Patriotic Teen Fails Spanish

[MyPawsAreUp]

"Yeah totally... I've never heard of those guys, but... I'm not gonna do any Spanish shit, and no one's gonna make me."

[SuperWarking]

Hey anyone know where I can find the onion vid about the amish?

[F3FisGoodforYou]

Luckily for America, we have many of those great Patriots in the Republican Party. God Bless America.

[flyersphan111]

The sad thing is that I could actually see Fox News having a story like this.

[rapeasaurus1]

@flyersphan111 true. They did run that story about the teens protesting cinco de mayo and made it seem like they were simply punished for wearing american flag clothes.

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

So like fox taking someones idiocy as being patriotic

[0Heavy0Metal0]

I speak english very goodly.

[tanberetO]

My grandfather served in WW2, my uncle died in Vietnam, my brother and I are both active duty Army but this kid s a true hero. Thank you Kyle Johnson. *Wipes tear from eye*

[gdaddymack1]

the way he keeps a straight face when he says "they can blow me" is cheddar

[WD3kay]

@WittySparrow if you knew this was fake then why would you comment that? no one thinks they "speak american" irl if you didnt know that already :/

[MyIgnorantBliss]

@WD3kay American is simply a lazy and more retarded form of English. Just as most Americans are both lazy and retarded.

[Purplesnow420]

@MyIgnorantBliss Your name says it all. I'm not gonna take your shit, and no one is gonna make me.

[theyXXcallXXmeXXkyle]

@MyIgnorantBliss ya thats why the english endorsed the democratic government that the US formed... asshole

[Purplesnow420]

@theyXXcallXXmeXXkyle America isn't a democracy.

[rapeasaurus1]

@Purplesnow420 not originally but we pretty much made it into to one

[WittySparrow]

"I speak American" NO you speak English you dumb fuck. I know this is fake but still.

[eatmytool1]

@WittySparrow lol... you mad bro?? you don't like it? suck a bag of dicks, fucktard! I speak American

[godlovesallah]

"i speak american" should be "i speak retard"

[DaFleegsta]

@godlovesallah whats the difference?

[SuperMatthewspencer]

well, the Spaniards did the same thing the Brits and French did and they got South America up to Mexico so I don't see why there are all of these "racism" whiners on here... they all come from Europe...

[AwesumHalloweenLuver]

"I Dont Really Care What They Think. Like Their A bunch Of Faggots. They Can All Blow Me" LOL

[nutcrakerz]

HAHAHA!

[Marat9043]

Children of empty vanity! i've thought such children are possible only in Russia...

[rolin600]

Pavlov's children are trained by TV.....

[TheMasterTelevision]

This kid has the most punchable face

[CrystaTiBoha]

seems legit with all that creationism support....

[DougMcFEARson]

This is great.

[Khadijou31]

is this.... real?



[ladypyramidhead]

@Khadijou31 No. If something doesn't seem real, chances are it isn't. Not only that but The Onion is a famous fake news site. Like Fox News.

[rmr355]

I know the Onion usually produces their own news but why did they steal this story from Fox?

[MrBigEnchilada]

lol, never heard of those guys but ya im like one of them....

[nisbahmumtaz909]

"I speak American."

Highly accurate.

[robotpanda77]

I petition that all history books remove all history prior to the foundation of America and replace the pages with a section that says "America, FUCK YEAH!"

[KweliDk]

is this david thompson from imdb.com/name/nm3664430/

[Christfollower29]

Thomas Pain was from England.

[TheMagmagoblin]

@Christfollower29 Thomas Paine was from England.

[RossEStern]

YES

[O0oSorousho0O]

Al Jabr (arabic) = Algebra (english)

Guess arabic maths are unamerican....

[TheMagmagoblin]

@O0oSorousho0O Our entire system of numbers is Arabic. We'd be using Roman numerals without them.

[O0oSorousho0O]

@TheMagmagoblin Still unamaerican! lol :)

[Vilemk0]

L.. O ..fucking.. L!

[SeventhSun]

Kyle hijo de puta basura.



[zabimaru1593]

I didn't take a foreign class and I graduated... Hmmm :/

[RaminHAL9001]

This is EXACTLY like Fox News, they do a story like this every time some holier-than-thou Christian fundamentalist's kids start hating on minorities, defending the holier-than-thou bigots just because they are Christians.

[taledarkside]

@RaminHAL9001

They shouldn't have to change america to please a minority. And you don't have to be religious to hate minorities in fucking up America.

[RaminHAL9001]

@taledarkside I don't know if you realize this, but you are a minority if you think minorities (non-white, non-Christians) are the soul cause of this country's problems.

[taledarkside]

@RaminHAL9001

Liberals are this countries problem. And more than 40% of the population feel this way.

[Max17766]

@taledarkside "Liberals are this countries problem." I say that bad spelling and conservatives are your nation's issues, dumbass.

[taledarkside]

@Max17766

I spelled "countries" correctly. retard. I just used the wrong word.

you must be a liberal that voted for Obama.

[claton95]

@taledarkside you realize that people from other countries DON'T vote in American elections, don't you? They vote for their own leaders in their own countries.

[RaminHAL9001]

@taledarkside "If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month." -- Theodore Roosevelt.

The real problem with this country is more that 40% the population are so lazy, they would rather sit on their ass watching Fox news and listening to talk radio for excuses to blame everything on Liberals instead of actually trying to solve their own damn problems.

[taledarkside]

@RaminHAL9001

oh look a conspiracy theorist liberal. Inventing facts for his agenda.

So according to you unemployment is at 60% in America. ROFL

[RaminHAL9001]

@taledarkside

No, like I said, according to me, 40% of America is too lazy to solve their own problems, and would rather blame liberals for their problems because it's easier than actually doing something about it.

You think liberals have an agenda, and you're calling me a conspiracy theorist? Liberals favor certain policies over others, that doesn't make it an agenda, it is just politics.

[bluewhale18]

I'm proud to say i signed the petition

[wilfaylazycat]

they need to do this at my school

[agilitydogtrainer1]

Is this real omg wow at the end it a little hard to belive

[bryoneill11]

@agilitydogtrainer1 yes its real, dont you watched on Fox News?

[ZZzzzzzWhat]

don't learn spanish bcs it's not patriotic

don't learn biology bcs evolutionary theory contradicts christianity

don't learn Algebra bcs its name is from arabic origins and arabs are terrorists

don't learn geography bcs there are only two countrys, USA and the rest of the world

don't learn music bcs Metallica already done it

[JxKITCH]

1:14, I dont care what they think, they're all faggots so they can blow me. lolol

[N00BSLINGER]

he speaks america

[N00BSLINGER]

@N00BSLINGER ?

[Iroflmaozable]

I salute you sir!!!

[sophblue]

Spoil

[sophblue]

He is not patriotic , that all he just didnt want to learn spanish and at snch

[MegaHolymacaroni]

@sophblue Youre a fag

[LucaviAD]

This kid deserves a medal.

[marshmallowthreat1]

I was like "Ohh he's gonna flip off the camera, isn't he? OHH HE DID IT!"

[Killumanatic]

I bet a lot of people that learned Spanish never needed it for their careers, especially since there's more Hispanics that know English.

[TheHm3]

People who thinks The Onion is real is smarter than those who think Fox is real! :O

[Oozy9Millimeetah]

epic

[shiznid12]

He's the dorky scared wrestler kid from Win-Win.

[darknessofkrish]

I failed spanish 4 times and I don't even like america..

[dumapies]

sigh..i wish this was true. Fuck spanish.

[Aerba54]

To buy: buy-o.  LOL

[iwannabepresident]

"They're a bunch of faggots so,um,they can all blow me."

[millyybabess]

Lol I actually thought this was serious for a second! 'I speak American!' lol

[GuineaForce]

hahahaha I had the same thing with my french, but I live in England.

[NonnProductions]

This must be a joke.

[ACIeverName]

@NonnProductions It's not.

[123212go]

@NonnProductions no, "The Onion" is a subsidiary of Fox News.

[bluewhale18]

Stay strong Kyle

We believe in you

Keep speaking american

[SoldierofFortune07]

@bluewhale18 YEAH!!! AMERICAYAYE

[ArcticInfinity]

1:15 lol

[bunpeininja]

I've been watching a boatload of Onion videos of late, and this is definitely one of the very best of the lot. The kid's acting is phenomenal, and Jean Anne Wharton's knowing nods always crack me up. Brilliant work!!

[liltweeky88]

Lmao, speak american....

[elurseeknay]

wow they get great actors

[goddardsucks]

@KingDusk278: because this country was founded by immigrants & foreigners

[KingDusk278]

This video has a point why should you be forced to learn a foriegn lanuage when you live in a country that mainly speaks english.

[tdurran]

@KingDusk278 The video does indeed have a point, and you've completely missed it.

[buscotrabajo28]

@KingDusk278 mainly not exactly , because the biggest community is latin who talk spanish, and the most american continent speak spanish mainly, in the future usa will become more bilingual country as Canada. it is logical spanish is a way to communicate with the rest of continent. learn from canada, or brasil who know two languages that enrich a nation

[stigoblogg]

@KingDusk278 Yeah! Why bother learning a new language, when you can't even write english with punctuation?

[HarrisonRocks]

@KingDusk278

Its called an "education" for a reason y'know.

Also its good to learn other languages as you also get a good sense of that countries culture and heritage and develop a better understanding of other people and their nations. Internet age, multiculturalism and all that stuff.

[radioactivecakeX]

@cherrychick25 Either you are extremely stupid or the a troll

[BroodjeEend]

better news, better viewers. fuck yea!

[patriotofliberty1776]

@cherrychick25 You're really dense aren't you?

[Leroysification]

I honestly feel like I just watched Fox News.

[TheShodan2004]

"he classmates dismissed him as being obnoxious and a moron"

haha quality stuff :D

[ZhangtheGreat]

@TheShodan2004, obviously he didn't care, since they're all a bunch of fags and could blow him =P

[Dakukobura]

@cherrychick25 He acts like a douchebag because he's ACTING.

[Dakukobura]

"Um, you know, I don't really care what they think. Like, they're a bunch of faggots, so, uh, they can all blow me."

[BlackAngusYoung]

@cherrychick25 I don't know if your comment is real or a joke? but thanks for the opportunity to throw random question marks around. That was awesome. Or was... ? ... it!:

But you're truly my bestie since you somehow managed to make this video even funnier. (When I start my sentence with "but," I really mean "and.") LOL nope!

[impetuoushegel]

@apostolicpianogirl3 Well, I'm really nitpicking, but initially they began mistakingly calling the natives of the American continents Indians. That was over five hundred years ago and people are still doing it... The Native Americans never lived in India, and aren't Indians....

[sommk6107]

A true American hero.

[apostolicpianogirl3]

to be buntly honest the idians were the first americans we are just the decendents so if you really can't speak another llanguage your truely can't say your an american

[MARMOTEER1423]

lol i watched this on the family computer and my mum was literally freaking out in the background. I guess she thought this was serious.

[Canadianloyalist123]

I am English and I speak american.

[TheEvilpotatoking]

I'm sure Spanish isn't the only thing he failed

[maximum7788]

hope she got deported too

[neozeonsolid]

the United States does not have a official language

[ComputerPredator]

lol on his test:

Q: to buy

A: buy-o

Q: to give

A: taco

[sstrawwberry]

rooofl

[purplederple]

AMERICAN HERO! THIS KID NEEDS TO BECOME PRESIDENT TO SAVE AMERICA!!!!!

[ihazkittens]

Speaking seriously, the reason so many Americans can only speak English is because in school they teach other languages the total opposite of how it's supposed to be learned naturally. Think about it; have you ever seen a three year old pick up a text book and study conjugations, vocabulary, and common phrases? No, and yet we force our students to learn it that way. Well, let's be serious they're not actually learning anything because the way we teach it will never stick in their minds. So sad.

[jokuihmehyyppa]

@ihazkittens That's exactly how it's taught in pretty much every country. Don't try to blame it on the method, buddy.

[grisflyt]

@ihazkittens That's why nobody speaks English as second language, right?

[bitemedelilah]

The fuck is this lol

[shadowwolf1918]

This is still more true than Fox News.

[AHeitzmann1995]

@cherrychick25

You do realize that Onion News is fake don't you? It doesn't take a fucking brain surgeon to find that out. It's satirical and thats what makes it funny. They obviously impersonate and make fun of the dumb conservative pricks over at fox news. And "Onion News" really? You shouldnt have to think so hard after that.

[DistortedCookie]

@AHeitzmann1995 Some people are just thick. She can't even type/spell properly, she's probably just a 12-year-old n00b, lol.

[ChiefKnockahomer999]

So i stood up and told that teachin lady, "The only 3 letters i need to know are U, S, and A."

[shadowwolf1918]

@ChiefKnockahomer999

I telled mah taco laneguig teachur tuday, if english was good enuff fer Jesus,its good enuff fer me, now gatdangit.

[DeathToNeoCons]

@cherrychick25

Ever heard of the term SATIRE?

Dude you don't get the joke, don't you?

[Oblivionpierce]

@jjklliop It's a fake news parody. Apparently the non American (you) was the fucktard in this situation.

[sagaciospianoman]

@Oblivionpierce I am not American. I understood the joke.

[Oblivionpierce]

@wiba8888 Fake news comedy... A non American was too stupid to understand the joke.

[alsancle]

@cherrychick25 everything on the onion news network is a joke... he is an actor

[godlessmaximus]

@cherrychick25

The Onion is satire. The articles in the print edition are pretty amusing.

[awsomosaurus995]

@cherrychick25 You must be new here.

[Macabresque]

@cherrychick25 The Onion is a parody news network. lol.

[blackice214]

Well we will have to learn chineese because this country is going down rapidly,oh well great countries always fall i guess its our time.

[ghostdog6220]

Ya! Fuck the mexicans !

[Vladswell]

'MERICUH FOOK YEAH!

[patriotofliberty1776]

Hell yeah! Fuck Mexicans!

[crystalcutie777]

BYE SPANISH

[crystalcutie777]

I AM following his footsteps!

[PoreoNoodleQuest787]

"ya know i dont really care what they think. like, theyre a bunch of faggots so uh, they can all blow me.."

[ScientistSoundSytem]

He truly does remind me of beavis and butthead

[madmonkey914]

Beavis and Butthead's third wheel!!

[Chrystalviolin]

loooool.. guys calm down.... its TheOnion... x] people are getting so worked up loool

[fpealvarez]

Gringos... invade the whole world and they don't want to learn more than one language ...

[1990LIGHT]

@fpealvarez shut up mexicn go eat a fat pig aka your wife

[Dandramere]

@fpealvarez Actually it was the British that invaded the whole world...XD

[TheNingishzida]

@fpealvarez why would we need to learn 2nd white language if we dont want to, shit dude your people didnt even learn spainsh correctly

[flyersphan111]

I saw the title, thought right away that it was it was the onion, then laughed.

[hoosierhiver]

I've watched this video before, but Youtube keeps recommending that I watch it again.

[bluewhale18]

guy's a hero

[bonbonboys21]

I love this kid

[dog2man1994]

Why should i speak "Mexican" I wanna speak American.

[ane404738]

Lmao I Am American, i speak american?  looks like he not only fails at spanish but everything else 2

[quelorepario]

"I am American, I speak American"

[DarthChess]

This was the last decent Onion video. Shame.

[sid8980]

Ah ok, this is a comedy sketch no way anyone is this retarded

[wheresmycrownyo]

@sid8980 A whole website dedicated to people who think the onion is real, literallyunbelievable(dot)org

[pman123]

OH MY GOD I HAD LAURA MILLER AS A SPANISH TEACHER IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

FAILED THAT BITCHES CLASSES 2 YEARS IN A ROW GO AMERICA.

[midgetman655]

My name is Kyle Johnson lol

[songmage1]

All hail the Onion!

[stillw3]

@songmage1 amen to that...

[RedSkiesMusic]

"I never heard of those guys but uh yeah I'm not gonna do any a spanish shit"

[bigplatinumdonkey]

we should also learn Ebonics too satisfy the Negroes

[gb6710]

@bigplatinumdonkey But Newt says we, as Americans, shouldn't learn the language of the ghetto, but the language of prosperity.

[grffnchn65]

@gb6710 newt is an idiot

[gb6710]

@grffnchn65 Really? Who would have know?

[Brizeaku]

@gb6710 Spanish is spoken in the Ghettos. English is spoken by the prosperous. Coincidence?

[gb6710]

@Brizeaku English is spoken in the Ghetto. Coincidence?

[Brizeaku]

@gb6710 Spanish; however, is not spoken outside of the Ghetto. Coincidence?

[mattyfromcali]

@Brizeaku Yeah, everyone knows about those terrible ghettos in Spain.

[gb6710]

@Brizeaku Spain is a Ghetto?

[5431marie]

@Brizeaku Wow, I am so very happy I am not as ignorant as you

[Liberalshinigami]

@bigplatinumdonkey "to", not "too"

[pink2bluee]

LMFAO.

But sadly, people like him actually exist.