Added: 4 years ago
From: baristaboy2
Views: 286,447
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  • For anyone who doesn't realise, this is aussie humour. Fucking funny dude

  • Awesome video! You actually had me for a while, but when I seen the second guy drinking and nodding his approval I realized this a joke. A dangerous dangerous joke.

  • Your dumb, my friend who is a professional barista showed me how to make lattes with my stream wand and espresso maker and you are a complete retard. Shots only take 30 our so seconds and your creama is white and it should be brown. Oh but thats right, you tamp it at an uneven 45° angle. Dumbass

  • Do everything exactly opposite than he says and you'll have the perfect espresso! Brilliant ! :D

  • Delete yourself from the internet.

  • Gross

  • lmao!! u made my day buddy, can't stop laughing =D

  • to the idiot that thinks that the crema a is the sweetest parts of an espresso shot, darling you need to go back to coffee college because the sweet spot of an espresso shot would be roughly the middle hence why most commercial grade units have a 15 second shot button...

  • this guy is absolutely crazy and has no idea what he is talking about I have been ccertified in a espresso making and equipment maintenance this guy is retarded don't listen to him

  • Hilarious! How does he keep from laughing? ;o)

  • hahaha fantastic video! This made me realize what a wast of time it is to be searching the web for coffea making. We should all get a life. Wannabes Baristas as we are!

  • Honest a God!!! Sometimes a wonder what people will believe. Mildly amusing though.

  • Thanks my espresso r amazing now (:

  • with the finger...xaaax

  • hahaha!! so good! the best part is when the yellowish soup comes flushing out of the mashine ;)

  • BAHAHAHAHAHA. This is a joke right?

  • Almost convincing. ;)

  • I LOVE the baristas that are taking this seriously.

  • well done.....nice parody........

  • Coffee is science!

  • This guy is really funny!!!

  • Tastes great with Bangers and Mashed !

  • This is a parody, he's just joking.....right?!

  • 3:40 is the fucken best!!!

  • "all the coffee oils are comin out..." Um, that's actually water. That "Dark, disgusting taste" you speak of is actually what espresso is supposed to be. Dark, CONCENTRATED coffee. The only "sweet" portion of an espresso shot is the crema at the top. A 10 year old makes a better barista, wow.

  • @ItchiroCannotDie I think you missed the joke...

  • trolololololololol

  • Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. PLEASE please tell me this is a joke. There's not much more i can say than that......

  • I hear Ice Cream is great in the oven too.

  • You complete tosser..... what a waste of bandwidth

  • This guy is a friggin idiot. 

  • Maybe I am wrong...

    THis is a cimbali Junior? The grinder I know, I've got the same, it is a Graef 80. THe cheapest espresso mill on the market, but with a got quality. The rest is a joke

  • you suck...

  • I trollolololed. I just saw this featured in crema magazine -_-

  • LOL I hope NOBODY is listening to anything this guy says.  What a bunch of crap. If you want watery, nasty shots, do what he says and freeze your portafilter and over extract your shot til it comes out as water. I really hope this was a spoof because this is really sad!

  • You forgot the most important step. Every good joe jockey knows that you need to disable the heating element in your $10,000 dollar espresso machine and use ice cold vinegar for the extraction! Also, never, I repeat, NEVER grind the beans! Grinding damages the coffee Chi. The perfect espresso is like homeopathy. Less is better!

    What a noob!

  • Want good coffee!! do what i do! I am South American I supply the beans then my Italian neighbor makes the coffee. Job done!

  • ahh, yes. The head nod must mean it was good.

    pssh, what a load of crap!

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  • "You should be able to see through the glass to the other side". I concur - all this opaque, black stuff that's been produced over the years has been so very, very wrong. It was time somebody stood up and said so, even if it means taking flak.

  • very funny

  • Comment removed

  • LOL

  • Classic!!! I love the way you have the coffee gushing over the side of the cup !! hilarious. Very droll.

  • biggest load of bullshit ever!!

  • fucking hell people really will try and tell you anything, espresso or in italian caffe as it's called is a simple morning drink that is there to not only taste good but also to wake you up, simple being the operative word there. grind beans, put ground coffee straight into moka pot or whatever your using, wait for it to come through drink done how easy was that none of this science bullshite

  • Joker

    

  • Joker

    

  • you are talkin too much, really !!

  • you really make a science of

    brewin a nice espresso...

    it is so easy...!!

    grinded coffee, hot water and fast pulling, that is all !!

    Really i swear!

    :-)

  • @WetSkin6

    u are right !! even the cam-man is laughin 40somethin.... lol

  • the thumbnail looked like a sad face :(

  • That "espresso" looked like diarrhea. Horrible horrible technique that he's presenting here.

  • Dogs don't know it's not bacon!!

  • @aciera

    I guess there are much more things you don't know about italians

  • LOL! if you listen at 0:45 you can hear the cameraman laugh before he has to cut

  • i'm an italian guy and what you show in this video is completely wrong. that's not espresso, that's not even italian coffee: that's the shitty dirt water you can drink in every starbuck and you don't understand anything about coffee. you don't have the minimum idea of what coffee is or means for italians. this is shit man! this is as if i upload a video where i show and teach how to prepare perfect pancakes: i just don't! then... "barista"... ahahah! i got another italian word for you: COGLIONE!

  • @jacopomagni

    I didn't know that Italians had such a fine sense of irony!

  • What you have made is not espresso it a new type of drink. Espresso is made by grinding meduim to fine and extracting in around 20-30 seconds. Thats how its been done for the last 120years and thats how it will always be done. I am not saying your creation will taste bad because i have not tried it but if i ordered an espresso and got that i would send it back.

  • Let the coffee breathe to eliminate CO2 and add oxygen?? What is this schlock chemistry?! CO2 is what creates crema & helps the coffee to extract w/ more a balanced flavor that isn't blindingly astringent. On the other hand, oxygen is what makes coffee become stale & gain a more bitter, less rich taste -- hence vacuum sealed bags -- to keep the oxygen out! The reason some people pull their shots within 30 seconds of grinding is that oxygen can start affecting the grinds in under a minute.

  • There is no misconception among anyone that a fine grind is favorable -- i don't know what made you think this was a "common mistake". Fine grind is always the 1st thing baristas are told NOT to do. Conversely, overly coarse grinding is absolutely a misconception. It causes under extraction & weak & watery coffee w/ poor crema. Beans should be on the coarse side, but not on max coarse. Experimentation is needed to hit the sweet spot given pressure, tamp, amount of grind, bean qualities, etc..

  • hole not many peeps have an expensive machine like this hole

  • non capisci nulla di caffè -.-

  • I find it hard to believe that the shot that you pulled there tasted good.

  • once this guy drunk this shit...He died...

  • this is incorrect.

  • can't wait to try all this. got my portafilter cooling in the freezer..... wait a minute!

  • I was almost died laughing at the "45 degree tamp" oh my goodness haha

  • Friggin Hilarious... thanks for the good belly laugh!

  • Weak. "The woora", anyone?

  • Been doing it this way for decades. Glad somebody understands.

  • LOL Pret a POrter is a greek word which means to freeze the portafilter ! fingerlermo ! you want the water to rush out as quick as possilbe !!!! haha lmao

  • crap

  • asshole ! you don t make fun of coffe ! I believe in that more than in God !

  • what does an Australian know about coffee? they should be in jail

  • @FuckTheLawNiggas THAT aussie knows nothing about coffee, but a few more of us do. Particularly in Melbourne. ;-)

  • Obviously a joke

  • 238 ppl are ugly anorgasmic virgin NERDS

  • Coffeewanker talking bulltish.

  • haha

  • TROLL!!!!

  • hahahahahahahahahaha

  • very bad coffee, shit crema, too quick. I hope it is only a joke.

  • i watched this video 3 years ago, it wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now.

  • @Johanvideo525 And yet you felt the need to watch it again anyway??? I know the guy and this was all done as a complete joke. Can't belive that some people think this is for real

  • @namreklaw i know looks like lots of people are putting critical comments about the crema and technique etc. I did feel compelled to watch it after all these years, but still i just don't see the point as its been fooling a majority of people. i do wonder how many people though did try out this technique to see if they got good result. Its all good fun.

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  • i can't believe that man drank such a foul shot of shit. an espresso shot requires three components; heart, body and crema... all i see here is disgrace.

  • There is nothing wrong with a bit of espresso comedy (you see it every day at Starbucks), but adjusting a quality grinder when it is not running and has beans in it can be cause for voiding the warranty. It can mis-align the burrs or damage the bearings or adjusting threads. And unlike the video, this is serious advice.

  • is this for real???

  • wow, i really don't care..

  • "25 seconds just doesn't cut it for me..espresso means quick" and yet it "should be at least 45 seconds." XD

  • lolololololololololol super-funny :D

  • Comment removed

  • this guy is nuts.

  • this is a piss take as it it opposite to everything ever used to make coffee.

  • 217 people drink gay french coffee

  • @afterGR 1 guy who wouldn't have the balls to tell this to a french hide himself like a little pussy behind his computer.

  • @TheCorbucci sorry, 221 ppl

  • @afterGR :)

  • what a load of cr...

  • "Freeze-a-porto, coming from the Greek word, 'Freeze-port,' which means 'to freeze the portafilter'"! Hysterical parody of pretentious coffee vids.

  • you forgot to mention the most important thing! You must use expensive coffee, because expensive tastes good! I would recommend Kopi Lowak. You have to blend it with few of the "real droppings". It gives you nice and intense flavor you will never forget. And If you are stupid and go with some of the COE (Cup of Excellence) coffees, you have to roast it dark, very dark, like black dark. Because the oils you see on the surface of the coffee bean you get in your true espresso. enjoy.

  • The coffee looks yuk! And you too! At least you should have try to make it funny.

  • Yes its a hoax the guys talking complete bull crap ha...... look at the state of the espresso coming through, far 2 long

  • looks terrible ughhh.... i

  • I got a great tip for homemade espresso at coffeeloverstipandtricks (.) com

  • Finally, someone with a proper sense of humor!

  • What a load of faffing around!

  • is this guy serious?

  • Comment removed

  • I myself use dried mouse poo which I then put in the freeser before grinding it to espesso fine powder.

  • your a zube stretch

  • It that him sneezing into the filter @ 0:45? That'll improve the espresso

  • lol

  • I find it helps if instead of water you use cat urine. Gives it a bit of kick.

  • I find it helps if instead of water you use cat urine. Gives it a bit of kick.

  • Hmm. This sounds like complete bollocks to me. I really couldn't believe what I was hearing!

    HOWEVER, I did run to my espresso machine to try it.

    I was suprised with the outcome, a watery looking espresso and the crema must have gone on a vacation since it's not there...

    But the taste was good. But I found it not an espresso taste... more like a regular coffee taste.

    I can't imagine making an cappuchino or an americano out of this, it lacks power.

    I wouldn't be suprised if this is a hoax.

  • So much of the argumentation in these comments is asserting a 'scientific' opinion of what really is an 'art'. The distinction is critical.

    I really can't tell if this is a parody or not...

  • @blakerwalk This is most certainly a Hoax, Freezing cold PF? WTF? this is as far as you can get to the right/only way to make espresso. Coffee is scientific... and so is Comedy

    Bitter twist yes?

  • So much of the argumentation in these comments is asserting a 'scientific' opinion of what really is an 'art'. The distinction is critical.

  • what are you making mud water?

  • bahahaha!

    

  • I have to get me a table size freezer and some porta's right away! And I'm thinking about starting up a business of tampers with pre-molded fingers. I'll use my middle finger for a model!

  • this is retard man....doesnt make sense at all.........

  • @desprado69

    it is just as you say he is a retard and probably never used a good espresso Machine

    and he is using a pressurized portafilter so yeah the grind does not matter AS much

    and that espresso he made just looked nasty

  • Why do you grind your coffee beans?

    It's old school!

    If you don't, you get espresso much faster!

  • @KiSkRhNe HAHAHAHA!! 

  • I just got a job at a grate coffee shop as a barista. I've been looking at videos on you tube and this is simply the best one. I can't wait until Monday to try this and surprise my boss.

  • I'm pretty sure this is how they do it at Starbucks.

  • @brokebassoon jeje yum!!! starbucks.... real great coffee (sarcasm)

  • @CappuccinoMaker And sending this as spam doesn't make sense mate, It's a Breville!

  • Well done. I'm a total novice and actually thought this was real... glad I read the comments!

  • hilarious!

  • But he left out adding a shot of grappa.

  • Fantastic but when do I put the milk in LOL.......

  • @gmyster2609 Of course, if you want a latte, you should add the milk directly into the portafilter, causing a delicious, creamy texture without disguising the true coffee taste.

  • Fantastic but when do I put the milk in LOL

  • Great vid! Laughed my ass off!

    I am a self-confessed espresso snob, with all the top end gear and hours of careful practice following strict Italian guidelines. It was awesome seeing a satirical view of how silly I may seem to those who don’t really care how’s made, as long as I get them their espresso shots and cappuccinos as quickly as possible.

    Less talk and more coffee!

  • "It releases the carbon-oxide and lets it breathe."

    Beautiful words!

  • GREAT

  • love it!! wonder how hard it was for the guy drinking that espresso lol

  • hahaahaha!!! im laughing my ass off when the shot came out

  • I used to own the most renowned cafe in America, and I adopted these techniques at the cafe. I even used liquid nitrogen for the freezer portafilter technique. You have brought financial ruin onto my cafe, and it was forced into bankruptcy. With no other options I am forced into prostitution, pimping, and drug dealing. Your video has single handily destroyed my life. I hope you are proud of yourselves.

  • @snoopyflick shut the fuck up and have a latte

  • @snoopyflick If you own the most renowned cafe, then you wouldn't have fallen for these techniques :) I mean..you'd recognize they were bad after a few goes right?

  • Seriously people - read the next line slowly..ask a friend if you need help:

    IT'S A JOKE.

    I think some commenters here have had their sense of humour extracted.

  • @machroi Wise words Mr Il brido

  • needs more chai.

  • 3:36 PRO Barista espresso shot? lmao ;'P

  • This video has made my day. I was actually crying with laughter when the espresso was shooting out and was completely pale!

  • HAHAHA good video. I'm sure all 'Donut King' employees watch this as a training video.

  • Lol, excellent - I use coffee from a jar personally, with just a touch of salt to bring out the flavour

  • He failed to mention that you should only use chicory, as well.

  • this is hilarious

  • Can you put some subtitles on this video?

  • YOUR A FAGGOT!! PEOPLE THAT REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE AN EXPRESSO ARE GONNA FUCKKED IF THEY DONT KNOW YOUR FULL OF SHITTTTTT!!!

  • LAWL! "the 45 degree tamp". classic.

  • Proud to see my fellow Aussies bringing innovative and delicious methods to the world. Shame on you if you thought this was a joke; Aussies take coffee VERY seriously. More shame on you if you thought this was poor technique; I bet you haven't even tried it!

  • @cptnshoepolish How could we try it without a large bottle of vodka, some fake ego and a pressurized basket?

  • If you don't know anything about espresso, please, please don't watch this... Learn about it, then come back and watch it... Then you'll understand why this is so funny.

  • excellent advice.... although you forgot to mention it is ideal to grind the coffee beans months before you brew. Coffee ages like fine wine.

  • @utarian7 Laughing my a** off, thanks for that

  • MA CHI E QUESTO PAZZOOOOOOOO !!!

  • hahaha thats awesome

  • You bout had me til I seen the espresso pouring. THE HORROR. THE HORROR.

  • HYSTERICAL!

  • classic dry australian humour. i love how all the self proclaimed coffee connoisseurs are so agro about it.

  • this is like the opposite of what you should be doing

  • LAWL'

  • I tend to just put whole beans in the portafilter. Gives a fresher taste.

  • impractical in commercial application.. those things cost hundreds of dollars depending on the machine and for us to buy several to keep in the freezer in hand is asking too much. when you flush it you're exposing it to 220degree water.

    poking holes is also impractical because when you press it into the machine you're pressing it flat again so why bother; I'm sure the guy paying 3.50 for his latte is not going to wait an extra 5secs for us to make holes.

    you're smoking crack..