I know that complements won't fix your problem but an ego boost can't hurt right? From what I can see you've got tons of potential. You're young and pretty. You have your whole life ahead of you and you're a lot more normal than you think you are. Just know that you're judging yourself more harshly than anyone else will. I think that most people are insecure when it comes down to it. Try to focus on all the good things about yourself and not what you need to change. Lots of luck :)
She's the way with everyone that I am with girls I'm attracted to. It's like I'm positive they're not going to like me, so I just automatically make myself detached and unfriendly. Plus it's hard to act normal when my heart is beating 100 times a second...
@RPJunky I don't believe in therapy. I got rid of my social anxiety almost completely I can talk to people now. I did not use medication or any other scam solution. All I used was my own initiative, and decided I AM NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
i had SAD for yrs. the only things that help is neurofeedback. and also combine it with a dr who is half natural and half mainstream. there called integrative dr's
How did the animal shelter thing go? I've been completely free of social anxiety before (not exaggerating) - what you have to do is build yourself a life where your doing things that interest you. Sounds simple right? I think another way of putting it is "to love yourself". Do things that make you feel better
be strong i know its not easy. my mom n sis are outgoing and seem to handle life very well. on the other hand my dad is schizophrenic/bi polar. me n him are pretty much the same i have not been diagnosed yet cause i have not seen a psychiatrist, hoping to soon though cause its so depressing and i cant find anyway to overcome it. i build up way too much inside my thoughts. hope everything is getting better for ya though! :)
I'm exactly like that, too. I'm so unapproachable at school, but with my family and friends I can be myself.But I can never really open myself up to others, I hate having to go up to people and ask questions&can never start conversations. I just don't know what to do.It's hard to smile when I feel this cut off from the rest of my classmates-I feel like I should know them as people I can go up to easily, without hesitation.I'm just a person that others don't want to talk to. It's because I'm shy.
I wondered. Have you come up to someone that you know, someone that live's in your town, a friend or fellow classmates that might have seen one of your videos about social anxiety? I guess that goes for anybody that puts up a video on Youtube. I was just wondering if you knew in the back of your mind that there might be a chance of someone confronting you about one of your video's. And how you reacted. A reply would be appreciated and helpful. I hope your doing better. Take care of yourself
Hi LavendarSkies1, thank you so much for posting these videos. I've only just now found two of them, but just having you opening up to it and describing your experiences is wonderful. I've realized I suffer from SA, and literally can't open up to anyone properly. I just hide it with all these mannerisms and don't think to much and don't emotionally connect with anyone, which sucks. Btw please don't doubt yourself as a friend because you come across as a really friendly person.
much better then everyone on my grade level and because of this i was able to muster enough confidence to talk to people and sell myself to everyone around me and people actually liked me and my grades had improved too. Anyway the point that i am making is to overcome that anxiety, you have to believe that you are the best baddest son of a gun around and everyone is below you. this is a wonderful strategy for HS but when u get to college u have tweak it a bit.
so you want to get noticed and overcome your anxiety, well all you have to do is give into narcissism, you are probably think what why? because it will help you because it did for me, currently now i am 16 year old college freshman, and just by that u can understand that i had social anxiety in high school because i felt people always judged me for being different, so it wasn't until senior year that i gave into narcissism and started feeling better about myself because in my head i was
@FAVELAMUZIK im getting better i mean i got a girlfriend like 2 weeks ago so im trying to get my socail life back on track and it helps you just got to try and i know its hard i still have SAD just not as much
@kurtanglerocks555 yeah ive had it for years and it sucks, i really almost cried watching this girl she went through all the stuff i had to go through in school. godbless
@juice8624 true i am overcoming it at my aunbts wedding i spoke to one of my aunts friends and made a friend i was suprised and really happy i actully confident and happy but thats only one day
but when i walk down the street i have my head down and my stepdad thinks im depressed he is trying his best to help me apprently when i walk down the street my sis and my family ask me why im giving people evils eyes when i dont actully reaslise im doing it i just get nervous and my eyes twitch =(
@kurtanglerocks555 yeah i know the eyes thing, people think im mad all the time lol. Oh well we will get past it man, im on prozac and its helping..maybe try this?
@juice8624 well it is making me mad a bit i lash out sometimes but thats because i think im coming down with depression =( i just want to stop having SAD
Your loverly, I realy wish this disorder did not exist for anyone especially when I see people like you suffering it as it feels like it robs you in some sense. For me I've tried tackling it head on like being out with people more etc but it still exists. i'd like to know one year on about the animal shelter is going and how your feeling right now. Chris
If your in college, there will be a administrative mental health department which may help you with free therapy or counseling. I hope things get better for you. Best of luck.
We cannot, and should not, validate our self worth on what others may think of us. It's a hard mental cycle to break, but we must for our own peace of mind and happiness.
I actually fee more awkward if the person is nice to me, or friendly and chatty. I feel more comfortabe when people are tough on my (teachers for example) I like it when people are moody or sad because i feel ike i am in more control or like i have nothing to lose
@hello10577 I noticed that... I mean, if you meet someone who has that same "worried about offending you" thing that you have going on, it's like the two resonate together and make it worse! And you're probably not the only one who has experienced feeling less intimidated when you're around someone who is even more vulnerable than you are. I think this is because you are not dealing with someone that even someone like you can be of help to. Being helpful gets one out of one's self.
Try to look into more spiritual development. Have you tried yoga, meditation or mental exercises? Might seem unorthodox now, but people really are actors on a stage and that doesn't change, so personal development definitely leads to more fulfilled day to day living
You have to be content with the way you are. If you aren't content with the way you are, and you try to be natural, it will be fake, and you just make it worse. One has to dare to be content with, say, having nothing to say at the moment, and be content with, how can I say this... content with having your thoughts. Also, unlearn everything you learned in school. School socializes people to seek out and have contempt for weakness in others. I have spoken.
Anyway, I can really relate to being misunderstood with regard to my mood and level of friendliness. I'm actually really easy to approach and am a great conversationalist one on one, even with strangers. But I don't approach people well at all. This is a problem when you're a guy and guys are supposed to be the one to approach the girl...yikes...Nothing scarier than approaching an attractive female. I think the bottom line is caring too much about what people think.
I'ts hard, these irrational thoughts consume and take over my ability to develop as a character and even in simple daily tasks, for me, everything is a struggle. constant racing thoughts block out my ability to function properly, It's definitely hard to watch your friends and people around you interact and connect with other people so easily and see the genuine happiness that people get out of it, but i think once you overcome your troubles you will be grateful and wiser because of it :D:D
You might find out that it is easier to be "someone in the room" rather than being in the corner, on the edge of your seat ready to bail out as we tend to do. I was so surprised when I decided to sit in the middle of the classroom and talk to the people around and ask the professors questions. You seem to have such a magnetic personality that the people around you will accept you right away and you will get a sense of belonging.
You know what's weird? I think I gave myself social anxiety. I was the man in high school; I was friends with everyone. I smoked weed every single day, as much as I could, in 11th and 12th grade, and had a job. I lost my job about a year ago and I'm almost scared to go out and look. I started having panic attacks where I just tremble; not so much lose breath. I'm just finding myself fading away and I think it's from drugs.
You mentioned trying to smile but you seem like you smile a lot naturally. You're lucky if that's the case. I consciously try and smile a lot so I don't come off as "too serious". Not to sound like an asshole but I really resent having to do stuff like that.
hello, i just wanted to say i really identify with you, it really helps so thankyou for your shares. i find it really hard to be friendly around people, i have this do not come and talk to me look and i cant shake this off.the more anxious i am the more i act unapproachable. It like i want to let people know im friendly but i cant, this can feel quite isolating, but to powerful to change. my biggest thing is if someone talks to me in a social situation i look like a rabbit in lights ,
I am like you. I think others' are judging me. I put far too much importance on what others' think of me and that rules my life. My responses to conversations come out all wrong. I am aware constantly when I'm conversing of my body language. Everything I ever say and do is wrong. I'm so awkward around people. It takes years for me to be totally myself around people. I can't disagree with others' opinions face to face for fear of confrontation. Huge fear of being ridiculed. Love and peace <3 xx
@KittiKatti1 just DO IT. best advice i can give on overcoming sa... exposing yourself and accepting yourself is the first step to growing through any problem
You're videos are great. Especially for those of us who can relate to you. I'm at college and it's better than high school because you don't have interact with others. The downside is that it's easier to be more introverted and you don't push yourself. You're very good looking by the way, and no I'm not a creep lol
i think its all in yur head sweet heart hav you ever told anybody exactly how you feel like staight up about yur social anxiety in person? i hav! i think yur just the sweetest thing!
I act unfriendly too. I think it's just your personality, when it comes to your likes and dislikes. If someone that's overly energetic and just over the top...it's kind of like a road block. You want to be able to talk to them, but it's hard when conservative, quiet, and more mature. I think it's just the fact that you are different, and your interests are way beyond your school mates'. You're just different. :)
My anxiety makes me tense up, and I have an almost omnipresent stonewall face which pretty much reads: "Serial killer, stay the fuck away!" Looking like I am going to stab someone at any minute really works negatively for me, especially since I crave friendship and social interaction ( despite my instinctive fear of it).
Hey LavendarSkies1, I have SA too and I like the way you talk about it. You are handling it very mature. When I was your age I closed my eyes for it. I started to avoid situations and now I'm 26 and its worse. Please don't do the same as I did and push yourself to do it anyway. You seem like a great person to talk to and not boring at all when you are not anxious. I wish in the future you will be able to be that person in every situation. Keep fighting!
just work on being comfortable in your own skin. once you're comfortable with yourself and don't care what others think, you'd be amazed how much easier it is to talk to people :)
I am tempted to tell you how smart ,pretty and well spoken you are , but I know it won't be helpful - so I won't :)
I get a sense that you might be dealing with a mild form of Aspergers. Looking mad, eye contact difficulty, difficulty with body language and just processing communication in general are very typical traits. Keep up the good work ,I think you are on the right track. Don't beat yourself up for your past mistakes and try to make a conscience effort to smile more - it's beautiful
I hadn't thought of this before but I kind of have the same problem I think. I want to be friendly and be able to talk to people in class but I'm nervous they won't like me or I'll say the wrong thing. So if they don't talk to me I think it's because they can tell that I'm nervous and therefore think I'm weird, but really it's probably just because I'm coming across as unfriendly. By being so quiet they probably think I'm just into myself or don't care about making friends, which isn't true.
You know, everyone has anxiety on some level. I bet a lot of people are a little intimidated by you (at least at first) because you are pretty. They might think you are stuck up, or something like that. Looking back on my high school days (worst social anxiety point in my life so far), I think people were kind of afraid to talk to me. Like something bad would come from it.
@LavendarSkies1 the looking "mad" or "do not disturb sign" look is pretty common with this. It is how people look when they are stressed out with anxiety.
When you are anxious, how do you think you will look? I will tell you .... mad (or scared/tense)
I think your family is really cool for pointing out their observation of that to you. I am serious. That helps a lot to know how you are coming across, so you know what to work on. Ask them anything else they notice.
That is exactly how I feel. I just started graduate school yesterday and I feel like everybody else is conversing so much and know each other very well. I feel so alone when I'm on campus. Each of my classes have like 50% undergrad students & 50% grad students; so many of them are new to the surroundings like me, but they have no problem meeting new people & making new friends & stuff. I wish I could have been more outgoing like them. I have the same social problems as you, girl. BTW Im a dude.
I can relate to this SO much! Thank you very much for making this. I'm just starting back at school and it's hard to watch other people socializing and being friendly with each other. I want so much to be approachable and to seem like a likable person, but I always revert back to my distant avoidant self. I refuse to give up though :)
I sincerely hope, for both you and the animals at the shelter, you get to volunteer there. :) I'm very keen on animal welfare myself, so hearing that really put a smile on my face. Glad to hear you're doing well.
You want to be a person in the room that isn't hiding within it? I know the feeling; I was like that for years, all the way through middle school and up into high school. That actually changed a lot when I started singing and playing the drums.
Some people will judge you, some people will offend you, but you cannot let that knowledge ruin the opportunity to meet people that are great for you :)
Sounds like a great plan - you are looking very friendly and approachable in your all your videos, you also seems like interesting person with a funny personality - I'm sure if you could transfer this "attitude" into real life, the world would be a really friendly place for you - I also struggle to get into the right state of mind - just trying to discharge/remove focus from the unhelpful thoughts and focus on the helpful - nice vid. :)
I'm really nervous about school too cause of my social anxiety disorder. I really know EXACTLY how you feel. Thank you so much for making these videos they make me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way. Good job on starting to volunteer :) that's great. I'm glad one of us is making progress :p Please inbox me if you get the chance
I think you're an old soul, and very sensitive. It's tough being your age with those qualities. I think as you get older, others in your age group will catch up to your level of maturity and you'll feel more comfortable around them. I know it's tough, and that your feeling cheated out of an ideal, carefree youth, but you have so much to offer nonetheless. I would love to count you among my friends.
@gramblor1 This is precisely how I feel about my own predicament. Your words offered a tremendous amount of self-reassurance. Thank you for having a perceptive mind.
Yay! A video!! I look Mad all the time too. Tbh, sometimes I pretend to be upset just so people won't approach me. I think I'm going to try & be more approachable as well. It's an easy goal and doesn't seem to overwhelming. Thanks.
Since I got my job I have gradually become more approachable. Because when I am at work I have to help customers if they need it, so I make eye contact and smile, and sometimes say hi to make sure they feel welcome to ask something. That practice helps me in other situations. I think its cool that you are going to work at an animal shelter, I love animals.
Melissa. Great to see you back. Removing the "Do not Disturb sign" seems like a great way to challenge yourself during the comming school year. Though just remember that if you have some failures at first. This does not mean that the project was mistaken. Also since you are now working at an animal shelter. Could you please get Pandas to have sexual intercourse? Or what ever you young people call it now a days. Because they will not do it when I tell them & I have been screeming pretty loudly
Hey great to see a new video! Good luck this school year. If you act the way you do in your videos in real life you should be just fine. :) It is hard sometimes though because the way you feel inside, matches the way you look on the outside...so it stands to reason that in order to be more approachable, you need to feel calm on the inside first. You are a personable girl...just try to feel comfortable in the classroom. It is the anxiety that intimidates people and distorts our personality.
Welcome back :) Goodluck with the plan. Its great to see you trying to better yourself, even if it is hard and I really do know how hard this is for you.
lately i've noticed that when i walk around in public i always have that angry, furrowed brow look going on, so i've been trying to focus on loosening up my face so i look more relaxed and approachable. i don't think anyones going to want to strike up convo with me if i looked pissed off hah. your really cute, good luck with school in the fall, it's coming up super quickly
Great to see a new vid. Your videos make a lot of sense, and I can always relate to what you have to say. Ive gotten the same comments from people, like im upset about something. With social anxiety, we tend to be standoffish which makes it even harder to be sociable. And then we wonder why we are so alone at times. Its a big negative circle that feeds into itself. All we can do is break the chain. Stay strong, keep posting. Hope to see more vids from you in the future.
I know that complements won't fix your problem but an ego boost can't hurt right? From what I can see you've got tons of potential. You're young and pretty. You have your whole life ahead of you and you're a lot more normal than you think you are. Just know that you're judging yourself more harshly than anyone else will. I think that most people are insecure when it comes down to it. Try to focus on all the good things about yourself and not what you need to change. Lots of luck :)
Carbonatedjello 3 weeks ago
She's the way with everyone that I am with girls I'm attracted to. It's like I'm positive they're not going to like me, so I just automatically make myself detached and unfriendly. Plus it's hard to act normal when my heart is beating 100 times a second...
Symphonious7 3 weeks ago
NEUROTHERAPY for all with this social phobia plz look into it
RPJunky 4 weeks ago
@RPJunky I don't believe in therapy. I got rid of my social anxiety almost completely I can talk to people now. I did not use medication or any other scam solution. All I used was my own initiative, and decided I AM NOT GOING TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE.
It worked.
XxOneTrueKillxX 3 weeks ago
i had SAD for yrs. the only things that help is neurofeedback. and also combine it with a dr who is half natural and half mainstream. there called integrative dr's
RPJunky 4 weeks ago
linda !!!
XXXXxxDougxx 1 month ago
How did the animal shelter thing go? I've been completely free of social anxiety before (not exaggerating) - what you have to do is build yourself a life where your doing things that interest you. Sounds simple right? I think another way of putting it is "to love yourself". Do things that make you feel better
himynameisbede 1 month ago
be strong i know its not easy. my mom n sis are outgoing and seem to handle life very well. on the other hand my dad is schizophrenic/bi polar. me n him are pretty much the same i have not been diagnosed yet cause i have not seen a psychiatrist, hoping to soon though cause its so depressing and i cant find anyway to overcome it. i build up way too much inside my thoughts. hope everything is getting better for ya though! :)
musicforlife2112 1 month ago
i probably wouldnt approach you in any way but a friendly one
you are too hot for me
i cant see very well in this video but it appears that you have wonderful eyes too
diewithyouagain 1 month ago
I can totally relate to how people perceive me. I've worked on being more approachable and definitely need to keep at it.
longlivethekingisded 2 months ago in playlist Watch Later
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maximerat 2 months ago
I'm exactly like that, too. I'm so unapproachable at school, but with my family and friends I can be myself.But I can never really open myself up to others, I hate having to go up to people and ask questions&can never start conversations. I just don't know what to do.It's hard to smile when I feel this cut off from the rest of my classmates-I feel like I should know them as people I can go up to easily, without hesitation.I'm just a person that others don't want to talk to. It's because I'm shy.
ChrissyLuffsYooh 3 months ago
I wondered. Have you come up to someone that you know, someone that live's in your town, a friend or fellow classmates that might have seen one of your videos about social anxiety? I guess that goes for anybody that puts up a video on Youtube. I was just wondering if you knew in the back of your mind that there might be a chance of someone confronting you about one of your video's. And how you reacted. A reply would be appreciated and helpful. I hope your doing better. Take care of yourself
libraryquiet 5 months ago 12
Hi LavendarSkies1, thank you so much for posting these videos. I've only just now found two of them, but just having you opening up to it and describing your experiences is wonderful. I've realized I suffer from SA, and literally can't open up to anyone properly. I just hide it with all these mannerisms and don't think to much and don't emotionally connect with anyone, which sucks. Btw please don't doubt yourself as a friend because you come across as a really friendly person.
milescend 5 months ago
much better then everyone on my grade level and because of this i was able to muster enough confidence to talk to people and sell myself to everyone around me and people actually liked me and my grades had improved too. Anyway the point that i am making is to overcome that anxiety, you have to believe that you are the best baddest son of a gun around and everyone is below you. this is a wonderful strategy for HS but when u get to college u have tweak it a bit.
xIMORTALITYxx 5 months ago
so you want to get noticed and overcome your anxiety, well all you have to do is give into narcissism, you are probably think what why? because it will help you because it did for me, currently now i am 16 year old college freshman, and just by that u can understand that i had social anxiety in high school because i felt people always judged me for being different, so it wasn't until senior year that i gave into narcissism and started feeling better about myself because in my head i was
xIMORTALITYxx 5 months ago
It's hard to stay unnoticed when you look this beautiful. Best of luck to you!
hytlerson 5 months ago
@FAVELAMUZIK im getting better i mean i got a girlfriend like 2 weeks ago so im trying to get my socail life back on track and it helps you just got to try and i know its hard i still have SAD just not as much
kurtanglerocks555 5 months ago
hot red head
I would talk to you.
alehax27 6 months ago
@kurtanglerocks555 yeah ive had it for years and it sucks, i really almost cried watching this girl she went through all the stuff i had to go through in school. godbless
juice8624 6 months ago
@juice8624 true i am overcoming it at my aunbts wedding i spoke to one of my aunts friends and made a friend i was suprised and really happy i actully confident and happy but thats only one day
but when i walk down the street i have my head down and my stepdad thinks im depressed he is trying his best to help me apprently when i walk down the street my sis and my family ask me why im giving people evils eyes when i dont actully reaslise im doing it i just get nervous and my eyes twitch =(
kurtanglerocks555 6 months ago
@kurtanglerocks555 yeah i know the eyes thing, people think im mad all the time lol. Oh well we will get past it man, im on prozac and its helping..maybe try this?
juice8624 6 months ago
@juice8624 well it is making me mad a bit i lash out sometimes but thats because i think im coming down with depression =( i just want to stop having SAD
kurtanglerocks555 6 months ago
Your loverly, I realy wish this disorder did not exist for anyone especially when I see people like you suffering it as it feels like it robs you in some sense. For me I've tried tackling it head on like being out with people more etc but it still exists. i'd like to know one year on about the animal shelter is going and how your feeling right now. Chris
chrislegend06 6 months ago
hey you are really really beautiful!:)
violinist881 6 months ago
If your in college, there will be a administrative mental health department which may help you with free therapy or counseling. I hope things get better for you. Best of luck.
rumhead666 7 months ago
We cannot, and should not, validate our self worth on what others may think of us. It's a hard mental cycle to break, but we must for our own peace of mind and happiness.
TempleOfInanna2 7 months ago
Can anyone tell me if this is weird?
I actually fee more awkward if the person is nice to me, or friendly and chatty. I feel more comfortabe when people are tough on my (teachers for example) I like it when people are moody or sad because i feel ike i am in more control or like i have nothing to lose
hello10577 7 months ago
@hello10577 I noticed that... I mean, if you meet someone who has that same "worried about offending you" thing that you have going on, it's like the two resonate together and make it worse! And you're probably not the only one who has experienced feeling less intimidated when you're around someone who is even more vulnerable than you are. I think this is because you are not dealing with someone that even someone like you can be of help to. Being helpful gets one out of one's self.
ion010101 7 months ago
@ion010101 That's "you are *now* dealing..." sorry.
ion010101 7 months ago
I'm a lot less anxious since doing exercises that improve working memory. But that's just me. Everyone's different.
ion010101 7 months ago
Try to look into more spiritual development. Have you tried yoga, meditation or mental exercises? Might seem unorthodox now, but people really are actors on a stage and that doesn't change, so personal development definitely leads to more fulfilled day to day living
crudhousefull 7 months ago
You look awesome!
rohankala10 8 months ago
You have to be content with the way you are. If you aren't content with the way you are, and you try to be natural, it will be fake, and you just make it worse. One has to dare to be content with, say, having nothing to say at the moment, and be content with, how can I say this... content with having your thoughts. Also, unlearn everything you learned in school. School socializes people to seek out and have contempt for weakness in others. I have spoken.
ion010101 8 months ago
its hard to interact with people i understand, once u start getting ur self out there it feels a lot better because u are not bottling it up.
MrFernando9414 8 months ago
thank you for sharing this video with us , you made my day :)
danceisfun43 8 months ago
try not to moniter your self , just go with the flow, let it go , you arehot girl (*_*)
TheGorran 9 months ago
so do you still got the social anxiety?? i know how you feel that way but it goes away with time trust me.
oletreece 10 months ago
Just try have all of those characteristics you have and being a less than attractive male like myself. Ya..forever alone.
over9000anals 11 months ago
@over9000anals having*
over9000anals 11 months ago
You are so gorgeous...wow.
Anyway, I can really relate to being misunderstood with regard to my mood and level of friendliness. I'm actually really easy to approach and am a great conversationalist one on one, even with strangers. But I don't approach people well at all. This is a problem when you're a guy and guys are supposed to be the one to approach the girl...yikes...Nothing scarier than approaching an attractive female. I think the bottom line is caring too much about what people think.
fotwunny 1 year ago
You are cute :)
vijaysoni 1 year ago
I would love to know where your sad comes from. you're so beautiful and have the lovliest smile and on video seem very approachable
danndan6 1 year ago
how old are u?
pinkorangesoda 1 year ago
I'ts hard, these irrational thoughts consume and take over my ability to develop as a character and even in simple daily tasks, for me, everything is a struggle. constant racing thoughts block out my ability to function properly, It's definitely hard to watch your friends and people around you interact and connect with other people so easily and see the genuine happiness that people get out of it, but i think once you overcome your troubles you will be grateful and wiser because of it :D:D
z3ak999 1 year ago
You might find out that it is easier to be "someone in the room" rather than being in the corner, on the edge of your seat ready to bail out as we tend to do. I was so surprised when I decided to sit in the middle of the classroom and talk to the people around and ask the professors questions. You seem to have such a magnetic personality that the people around you will accept you right away and you will get a sense of belonging.
rosevalley0110 1 year ago
You know what's weird? I think I gave myself social anxiety. I was the man in high school; I was friends with everyone. I smoked weed every single day, as much as I could, in 11th and 12th grade, and had a job. I lost my job about a year ago and I'm almost scared to go out and look. I started having panic attacks where I just tremble; not so much lose breath. I'm just finding myself fading away and I think it's from drugs.
thedon4203333333 1 year ago
You mentioned trying to smile but you seem like you smile a lot naturally. You're lucky if that's the case. I consciously try and smile a lot so I don't come off as "too serious". Not to sound like an asshole but I really resent having to do stuff like that.
TdrdenCO11 1 year ago
I wish I could meet you in person, we have so much in common.
Simstar258 1 year ago
Please do more videos, it's nice to see/hear I'm not alone in this, thank you for that :)
MusicAdd4ever 1 year ago
your hot
w186mo214 1 year ago 26
@w186mo214 you're*
jollyross 3 weeks ago
i freez when people talk to me, and completely stop taking in what there saying, and focus on how silly i must look because im freezing with fear .
thanks so much for your talks they really really help keep it up
paul
paulcolly2000 1 year ago
hello, i just wanted to say i really identify with you, it really helps so thankyou for your shares. i find it really hard to be friendly around people, i have this do not come and talk to me look and i cant shake this off.the more anxious i am the more i act unapproachable. It like i want to let people know im friendly but i cant, this can feel quite isolating, but to powerful to change. my biggest thing is if someone talks to me in a social situation i look like a rabbit in lights ,
paulcolly2000 1 year ago
Story of my life... =(.
Naturerocks411 1 year ago
I am like you. I think others' are judging me. I put far too much importance on what others' think of me and that rules my life. My responses to conversations come out all wrong. I am aware constantly when I'm conversing of my body language. Everything I ever say and do is wrong. I'm so awkward around people. It takes years for me to be totally myself around people. I can't disagree with others' opinions face to face for fear of confrontation. Huge fear of being ridiculed. Love and peace <3 xx
MrsFooFoo 1 year ago
hey im kinda thinking of making an sa vid:) u got any tips? suggestions? im pretty nervous lol
KittiKatti1 1 year ago
@KittiKatti1 just DO IT. best advice i can give on overcoming sa... exposing yourself and accepting yourself is the first step to growing through any problem
MrOldnhorny 1 year ago
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adam18253 1 year ago
You're admirable, and I'd be very grateful for a friend like you.
newrev9er 1 year ago
I just realized you look and sound like Jenna Fischer haha. That's very awesome.
mavs2147 1 year ago
You're videos are great. Especially for those of us who can relate to you. I'm at college and it's better than high school because you don't have interact with others. The downside is that it's easier to be more introverted and you don't push yourself. You're very good looking by the way, and no I'm not a creep lol
mavs2147 1 year ago
I am so much like you.Being a teenager with social anxiety can be so tough and
i feel your pain.I also want to say that I respect you so much for making these videos,you are so much braver than myself.
McCOZE 1 year ago
It's nice to know Im not the only one. Tell us how it works out
watdafuc061 1 year ago
i think its all in yur head sweet heart hav you ever told anybody exactly how you feel like staight up about yur social anxiety in person? i hav! i think yur just the sweetest thing!
xxLilJXxX 1 year ago
I act unfriendly too. I think it's just your personality, when it comes to your likes and dislikes. If someone that's overly energetic and just over the top...it's kind of like a road block. You want to be able to talk to them, but it's hard when conservative, quiet, and more mature. I think it's just the fact that you are different, and your interests are way beyond your school mates'. You're just different. :)
KittyzKatterz 1 year ago
My anxiety makes me tense up, and I have an almost omnipresent stonewall face which pretty much reads: "Serial killer, stay the fuck away!" Looking like I am going to stab someone at any minute really works negatively for me, especially since I crave friendship and social interaction ( despite my instinctive fear of it).
TrancedNRG 1 year ago
Hey LavendarSkies1, I have SA too and I like the way you talk about it. You are handling it very mature. When I was your age I closed my eyes for it. I started to avoid situations and now I'm 26 and its worse. Please don't do the same as I did and push yourself to do it anyway. You seem like a great person to talk to and not boring at all when you are not anxious. I wish in the future you will be able to be that person in every situation. Keep fighting!
Special1st 1 year ago
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xxLilJXxX 1 year ago
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xxLilJXxX 1 year ago
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xxLilJXxX 1 year ago
just work on being comfortable in your own skin. once you're comfortable with yourself and don't care what others think, you'd be amazed how much easier it is to talk to people :)
xosammyj09 1 year ago
I am tempted to tell you how smart ,pretty and well spoken you are , but I know it won't be helpful - so I won't :)
I get a sense that you might be dealing with a mild form of Aspergers. Looking mad, eye contact difficulty, difficulty with body language and just processing communication in general are very typical traits. Keep up the good work ,I think you are on the right track. Don't beat yourself up for your past mistakes and try to make a conscience effort to smile more - it's beautiful
1LoneDesperado 1 year ago
I hadn't thought of this before but I kind of have the same problem I think. I want to be friendly and be able to talk to people in class but I'm nervous they won't like me or I'll say the wrong thing. So if they don't talk to me I think it's because they can tell that I'm nervous and therefore think I'm weird, but really it's probably just because I'm coming across as unfriendly. By being so quiet they probably think I'm just into myself or don't care about making friends, which isn't true.
psychboi83 1 year ago
You know, everyone has anxiety on some level. I bet a lot of people are a little intimidated by you (at least at first) because you are pretty. They might think you are stuck up, or something like that. Looking back on my high school days (worst social anxiety point in my life so far), I think people were kind of afraid to talk to me. Like something bad would come from it.
ps3fan420 1 year ago
are your parents and sister outgoing?
wadlow811 1 year ago
@wadlow811 My sister is. My dad can be outgoing when he wants to be but it's pretty much an act with him. And my mom is introverted like me.
LavendarSkies1 1 year ago
@LavendarSkies1 the looking "mad" or "do not disturb sign" look is pretty common with this. It is how people look when they are stressed out with anxiety.
When you are anxious, how do you think you will look? I will tell you .... mad (or scared/tense)
I think your family is really cool for pointing out their observation of that to you. I am serious. That helps a lot to know how you are coming across, so you know what to work on. Ask them anything else they notice.
wadlow811 1 year ago
That is exactly how I feel. I just started graduate school yesterday and I feel like everybody else is conversing so much and know each other very well. I feel so alone when I'm on campus. Each of my classes have like 50% undergrad students & 50% grad students; so many of them are new to the surroundings like me, but they have no problem meeting new people & making new friends & stuff. I wish I could have been more outgoing like them. I have the same social problems as you, girl. BTW Im a dude.
TheParentsBART 1 year ago
I can relate to this SO much! Thank you very much for making this. I'm just starting back at school and it's hard to watch other people socializing and being friendly with each other. I want so much to be approachable and to seem like a likable person, but I always revert back to my distant avoidant self. I refuse to give up though :)
laurelisavantgarde 1 year ago
19 years later
omaridotcom 1 year ago
I sincerely hope, for both you and the animals at the shelter, you get to volunteer there. :) I'm very keen on animal welfare myself, so hearing that really put a smile on my face. Glad to hear you're doing well.
Hiroshiyo 1 year ago
yeah im always suspicious too and its annoying cause i know many people like me
JohnsJams 1 year ago
Best wishes! You are great because you can talk so clearly about SA and express yourself in ways I only wish I could.
kris1991 1 year ago
You look great.Best Wishes with school.
cosmiverse 1 year ago
good progress, and great chat the otherday
youre Australian friend Daniel
danielholden01 1 year ago
You want to be a person in the room that isn't hiding within it? I know the feeling; I was like that for years, all the way through middle school and up into high school. That actually changed a lot when I started singing and playing the drums.
Some people will judge you, some people will offend you, but you cannot let that knowledge ruin the opportunity to meet people that are great for you :)
steffenml 1 year ago 13
Sounds like a great plan - you are looking very friendly and approachable in your all your videos, you also seems like interesting person with a funny personality - I'm sure if you could transfer this "attitude" into real life, the world would be a really friendly place for you - I also struggle to get into the right state of mind - just trying to discharge/remove focus from the unhelpful thoughts and focus on the helpful - nice vid. :)
BluesyMagus 1 year ago
I'm really nervous about school too cause of my social anxiety disorder. I really know EXACTLY how you feel. Thank you so much for making these videos they make me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way. Good job on starting to volunteer :) that's great. I'm glad one of us is making progress :p Please inbox me if you get the chance
koRnrebel29 1 year ago
I think you're an old soul, and very sensitive. It's tough being your age with those qualities. I think as you get older, others in your age group will catch up to your level of maturity and you'll feel more comfortable around them. I know it's tough, and that your feeling cheated out of an ideal, carefree youth, but you have so much to offer nonetheless. I would love to count you among my friends.
gramblor1 1 year ago 25
@gramblor1 This is precisely how I feel about my own predicament. Your words offered a tremendous amount of self-reassurance. Thank you for having a perceptive mind.
rabadooda 1 year ago
@gramblor1 That's what I was told for literally years. It's true that college feels more at home, but it doesn't get any easier socially. Not at all.
Darkozl 8 months ago
Yay! A video!! I look Mad all the time too. Tbh, sometimes I pretend to be upset just so people won't approach me. I think I'm going to try & be more approachable as well. It's an easy goal and doesn't seem to overwhelming. Thanks.
LethalLemonLime 1 year ago
finally! an update.. I didn't even know I subbed you. But yeah, you have to make videos more often .
boxiness 1 year ago
Since I got my job I have gradually become more approachable. Because when I am at work I have to help customers if they need it, so I make eye contact and smile, and sometimes say hi to make sure they feel welcome to ask something. That practice helps me in other situations. I think its cool that you are going to work at an animal shelter, I love animals.
ps3fan420 1 year ago
I like you and accept you! Stay strong, you're doing good xx
bloodbuddy7 1 year ago
Melissa. Great to see you back. Removing the "Do not Disturb sign" seems like a great way to challenge yourself during the comming school year. Though just remember that if you have some failures at first. This does not mean that the project was mistaken. Also since you are now working at an animal shelter. Could you please get Pandas to have sexual intercourse? Or what ever you young people call it now a days. Because they will not do it when I tell them & I have been screeming pretty loudly
zydilak 1 year ago
Nice to see new vid from you! I'm the same way!
ChrissyQlikesYOU 1 year ago
heyy nice to see you back! you know im here to listen whenever you wanna get something off your chest.
ccrespin246775 1 year ago
Do you trust yourself?
Puddy88 1 year ago
Hey great to see a new video! Good luck this school year. If you act the way you do in your videos in real life you should be just fine. :) It is hard sometimes though because the way you feel inside, matches the way you look on the outside...so it stands to reason that in order to be more approachable, you need to feel calm on the inside first. You are a personable girl...just try to feel comfortable in the classroom. It is the anxiety that intimidates people and distorts our personality.
andymu86 1 year ago
But when you control those feelings and let your personality shine through...well you'll do excellently. Best of luck this semester. :)
andymu86 1 year ago
Welcome back :) Goodluck with the plan. Its great to see you trying to better yourself, even if it is hard and I really do know how hard this is for you.
Anyway, goodluck :)
BravoUnknown 1 year ago
lately i've noticed that when i walk around in public i always have that angry, furrowed brow look going on, so i've been trying to focus on loosening up my face so i look more relaxed and approachable. i don't think anyones going to want to strike up convo with me if i looked pissed off hah. your really cute, good luck with school in the fall, it's coming up super quickly
havingaSADday 1 year ago
Great to see a new vid. Your videos make a lot of sense, and I can always relate to what you have to say. Ive gotten the same comments from people, like im upset about something. With social anxiety, we tend to be standoffish which makes it even harder to be sociable. And then we wonder why we are so alone at times. Its a big negative circle that feeds into itself. All we can do is break the chain. Stay strong, keep posting. Hope to see more vids from you in the future.
ClockworkSublime 1 year ago
Hey welcome back! I accept you. ~Israel
WeAllJuggleKnives 1 year ago