Crackwalker- I know I keep posting to the same videos, but something you said really hit home. You said of this anger, "And it can also go in a flash". People talk about hair trigger tempers- going off really quickly- but rarely about suddenly losing the anger. This has happened to me before during arguments. Suddenly, the anger's gone. Sometimes, I'm even thinking, "Why was I so angry?" And there I am in the middle of a fight, suddenly devoid of anger, with the other person riled up. Awkward.
I hear that.. my son has seen this enough tht now when my rage disappears he looks at me - dead pan expression - and he says, :are you doen now"? and we move on leaving it in the past.. thank god for understanding..
I am sorry you have to deal with this. Rage and anger (when misplaced, too strong, etc.) destroys everything, as I'm sure you know. I like how you said, "When I rage, I hurt." From the outside, when people are often raging or having angry episodes all the time, it seems like they must like it because they keep doing it, seemingly without proper provocation, but that is so far from the truth. It is miserable and it destroys and hurts you, your loved ones, and your relationships.
Its difficult, because rage is seen as uncontrolled bad manners, society has a very dim view on rage and to have it uncontrolled at times can be quite frightening.
I think rage also can be the tool of wanting to exist. Rage can be made into strength. Don't underestimate anger. I thought for a long time that rage and anger was ONLY negative. But remember to question it, remember your positive sides in your personality, no matter how traumatized you are...
Well I guess the reason I hold down a job is cos I have balls & I'm not going to be dictated to by my doc or shrink, so they can screw there meds. I'll do it my way.
I'm having a rage day today. My doc has decided to taper me off my meds. as she doesn't want me to become reliant on them & thinks that seeing my shrink will be more beneficial. So what was the point in putting me on them?
they always try meds out on your first., but actually for bpd there are no spec ific drugs.. if you are depressed you get anti-d's if you are anxious you get a benzo.. I prefer to be as drug free as I can. i'm more alert.
When I was angry at the world, I would take all the glass and crystal out of my china cabinet. I'd open a big green bag and drop the stuff 1 at a time. It felt delicious and I had a goood laugh as each one smashed to bits.
thankyou you are our angel,everything you say is what we have,i am a 55 year wmoan who has lived with this for as long as we remeber,we have MPD also,but thankyou looking at you expalining gives us a friend,someone that understands thankyou
You cover the criterias in a way that makes the signs of BDP easier to identify and understand. I was in a 1 year relationship with a man, who I am now convinced has BPD. So, much of what you say, somewhat, resonates with me... especially, the anger/rage aspect of BDP. Thank you for sharing your profound insights.
I am trying to get it oput there. its hard tro do.. as you can see, to indentify each crietria and explain it as it effects me. I cannot talk for others, but I am quite sure they relate, but have different stories
I can indentify with the anger management not for myself but other family members....also I had similar childhood experiences as you have had and agree on several different points in this vid thanks very very good hope you are doing alright and have a wonderful christmas{{{hugs}}} zoom
I'm not educated enough to answer this question, but the basis of bpd is that there was some kind of neglect, abuse, or no love given in a bpd childs early life, usually consisting of the parents. either one or both.
halfbaked, I really hate when psychs blame things on the moms they don't even know, as if dads don't even matter to children. Your dad can mess you up, too, but it seems some people assume it must be the mom. From what I've read, many people with bpd have been neglected, abused, abandoned or invalidated, etc. as kids, BUT there does seem to be a biological componant and susceptibility, AND I have read that bpd has manifested in some people, even in the apparent absensce of poor parenting.
checkout the video that says thank you stev and joann, u will see a video of my moms dog....its 42 lbs over weight...i have it and i am trying to help it lose weight.....u see how see thrust her mental problems on the dog.
I married a man who thought I was an angel and treated me like a queen. Then, as soon as the vows were taken, I became the "enemy". He left me a few months later... he felt I had been "disloyal".
This is interesting because I dated a guy who seemed to think that I was the best thing, and he treated me very well at first. Then, about two months in, he decided that I was cheating on him because I was busy with work and school. I couldn't convince him otherwise. There were also other strange things like how he told others that he loved me--even before he met me (!!). Sufficed to say, I'm no longer seeing him. I hope that he's doig better now.
My social anxiety has been fed by those same experiences, and I'm trying to rebuild myself by making new, more rewarding experiences. Today, for example, I will be meeting someone who I know a little bit, to work out at a local gym. I hope that this might become a more permanent gym buddy situation, but I'll see.
Well done :-). I'm glad to see that you're doing well. It looks like you got some restful sleep :-).
It's wonderful that you recognize your own anger issues. I have some of my own--from experiences with people in my area to the experiences at a crazy ten-day stay at a psych hospital.
Like LadyBard wrote, anger is a normal emotion. These days, I stop to think about how to express it before I say anything. Don't be afraid of it; use it to help yourself :-).
when i go berserk is when i harm myself, it's like pinching and waking up, i don't even feel the pain
CheshireSeven 2 years ago
This is the part we have to understand better so we don't hurt ourselves anymore
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
Crackwalker- I know I keep posting to the same videos, but something you said really hit home. You said of this anger, "And it can also go in a flash". People talk about hair trigger tempers- going off really quickly- but rarely about suddenly losing the anger. This has happened to me before during arguments. Suddenly, the anger's gone. Sometimes, I'm even thinking, "Why was I so angry?" And there I am in the middle of a fight, suddenly devoid of anger, with the other person riled up. Awkward.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
I hear that.. my son has seen this enough tht now when my rage disappears he looks at me - dead pan expression - and he says, :are you doen now"? and we move on leaving it in the past.. thank god for understanding..
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
crackwalker-
I am sorry you have to deal with this. Rage and anger (when misplaced, too strong, etc.) destroys everything, as I'm sure you know. I like how you said, "When I rage, I hurt." From the outside, when people are often raging or having angry episodes all the time, it seems like they must like it because they keep doing it, seemingly without proper provocation, but that is so far from the truth. It is miserable and it destroys and hurts you, your loved ones, and your relationships.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
Its difficult, because rage is seen as uncontrolled bad manners, society has a very dim view on rage and to have it uncontrolled at times can be quite frightening.
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
I think rage also can be the tool of wanting to exist. Rage can be made into strength. Don't underestimate anger. I thought for a long time that rage and anger was ONLY negative. But remember to question it, remember your positive sides in your personality, no matter how traumatized you are...
Prissie28 2 years ago
rage is not good. anger can be good if used positively.. IMHO lol
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
Sounds very existential.
Lyssenk0 2 years ago
Well I guess the reason I hold down a job is cos I have balls & I'm not going to be dictated to by my doc or shrink, so they can screw there meds. I'll do it my way.
pantyraider230 2 years ago
well don't be a hero
if you need to take a med for a while until you get the symptom under conrtrol don't pass that by. meds can help even if in the short term
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
This is what Marsha Linehan would call willfullness! Be willing! Core mindfulness skills!
Lyssenk0 2 years ago
right on that is right, see my videos on dbt
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
I'm having a rage day today. My doc has decided to taper me off my meds. as she doesn't want me to become reliant on them & thinks that seeing my shrink will be more beneficial. So what was the point in putting me on them?
pantyraider230 2 years ago
they always try meds out on your first., but actually for bpd there are no spec ific drugs.. if you are depressed you get anti-d's if you are anxious you get a benzo.. I prefer to be as drug free as I can. i'm more alert.
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
I hate the rages I get. I've destroyed three wardrobes so far & then I go on a drink bender.
pantyraider230 2 years ago
maybe its tim e to view this from outside the box
thecrackwalker 2 years ago
Me too..:-(
Prissie28 2 years ago
There you go....that's me...all the time. I used to break things all the time.
jaxkipi 3 years ago
When I was angry at the world, I would take all the glass and crystal out of my china cabinet. I'd open a big green bag and drop the stuff 1 at a time. It felt delicious and I had a goood laugh as each one smashed to bits.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Much better to do than cutting yourself. Cutters do the same thing for the same reason. Your method is safer.
jaxkipi 3 years ago
thankyou you are our angel,everything you say is what we have,i am a 55 year wmoan who has lived with this for as long as we remeber,we have MPD also,but thankyou looking at you expalining gives us a friend,someone that understands thankyou
desolit 3 years ago
You are more than welcome. all of you
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
You cover the criterias in a way that makes the signs of BDP easier to identify and understand. I was in a 1 year relationship with a man, who I am now convinced has BPD. So, much of what you say, somewhat, resonates with me... especially, the anger/rage aspect of BDP. Thank you for sharing your profound insights.
1whitebutterfly 3 years ago
I am trying to get it oput there. its hard tro do.. as you can see, to indentify each crietria and explain it as it effects me. I cannot talk for others, but I am quite sure they relate, but have different stories
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
I can indentify with the anger management not for myself but other family members....also I had similar childhood experiences as you have had and agree on several different points in this vid thanks very very good hope you are doing alright and have a wonderful christmas{{{hugs}}} zoom
linsplace 3 years ago
Do you beleive that "issues" w/mothers are almost always at the core of BPD?
halfbakedlaska 3 years ago
I'm not educated enough to answer this question, but the basis of bpd is that there was some kind of neglect, abuse, or no love given in a bpd childs early life, usually consisting of the parents. either one or both.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
halfbaked, I really hate when psychs blame things on the moms they don't even know, as if dads don't even matter to children. Your dad can mess you up, too, but it seems some people assume it must be the mom. From what I've read, many people with bpd have been neglected, abused, abandoned or invalidated, etc. as kids, BUT there does seem to be a biological componant and susceptibility, AND I have read that bpd has manifested in some people, even in the apparent absensce of poor parenting.
LocustCloacina 2 years ago
Yes anger is perfectly natural.. but the intensity of it is where the difference lies
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
checkout the video that says thank you stev and joann, u will see a video of my moms dog....its 42 lbs over weight...i have it and i am trying to help it lose weight.....u see how see thrust her mental problems on the dog.
mcihael
GlimpseAfterGlimpse 3 years ago
Interesting thanks. My fits are like this.
jaxkipi 3 years ago
you're welcome,
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Thanks for what you are doing.
I married a man who thought I was an angel and treated me like a queen. Then, as soon as the vows were taken, I became the "enemy". He left me a few months later... he felt I had been "disloyal".
He only speaks to me occassionally, on his terms.
Thank you for the glimpse I really needed.
halfbakedlaska 3 years ago
I hope I have helped.. thanks for watching
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Hi, HalfBaked--
This is interesting because I dated a guy who seemed to think that I was the best thing, and he treated me very well at first. Then, about two months in, he decided that I was cheating on him because I was busy with work and school. I couldn't convince him otherwise. There were also other strange things like how he told others that he loved me--even before he met me (!!). Sufficed to say, I'm no longer seeing him. I hope that he's doig better now.
Luv4Learning 3 years ago
My social anxiety has been fed by those same experiences, and I'm trying to rebuild myself by making new, more rewarding experiences. Today, for example, I will be meeting someone who I know a little bit, to work out at a local gym. I hope that this might become a more permanent gym buddy situation, but I'll see.
Luv4Learning 3 years ago
yes, friends and exercise are good for the mood, good luck, I hope it works out.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Well done :-). I'm glad to see that you're doing well. It looks like you got some restful sleep :-).
It's wonderful that you recognize your own anger issues. I have some of my own--from experiences with people in my area to the experiences at a crazy ten-day stay at a psych hospital.
Like LadyBard wrote, anger is a normal emotion. These days, I stop to think about how to express it before I say anything. Don't be afraid of it; use it to help yourself :-).
~Hugs~
Luv4Learning 3 years ago
Its not just anger, its rage, way past reason..
thecrackwalker 3 years ago
Good vid. Liked it. Have to watch them in order. I like your simple points. Take care.
HumanTruth0000 3 years ago
Thnaks my friend.. yes watch them in any order, it doesn't make a diff.
thecrackwalker 3 years ago