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  • This guy can really taste Jesus.

  • Every time Matt isn't there I get really sad, he's an awesome speaker.

  • I swear pastors and evangelicals always talk like they are trying to talk someone out of committing suicide....that soft, perverted, condescending tone.....makes me puke.

  • @gasmask4poop Like Ted Haggard? He's child-molestor creepy.

  • the close mindedness of this person is startling... like... wow... I weep for the past when people like this ruled the world, and I weep for any nation still shackled by such bigotry. Thank the stars religion is FINALLY dying... maybe we will fucking get somewhere as a species now.

  • @red666111 "Amen" to that! lol. But seriously, the world will be a MUCH better place with no religion.....check out my atheist vids too. give them a thumbs up!

  • So Jesus 'revealed' himself and then this guy tasted his 'water'. Okay...

  • Shit man... the caller was doing ok... then he flips out and started with the "god will take you out...etc etc".... damn dude... =X i almost felt sorry for him.

  • In order to accept Jesus you have to believe insects have 4 legs...I'm thinking Jesus was a Child.

  • When he says "It's a relationship" at 0.58 it sounds like he's having an orgasm. Did Jesus do that, d'you reckon?

  • I can't believe Nicholas Cage called in to this show.

  • This caller could be on TV some day

  • "It's a deeper level than science and logic... hahahahahahahaha

    

  • This guy's god sounds like an asshole. The spaghetti monster is much more reasonable.

  • @fatouche99 all hail his noodley appendage!!!

  • @gasmask4poop that's what SHE said.

  • this caller gets the reward for using the most meaningless cliches in 60 seconds ever!

  • If god controls everything about your life,well then how do you have complete freewill???The god of the paradox strikes again!

  • wow. listening to this guy long enough and you might get your brain washed into licking his feet.

  • for some reason the callers voice reminds me of sean penn when he was playing that stoned surfer dude in fast times at ridgemont high

  • Assigning attributes to your imaginary friend is exactly like describing a unicorn in detail. Utterly pointless.

  • The caller is right. Every christian I've known was very childish.

  • Holland is just a boring country. Only once a person told me about the devil, when I was young. He asked me "do you know what the devil is... he has pointy horns a long tail and a trident, like poseidon..." I then saw him running out of the store. He was a shoplifter who stole a jar of apple sauce. He set me straight for good :)

  • so basically, christ is a big tall refreshing glass of sprite.

  • @moonlightkisu i never liked sprite. it gives me this terrible tingly feeling.

  • I don't think people have a right to tell somebody they are unhappy and their life is meaningless when it's not their life and people are different. That would be just like me telling everybody they should all get a dog for a pet because that's something I love in my life and that they won't be happy until they have a dog. Not everybody likes dogs and it's not for everybody. As long as they are not hurting themselves or somebody else emotionally or physically let them do what makes them happy.

  • too all atheist save the planet and become earth fertilizer as soos as possible. If you are not indulging in earthly pleasure everyday your lives are being wasted.

  • @visionvp I agree with you, except I think we need to switch the word Atheist with Theist

  • As hosts, this duo is great and incredibly patient--I would be in constant trouble for being more than a little impolite regarding this crap...

  • The caller is a fucking whack job

  • haha this guy is awesome

  • deeper than science and logic.. you have NO idea what science has and will potentially find out about te beauty and majesty of reality.

  • Can anyone else imagine this guy sitting in the dark, with no clothes off, and touching himself while he was describing his "relationship" with Jesus?...

  • That guy needed to be Jeff Dee'd...

  • If someone gives you a glass of water on a desert island, ask where his fucking boat is.

  • Children will belive ANYTHING you tell them because children are STUPID enough to trust people not to tell them lies. Most people grow up, some dont.

  • @smithcas86 Listen, children arent stupid. Their only source of information about truth is from other people, unfortunately those other people lie, that doesnt make the child stupid, it doesnt even make them gullible. When your only source of verbal information comes from others, you have to have a degree of trust in those people to tell you the truth, cause if not how would the child learn how to survive?

  • @guyfromdubai Actually, children are stupid. I define stupidity as an inability to think critically and objectively about the information they are given. Children are this way because their brains are not fully developed and they rely on others for their information. My point was that most children grow up to have functioning, critical minds and some dont. This caller being case in point.

  • @smithcas86 but see, children can truly believe things with blind faith--For instance ask the average 4 year old if Santa is real. Thing is, Santa is not real and the poor kid was being misled and tricked, good naturedly of course. In the end ,Religion wants us to adopt the faith of a child who can be duped into believing a jolly man in a red suit brings them gifts for no other reason than he has a want to do so. This has merit in what way exactly? Crazy.

  • Urrrrgh, I wanna fill my life up with Jesus SO much. Fill me up Jesus, PLEASE! *fap fap fap fap*

    ...idiot ¬.¬

  • i have a feeling we could build a warp drive to punch a hole in space and people would still believe this shit

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  • 0:05 "when you are trying to understand things you have to be like a little child, before you accept christ" So god/christ wants simple minded people? People who look up to him and just accept anything that is written in the bible, without questioning? That might explain the "my god can beat up your god" mentality.

  • Ooh Kool-Aid!...., why u so deliciouss??

  • It's pointless to try to get anything across to callers such as this; he can't process what's being said to him; it's as if they were speaking a foreign language to him. He didn't understand anything of what they're saying because he was just not listening.

  • Proverbs 14:15

    The simple believeth every word but the prudent man looketh well to his going.

    There it is. Theists believe without question and top it off with denial.

  • The amusing thing is that they let this guy go on for quite a while and during that time they were probaly thinking "Here we go..." and he thought that he was saving them...

  • "The difference is, is that"

    Most annoying and frequently-used grammatical error ever uttered.

  • @SeedsOfHatred Another grammatical error that is quite common is "close proximity".

  • @bermudaguy1 "There's things"

  • "You see, the thing that makes Christianity different from other religions is that it's different from other religions. Therefore, it's true."

  • but what about all the other religions? derp well uh.. christianity is different because the bible says so..

  • I had no idea that Nicholas Cage was so religious.

  • @FantasmaBAnco Lulz

  • @FantasmaBAnco Lulz

  • Sounds like that boy from Jesus Camp has grown up. Physically/vocally anyway.

  • WOW , just wow

  • listen up; this is how brainwashing sounds like...

  • Jesus turns grown men into helpless children? Jesus wins; BABALITY!

  • I make all major decisions as if I were a child. I was just working one of my clients in foreclosure and used this tactic. I demanded that the bank lower the interest rate to ten snickers a week and a balloon payment of twenty actual helium balloons.

  • Christianity is right because Jesus is the son of God. wow! Priceless logic

  • @OneParticleCharged: And the bible is the unequivocal word of god because it says so... in the bible.

  • @jezmundberserker Yea, on one level it's funny but then you think about it, these people are seriously genuine. It's so ridiculous it comes across like a Saturday Night Live skit, but to guys like the caller in this video they're not joking. How otherwise seemingly educated people be that intellectually blind is baffling. It's like saying "I know Santa Claus brings presents because my parents told me he does."-"I know my parents were telling me the truth because I got presents."

  • If Jesus died for our sins......

    Shouldnt we at least try to get our moneys worth?

  • BORN ONCE....."doing just fine".

  • If God could take out all Atheists, why DOESN'T he?

    Because....no Gods exists?

  • @Emlis16 Answer.......

    Because there is no such thing.

    Also....why does he need worshipped all the time? Praised?

    Hes kinda insecure isnt he!

    "Worship me or I will torture you forever"

    :Have a nice day"

    God.

    Religion.......All bullshit......all the time.

  • @fab42 HAHAHA Mental pic in my head:

    This "God" is the nerdy kid at school and is picked on, so he created the universe using Paint on his computer and drew the Universe and thinks if he makes Man, at least SOMEONE will like him and praise him. Funny thought...

  • @fab42 But that's a good point...why does a God need praise ALL the time?

    I stick by what I said before :P

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  • it's as easy as this. when we were little kids, adults told us about the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, santa claus, and god. as we grew up were learned the tooth fairy, the easter bunny and santa claus never existed and we accept it w/o question. so why does that same logical thinking towards god not register w/ so many people?

  • @illegalmonkey Because there's supposedly more to lose.

    "Watch out! There's an Easter Bunny standing right behind you. But if you turn around, you might scare it off and it'll run away."

    "Watch out! There's Santa Clause standing right behind you. But if you turn around, you might not get any presents for Christmas."

    "Watch out! There's God standing behind you and he's pointing a gun at your head. Don't you dare turn around, you sinner!"

  • Kind of reminds me of Peter Popoff the way preaches his BS, give it up Tony you are Lost in Life.

  • Why is it I always have to "taste" Jesus in order to understand what he has to offer me. Its always some taste or drink or water. SUCH A SHITTY METAPHOR! I would never drink a glass of water from some random ass on the street EVEN IF I WAS THIRSTY!

  • it's like talking to a wall

  • I like how the caller gets all exited during his explanation and I'm kind of sorry that they didn't go "That's EXACTLY how heroin users feel!".

  • Matt and Jeff would have ripped this guy apart.

  • People like this caller make me embarrased to be the same species.. it's offensive to the greater human intellect

  • Religious memes survive because they find the environment of credulous human minds a fertile place to grow and replicate.

  • It reminds me of my three-year-old niece. After hearing from my step-dad that the princess in her puzzle couldn't be Rapunzel because Rapunzel had golden hair, she thought for a moment and then said "she has magic hair." I immediately thought of almost every creationist argument I've ever heard.

  • If you believe in someone that said he was god, you are an idiot. But if someone said he was the son of god.. now.. why would anyone lie about that??

  • @greenjelly01 Well said. Funniest comment ever!

  • Like he just brought this SPEECH from the gut.[ thinking, GOD am your vessel fill my mouth with righteousness]. Epic.

  • This guy was a fool. A christian attempting to convince atheists (who are noted to base their non-belief on logic) of his religion's truth with a testimonial saying that the truth is beyond logic is like a cat trying to get a dog high on catnip. This amounted to a prank call, not a serious attempt to convert.

  • Jesus =)

  • Blah, blah, blah, blah, ect ect ect...

    This fuckin theist needs a life. I don't see how Martin or Ashley not go off on this moron. His argument is all emotionally based. I wish Jeff Dee was on this show so he could tear into this nut job!

  • man this caller is deep

  • Wow that is a lot of mushy feelings this guy pours out. In a way I feel pretty bad for him. He's soooo emotionally attached to this crap that he just goes on and on and on...

  • an imaginary friend that lets you live forever? I guess you would have to be a child to buy into that...

  • @chica349 Even children won't believe this stuff if left to their own devices. It takes first-rate indoctrination to bypass a child's natural questioning nature.

  • @jsnake01 I agree.Left to their own devices kids stop believing in santa,the tooth fairy or that Noah didn't take all the animals on the ark.A lot of these children are terrified into believing these stories, just look at jesus camp.I also watched something where teenagers were shown plays in church on how they would burn in hell after abortions or same sex marrage.I teach my child how to think not what to think

  • Taste Jesus.

  • Sounds like this guy has a sexual lust for Christ by the way he talks.

  • @GnosticHumanist South Park feelings...

  • @GnosticHumanist He does want to taste him and be filled by him.

  • I wish Jeff and Matt answered this call instead.

  • @Evolved primate. Don't you think a book written over the course of thousands of years would have some knowledge? Sooo yeah, I would much rather believe on a sacred book inspired by the creator of the universe than today's science. Considering science is only trying to understand, breaking down and categorizing nature, which is created by God to begin with

  • @uzeasukka26 Science stems from hypotheses and validation using data. It would be incorrect and downright arrogant to claim absolute authority on a subject, particularly in the way the way the religious claim certainty with no verifiable evidence. An ancient tome may have some geographical accuracy and philosophy, but it doesn't reveal things about the world the way we can by trying to explicate observations and through experimentation. Science catalogs reality; religion warps it.

  • in the old testament it says that there was a tree so tall that everyone on earth could see it. which cannot be true because the earth is round not flat and the last time i checked a tree just goes up

  • @iMATT961 not necassarily so........everyone on Earth at that time could have been living near the tree : )

  • Even though he was occasionally quiet I don't think the listener ever really listened to what you were saying.

  • Why in the hell would you go like a child to understand something so big and grand? A child has very little intellect or cognitive abilities to discern truth from fantasy.In fact a child will believe pretty much anything their parents tell them, including that Santa is real. So it explains a lot why so many are duped into believing in god, especially if they come at it from this perspective because they suspend all their abilities to discern the truth and go back to fantasy land.

  • This guy is excruciating to listen to

  • i picture this guy looking like jesus.

  • This caller or any one else shouldn't be allowed to preach.

    Tell me what you know not what you read in 2 thousand year old book.

  • Aleister Crowley just used psychedelics and made up his own religion pretty much to help himself get off of heroin. He still used heroin at the end of his life for pain and died on it. Christians like to say he worshiped the devil but they say that about every other religion on Earth. Obviously, they have never actually read any of Crowley's books or they would know that he just liked to get high.

  • "You have to come to Jesus like a child."

    Incredibly, I agree. Only by abrogating most of what you've learned SINCE you were a child will any of this gibberish make sense. Ignorance is religion's favourite food (but it also likes vulnerability, desperation and gullibility).

  • This idiot is like a radio that you can only shut up by smashing it to pieces!

  • Rick Perry? ;)

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  • If I were on a desert island and someone handed me a glass of water, I would hope there was room in his boat to save my castaway ass. Forget this "tasting the sea" metaphor.

  • WOw.Why do atheist need evidence 4 everything.Have yall ever thought this way ..Maybe were not suppost to have evidence that something exist.Like Ants dont know we can destroy them anytime we want but we know that.Its the sameway for God the creator who created mystery for us to grow so obvisouly there will be corruption in realigion because the greatest trick Satan ever had was trickin man he didnt exist.

  • @TheBell65 So Satan successfully created over 2000 other religions, thousands of dinosaur fossils with fake concentrations of radiation, about 50 sequential fossil forms from apes to humans, made the universe expand, switched the earth and the sun from their initial positions and inflated the flat earth so it could be round instead of flat. All this to trick man into rejecting god's word? Daaaamn he's even more powerful and intelligent than the creator himself!

  • @chriss0008 Satan is a God himself.The title he gives himself.He has angles that are around us everywhere we go to promote War,Kill,Rape,Corrupt,Lie,and Turn God the man upstairs into the bad guy.If your a atheist why do politians and billionares have alot to do with Satanism.Dont beleive look at the skull and bones.The bOhemian Groove.The 5 pointed star that is on the elephent {Republican}.The Eye of horus which you can find on the dollar bill.

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  • @chriss0008 he's a smart little fella isn't he?

  • @chriss0008 And what's worse is that God let him do all that shit. God doesn't give a fuck.

  • @TheBell65 We're not ants.

  • @superfisto That was like a metaphor tryin to make scence without going in detail.But its like we are ants cuz we cant even travel to diffrent plantets.Ants would take millions of years to think to travel to another state.You see what im saying.Tell me if im confusing

  • @TheBell65 Except...we're not ants. Once you say that we are incapable of understanding God you are, by definition, talking gibberish.

    It's irrational to claim to be logical while appealing to the incomprehensible.

    I've read some of your other comments on here and it's obvious that you're a nutter. So unless you come up with something really interesting, I'm going to go ahead and end this conversation.

  • @superfisto I want you to know that i didnt start to say all of this to make atheist look bad or disrespect the atheist society.Just coming from my side of the view i want to help cause i care not because i want to embarace you.Just wondering do you know why the goverment uses Satanic symbols?Or dou you know who Alistair Crowley is?

  • @superfisto And please explain how im a nutter im guessing that mwans crazy?

  • He paid the price for you, but he keeps his shotgun on that shelf just in case you get a bit rowdy.

  • 0:58 When the guy said his connection with Christ was a relationship, it sounded a bit more than a spiritual one to me... xD

  • Its a sad illustration of mentally dependent or highly suggestible people who have become obsessed with religious extremism. It doesn't matter what question you ask him, he will always respond with the repetitious pablum.

  • One thing I wonder is, these guys appear to ME like they don't believe anything they cannot SEE. So I wonder if they believe in historical events recorded in history books.

  • I think he's too immature to have any other kind of relationship anyway.

    I bet he cries when he cums.

  • The end quote is from the man who taught me to embrace my nonbelief, George Denis Patrick Carlin. Thanks, ya old fuck.. and thanks to the Atheist Experence for picking up where he left off, for me. :)

  • what if you taste the water and it's salt water? Or you could use science to test whether the water is drinkable.

  • This guy is filling a void alright, his closet.

  • Guy sounds like he is getting off...wow...damn...give me some religion :D If I start feeling like he sounds than ohhhh wow....but na I'll stick with atheism thank you...

  • creepy guy O.O.........

  • Atheists have a close personal relationship with reality.

  • @fab42 Dude, that is so clever that I'm stealing it. I hope you don't mind.

  • @supermark420

    Steal away!!!!

    Its the truth!!!

    I dont mind at all!

  • @supermark420 Heres another......

    "Have you threatened YOUR children with eternal damnation today?"

    or

    BORN ONCE...."doing just fine".

  • @fab42 It's funny coz it's true :P

    I'm so glad my parents didn't force religion on me...not that much..

  • I once had a terrible fever. On my sickbed, I was visited by an incredible spectral figure. Marilyn Monroe herself came to me and told me to fear the rabbit man. You can throw all your logic and science and reason and hygienic bathing habits at it, but I know what I saw. Marilyn Monroe is real and all she wants is for you to love her and believe in her, and to fear the rabbit man......I still don't quite understand that last bit of the delirium.

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  • First time he said relationship at 0:58...I seriously got creaped out.

  • Yeah, throw all logic and reason ans science out the window for an invisible man/myth. Makes perfect sense! LOL! Brainwashing is all religion is.

  • If I ever want to become an evangelist with my own ministry, I WANT THIS GUY IN ON MY ENTERPRISE.

  • Caller: "you don't control your own heartbeat.." Martin: "uh-oh.."

    makes me laugh for some reason

  • 0:56 When he says, "It's a relationship." Sounds like he must be a big Faith Plus One fan. "I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasin' Jesus, I wanna feel his salvation all over mah face...."

  • Man, does this guy irritate me and remind me of various people that I've tried to reason with!!!

  • This guy simply sounds brainwashed. There's no other way to explain the nonsense he spews.

  • @MrWagman11 I fear you are correct. It is very sad.

  • @MrWagman11 There is the option that he's trolling, but I doubt it. He does sound like he's surrendered his humanity entirely.

  • @Lleanlleawrg I believe he's on the level. I know people like this. People like this greatly baffle me.

  • I love the fact that this moron just kept on a preachin! Dick. He didn't even bother to try and answer anything they said, he just listened to the questions (every once in a while) and kept reading from his script. They should have hung up on his ass the first time he decided not to answer. It says a lot about his god.

  • That is why we need Matt. Matt would've hung up on this prick in about 7 seconds. You don't get to preach on this show, you're DONE.

  • This guy sounds like "The Cowboy" from "Mulholland Dr."

    

  • It's a relationship with an imaginary friend...

  • @LOGICandREAS0N he is not imaginary.

  • @elibeth121 Provide evidence.

  • @LOGICandREAS0N For what

  • @elibeth121 Provide evidence that your god is not an imaginary friend.

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  • Why was Jesus born to be responsible for everyone else? Not only did "people kill him", but "God planned it"?

  • @SoFlySoAwesome Yes, it was God's will to send his son so that people could see that Jesus was real and could know who the God is. Jesus had to die, so that we could go to heaven. There is no other love, than those who lay down the life for us.

  • I believe the caller feels that there is something more to life than the laws of physics and neurochemistry, it's an intuition of life that shines there on its panentheistic surface.