Hey Martin! I know my brave, expressive "Caledonian" friend that your great upload here is "Getting On", but Bobby Griffiths' (Prayers for Bobby) old lover/boyfriend "Blaine" here thinks it's never too late to tell someone just how proud he, no I of coarse am of you! Years ago before you were born and right after Bobby Griffiths' suicide I got into a Scottish Band whose members hail from "Grangemouth"! The "Cocteau Twins" were like a "Celtic" rock escape for me!
Young fella its quite normal for some teenagers to be in a state of flux at your age - there is no need to do the whole comming out thing - latter when maybe you have a b/f ( or g/f) your sexuality will be pretty obvious and may simply confirm things - focus on enjoying life and let the others catch up in their own sweet time. good luck.
However you need to be emotionally ready to cope with people gossiping about you, however I feel if you are not obviously gay like most of us and if you are as honest as the procedure below.then people will respect you for it UNLESS they are cunts.These are bullies who see a vulnerability in the honesty you've shown.You need to be ready for that too.
Is comin out no about makin LIFE EASIER FOR YOURSELF BY HAVING MORE HONEST RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.so that's WHY in my opinion people come out
My plan for "coming out" which has never been put into practice as yet but some time it will be. It goes thus:
You are asked what you think of "her" over there OR You are asked if you have a girlfriend OR Any question put to you which contains the assumption that you're straight.
Set your alarm bells ringing inside your head: "Here goes".
And say to them simply and calmly "ohh I'm not into that, I'm gay".
And watch them try and feign disinterest or surprise (depending). Classic!
I think, in Scotland....if people as a bulk accepted the high incidence of homosexuality / bisexuality within the human species and if they were comfortable with realising that anybody can be gay or bi, ie there is no "camp" marker for most people. I think Scotland is miles behind in this respect. I think people here are pretty ignorant of the existance of gays among themselves and girls especially have an annoying attitude to us as if we're not real men... Little do they know!
@trintonmcspaz Grrr same, tell me about it. It's so annoying when you say that and then people just automatically assume that i'm into every uy we see and stuff and if i mention anything about some girl being fit they're like what??
These comments u get have got to be discouraging but I praise you that you keep going I'm sad to see the world that we can have ppl from across the world posting videos on a website but are still put down because we are only tolarated (I'm in the middle closet too, not knowing where I'm labelled to be honest) but I wish it wasn't this bad kudos to u for being there and speaking up for all of us who are to shy or ashamed to do so for ourselves!!
the reason gays have a bad name is because of motherfucking dicks like this!! as fars as im concerned god made adam and eve not adam and steve simple as!! they are all fucked up motherfuckers who bitch cry and winge about everything , just watch big bro if ya dont beleve me, thats what they are all like! they belong down below us in society where they have always been!! no wonder they all stick to their own kind cos us normal people hate em!!!
Well if your bi,lets see what you rather do go out with a nice looking guy or a sexy girl? If you choosed the guy then you can come out and say your gay,if you picked the girl,but would like to go home with the guy then your gay. I've done girls which is nice,but I rather have a nice guy and I used to think I was bi,but I consider myself GAY. Peace
Martin - It is important to be a voice where none is really heard. By coming out, gay persons the world over can begin to, and continue to, gain the recognition which enables them to be recognized as equals within society. Liked or not, the more people who affirm and declare outwardly their proclamation of being gay, we can hopefully break down the barriers of homophobia, self-doubt, bigotry, and really of this 'dual status' we currently just accept as normal. Gay people deserve Equality/Love.
I heard that people in mostly Europe are better and more accepted. But in US your parents most likely will be like thinking that it's just a phase or just teens. Now where I was born, Puerto Rico if you tell your parents they would probably hit you, use violence, abuse of you. That's why I mostly like Europe! People over there are so nice :] And sadly people in high schools in US mostly all of them are jerks who like to make fun of different people, but that's mostly, not all. :]
Because if you don't come out then Mom and Dad and the Family will start asking you dumb questions about why your not married or why you don't have a girlfriend?
My son is gay, and although he never really "came out" until he was 16, I knew (or at least had my suspicions) when he was 11.
I am not really sure why people think they need to come out, I mean, its nobodys business what sexuality you are. We dont all announce at some point in our earlylives, that we are straight!
Why dont we all announce (come out) that we hate or love vegetables, or better yet that we are infatuated with "Miss Piggy". Why is our sexual orientation any more important?
You wouldn't need to 'come out' if you're straight because that is the 'norm' & is automatically accepted. Coming out is the acknowledge to yourself & those around you that you ARE in fact different than the so-called 'norm'.
While standing out is not the typical reason for telling people, it IS to let people know that your preference is not necessarily their preference. This means that you don't want to hear 'gay jokes' or be asked if you 'dig that chick' or why you never have a girlfriend.
This theory is fine if you buy into the fact that society (and it's norms) dictate where I (or you) fit. Personally I don't buy into that. I am who I am, and I will be whoever I want to be, and as a mature aged and intelligent adult, that is my right. If society doent like it, thats too bad for society!
I am 40+ years young and I have never told anybody what my sexual preference, just as I have never told anybody my income, religious beliefs, or political preferences.
For those of you that are straight, put your experiences in a 'gay life' perspective & realize that 'coming out' is a constant, life-long exercise. I know that to you it seems weird, but if you truly understood what many closeted gays experience from their peers, you would not have to ask "Why do you have to come out?"
It doesnt seem weird, it seems unnecessary, and as the father of a gay child, I now believe it even more. Sure my son came out to me, as would be expected! I am his father and he needed guidance (in his mind) because society has made it that way. Sure I would have probably questioned why a boyfriend was staying over as opposed to a girlfriend, but then I am not sure about that either. His sexuality and privacy, are not my business. If he chooses to discuss them with me, as he did, I am honoured.
@trulykiwi Sorry, but that simply isn't correct. You don't announce you're straight because that's the norm. It's simply something that is assumed.
It's not like race, where it's something obvious. I mean, sure, some people ARE extremely obvious. But there are plenty of others who no one suspects would be gay.
I mean, okay, you don't have to actually come out and say it, but even through actions, you're still doing it. Like, introducing your parents to your bf. Still a form of coming out.
@klausthereddevil If you read all my comments on this you would see that in part I agree with you. However my main point of contention with this issue is that we (society) almost "expects" to be told when someone is gay, either through actions or voice. It is none of our business!!! It is one thing (and the way it should be) if someone decides to tell everyone they are gay, but "SOCIETY" as a whole has no RIGHT to know. If they know, they should see it as privileged information.
@trulykiwi It's gaining respect from others, by being true to yourself. remember, we are a small minority who's strength is in VISABLE numbers. Only then society is imposed upon to see we are like them, only different in sexuality, not some conjured stereotype. That said, we have to respect those who want to be private. NO ONE should be forced, or even suggest they should come out, it's an intensly personal decision.
@sleekcartim I agree with most of what you say here, except that part about gay people being like the rest of society. They are not like the rest of society, and if they were there would be no problem with society accepting gay men for who they were. Sure, most are just like everyone else, but those who are camp or flamboyant in their manner, are not like the rest of society in the main. You are right though, it is a personal thing and it should stay that way.
I think some people honestly do the whole "coming out" video for views, but on the other hand I think some people really just want everyone to know (maybe because they've repressed it for so long) and youtube is a good way of doing that.
OKAY MASLOW'S THIRD NEED! You (being bi) have found acceptance in the realm of heterosexuality but homosexuals have no such option. Everyone ASSUMES you like girls and you do so you hardly need to alter their perception of you. So you think "Why even bother?" whereas a gay person can't use the doublethink of "Well I'm almost straight. Why rock the boat?"
I never really understood the "coming out day" concept. Gay people want to be treated like the rest of society but feel that a day is needed where we shout out to the world that we are different... it's a contradiction.
People should be allowed to tell whomever (and whenever) they want how they live their life and how a person lives their life should only matter to those who's life theirs affect.
I'll sum it up for you "affirmative action" for homosexuals. We get kicked in the metaphorical balls so damn much we deserve a little special treatment. It's like black history month...except not.
You have to admit the irony is still present. We want to be treated like everyone else but have been treated so poorly in the past that our actions create a paradox that simply can't be solved at present. We can lie to ourselves and state that we want equal treatment but (based on our actions) in reality that is not the case; we instead want preferential treatment above and beyond everyone else. This defeats the original assertion, by the community, that we should be treated like everyone else.
Well yes it is a bit contradictory but after stewing on it some more I think this logic can only be applied to things such as gay pride parades and the like. Coming out day exists not for the world to treat gays special but instead for gays to treat gays special. Coming out day is how everyday should be. It's a day where manyy supressed closeted gays can finally be themselves. To be regular. So in the case of coming out day we are HARDLY asking for something special. We ask to be ourselves.
Regardless of its intentions, its still confine by the trappings of what it has become. Coming out day is marked by gay pride parades and the associated displays (involving friends and family) that reinforce the desires from the gay community of preferential treatment.
Everyday could be considered coming out day as gay people come out every day of the year. The need for a singular coming out day really does not make sense as it just reinforces the stereotype that we want special treatment.
Seems like the reason people come out is just so they can finally be themselves, going around and pretending you are someone or something else is fairly daunting and sometime destructive. No one says "you have to come out", just be yourself. You will find that the people who count will think that is pretty amazing and if they don't they didn't really count.
Very nice video, I completley agree with the majority of your points. And to go along with, sexuality is too much dichotomized in today's society. many people aren't just straight or gay, they lay in the middle, it's crazy that people actually label something which definitely can't be completely understood.
This is the first video of yours I've seen, I'm quite impressed. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.
As for the coming out thing, I did a video this year myself. My video was support for everyone else that was coming out, and perhaps an affirmation of an acceptance of myself.
Was it necessary? Did I do it because everyone else did? No. I did it because I wanted to, and because it felt good to be free of what were probably self imposed restraints.
Wow that was great dude! The video was quite thought provoking and demonstrates your maturity in dealing with the issues. As far as coming out, I believe that just means being able to freely express your love and affection, not assuming any role or label but instead following your instincts and heart. This truth and freedom of expression brings happiness; the coming out day was supposed to inspire people to do just that, though I believe it should be in their own time. Good luck with your life!
It was good that ppl did the coming out videos as it does show how much more accepting the world is now... Although most youtubers seem gay/bi.
I didnt do a video on it as there were like a million videos already done on that day and my video would have been 'just another video' and nothing special.. But i do believe alot of people did do it for the subscribers!
Its good that you can say you are bi and i respect you for that, most bi ppl feel they are forced to pick a side, but good on you =)
You have good questions... some might say that it's only by coming out that society has become a more tolerant place (fewer people can say 'Oh, I've never met a gay person' and it's not as easy to hate people you know) but in some ways you're right, is forming one's own identity based on sexual orientation going down the right road? Why do we need labels? So people can put people in boxes without getting to know them probably... anyway, great video. —Vick
That's a brilliant vlog Martin, a lot of great thoughts in there. Your comment about adapting to the company around you is spot on, it's like an unconscious autoreaction.
Society is changing all the time and on many levels, acceptance is the only way forward.
You're right when you say for a gay person to decide to come out (& who to) should be very much up to the individual. Otherwise, it would be in danger of becoming a label like a trend or something.
Hey Martin, you made some really great points. I agree with them, and I get what you mean with most of them. The tolerant point was a VERY excellent point! You know, coming out is a process and not really something you do just once...I like your comment at the end! haha..why come out of the closet if there's alot of hot people in there! that was great...
wow u sure are confused lol it's cool tho. the thinking behind urging ppl to come out is: There is strength in numbers, we are fighting for our EQUAL rights... also str8 ppl will respect & accept us if they know we exist in their world. we are not a bundle of nasty stereotypes slinking round in the dark. we are family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, humans just like them. also who wants to live a str8 lie? Hey if ur BI great, if ur not great, ur still cute (said it again ;)
@martinw93
Ciao Bello!
Hey Martin! I know my brave, expressive "Caledonian" friend that your great upload here is "Getting On", but Bobby Griffiths' (Prayers for Bobby) old lover/boyfriend "Blaine" here thinks it's never too late to tell someone just how proud he, no I of coarse am of you! Years ago before you were born and right after Bobby Griffiths' suicide I got into a Scottish Band whose members hail from "Grangemouth"! The "Cocteau Twins" were like a "Celtic" rock escape for me!
blainebill39 6 months ago
"England and America are two countries separated by a common language." --George Bernard Shaw
rustydog1236 8 months ago
I like your eyes
paulcognito 8 months ago
Young fella its quite normal for some teenagers to be in a state of flux at your age - there is no need to do the whole comming out thing - latter when maybe you have a b/f ( or g/f) your sexuality will be pretty obvious and may simply confirm things - focus on enjoying life and let the others catch up in their own sweet time. good luck.
trevortrevortsr2 1 year ago
However you need to be emotionally ready to cope with people gossiping about you, however I feel if you are not obviously gay like most of us and if you are as honest as the procedure below.then people will respect you for it UNLESS they are cunts.These are bullies who see a vulnerability in the honesty you've shown.You need to be ready for that too.
Is comin out no about makin LIFE EASIER FOR YOURSELF BY HAVING MORE HONEST RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.so that's WHY in my opinion people come out
19alba87 1 year ago
My plan for "coming out" which has never been put into practice as yet but some time it will be. It goes thus:
You are asked what you think of "her" over there OR You are asked if you have a girlfriend OR Any question put to you which contains the assumption that you're straight.
Set your alarm bells ringing inside your head: "Here goes".
And say to them simply and calmly "ohh I'm not into that, I'm gay".
And watch them try and feign disinterest or surprise (depending). Classic!
19alba87 1 year ago
I think, in Scotland....if people as a bulk accepted the high incidence of homosexuality / bisexuality within the human species and if they were comfortable with realising that anybody can be gay or bi, ie there is no "camp" marker for most people. I think Scotland is miles behind in this respect. I think people here are pretty ignorant of the existance of gays among themselves and girls especially have an annoying attitude to us as if we're not real men... Little do they know!
19alba87 1 year ago
You're adorable, sweet, funny, handsome...I could go on and on!!! I really love your videos ;)
TruthJunkieMikael 1 year ago
I'm bisexual and whenever I come out to someone, it's like I have to come out twice.
"Hey, I'm gay; but not really, cuz I like girls too."
Its annoying.
trintonmcspaz 1 year ago
@trintonmcspaz Grrr same, tell me about it. It's so annoying when you say that and then people just automatically assume that i'm into every uy we see and stuff and if i mention anything about some girl being fit they're like what??
I think theres more of a sigma for Bi people :(
bssyjb 1 year ago
U'r so CUTE.Luv u! :)
florifaramaner 1 year ago
I like ya kid.
MikeysGayToday 1 year ago
well.. you'd certainly count as one of those hot people in the closet..
siver1080 2 years ago
These comments u get have got to be discouraging but I praise you that you keep going I'm sad to see the world that we can have ppl from across the world posting videos on a website but are still put down because we are only tolarated (I'm in the middle closet too, not knowing where I'm labelled to be honest) but I wish it wasn't this bad kudos to u for being there and speaking up for all of us who are to shy or ashamed to do so for ourselves!!
Hopingillfindyou 2 years ago
i love your accent!! :D
budddy385 2 years ago 2
This guy is cute!
harendhrenra 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
the reason gays have a bad name is because of motherfucking dicks like this!! as fars as im concerned god made adam and eve not adam and steve simple as!! they are all fucked up motherfuckers who bitch cry and winge about everything , just watch big bro if ya dont beleve me, thats what they are all like! they belong down below us in society where they have always been!! no wonder they all stick to their own kind cos us normal people hate em!!!
MRMOUTHY1 2 years ago
Dude... I think anyone with accents are cool... Without unique people in this world it would be very boring...
EmteeAK 2 years ago 2
Well if your bi,lets see what you rather do go out with a nice looking guy or a sexy girl? If you choosed the guy then you can come out and say your gay,if you picked the girl,but would like to go home with the guy then your gay. I've done girls which is nice,but I rather have a nice guy and I used to think I was bi,but I consider myself GAY. Peace
choro1981 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Are you mentally challenged? No offence intended, but you talk really funny :(
menuria 2 years ago
Um it's called an ACCENT dumbass.
mpohutsk 2 years ago 9
This comment has received too many negative votes show
You are a dumbass. I know it's his accent too, but it's the way he talks too..
menuria 2 years ago
for reals???are you mentaly challenged?? he is from scottland retard. jeeze
veektur123 2 years ago
What if you come out and then starting dating a girl?
LOL WTF?
nwishvav 2 years ago
I would have to agree with your point of view on tolerance :)
sfish2780 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
U would never need to come out....you scream fag when i heard you man!
Devebabi07 2 years ago
Martin - It is important to be a voice where none is really heard. By coming out, gay persons the world over can begin to, and continue to, gain the recognition which enables them to be recognized as equals within society. Liked or not, the more people who affirm and declare outwardly their proclamation of being gay, we can hopefully break down the barriers of homophobia, self-doubt, bigotry, and really of this 'dual status' we currently just accept as normal. Gay people deserve Equality/Love.
SolZocalo 2 years ago
I heard that people in mostly Europe are better and more accepted. But in US your parents most likely will be like thinking that it's just a phase or just teens. Now where I was born, Puerto Rico if you tell your parents they would probably hit you, use violence, abuse of you. That's why I mostly like Europe! People over there are so nice :] And sadly people in high schools in US mostly all of them are jerks who like to make fun of different people, but that's mostly, not all. :]
rfg024 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
is he retarted?
clubheadxtasy2 2 years ago
no but if you can't spell it you shouldn't be asking it.
xydude4u2c 2 years ago 3
This comment has received too many negative votes show
i was kidding, shut the hell up
clubheadxtasy2 2 years ago
Because if you don't come out then Mom and Dad and the Family will start asking you dumb questions about why your not married or why you don't have a girlfriend?
justaloe 3 years ago
My son is gay, and although he never really "came out" until he was 16, I knew (or at least had my suspicions) when he was 11.
I am not really sure why people think they need to come out, I mean, its nobodys business what sexuality you are. We dont all announce at some point in our earlylives, that we are straight!
Why dont we all announce (come out) that we hate or love vegetables, or better yet that we are infatuated with "Miss Piggy". Why is our sexual orientation any more important?
trulykiwi 3 years ago 13
Good point. I don't see why people have such ridiculous hangups over it. In 10 years it'll probably be like, "Do you like white or black coffee?" :)
martinw93 3 years ago
Absolutely agree! Uh Oh!!! I like both so I guess I had better be ready to be labelled "Bi-Caffeinated", LOL :o)
trulykiwi 3 years ago 4
I'm sorry, I prefer tea. :P
bjjowett 2 years ago
You wouldn't need to 'come out' if you're straight because that is the 'norm' & is automatically accepted. Coming out is the acknowledge to yourself & those around you that you ARE in fact different than the so-called 'norm'.
While standing out is not the typical reason for telling people, it IS to let people know that your preference is not necessarily their preference. This means that you don't want to hear 'gay jokes' or be asked if you 'dig that chick' or why you never have a girlfriend.
licotto 2 years ago
This theory is fine if you buy into the fact that society (and it's norms) dictate where I (or you) fit. Personally I don't buy into that. I am who I am, and I will be whoever I want to be, and as a mature aged and intelligent adult, that is my right. If society doent like it, thats too bad for society!
I am 40+ years young and I have never told anybody what my sexual preference, just as I have never told anybody my income, religious beliefs, or political preferences.
trulykiwi 2 years ago
For those of you that are straight, put your experiences in a 'gay life' perspective & realize that 'coming out' is a constant, life-long exercise. I know that to you it seems weird, but if you truly understood what many closeted gays experience from their peers, you would not have to ask "Why do you have to come out?"
licotto 2 years ago
It doesnt seem weird, it seems unnecessary, and as the father of a gay child, I now believe it even more. Sure my son came out to me, as would be expected! I am his father and he needed guidance (in his mind) because society has made it that way. Sure I would have probably questioned why a boyfriend was staying over as opposed to a girlfriend, but then I am not sure about that either. His sexuality and privacy, are not my business. If he chooses to discuss them with me, as he did, I am honoured.
trulykiwi 2 years ago 13
@trulykiwi Sorry, but that simply isn't correct. You don't announce you're straight because that's the norm. It's simply something that is assumed.
It's not like race, where it's something obvious. I mean, sure, some people ARE extremely obvious. But there are plenty of others who no one suspects would be gay.
I mean, okay, you don't have to actually come out and say it, but even through actions, you're still doing it. Like, introducing your parents to your bf. Still a form of coming out.
klausthereddevil 1 year ago
@klausthereddevil If you read all my comments on this you would see that in part I agree with you. However my main point of contention with this issue is that we (society) almost "expects" to be told when someone is gay, either through actions or voice. It is none of our business!!! It is one thing (and the way it should be) if someone decides to tell everyone they are gay, but "SOCIETY" as a whole has no RIGHT to know. If they know, they should see it as privileged information.
trulykiwi 1 year ago
@trulykiwi It's gaining respect from others, by being true to yourself. remember, we are a small minority who's strength is in VISABLE numbers. Only then society is imposed upon to see we are like them, only different in sexuality, not some conjured stereotype. That said, we have to respect those who want to be private. NO ONE should be forced, or even suggest they should come out, it's an intensly personal decision.
sleekcartim 1 year ago
@sleekcartim I agree with most of what you say here, except that part about gay people being like the rest of society. They are not like the rest of society, and if they were there would be no problem with society accepting gay men for who they were. Sure, most are just like everyone else, but those who are camp or flamboyant in their manner, are not like the rest of society in the main. You are right though, it is a personal thing and it should stay that way.
trulykiwi 1 year ago
@trulykiwi By "the same" i mean Human, worthy of respect.
sleekcartim 1 year ago
@sleekcartim oh! Well in that case yes, you are totally correct :o)
trulykiwi 1 year ago
oh wow;; yourr acent iss soo cuutee.
:}
Your so adorableee. :D
spunkkyloveskalyn 3 years ago 3
Hellooo
Nice video ;)
Where in Scotland are you from?
BigScaryJoe 3 years ago
I was born in Galashiels but i've lived in Glasgow for the past 9 years.
martinw93 3 years ago
cool, im from helensburgh. heard of it? its about 45 mins away from glasgow
BigScaryJoe 3 years ago
yeah i've heard of it :) whats the weather like over there? cold i'm guessin :D
martinw93 3 years ago
well right now... its cold and rainy =[
BigScaryJoe 3 years ago
sounds about right :)
martinw93 3 years ago
lol yehh
BigScaryJoe 3 years ago
Good video =)
I think some people honestly do the whole "coming out" video for views, but on the other hand I think some people really just want everyone to know (maybe because they've repressed it for so long) and youtube is a good way of doing that.
Love your accent by the way, haha. =)
leewalczakmusic 3 years ago
OKAY MASLOW'S THIRD NEED! You (being bi) have found acceptance in the realm of heterosexuality but homosexuals have no such option. Everyone ASSUMES you like girls and you do so you hardly need to alter their perception of you. So you think "Why even bother?" whereas a gay person can't use the doublethink of "Well I'm almost straight. Why rock the boat?"
djvbb12 3 years ago 2
Yes.
martinw93 3 years ago
Well said djvbb12!
KeepSmiling09 3 years ago
It help helps being well read and a homosexual myself. As well as having bisexual friends.
djvbb12 3 years ago
I never really understood the "coming out day" concept. Gay people want to be treated like the rest of society but feel that a day is needed where we shout out to the world that we are different... it's a contradiction.
People should be allowed to tell whomever (and whenever) they want how they live their life and how a person lives their life should only matter to those who's life theirs affect.
pliepl 3 years ago
I'll sum it up for you "affirmative action" for homosexuals. We get kicked in the metaphorical balls so damn much we deserve a little special treatment. It's like black history month...except not.
djvbb12 3 years ago
You have to admit the irony is still present. We want to be treated like everyone else but have been treated so poorly in the past that our actions create a paradox that simply can't be solved at present. We can lie to ourselves and state that we want equal treatment but (based on our actions) in reality that is not the case; we instead want preferential treatment above and beyond everyone else. This defeats the original assertion, by the community, that we should be treated like everyone else.
pliepl 3 years ago
Good point :)
martinw93 3 years ago
Well yes it is a bit contradictory but after stewing on it some more I think this logic can only be applied to things such as gay pride parades and the like. Coming out day exists not for the world to treat gays special but instead for gays to treat gays special. Coming out day is how everyday should be. It's a day where manyy supressed closeted gays can finally be themselves. To be regular. So in the case of coming out day we are HARDLY asking for something special. We ask to be ourselves.
djvbb12 3 years ago
Regardless of its intentions, its still confine by the trappings of what it has become. Coming out day is marked by gay pride parades and the associated displays (involving friends and family) that reinforce the desires from the gay community of preferential treatment.
Everyday could be considered coming out day as gay people come out every day of the year. The need for a singular coming out day really does not make sense as it just reinforces the stereotype that we want special treatment.
pliepl 3 years ago
i loved this video, it was very easy to listen to.
oh and on your sexuality, i think you said it at the end (and i agree with you), if your not sure what you are then there is no need for a label.
heres to being accepted regardless. :) cheers
bojanglesvegan 3 years ago
good point, I'd definately say my Dad tolerates my sexuality at the moment, if he will ever accept it I don't know...
thekingofdefford 3 years ago
Seems like the reason people come out is just so they can finally be themselves, going around and pretending you are someone or something else is fairly daunting and sometime destructive. No one says "you have to come out", just be yourself. You will find that the people who count will think that is pretty amazing and if they don't they didn't really count.
loki4469 3 years ago 4
Very nice video, I completley agree with the majority of your points. And to go along with, sexuality is too much dichotomized in today's society. many people aren't just straight or gay, they lay in the middle, it's crazy that people actually label something which definitely can't be completely understood.
akg2016 3 years ago 6
I completely agree and btw, dichotomized is a great word :)
martinw93 3 years ago
wow. you are soooooooooooo right. i could not have said that better myself. :)
Shaduadude 3 years ago
This is the first video of yours I've seen, I'm quite impressed. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.
As for the coming out thing, I did a video this year myself. My video was support for everyone else that was coming out, and perhaps an affirmation of an acceptance of myself.
Was it necessary? Did I do it because everyone else did? No. I did it because I wanted to, and because it felt good to be free of what were probably self imposed restraints.
Thanks for the great vid.
darienmask 3 years ago
Yeah, i totally agree about the restraints thing. We let these fears take over our minds and in the end we're left with nothing.
martinw93 3 years ago
Wow that was great dude! The video was quite thought provoking and demonstrates your maturity in dealing with the issues. As far as coming out, I believe that just means being able to freely express your love and affection, not assuming any role or label but instead following your instincts and heart. This truth and freedom of expression brings happiness; the coming out day was supposed to inspire people to do just that, though I believe it should be in their own time. Good luck with your life!
horatiogiovanni4real 3 years ago
Cheers man :)
martinw93 3 years ago
this is your first video that i've seen and i'm in love.
i agree about the bi thing. who says sexuality is black or white. there is a spectrum, not just two sides.
you are very intelligent, and i love that you can just spilllike this. not to mention you are adorable and your accents makes me smile :)
iheartelphaba 3 years ago
Thank you so much! People from overseas seem to love scottish accents :)
martinw93 3 years ago
Yes we do fucking love scottish accents.
djvbb12 3 years ago
It was good that ppl did the coming out videos as it does show how much more accepting the world is now... Although most youtubers seem gay/bi.
I didnt do a video on it as there were like a million videos already done on that day and my video would have been 'just another video' and nothing special.. But i do believe alot of people did do it for the subscribers!
Its good that you can say you are bi and i respect you for that, most bi ppl feel they are forced to pick a side, but good on you =)
lazylad69 3 years ago
Thanks, that means a lot :)
martinw93 3 years ago
You have good questions... some might say that it's only by coming out that society has become a more tolerant place (fewer people can say 'Oh, I've never met a gay person' and it's not as easy to hate people you know) but in some ways you're right, is forming one's own identity based on sexual orientation going down the right road? Why do we need labels? So people can put people in boxes without getting to know them probably... anyway, great video. —Vick
VickVancouver 3 years ago
thanks vick!
martinw93 3 years ago
That's a brilliant vlog Martin, a lot of great thoughts in there. Your comment about adapting to the company around you is spot on, it's like an unconscious autoreaction.
Society is changing all the time and on many levels, acceptance is the only way forward.
You're right when you say for a gay person to decide to come out (& who to) should be very much up to the individual. Otherwise, it would be in danger of becoming a label like a trend or something.
Great thought provoking video there
wmcelhatton 3 years ago
thank you :)
martinw93 3 years ago
Hey Martin, you made some really great points. I agree with them, and I get what you mean with most of them. The tolerant point was a VERY excellent point! You know, coming out is a process and not really something you do just once...I like your comment at the end! haha..why come out of the closet if there's alot of hot people in there! that was great...
pvampire 3 years ago
Thanks :)
martinw93 3 years ago
wow u sure are confused lol it's cool tho. the thinking behind urging ppl to come out is: There is strength in numbers, we are fighting for our EQUAL rights... also str8 ppl will respect & accept us if they know we exist in their world. we are not a bundle of nasty stereotypes slinking round in the dark. we are family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, humans just like them. also who wants to live a str8 lie? Hey if ur BI great, if ur not great, ur still cute (said it again ;)
sleekcartim 3 years ago
Totally agree :)
martinw93 3 years ago
AHA! so u admit to bein cute! LOL
sleekcartim 3 years ago
oh damn you! you tricked me there :D
martinw93 3 years ago
I knew you'd have to admit your cute sooner or later! haha..
pvampire 3 years ago
If someone does not want to make a coming out vlog..good for them...each to his own. Tolerance is a sticky term....I agree with you.
Just be yourself and not worry. Good vlog.
DouglasUrantia 3 years ago
Thanks man :)
martinw93 3 years ago