Bloodrayne - Shitcase Cinema review

[IggyHazard]

0:32 Right next to 'Bloodrayne' on that list is 'Alone in the Dark', another Uwe Boll movie. And just a couple down from that is 'Death Racers', featuring The Insane Clown Posse. Some of the movies on that list are actually kinda sorta almost approximately halfway decent.

'Alone in the Dark' (the movie) was originally written to follow the Lovecraft-inspired story of the first game. Boll scrapped it and (very) loosely based it on the 4th game instead, making it all "modernized," "hip," and lame.

[Jaahhk]

These are on chiller right now.... haha i didn't know you reviewed this movie! haha shitcase just gets better and better...

[ScAgCoWbOy]

I would like to see you review Cyborg and it's sequels. I love that movie but it still would make a good review

[llchambers100]

Talentless ball licker? You give Boll too much credit!

[johnwx777]

Uwe Boll(ocks).

[kenneth2051]

The only good thing about this movie is rayne lol

[TheKurdt123]

While his movies are crap I actually would recommend watching Uwa Boll films like:House of the dead, Bloodrayne trilogy and alone in the dark just for the audio commentaries because he actually does think he's a good film maker and its hilarious.

[MrPongo3010]

this movie is so bad i couldn't even watch the clips

[J0tunhe1m]

You deserve much more views. Very entertaining reviews.

[Resifan72568312]

Have u seen bloodrayne 2???

[pretorious700]

hmm, water burns her? she must smell nice by now

[Smallvillenerd]

Michael Madsen can out act Gregory Peck without a doubt *cough*

[balkloth]

Please review the film Rampage. A few people on here have said that it's good. These people are lying bastards. It's spectacularly awful, just spectacular, I think you would love it in the kind of way you love testicular injuries.

[oldannyboy37]

@balkloth I'm with you. A friend of mine rented that unbelievable piece of crap and I sat through most of it. It's probably one of the most distasteful films I've ever seen.

For SCS's it can be summarized as a guy shooting up a bunch of innocent people with interjections of tapes (To make it reminiscent of the Columbine shootings.) with a nonexistent plot that make's no sense.

[RockerReview]

Uweo Boll is a bad direktor in many ways. Bloodrayne, House of the Dead and many other Movies scuked ass. But his new movies like Postal or Rampage are really good!

[worldofwarcraft600]

i think ill watch it

[raymondleeleggs]

Tis movie was okay at best, but you do have to admit that Kristanna Lokken Is a fine looking babe!

[Atripple]

You watched WWF? Shame on you. Go do 50 hail Kurt Russells.

[orichalcossaiyan]

Seriously if you're gonna make an actual good movie based off a video game have the fucking guys who wrote and made the game direct it or at least get a director to do it who isn't complete shit.

[UrbanDubTales]

Uwe Boll has studied Directory of movies in 3 different unis and still is not able to produce atleast one good movie

[Barrymit]

Water burning Rayne is the only thing that comes from the game.

Movies based on video games suck. Except for Street Fighter: The Animated Movie.

[12iveyhl]

Bloodrayne was not that bad, I've seen it, and it looked pretty good, but the worst vampire movie is Twilight, and Uwe Boll is not a bad director, and the reason, he made those films, because he made so much mistakes in his films, and he trying his best to become a good director, so don't hate on Uwe Boll, oh and he didnot make shitty movies for no reason, so give Uwe Boll a chance.

[newhavenstudent1]

Rampage and attack on drafur were pretty good. I guess he's actually starting to give a shit lol

[cfonsi]

there is a difference between uwe boll and ed wood

ed wood films=they were so bad they were good in many many ways.and at least many of his films had some interesting things

uwe boll=suckish "films" that suck f***ing balls in any way possible,but at least a miracle happened ,he finally made a good movie called Rampage

[JaK3sUcKeR]

you are absolutely fantastic! i love the way you just state your'e opinion about the film. i subscribed! i will continue watching shitcase cinema!

[TheUndying1001]

Lol, Uwa Boll-ock-sperience

[IggyHazard]

Uwe Boll is further proof that all Brits should secede from and openly rebel against Germany and the European Union.

[hobocamptheater]

you're actually correct with uwe boll making his films suck on purpose

he exploits russian movie making laws so that even if the movie bombs he still get's payed so he pretty much scrapes the barrel for actors and uses the tiniest budget known to non indie films so that he spends very little and still makes a crap load of money.

it's insulting.

[IggyHazard]

@hobocamptheater German, not Russian. But you're right. He also collaborates with internationalist bankers.

[Barrymit]

In the Nostalgia Critic's Alone in the Dark review, according to Spoony's commentary for that review, he said it was a choice between Alone in the Dark and Bloodrayne. I wish they review this film. Or even better have an Uwe Boll month.

[IDMWEIGHTSIDM]

i almost spat my tea all over my laptop at the meat loaf bit \o/

[Barrymit]

@IDMWEIGHTSIDM His laugh will haunt many for years to come.

[FATHERKINKY]

this is the worst horror film i have ever seen ... Period !!!!

But its such a shmae that there are some pretty good actors in here

Oh and is that Michelle Rodriguez at 6:34 ???

[Constantdoodle]

the best thing about this movie was Raynes tits....

[musicfreak9000]

the funniest part about uwe is that he changled some really nerdy crites on the net to a boxing match and beat the shit out of them on G4, then he wanted to have a fight with Seanbaby (the last 90s verision of the AVGN) when he found out sean knew marsial arts he went and cowarded in a corner.

[Cidiyance]

@musicfreak9000 XD!!! Holy shit, no kidding?

[musicfreak9000]

@Cidiyance I'm telling the truth dude, not only is he the worse dictor in history but hes a fucking arsehole and coward to boot

[Cidiyance]

@musicfreak9000 Just wait till they leave the guy and they go to other orditions.

[Iam18yearsolddddd]

ahahaahah cool

[Alan27Jorn]

She also played Taja in Mortal Kombat: Conquest.

[adambrown15]

what other boll film have you seen

[hyper672]

I seen this movie on scifi! I thought it was made for tv movie by scifi! this movie did sucked! Only reason i seen it becuse of Michelle Rodriguez!

The character who played Rayne sucked! Funny thing is i loved her in T3. I guess her acting is only good when shes doesnt talk! LOL! : )

They should have made Michelle Rodriguez Rayne! too bad they allways give her a small role in movies! never understand why?

i gave this movie a very low 1/5

[Barrymit]

@hyper672 Did you know that Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez dated whilst making this movie?

[daveishereuk]

Ha ha that was mint!!

[666brandon666]

How can this be BloodRayne if there's no fucking Nazis?

[cpfan2]

I saw part of this movie on TV one time, and I know what I am up against in Uwe Boll's atrocities. They all have stupid stories, wooden acting, poor special effects, and dull action scenes without substance. I can't believe all the big name stars I know from over the years who were duped into Boll's dirty works, like Christian Slater, Stephen Dourif, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez, Ben Kingsly, Mathew Lillard, John Rhys-Davies, and Ron Perlman for example. Uwe Boll is even worse than Ed Wood!

[TheSteampunkkid00079]

another uwe boll film you should review is house of the dead

[Cidiyance]

@TheSteampunkkid00079 Sounds like a job for me!

[diabeticmonkey]

If I wanna watch a film with hot vampires girls killing stuff, I'll go watch Underworld. At least that movie wasn't complete shit.

[takadox80]

this is only good, when you have like 20 beers in your throat, otherwise IT SUCKS!!!! HOW IN EARTH'S NAME CAN YOU MAKE A MOVIE SO F###TUP! I meam she cuts someone sideways in the mid, SIDEWAYS IN THE MID, and guess where the blood is coming from? FROM THE FREAKING LEGS!!! and then it goes up, seriusly this is one of the worst movies ever!

[frodo9]

The film was nominated for six Golden Raspberry Awards including, Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Kristanna Loken), Worst Supporting Actor (Ben Kingsley), Worst Supporting Actress (Michelle Rodriguez), Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay. Bloodrayne did not win any, as it was dominated by Basic Instinct 2 and Little Man with seven nominations each.

[frodo9]

The film was nominated for six Golden Raspberry Awards including, Worst Picture, Worst Actress (Kristanna Loken), Worst Supporting Actor (Ben Kingsley), Worst Supporting Actress (Michelle Rodriguez), Worst Director, and Worst Screenplay. Bloodrayne did not win any, as it was dominated by Basic Instinct 2 and Little Man with seven nominations each.[16]

[tybittz]

love your accent man. lol ;)

[hugeackman]

first uwe bollocksperience?

[GabbaGabbaHey529]

Personally, I don't see why everyone comares Uwa Boll to Ed Wood, I saw "Glen or Glenda" and "Plan 9" and I have to admit they were entertaining, even if for the wrong reasons at times due to corny effects, dialouge, and acting, don't get me wrong they are hopelessly flawed but at least you have fun watching them, BloodRayne however.... I couldn't wait to be over. I had to keep rewinding parts because I kept falling asleep and controlling rage from leaving out ALL of the elements from the game!

[IrishGuitarist]

You should have noted that the harem scene features ACTUAL prostitutes since Uwe wanted to save production costs.

[AshPeace]

I dont Get it! Why.... why in the hell there arent any good directros that can make a good game based movie. Fuck this... I like that game so I was hyped up with the movie, but after I saw it, I was pissed of and didnt even wanted to play BloodRayne2 cause It wold make me think about that fucking movie.

By the way.... you could have said something about that horrible sex scene.

If I can think of a good story for the movie, if fans can think out a good story, where the fuck is the problem?!!

[legorocks3]

His name is pernounced OO-VUH

[M0VYGURU]

hey great review man, funny shit! Uwa Boll's movies are ass! but hes not helping himself doing video game movies, they almost always suck. This isnt the only ones hes done either.

Uwa Boll=Ed Wood

[shitcasecinema]

Thanks man, appreciate your kind words. I've only seen two of Boll's movies but both suck badly.

[Cidiyance]

@shitcasecinema Uwa Boll, what a dook! What do you reckon (and yes I am saying it) is the best he's done?

[Barrymit]

@shitcasecinema There's a funny video called "Top 10 Hammiest Bloodrayne Moments."

By the way, Meat Loaf's laugh will haunt me for years.

[jointmatch]

@shitcasecinema 3 great movies to review that are shit,moontrap stariring walter koenig from star trek,and screamers starring peter weller,oh and killer clowns from outer space.they are deliciously awful...

[mattrutland]

@M0VYGURU But who is worse, Uwe or Paul Anderson?

[seanMmaguire1]

@mattrutland Uwe because Anderson has Event Horizen under his name which I think is pretty good.

[destroyer8604]

@mattrutland Paul Anderson has actually made the better movies and some of them are not half bad. He directed Mortal Kombat, which is probably the best video game movie made. He made the Resident evil series and those are not half bad.

[IggyHazard]

Billy Zane was awesome in Demon Knight.

[poinoup]

You wonder who is worse, Bowl for making this crap, or the studios for actually green lighting his projects.

[XSC3]

@poinoup one theory was that boll was making these as a big tax dodge. he actually challenged his critics to a fight (he's an ex-boxer by background if memory serves) and beat up some scrawny young guys basically.

[alcibiade666]

WHERE'S MY PAYCHECK??????!!!!!!

[mintyspace]

I cried when the sword broke lol

[iwonwalker1285]

well i have to say you have this film all WRONG! this is a masterpiece and the story runs so well. The actors and effects are truly amazing and I just bought the extended edition which shows billy zane's collection of wigs for the movie.theres even more great stuff but only true fans can get this special edition. liked the madsen "paycheck paycheck". he looked so fed up - from one great vampire movie (john carpenters - to this!! ouch) great review

[das81]

No offense, but I would be alarmed to see both mr. Kinsgley and miss Chaplin in this movie.

Good lord how they did get them into that mess?

[das81]

Guys, you should do Shadow chaser 1, 2 and 3.

[daly154]

Wow you are going hardcore now. Uwe boll is clearly the worst director in the history of movies.

[nunacom]

I have actually seen this movie...and it always amuses me when a quality actor gets involved with a big mistake.

[wakeylad107]

That was the best part! When I saw Prof.Bruce on the floor! LOL! The filmlooks shite! Niceone shitcase!

[jankokomuszek]

she looks clean enough for a person who cannot touch water

[phoenixshroud]

Great review. I take it that you will not be reviewing Bloodrayne 2 then!

The latest Uwe Boll effort is Far Cry (yet another videogame adaption!)

[arprodexec]

this sort of thing should appeal to me cos i like the underworld movies but the actors expressions really do speak volumes. the guy stood behind of his own fake legs is absolutely hilarious (they really didn't care who saw that) haha. 10/10

[owenneil]

The movie is comedy gold, how can people turn it off?

[oOexarkunOo]

Nah, the movie really is boring shit.

What is comedy gold is the Uwe Boll comentary and the interviews with him and the lead actress.

[shitcasecinema]

I can't even imagine what Uwe Boll has to say on an audio commentary, I wouldn't even dare think about putting the option on!

[owenneil]

no in the name of the king is boring shit. i laughed alot at Bloodrayne

[megamandbz]

its pronounced oova im dead sirios

sorry for my shit spelling

[themaskedgangsta]

lolololol

the ending ftw

also, did you knew that Uwe Boll used to challenge the critics that review his films into a kickboxing match... or boxing match i dont remember. Also, in my opinion, my worst Uwe Boll experience is alone in the dark

[Crowster666]

Long hair really does not Michael Madsen. I had high hopes for the film when I heard it was coming out, I really enjoyed the game but it looks really shite. I shan't even bother borrowing it from someone. Nice work man :).

[oOexarkunOo]

I see you enjoyed your first Uwe Boll experience!

This is everything I imagined and more. BRUTAL!!!

God-damn, I couldn't stomach fucking Bloodrayne for more than 15 minutes. One horse scene and I fuckin' puked.

[demonshrieker]

Don't forget about the fact that there's a SEQUEL!! And they're making a THIRD ONE

[oOexarkunOo]

Yeah, the sequel was a Old Western (cowboys and indians) vampire movie, that was direct to dvd.

I think the only reason anybody bought that garbage was because it brought Bloodrayne the game.

[Avzzor]

I feel sorry for you, you deserved to see Carnosaur and MK:annihaltion whatever its name is... but this film is just to much, i turned it of after 10 minutes...

but the review was EPIC!

5/5

what do you say about reviewing Silent Night, Deadly Night 2