Self Check FAIL

[AnatoPhysi]

omfg ... that machine was really rude...

[xxmannylee1992xx]

"You have breast like a women" XD

[raelonewolf]

"You sweat bacon fat." Lol I love it!

[poisonforsocrates]

When did GLADOS get into the grocery store?

[craigsamuelrobinson]

91 people sweat bacon fat

[89lillyflower]

awe, that was mean... i still laughed

[iluvbrowniez]

lolz

[discolemonade719]

You sweat bacon fat.

Next costumer?

[VictoryFire88]

haha A++

[kmbbmk1]

Unplug that bitch.

[TheLovebug202]

omg i have the fries and corndogs i so would pay for self check to say that to ppl xD

[Vampryss42]

Awww, poor guy. :( I mean, I laughed a lot, but awww, I just feel sorry for the guy.

[Sei1863]

I laughed, but I felt sorry for the actor!

[Kochokoi]

GLaDOS?!

[oywidapoodles]

Anyone else think of that season one episode of X-Files? Creeeeeepy.

[eldoctoruno]

We need these EVERYWHERE!

[NextToNothing123]

that's exactly why you AVOID the regular check out line... to avoid the judgemental eyes of the cashier!

[presbarkeep]

88 people sweat bacon fat.

[ajuk1]

Ha ha I run one of these.

[cnofootage]

haha

[1995avatar]

The original GLaDOS

[XavierAXB]

The Aerial Faith Plate wouldn't be calibrated for someone of his generous...-ness.

[TheKyle5678]

WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS FAIL

[Valkyrie7701]

This made my day. <3

[brizzo7]

I wish I sweated bacon fat.... Damn that'd be a tasty workout!

[veryboredpug]

@brizzo7 I wish you sweated bacon fat too... o_o

[woog757]

Is that you Lewis Black? :D

[Strawlighte]

put items in conrndog

[myuuzimiki]

:D and also D:

[ilovemusicWIKA]

10lbs of shit in a 5lb bag lol!!!!!

[Roxie21]

Aw, you let me down with this one. You're better than fat jokes.

[MoooonshoesPotter]

anyone think of Umbridge from AVPS?

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I make you cry, you CHUBBEY LITTLE F***!!"

[NyriaMarbeu]

OMG Actually lol "10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag"

[MarieKennan]

well, thats one way to save money at the store....

[KrazyKay357]

a bolivic! that's what my grandpa said all the time! (10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag) that's what it is in slovakian! lol :)

[Jthetinman]

What's next? Next we gotta stock the shelves too? Clean the bathrooms, fix the leaky roof? Such bullshit! I DONT wanna do self checkout!! I understand, the bigwigs like it cause the fuckin machines dint call in sick, machines don't claim workers claim injuries. But, really? Consumers hate it!! Fuck!! When I see those machines, and there is no live person.... I drop my shit and leave. Fuck it.

[nothlithawk777]

@Jthetinman What are you talking about?! I LOVE self-checkout! It's faster, more efficient, and better for privacy. Dealing with a machine is much easier than dealing with a cashier.

[countrygirl5692]

that's EXACTLY why i always mute those things... even if i'm only getting one or two things... xD

[diana102393]

THEY ARE AT PAVILIONS!!!!!!!!! I LIVE right next to there! X] i never saw them... :[

[boringgrass]

LOL

[Catchicken89]

Heheh, self-checkout machines are always bitches. Even without knowing what items you're buying.

[mcrluvr222]

I woulda kicked the shit out of that machine :P

[endinghunger]

@mcrluvr222 sorry my friend but you most be fat, and probably you are sweating bacon fat hahahahaha just kidding no offense

[mcrluvr222]

@endinghunger trust me im not. maybe I'm just empathetic cause i was a chubby kid and I know what it feels like to be laughed at cause of how you look. even if I was fat, that would give me even more reason to feel bad :( I know it's only a video, but it makes me sad to know that there are people who really go through that daily.

[endinghunger]

@mcrluvr222 thats very true, sorry my friend

[mcrluvr222]

@endinghunger no prob, it's all good :)

[IlaughedIcried]

@mcrluvr222 This made me sad too, for the same reason. BUT, my guess is that the bitchy checkout robot probably insulted EVERY customer based on whatever physical characteristic was most dominant. She was probably an equal-opportunity robot bitch. :)

[Agomongo1235]

tey really hav that?

[izyfoshizzyofc]

ROFL!! "Please place item in... Corndogs? Seriously... Corndogs?" LOLOL

[Bowie281]

you sweat bacon fat HA! nice

[14rock9]

58 people missed the like button

[ryanspitfire]

you look like 10 pounds of shit in a five pound bag

[baddiva00]

so funny.! harlious

[Afliss92]

Not really a fail.... I'd call that an epic win

[erinxevolution]

What a bitch ass self checker x3

[JEDI7ACEN]

That was funny, But those corn dogs are the shizzle! A box of 28 from Costco beetches!

[phuse99]

llmao bacon fat

[illinskillin]

the fun machine took a shit and died, 0:36

[chupacabra1234567]

lmao "you look like 10lbs of shit in a 5lb bag"

wooow

[dragonclam1]

Fleshy Corpulate Butterball

[Mexigonzo]

everyone who watched this video... your moms are much much fatter than that guy!

[16161161661]

I find TheSecondCityNetwork much funnier than CollegeHumor

[Beentakenaway123]

aww poor guy. all he wanted was corndogs.

[dayvydnatl]

omg! that was too funny.. i would have smashed that auto check out thing.. good stuff!!

[XavierAXB]

He really should've bought a cake.

[blazed911]

That self-checkout was such a stupid biatch!

[JustinPierce1226]

And lastly: You know you are fat when you cant make it up your front stairs. You know you are fat when rosie o donnell gives you kudos. You know you are fat when you cant see your own goods in three mirrors. You know you are fat when you finally do see them and go "I never knew!" You know you are fat when you need a van to get around that says wideload on the back. You know you are fat when, well, people tell you that you are. You know you are fat when You end up on the Tosh.0 show later on!

[JustinPierce1226]

More fat jokes thanks to me and Tosh! "Is that a flipper?" "why did the fat man go to the gym? Nobody knows." "BING! Ten points for hitting the fat guy on the bicycle and then an extra ten for him rolling downhill!" "Is that a rhino?" "Lookout! He has gas!" "Why are most Americans so fat? Would you work if our government handed out money to you??" "Why do fat people get to park so close to stores? Shouldnt they walk??" "Why do fat people get handicap stickers?? Why not a oversize load one?"

[JustinPierce1226]

Why did the fat kid cross the road?? He didn't. I hit him. Why did the chicken cross the road?? Because He was running from fatass! How many fat kids would it take to fill an olympic sized pool? One, if it is fat enough. "Welcome to McDonalds!... Oh shit nvm. You're fat." "Welcome to... Nope. Not happening. Next!" "Hi! Want some extra grease with your fat?" "A priest, a racist and a fatass walk into a bar. The priest looks voer and says JESUS CHRIST!" And now I have ruined fat people's lives :)

[Savage999111]

10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag definitely using that one

[DaFawky]

@Savage999111 You might look dumb when they say you don't the difference between weight and volume..

[thebuilderddd]

How did u do that?

[Erilis666]

the original GLaDOS

[Tractorchic686]

@Erilis666

lol

[SpartanDoctrine]

@Erilis666 "GLaDOS, the early years."

[lhart4ever]

@Erilis666 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN I SAW THIS

[Noodleshop101]

@Erilis666 Thats exactly what i thought XD

[Crazyanna13]

Self Checkouts, keeping people health since 2009.

[rozzy360]

"You look like 10 lbs of shit in a 5 lb bag" lolol priceless!

[apathag]

dang, i buy those frozen corn dogs all the time.

[tteez57]

omg imagine this happened in real life...no one would ever buy anything!

[oddball324]

Come close.. Closer.... You look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pund bag i fell to the floor laughing lmao!!!

[GetItRight222]

hahaha I love that shit!

[GetItRight222]

lol

[FF7RLZ]

The voice sounds distinctly like GLaDOS, from Portal. AWESOME!

[zerbo803]

LMAO this hits a little close to home.....

[Drewski416]

You look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag! ammaazzzinnngg

[BombayShiin]

Corndogs? seriously?

[arisen512]

thats so mean!

[StuntedJubJub]

Nice. Reminds me of when I was in Sobey's and a guy kept freaking out at the self checkout because it was "telling him what to do."

This situation would be funnier to watch lol.

[bitratecomedy]

Do you guys do a video called sassy gay friend?

[shazeline]

thumbs up for HAL 9000 2001 space odyssey reference at :44

[XmortdreadX]

@shazeline u need to put a "0" like 0:44 so it works

[shuttledik]

It might be funnier if it was the checkout grrl. hehe1

[Erilis666]

lol, i totally get this skit. Sometimes I find myself at the grocery store at 11pm buying beer, candy, chips and toilet paper and simply do not want anyone seeing all that shit. SELF CHECKOUT IS THE ANSWER! =D

[CURIOUSSERA]

Ok it starts off funny but it gets mean

[Pacificzoo]

Sassy Gay Friend?

[Erilis666]

@Pacificzoo sassy gay self checkout machine

[L0LProductions97]

@Erilis666 OMG sassy gay checkout machine is genious!

[lydiad452]

lol you look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag lol wtf

[OnlyMe8712]

LMFAO<3

[ferrari250tr]

would've been funnier with more items and some subtler humor.

[BombayShiin]

corndogs? seriouslly?

[QuitePossiblyANinja]

we can mock smokers, but we cant mock fat people?

[lillazyboi]

PWHAHAH omg. that was funny.

[ohshitits4]

look at your body, your fat. LMAO

[Lisa246861]

that was mean...

[AntisepticNoir]

"You sweat bacon fat."

ROFLMAO.

[passivenexus]

lol

[taelxr]

OMG I LOVE IT

[madi492]

LOL "did i hurt your feelings? you fleshy corpulent butter ball?" hahahaha

[AdamOfNebb]

Oh god, Glados' programing has leaked into our grocery stores.

[nochokin]

lmao

[Ezienne844]

I loved her voice- it successfully sounded both feminine and robotic.

[keesdragon]

yessssssssssssssssss haha :D

[Dkooler1]

nice

[belaskuezz]

iGuess Jamie Oliver Needs To Go To This Guy's Hometown...

[ColleentheBoyd]

now if these were real they might just save a lot of people from buying that tub of ice cream for one

[smashballbrawler]

I am so jealous of his man tits man tits man tits watch them jiggle watch them flop watch them wiggle watch them stop man tits man tits man tits

[StoryofThief]

He is pretty fat...

[derebin]

omg I hate when it does that

[link182ava44]

ah this is at a sawfeway.

[ThatBaileyKid]

I liked this but i wish there were more sassy gay guys.

[starcatcher1015]

"you have breasts like a woman"LOL

[blackcrss]

'you sweat bacon fat'. lol

[taco453]

Baw

[AMFxCful]

HAHAHAH!!!

[TheLateNightAlumni]

LMFAO!!!

[570ant]

The rude machine called him a blivet! LOL.

[m16mang]

lmao ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag xD

[danielblack4]

LMAO!!! you look like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. that has to be one of the best things I have heard in a while

[xwithaflourishx]

HAHAHA you sweat bacon fat

[blindman696]

HAHABAHABAJAKDJFHGLKJAHHAHAHAH­AHAH you sweat bacon fat...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Bobolala333]

@blindman696 how did you get 47 thumbs up?

[romaooamor]

It's funny however it's sad that people don't understand the difference between fiction meant to be funny and real life. I don't think it's funny when these type of situations happen in real life. Today I saw an obese 10 year old in a pool being seriously mocked by these other 2 kids. Nice video :)

[bretchet23]

@romaooamor yeah kids are assholes like that. can't stand em

[lordsuji]

@romaooamor eh maybe if he gets mocked enough he will get healthy i would have hated it if people just let me keep being over weight when i was.. people just need to stop being emotional pussies and also stop being so fuckin lazy

[romaooamor]

@lordsuji I understand your point and I can see the benefits of being called to the attention of that problem... To some extent... The thing is, if there is a person to blame in the case I mention, it's the parents and after them in second place would be the people that mock him. Remember this is a child so parents should take action. Most of the cases I know of over weight people, the seek comfort on eating because of how criticised they are.

[romaooamor]

@lordsuji I finished college last year and during it I gain some weight, not that much but I've been going to the gym everyday busting my ass there and been eating super healthy. Now, I am fond of a healthy lifestyle, but I do have to confess that sometimes I wonder if I'm doing this because I want to be healthy or because of the comments I got in the last couple of years. Anyway, to us adults I guess criticism can help, but I doubt that works the same way in a child.

[FinaIAeon]

@romaooamor If a self checkout machine tells you you're fat, its got to be true. It's not mean, its just a reality check. And everyone gets bullied at some point in their life they bully or they be bullied, its sad but its reality. I feel bad for that kid but even if he wasn't fat he'd be made fun of for something else if he looks like an easy enough target.

[Joeofiowa]

@romaooamor

I used to be very overweight during several years of gradeschool. Kids should be taught that weight and looks aren't everything, but also taught that it's healthy to stay fit. We've got to get away from the accusatory culture...it doesn't help!

[PunkNolife]

@Joeofiowa Kids are NOT taught that looks and weight is everything.

KIDS GROW UP, And the hormones take place.

[AntisepticNoir]

@romaooamor

The child's parents should be mocked for not teaching their child proper eating habits, and those kids should be strung up and beaten.

[colemckelvie]

@romaooamor quit being such a fucking pussy and watch the fucking video

[MuerteDeAmor]

@romaooamor Well then he can either learn some self control and stop being such a fat piece of shit, or he can stand up for himself.

[achabotte]

@romaooamor well yeah thats fucked up, but those parents really should be keeping the kid on a healthy diet. but if i see an adult that is morbidly obese are is just too damn lazy to walk and instead uses those carts at the stores i just get pissed off. nobody should be that fat

[MusicLova84]

Hysterical! "you sweat bacon fat" LOL some people do need to be reminded, like do you really need that cheeseburger? lol

[envagelium]

Lol fucking hilarious.....

[punkit743]

These are supposed to speed things up and sometimes the queue is longer that the actual checkouts. "Wait for assistance" the girl strolls over and looks at you as if you shit in the carrier bag, presses a button, sighs then struts off!!.

[BlackANDWhiteConnect]

lmfaoooo

[N1CKF3D]

Lol, you look like ten pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag. xD

[Gizopia]

lmao

[raihein]

hahhahaaa! loved that !

[WatkinsJulie]

Corpulent was one of my vocab words

[eattreats]

that was awesome haha

[ripoll91]

I hate when those things tell you to place item in bagging area, then you do, and they keep asking you to. And then: "Please wait for assistance." D:<

[pibot314]

lol

[teddybruscie]

That was fucked up.

[disturbedshawn]

You look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.