Wow, you found a great way making a difference to others. Love your little clips, they're full of positive messages.
And you know what? I avoid all those complaining messages on youtube and even news on TV in the evenings and have a much better sleeping pattern. Thanks again and take care.
I'm sorry, but I can't honestly agree that happiness is as simple as making a choice to be happy. If it was, we'd all be walking around in a state of joy. You can choose a lot of things. What you want for breakfast, who you're going to date, whether to stay home or head out on your day off. But just like love isn't a decision, (Can't choose who you'll fall in love with) happiness isn't one either.
i enjoy your insight and i experience this type of situation from a childhood friend. we knew each other for 3 years and were very close but then i moved to a different area, then later i came back and she was VERY negative and its due to bad events in her life combined wtih her personality and its to the point where i get along with strangers better than with her and i feel bad because i feel like im abondoning her but she's too negative
My Mom is an emotional vampire but I have to talk to her when she calls-or else I'm bad like she has always tried to drum into my soul. How would you deal with this situation?
Coco, it really depends. Some ppl drain you by berating you.. others drain you by making it seem that YOURE berating THEM. If you can tell her the truth, DO, but if not... avoid her and live your daggonne life!
And when she realizes she hasnt spoken to you in a minute and confronts you, TELL HER WHY! Mom you really bring me down. Im young, and I'm NOT SORRY for Living my LIFE. You had your chance and YOURE KILLING ME! Thats not love mom, Goodbye. Call me when you have something positive to say
Both of your resonses are right but especially the one above because she, her and my step dad and step brother try and make me feel quilty for berating them. I don't want to berate them they don't care enough about me for that and I just wish Mom (the only one that calls) would leave me alone as she choose to live with my step dad and my golden child half brother even though her husband hated me openly and berated me constantly as I was growing up.
i don't feel good when i watch your video. i don't feel joy in my life when i'm listening to you. it's because i don't allow people to influence me in such a massive way. thats why neither those emotional vampires have an effect on me nor do you with your construct of happiness
and i think people who say that hapiness is a choice never have been truly happy in their lives, because happiness is a gift and not a choice. calmness, good vibes and being relaxed...those are choices, but not happiness.
thank you for the wisdom ! you have a beautiful spirit and a great calm energy about yourself in your videos it has helped me tremendously with a few people at work and in my present life who are (joy killers) or in your words energy vampires have . do not ever let anyone in this world steal your joy and peace of mind because some us viewers like myself need a small pick me up from someone like yourself . thanks
Thank you for the video! Had a rough day and it was great to hear a calm kind voice for a change! Have a great day, and hope you post more uplifting videos!
Thank you! Everyone talks about how it's the world's fault that their unhappy when really it's a choice you make everyday. For example: Someone calls you a name. You say to yourself "He or she shouldn't have said that because it's hurtful." They are not upsetting you. You are actually upsetting yourself by what that person said. Choice!
Thank you Tonya, I enjoyed this message. Not sure if Emotional Vampires is a common term, but my husband uses it all the time. That is what made me click on this. I am glad I did. This was an uplifting video, thank you again.
Thanks so much for sharing such a positive message. You are SPOT ON. Happiness IS a choice, and life WILL never be perfect. I've watched a few of your videos, and I like what you share with the world. I'm subscribing.
I don't like watching depressing videos. There is one girl in particular who ALWAYS makes depressing videos. I had to stop watching, it was affecting my mood. Ugh =\
Raul midon in his cd called state of mind hase a song that sums up exactly what you said.The song is titled state of mind.Because Life is what you make it,it can be a froun turned upside down. Love you Tonya.
Your spirit is the very reason why I like you so much. You are such a positive person. I was feeling quite down today, After listening to your blog, I feel so much better. Keep up the good work sweety!
PS, I was in BOA today, and I saw a BOA commercial of a women that was in it that had a strong resembleness to you! (LOL)
We can all tell a lot about a person by what they even choose to name themselves, and we can see from your S/N that sadness envelopes you, so much so that you even feel the truth can be sad.
400+ years of slavery happened. So what can you do? Think of it every day so that it eats and ruins you? Or realize that you are a decedent of the strongest, hardest, smartest set of SURVIVORS, your genes were drenched in greatness before you were even born!
This is riddiculous, you should never feign hapiness. Be happy when you're happy, be sad when you're sad. And be whatever you FEEL as long as YOU FEEL LIKE IT. This African girls knows not of what she speaks. Forgive me if she's not African, I was just guessing.
LOL! Not feigned... REAL...real happiness. What are you going to do when your happiness is dependent on how "well" you think things are going, and you realize things aren't right? Nothing's perfect, everything and everyone and every situation could be "improved." Do we dwell on all of the "bad?" Or make a choice to understand we have to see the glass as partially FULL... bcz to concentrate on the part that's empty has no end, There is something "wrong" with everything. Make the choice
BTW Jonie, based on the email you sent me where you were calling me names and insulting my subscribers' base of knowledge compared to my own, I see that you are the only one angered by this bcz you are shunned by the light of knowledge... Just like DRACULA!
Tonya, please have your own show on national television. If that ain't the gospel truth, I don't know what is. I mean it's one thing to feel low and complain for lil while (it's normal) and then do something about your situation, it's another thing to complain about ANYTHING all day, blame the world for your misery while you don't do ANYTHING about it. I know ppl who ALWAYS SEARCH for things to complain about!! I co-sign, Happiness is a choice, life is what you make it!
At it's core I understand what you are saying but it speaks in a way to free will. There are those whom are mentally unstable, bi polar, those whom suffer from manic depression etc. etc., thus their emotional state of mind is at times beyond their control. Or is it? Where is the line of control and non control? As a world community the Truth of this important matter is not focused on as it should be. I believe in order to be a just and righteous society we must endeavor to do such.
Tonya that is not very hopeful :-) we should strive for perfection remember?
I talk about my weight I am not happy about it but I still eat that nice meal when I FEEL like it so I guess it doesn't bother me after all.
as far as someone telling me things and me listening to them, I have no problem with hearing complaining because it teaches you to be more thankful and inturn when you listen I mean really listen like a true friend you never know how you can help that person.(2cents)
fk'ing a! this is the idea! do the best with what you have! mad props to those who make the most with less. this is a killer attitude Tonya, you're a sav! respekt *bumps knuckles*
SadTruth87,I understand what you want to say. Noone is going throu life with joy 365 days a year.Life is not like that,but I think that what Tanya is trying to say here is that if you have a negative attitude instead of a positive,ten it is going to be worse.And your attitude is your choice and responsibillity no matter what!
I do that concert thing on buses if there's loads of seats so you have a choice but the one you choose you start to think...hmm. this could be better, maybe I should move. Just part of human nature I guess..I'd rather there was only one seat left when I get on though! Good for you Tonya cos you def bring love and a little joy to my life : )
I don't mean to come off as if I have lots of regrets cuz I don't ,but when you start to live after living in a void of depression most of your life you make mistakes with people. You lack social skills. Low selfesteem. So sometimes you give pieces of yourself to people who care nothing for you. I don't wanna go into depth ,but I do regret not being a stronger person. maturity comes with age I guess.
I hear you. *Hugs* ..I feel just like that and I'm not even in my 20's but yeah.. I have only just started being happy at 17, I didn't know what it was really.
You got a long way left to live sweetheart, and when you're twice your age at 34, 17 is going to seem so distant and foreign like when you were 5 y.o. Re-Watch my "Too Damn Old" video. You got a lot of living left to do sweetheart. You go up from here... there is vindication in knowing this is the youngest you will ever be. Ride it out, it gets better, it WILL get better, but you have to make a choice.
Hey, why didn't you enter my "Best TonyaTko" contest so you could have won that book I was giving away that helped me out when I was trying to find myself emotionally right after college?
Its called "In the Meantime" By Iyanla Vanzant... & it helped me A LOT from where I was emotionally back in the days.
I'm from the BRONX and it was hard growing up, and I WAS HARD! I am not fully enlightened, but when the lamp of knowledge goes on, you see things that werent there in the darkness
I understand. People or some people expect me to be sad, or mad cuz how i am. Expect me to go hide in the corner and not come out cuz of how i look. Well Everyday I disobey that idea. I go out, with my head high, and with a smile in my heart, which shows on my face. I kid around about things, I laugh, i play, i work like the next man. All because my heart is filed with job, and meekness. Without that, yeah i would be a bitch to be around.
Wow, you found a great way making a difference to others. Love your little clips, they're full of positive messages.
And you know what? I avoid all those complaining messages on youtube and even news on TV in the evenings and have a much better sleeping pattern. Thanks again and take care.
Goldberry2007 1 year ago
dam lol i see u know how the shit works.. keep going
IIbikerII 1 year ago
I'm sorry, but I can't honestly agree that happiness is as simple as making a choice to be happy. If it was, we'd all be walking around in a state of joy. You can choose a lot of things. What you want for breakfast, who you're going to date, whether to stay home or head out on your day off. But just like love isn't a decision, (Can't choose who you'll fall in love with) happiness isn't one either.
NGMonocrom 1 year ago
Thanks Tonya
your insights , the experiences you've shared have brought a sense of piece , a different way to see , happiness is a choice ;-)
guylistener 2 years ago
4:38 random sound in the background
Quiz1master5 2 years ago
thanx, you spread love to me XD. I needed to hear something like this.
mJCacc 2 years ago
wow i really enjoyed this video, very refreshing and true.
buzzmund 2 years ago
real nice girl-sincere
rudy792 2 years ago 3
i enjoy your insight and i experience this type of situation from a childhood friend. we knew each other for 3 years and were very close but then i moved to a different area, then later i came back and she was VERY negative and its due to bad events in her life combined wtih her personality and its to the point where i get along with strangers better than with her and i feel bad because i feel like im abondoning her but she's too negative
AsianHispanic02 2 years ago 3
how true happiness is a choice!
EsotericFantasy 2 years ago
My Mom is an emotional vampire but I have to talk to her when she calls-or else I'm bad like she has always tried to drum into my soul. How would you deal with this situation?
Thanks for your help-
cococatchanel 2 years ago
Coco, it really depends. Some ppl drain you by berating you.. others drain you by making it seem that YOURE berating THEM. If you can tell her the truth, DO, but if not... avoid her and live your daggonne life!
TonyaTko 2 years ago
And when she realizes she hasnt spoken to you in a minute and confronts you, TELL HER WHY! Mom you really bring me down. Im young, and I'm NOT SORRY for Living my LIFE. You had your chance and YOURE KILLING ME! Thats not love mom, Goodbye. Call me when you have something positive to say
Tko
TonyaTko 2 years ago
Both of your resonses are right but especially the one above because she, her and my step dad and step brother try and make me feel quilty for berating them. I don't want to berate them they don't care enough about me for that and I just wish Mom (the only one that calls) would leave me alone as she choose to live with my step dad and my golden child half brother even though her husband hated me openly and berated me constantly as I was growing up.
cococatchanel 2 years ago
im not a pervert or anything but i just realised that YOUR BOOBS ARE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD....im sorry had to say that
Sexiless 2 years ago
And ilex, you just realized you're...
BLOCKED!
-Tko
TonyaTko 2 years ago 3
you rock!
MechMoe 2 years ago
i don't feel good when i watch your video. i don't feel joy in my life when i'm listening to you. it's because i don't allow people to influence me in such a massive way. thats why neither those emotional vampires have an effect on me nor do you with your construct of happiness
and i think people who say that hapiness is a choice never have been truly happy in their lives, because happiness is a gift and not a choice. calmness, good vibes and being relaxed...those are choices, but not happiness.
jtb78fx 2 years ago
thank you for the wisdom ! you have a beautiful spirit and a great calm energy about yourself in your videos it has helped me tremendously with a few people at work and in my present life who are (joy killers) or in your words energy vampires have . do not ever let anyone in this world steal your joy and peace of mind because some us viewers like myself need a small pick me up from someone like yourself . thanks
neberu55 2 years ago
I would say you seem more "stoned " than happy.
But hey, to each his own.
StupidEarthlings 2 years ago
Thank you for the video! Had a rough day and it was great to hear a calm kind voice for a change! Have a great day, and hope you post more uplifting videos!
LithiumNeko 2 years ago 5
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Rest In Peace Tonya.
Your suicide won't stop us from realising your message!
mchenrinson 2 years ago
Neither will yours... But I implore you... Go FIRST!
-Tko
TonyaTko 2 years ago 2
You are right, now if I can only remember that. Great video!!!
peaceloveandHVAC 2 years ago
Thank you! Everyone talks about how it's the world's fault that their unhappy when really it's a choice you make everyday. For example: Someone calls you a name. You say to yourself "He or she shouldn't have said that because it's hurtful." They are not upsetting you. You are actually upsetting yourself by what that person said. Choice!
BayshoreBeautiful 3 years ago 2
You're definitely one of the things I watch when I'm having a bad day. You're videos cheer me up like no other!!
nikkipearlple 3 years ago
Wow... Even I needed to listen to this again. I have turned into one of those ppl complaining on youtube LOL! I better bring it back.
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
I needed to here this! Thank you!
bailey1950 3 years ago
Thank you Tonya, I enjoyed this message. Not sure if Emotional Vampires is a common term, but my husband uses it all the time. That is what made me click on this. I am glad I did. This was an uplifting video, thank you again.
moss1113 3 years ago
Wasn't this an awesome video?? I had to really get on myself about things that are going on in my life...
bailey1950 3 years ago
Thanks so much for sharing such a positive message. You are SPOT ON. Happiness IS a choice, and life WILL never be perfect. I've watched a few of your videos, and I like what you share with the world. I'm subscribing.
GlobellePrize 3 years ago
Good talk. Real talk.
::
Spread love.
sistalinda 3 years ago
47 comments? Well, here's the 48th one!
Hahhaaha! Be happy and be healthy, work for it, earn it, have it gifted to you...whatever, just find it. Be happy!
ShiekUrBooty 3 years ago
Something like that!
Happness is health,a fat ASS bank account,Phunky Princess and other stuff :)
Have a nice day Mrs. Tko.
Dirtywayne80 3 years ago
DW80 loves royalty.
sistalinda 3 years ago
Yes I dooo.
But in love by myself :(
Dirtywayne80 3 years ago
I don't like watching depressing videos. There is one girl in particular who ALWAYS makes depressing videos. I had to stop watching, it was affecting my mood. Ugh =\
MissPrettynCurvy 3 years ago
You met Musiq? Ugh! :oP I think he is a great singer/overall person. That's what he presents anyways, who knows! :oP
You can say that again...NOTHING is perfect. Great video, Tonya! :o)
MissPrettynCurvy 3 years ago
You met Musiq? Ugh! :oP I think he is a great singer/overall person. That's what he presents anyways, who knows! :oP
You can say that again...NOTHING is perfect. Great video, Tonya! :o)
MissPrettynCurvy 3 years ago
You met Musiq? Ugh! :oP I think he is a great singer/overall person. That's what he presents anyways, who knows! :oP
You can say that again...NOTHING is perfect. Great video, Tonya! :o)
MissPrettynCurvy 3 years ago
Wow. This is such a great message. I just love your videos.
denise804 3 years ago
You're always so positive. :)
MBRHIndustries 3 years ago
I am always ecstatically happy
TechPepsi 3 years ago
Raul midon in his cd called state of mind hase a song that sums up exactly what you said.The song is titled state of mind.Because Life is what you make it,it can be a froun turned upside down. Love you Tonya.
mallen4000 3 years ago
These video were right on time..
embracinmyself 3 years ago
agreeee :)
love ya..
onlyoneofme7 3 years ago
agreeee :)
love ya..
onlyoneofme7 3 years ago
Your spirit is the very reason why I like you so much. You are such a positive person. I was feeling quite down today, After listening to your blog, I feel so much better. Keep up the good work sweety!
PS, I was in BOA today, and I saw a BOA commercial of a women that was in it that had a strong resembleness to you! (LOL)
Bronzstar 3 years ago
Thank You Tanya :)
mattisdr 3 years ago
IMHO, regarding the short term, it is possible that you can make other people happy by doing something for them.
However, regarding the long term, it is up to the individual to take ownership of their own well being and happiness.
ShiekUrBooty 3 years ago
I totally agree Tonya 5 stars
LLCOOLWIL 3 years ago
We can all tell a lot about a person by what they even choose to name themselves, and we can see from your S/N that sadness envelopes you, so much so that you even feel the truth can be sad.
400+ years of slavery happened. So what can you do? Think of it every day so that it eats and ruins you? Or realize that you are a decedent of the strongest, hardest, smartest set of SURVIVORS, your genes were drenched in greatness before you were even born!
Your very presence represents RESILIENCE baby!
TonyaTko 3 years ago
True that, Prozac does NOT WORK!!! The only person that can make themselves happy, is THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!
ForFun808 3 years ago
I needed to hear this..
Thank you.
kweencessX 3 years ago
This is riddiculous, you should never feign hapiness. Be happy when you're happy, be sad when you're sad. And be whatever you FEEL as long as YOU FEEL LIKE IT. This African girls knows not of what she speaks. Forgive me if she's not African, I was just guessing.
JonieAuthor 3 years ago
LOL! Not feigned... REAL...real happiness. What are you going to do when your happiness is dependent on how "well" you think things are going, and you realize things aren't right? Nothing's perfect, everything and everyone and every situation could be "improved." Do we dwell on all of the "bad?" Or make a choice to understand we have to see the glass as partially FULL... bcz to concentrate on the part that's empty has no end, There is something "wrong" with everything. Make the choice
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
BTW Jonie, based on the email you sent me where you were calling me names and insulting my subscribers' base of knowledge compared to my own, I see that you are the only one angered by this bcz you are shunned by the light of knowledge... Just like DRACULA!
-TonyaTKOOO!
TonyaTko 3 years ago
Makes no sense but ok.
JonieAuthor 3 years ago
It's music midtown in piedmont park I live in atlanta born and raised
blacktigerwu 3 years ago
YES! MUSIC MIDTOWN! It should be getting ready to happen soon no?
-TonyaTKo
TonyaTko 3 years ago
yep
blacktigerwu 3 years ago
I like when you make these kinds of videos!!!! vERY vERY vERY true!!!
Crystalmuhammad 3 years ago
Thank you tonya, that was very uplifting.
Cybria1 3 years ago
well said Tonya, I try to always stay positive and happy. :)
Oh and I don't like watching people who are having a bad day because I feed off of their energy, so I say kind words to them and move on.
PhunkyPrincess 3 years ago
And you DO! You glow Crys!
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
Tonya, please have your own show on national television. If that ain't the gospel truth, I don't know what is. I mean it's one thing to feel low and complain for lil while (it's normal) and then do something about your situation, it's another thing to complain about ANYTHING all day, blame the world for your misery while you don't do ANYTHING about it. I know ppl who ALWAYS SEARCH for things to complain about!! I co-sign, Happiness is a choice, life is what you make it!
SheRocks07 3 years ago
At it's core I understand what you are saying but it speaks in a way to free will. There are those whom are mentally unstable, bi polar, those whom suffer from manic depression etc. etc., thus their emotional state of mind is at times beyond their control. Or is it? Where is the line of control and non control? As a world community the Truth of this important matter is not focused on as it should be. I believe in order to be a just and righteous society we must endeavor to do such.
ministerabdallah 3 years ago
TRUE WORDS TO LIVE BY......we create our world thru our thoughts words and actions
great vid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MC0090 3 years ago
Tonya that is not very hopeful :-) we should strive for perfection remember?
I talk about my weight I am not happy about it but I still eat that nice meal when I FEEL like it so I guess it doesn't bother me after all.
as far as someone telling me things and me listening to them, I have no problem with hearing complaining because it teaches you to be more thankful and inturn when you listen I mean really listen like a true friend you never know how you can help that person.(2cents)
nevergvup 3 years ago
Piedmont Park on Morland. I know where that is.
ARTHEROPY 3 years ago
THANK YOU!!! I don't know why I couldn't rememebr. Those were the good ole days.
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
nice!
andsanp 3 years ago
fk'ing a! this is the idea! do the best with what you have! mad props to those who make the most with less. this is a killer attitude Tonya, you're a sav! respekt *bumps knuckles*
boooya777 3 years ago
WOW!
Faysalaaa 3 years ago
Amen beautiful! you're divine!
windcu 3 years ago
SadTruth87,I understand what you want to say. Noone is going throu life with joy 365 days a year.Life is not like that,but I think that what Tanya is trying to say here is that if you have a negative attitude instead of a positive,ten it is going to be worse.And your attitude is your choice and responsibillity no matter what!
Astrid270718 3 years ago
;-)
Hey Hunnie... You've got mail
-TONyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
Uh Oh...LOL
mzsuzuki 3 years ago
LOL!!!!
you all are so silly.
=o)
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
I do that concert thing on buses if there's loads of seats so you have a choice but the one you choose you start to think...hmm. this could be better, maybe I should move. Just part of human nature I guess..I'd rather there was only one seat left when I get on though! Good for you Tonya cos you def bring love and a little joy to my life : )
Starlightsixty 3 years ago
I almost wanna cry when I hear the wisdom come from your mouth. You make me think of the things I regret in my life.
EclecticTones 3 years ago
hunny, what type of regrets do you have? You're only 21!
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
I don't mean to come off as if I have lots of regrets cuz I don't ,but when you start to live after living in a void of depression most of your life you make mistakes with people. You lack social skills. Low selfesteem. So sometimes you give pieces of yourself to people who care nothing for you. I don't wanna go into depth ,but I do regret not being a stronger person. maturity comes with age I guess.
EclecticTones 3 years ago
I hear you. *Hugs* ..I feel just like that and I'm not even in my 20's but yeah.. I have only just started being happy at 17, I didn't know what it was really.
kweencessX 3 years ago
You got a long way left to live sweetheart, and when you're twice your age at 34, 17 is going to seem so distant and foreign like when you were 5 y.o. Re-Watch my "Too Damn Old" video. You got a lot of living left to do sweetheart. You go up from here... there is vindication in knowing this is the youngest you will ever be. Ride it out, it gets better, it WILL get better, but you have to make a choice.
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
tonya thank you so much for both parts of these videos you have put things in perspective for me I'm 28 and I still have alot to learn
zellacurry 3 years ago
Hey, why didn't you enter my "Best TonyaTko" contest so you could have won that book I was giving away that helped me out when I was trying to find myself emotionally right after college?
Its called "In the Meantime" By Iyanla Vanzant... & it helped me A LOT from where I was emotionally back in the days.
I'm from the BRONX and it was hard growing up, and I WAS HARD! I am not fully enlightened, but when the lamp of knowledge goes on, you see things that werent there in the darkness
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
Resent evens in my life made me make this comment. But I realize how pointless it is to regret. Mistakes are a part of life.
EclecticTones 3 years ago
I understand. People or some people expect me to be sad, or mad cuz how i am. Expect me to go hide in the corner and not come out cuz of how i look. Well Everyday I disobey that idea. I go out, with my head high, and with a smile in my heart, which shows on my face. I kid around about things, I laugh, i play, i work like the next man. All because my heart is filed with job, and meekness. Without that, yeah i would be a bitch to be around.
Herc250 3 years ago
YESS!! DARLING! YOU got it!
And I'm sure when you see ppl bummed out in lesser situations you're like "WHAAT??"
-TonyaTko
TonyaTko 3 years ago
I am with you on this one Tonya. Happiness is a choice. Smiling is hard sometimes but doing it makes your spirit a lot more joyful.
BigDaleT 3 years ago
Very true!
GETUPRADIO 3 years ago
I absolutely agree Tonya, I really dig your
spirit, please never change. Much love.
Peace/Jaye
jaye56 3 years ago