Strawberry Letter 12: My boyfriend, Her HUSBAND!

[msbberrygirl09]

He lied to her. If she knew he had a wife maybe she wouldn't of devoloped feelings. Married men are off limits I agree but he made the vows to his wife. Somethings are easier said than done. If you haven't been through it. Women should never fight over a man.

[bossbitchdiva]

damn your deep

[sugarfreenow]

girrrl you opened up some eyes and ears!

[godsgift8687]

SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPWNS ALL THE TIME ...... ITS OK 2 MOVE ON PEOPLE HAVE FA MILIES , AS U CAN SEE , SO GET YASELF 2GETHER AND KEEP PRESSIN

[thomikab]

God dont bless no mess

[TONIAG03]

PREACH!!! WELL SAID TRUE WORDS SPOKEN

[TONIAG03]

UNDER NO CIRCMSTANCES SHOULD ANY WOMAN WANT TO BE WITH ANOTHER WOMANS HUSBAND NOR MAN, ITS SELFISH AND PLUS I FEEL LIKE AS A WOMAN YOU ARE DEGRADING YOURSELF. AS A WOMAN YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT ARE YOU NOT WORTHY OF BETTER ASK YOURSELF THAT? I KNOW I DESERVE BETTER..... SO WHO WOULD WANT TO BE WITH A MAN WHO HAS A WIFE? I PRAY FOR THE WOMEN WHO GO THROUGH THAT SHIT. THE OTHER WOMAN WILL ALWAYS BE THE OTHER YOU SHOULDN'T WANT THAT

[Mimi10283]

Besides you saying that "God wouldn't give you someone else husband", I think the most powerful thing is when you said, "Why would you want to be his wife when you can see how he treats his wife..." SSSSOOOOOO TRUE!!!! OMG!!!!

[tabbykat329]

No, one should judge this woman. You don't know the circumstances behind closed doors. I've known several women who are now married due to this type of relationship. Men do this all the time. Look at Alicia Keys, Monica, Fantasia...I could go on and on. It's not right but it is what it is.

[rue2themax]

@tabbykat329 I see your examples but I bet you that in time if not already those relationships will fall apart

[memelololuvs1012]

I AM 21 AND I NEED YOU TO DO A STRWBERRY LETTER FOR ME.

OK SO I STILL GO TO COLLEGE AND THERE IS TWO BOYS THAT I LYK(JERIMAH AND DEVONTE]WELL I LIKED JERIMAH FOR A L O NG! TYM AND I THINK HE LYKS ME TO...B U T!I DIDNT LYK DEVONTE!I HAVE A HABIT OF WHO EVER AKS ME OUT I START TO FALL FOR THEM SO TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO

-LORA

[mallettryx03]

please do a tutorial for this style

[Kinkycurlycoil]

I'm late but GREAT message! thumbs uP!

[4u2nv29]

Of course he has his cake and eating it too. I agree 100% with you. I hate when women confront/blame each other...why don't we just DEAL with the MAN and stop making it like the man is gold. If hes not acting right n treating you right then he's Not a good man. A Good man would not do this to his wife and you. Also this is a lot of stress n confusion for the children. OMG why do we think we can change a man. change ourselves n make our own life better.

[MilliMANGO4560]

I agree with this 100% I have had a few friends in the same circumstance... and have tried to explain it the same way... but was soo "crunk" on it... i exploded! Cudos for calming down and explaining it soo well (I need to do that next time)... =)

Well done!

[2GirlsOneWorld]

oh my goodness! i cannot wait until this update.

I couldn't even watch this video the whole way the 1st time through bc I was getting upset! I want so much better for her, and I don't even know her. I truly hope she sees her worth

[LibraDiva87]

im mad as hell to why do women do these things to them selves uuughhh for real tell'em gurl!!!!! tellll eemmm!!!!

[RootsRunDeeep]

hes DEAD wrong *FIRST*..the mistress always get blamed harder than the dog-especially by other women and i disagree with that.other than that- i agree with the premise of your advice.

[Mandy4610]

Word, word wooorrrrd!

[Reicya]

AMEN!!! 7 years later & neither of you adults are any closer to resolving this. If for no one else but your daughter you must move on. He has been having his cake & eating it too for a longggg time. It's time you send him to the bakery because yours should be closed. We are praying for you!

Shalom & Blessings!

[Nanadsyl]

This girl is in denial. She wants to be his "wife". Why??!! So she can be the cheated on wife. He is a dog and will do what ever he wants with whom ever he wants. Both ladies need to move on. This guy is totally out for himself.

[Crusha70]

"Check her own man"....oh please!

[BeeNaturalMe]

BronzeGoddess "SPEAK"! say that... not god given

[jkalm4ofus]

BG01, I so appreciate what you shared, with deep conviction. I pray she hears you and masters herself.

[hnygirl979]

Also, do not get into shouting matches or altercations with his wife. She is not the problem. He is. Avoid contact with her. Be a lady, keep your dignity intact at all times. Do not have interactions with her because she is not the one who has hurt you. She is hurting just like you.. Though she may try to lash out at you for being with her husband ,you must not respond and you must end this with him with clear boundaries so he can be a father to his daughter but THAT'S IT. Meant with love.

[mrsexehall]

Woo! Rewind.... 1) How did you not knw he was married? 2) Did you visit his house? 3) how is he able to spend enough time with you. for you to feel he is your man? 4) How do you know he is not sleeping with someone else? Your dancing by his music. Put him on child support. Pray for the strength to fall out of love as quick as you fell in love with him. Pray & Run honey...

[hnygirl979]

BG, This was some beautiful advice you gave her. To her I want to say, take back your life. You are too beautiful to be treated this way. Seven years committment to what? He is not yours and he has proven this. Besides, you don't need a liar and a cheater in your life. You can have someone in your life who loves and deserves you. Free yourself up so that you will have room in your life for him when you find each other.

[foxynae]

I really don't think she loves this man....I think she just doesn't love herself!

[prisskitajoe]

WOW! I really don't have any thing more profound to say then what's already been said. She is wrong on so many levels. She's the woman that "us" married women fear. The type of woman to knowingly be with someone else's husband. Just shameful.

[RootsRunDeeep]

@prisskitajoe "you" married women should have no "fear" as long as you are not marrying a dog.

[prisskitajoe]

@RootsRunDeeep That's true, we should worry unless our husband's are dogs and would cheat anyway. Well said.

[lautisha]

Wow that's a crazy situation!! 7 years in lie that's hard! She faces the reality by saying that she will always be the girl not the wife!

Dear I just want to tell you, you have to move on! 7 years later he still with her that means he will never change his status for you! I know it will hurt to sweep away 7 yrs of your life,but you have to think about your child, when she gets older can she deal with this situation?knowing that her father got another family?Just think about it!

[Oralaige]

People perish for the lack of knowledge!

[streeteyes28]

That man will never be yours, because he was never yours to being with..

I love you Strawberry Letters

[mslynnn]

I know someone exactly like this. She's been with this married man for more than fifteen years and has two kids by him. The wife knows about her. She didn't leave him after she found out he was married, and she said oh I know I will love him until the day I die. He is the love of my life. I hate to see someone so special let herself be used by that man. He's not worth it. Really not, because he used to beat her very badly too.

[249money]

Gosh I really love you and all of you videos and you give so much great information. I

mean you speak with so much wisdom for such a young woman and you and I both know that wisdom like this at such a young age comes from GOD.

[Samchat123]

This man has stolen 7 years of your life on a lie. 7 years that you can NEVER get back. 7 years that could have been spent with your OWN husband. 7 years that could have been spent totally happy and in love with a man that TRULY loves you. 7 years of missed wedding anniversaries. Don't let it be 8...

[FyshandGrits]

preach. i got nothin else to add.

[LadyRene100]

lil kid shouldve been like my kids n snitched,must've had tht kid full of gifts i hope she got tested hopefully cause he can do it elsewhere because us women dont pay attention 2 God we see all the things im still changin, im a work in progress lol

[aprildh504]

Amen!

[jazzijami]

Great vid. U speak the truth

[swright1104]

Very truthful! Truthfully, women need to learn their worth so they won't be in situaitons like this. I hope the woman who wrote you learn from what you told her.

[dreadedbeauti]

WOW....7 years?!?! wats wrong with women now adays...she coulda met her husband had she not been tied down to tht fool...smh ladies ya'll are making it easy for men to take advantage...

[Kishwick]

love this video. you are so wise

[RacquelNM]

You are so right about both of them not being a victim anymore. Speak the truth BG!!

Wow, you shared some really great words in this video.

[gonatonmay52009]

All I can say is AMEN!!

[fatimama7]

Brilliant video, brilliant advice god bless x

[travellady68]

Speak it Speak IT. Child support honey and move on. You might as well be living in the same house sharing him by days like a plural marriage. Bad father for your daughter he is not a good parent to allow this for your child. God don't bless no mess. What goes around will come around if you don't put an end to this. Karma is mother. Don.t let this man continue to make a fool out of you.

[TheLady2054]

@BronzeGoddess01 ...this comment is for u...plz, don't worry about stepping on people's toes as long as u continue to be in line with the Word of God. So many times we hesitate about what really NEEDS to be said, but in fact, there's no real nice way to say it. U were on point n I'm constantly reminded why I subbed to u-ur spirit registers so sweet and genuine! U continue to uplift these women (and those men who dare to get an opinion first). U are right on time for them. PEACE & BLESSINGS~

[bionca22]

This is the problem with a lot of women, we don't want to hear the truth! He lied about being married. The minute she found out, she should have left him...........bottom line. I have seen a girlfriend wait on the side line for her "man" to get divorced, years later she got married to him and she is trying to be so happy! The same thing he did to his previous wife he will do to her............this is a mess!

[adihsar]

@Bejewelle The LAST thing she should do is replace him immediately with another man. She needs to cut this off, bandage her wounds, let them heal, develop her self-esteem/worth/image (by looking in the right mirror- God) and then FINALLY when the time is right and her true mate is revealed to her go for it. 

[ajsgma]

I couldn't have said that any better myself =)

[nocturne1980]

Even if he leaves his wife, he is not worthy to be a husband to ANY one. He will most likely continue his behavior with the next wife. You can NOT make a home with some elses husband. The wife I understand more than the others, not that I condone. This man doesn't really care for anyone but himself. Repentance is a MUST. The wife could be trying to save the marriage and forgive him, hoping he will stop. He will not stop though, nor will he leave his wife. I pray that God changes all hearts.

[Tabbatha35]

You are right! Thats Real Talk! Shame on both of them for continuing to be with this lying man. Sad! She the girlfriend needs to step out of the picture. He is married. She needs to definitely move on.

[RebelMakeUp]

Great video and good advice, unfortunately we both know that in these situations it probably wont make any difference, they will continue doing what they are doing. xxx

[zunefreakster]

You have stated the truth so well once again! Love watching these because you give great advice and this is a great way to learn from other people's mistakes. I hope this woman makes the right choice!

[pmtembo1]

Thank you ,I needed to hear this myself....

[916simone]

Run, Run, Run, In time you will get over him. I know the bond and attachment is strong because you two have a child together but please do it now. Even if he did leave her for you your relationship wont be any better than the one he left you for. God dont like ugly and nothing good will ever come out of a relationship that starts out like that. I know it is easier said than done. God will give you the strength you need. Been there done it. You can do it too.

[angeewells]

if he does leave her and marries you then someone else will be the girlfriend and you will be the wife. he is a liar and you knew. he was lying thats why your radar went off.

you have to leave him. im not saying its going to be easy but its right. being right isnt always easy. who say it would be.

this sounds bad but hes a dog! sorry.

[RLC8093]

After all said and done, 9 times out of 10 she's still gonna be with him.....She really needs to start loving herself....eventually she "MIGHT" leave but I doubt it would be any time soon.....my advice to her is to PRAY PRAY PRAY until your situation changes...but you have to really want out of the situation

[MrandMrsT]

Why are you still with him? He is married and has been the entire time he's been with you. He is NOT a wonderful father. He is a liar, cheater and you have wasted 7 years with someone else's husband. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? Leave him alone.

[keyondraa]

Powerful, "god will never give you someone eleses man" so true!

[twinnchicago]

so sad that people actually send you letters for advice !! this is truly not rocket science.....praying for that sister....

[mpenny226]

she is afraid to leave him? no sweetie, you are afraid to be alone. I fully agree God would never GIVE you someones husband. He has no part in foolishness. How can she trust him when he doesnt even honor his own vows? Amen Sis Amen. Girl....run run run in the opposite direction from this situation. If not for your sake, do it for your childs sake.

[Shellz194]

Dang, when you first started to respond to the letter, I felt hurt for the girl to hear that; but you are right God isn't messy. Good job.

[nappydreads111]

You said that SISTAH! Great advice.. She can't be mad at the truth:)

[nappywriter]

real talk, man. She need to let him go.

[terri318]

Advice on point!! Who's to say that he has more woman besides the two of them!!

[shericelinton]

girl u hit the nail on the head.... if after seven years he's still with the wife he was never planning on leaving her.... more strawberry letters please!!!!!! stay blessed

[TheNaturallyou]

girl, you covered it all, truly when we as women start to value ourselves and love us first before we allow the love of a man in, is when the blessing of the man that God created especially for us will manifest itself

[ChooChoogirlelle]

Dang...she said 7 years. She gotta STOP IT NOW! He is Never gonna leave, he is having his cake and eating it. He would be a fool to leave. He got it made. Get a backbone, take responsibility for actions and your child and move on! You don't want to b anything with him. Not a wife or girlfriend. HE IS A LIAR AND A CHEAT! You and your child deserve so much better. Sister-girl, WAKE UP!

[AblessedQueen]

Very well said....and i think that if she respects u enough to ask for ur advice she will listen to it.....god bless...well done.....

[LoLiTa283]

You sure know how to give SOUND ADVICE. You must be Gods daugther...opps I no you is... goo head girl...Preach and keep em coming, I learn from these and how you view these situations.

[Vanurse09]

Well said girl, I hope she hears the message your words are golden. Be Blessed!!

[future2331]

She needs to understand that a man child will push their limits until you set the boundaries. Obviously he is not mature and 'manly' enough to realize how wrong this is. So she has to let him know what she will tolerate. Bottom line if she is not happy in this situation then she needs to move on because it WILL not get any better. She will NEVER be the wife. Just the 'piece' on the side. SO SAD..!!!

[ninetakesten]

It's super grimy that he would bring his son around and try to spread his mess to the next generation. Even if he left his wife for her, why is she sure that she won't be the one sending the "leave my man alone" email? It's crazy how sometimes people need someone else's opinion on their nonsense. She knows what she needs to do.

[aneikaah]

Please do a tutorial on this make-up. You are amazing!

[finey23]

gurl i have to give u props, glad u didnt sugr coat his. its as plain as day that if he doesnt value his commitment to his wife how the hell would he value u when they took oath before god. i feel i for her since its seven years, but i'll be damn if i make another human being make me feel powerless. real talk. finey

[tjbmom123]

Girl u r good, perhaps you could be a counselor that cooks on the side/motivational speaker.

[khalilahinjapan]

A child needs two parents. Why is it so normal in America for children to be part of one parent homes? As a kid growing up, i think it would have been an impossible task to raise a child on your own. I think this is the reason the usa has such a messed up social structure.

[khalilahinjapan]

@khalilahinjapan oh one more thing... lol If people waited till marriage to be sexually involved with that person it would solve so many problems...not all but most. If this lady had waited then she wouldnt be with a child out of welock with a man who is a liar. Its sad that there is a man like this, a sorry  trifling man who is like an animal, sleeping around and putting his children in broken homes.

[MrsBornToBeAStar]

You should really be a motivational speaker for these young women today they are so confused. They think right is wrong, and wrong is right.

[MrsBornToBeAStar]

I think a lot of women watch too much of the media like when Alicia Keys ended up with Swizz Beats. Turn the media off!!! This is real life we are real people. For one, a women should never mess with a married man. If your in a situation where you have had a BABY! with a married man, if the man does not divorce his wife and makes everything correct, he does NOT! truly love you. BronzeGoddess you give the best advice. It seems like a lot of men are acting this way now days.

[livinmybestlife]

Super advice!

[joy30906]

Seven years!!! I know a woman that was with a married man for many years. Probably more than seven. She would sit around and wait on him. Well his wife got sick and passed away. Do you think they are together and happy now? Heck no!! He does not want to make her his wife! And now she is sick and he is no where to be found. LEAVE that MARRIED man alone! That is almost a decade of your life being second. Don't you want to be the only one? You can do better. Excellent advice Bronze!

[karbari]

Sometimes I think that women make silly things like "stealing someone's husband" into a self-esteem contest. Like if they win the man in the end, then they are something to be treasured and respected. But they don't realize that they are fighting for a prize that isn't valuable at all. It's like competing for a piece of dog poo - acting like it's a diamond. Women need to realize that self esteem comes from with in. Never place something that delicate and valuable in someone else's hands!

[kshel104]

Great video ! Agree 100 %

[RoyalEleven2]

gurl u absolutely rock!!! i love this advice..everything u said was so true. i was in a very similar situation.....she was christmas....i was new year's.....and God alone knows how much i cared about him and wanted things to be different.....but the day came when i jus gave up....couldnt do that to myself anymore...know i deserve more.

[vgreenlpn]

After all that do u still want to be the wife????????

[ikkinnikk]

My eyes watered. You told her.That's sad :(.

[Japan1fan]

Now you know this is some DEEP FOOLISHNESS!!!! SMH There's nothing for me to say. You have covered it. She needs to transition their relationship to focus on what the two of them can do for their daughter ONLY!!! There are plenty of men who would love to date her who are not only genuine but also single. No wives attached.

[Nitra813]

Im so glad you said what you said at @9:28 well said. I wish more people would understand the difference between a married man and a real Godly committed Husband. If God didnt bring him to commit to you then hes not yours!

[themukisa11]

well said!

[miacbeam]

The first thing for you to do is to end that relationship. If he is cheating on her with you, what makes you think he won't cheat on you if he ever leaves her. He does not love you, if he is using you like this. A real woman is worth more than being used as the third wheel, or a "mistress" to a married man. The most important things that you need to do is to pray to God for forgiveness, and ask the wife for forgiveness.

[ybernard97]

The very first thing you should do is end it. Change your door key and let him know that your relationship with him is just father of my daughter. Next you need to go to the wife and ask forgiveness. Lastly you need to apologize to your daughter for being a terrible example for her. Explain to her that things are going to change and that she comes first before anything. Pray to God for a new beginning and take sometime to be by yourself! 

[nae0420nae]

I can't believe she could allow this to go on for SEVEN years. We as woman must realize our worth and not allow these men to treat us any kind of way!!! The are only gonna do what we allow them too. Get out while you can...don't wait another 7 years!! Great real advice!! I Love you strawberry letters!!

[drroberson4]

Whew!!!!!! You told her the truth, BronzeGoddess01!!!!! Lord have mercy... Be blessed, dear!!!

[cynmille2000]

She knows that what she is doing is wrong, she sure didnt need advice on this. She is a home wrecker and she deserves what she gets. let me say this to her a man will only do what you allow him to do. I think you gave her great advice.

[septemberlove04]

I really hope that you wrote this letter in hopes that you would use the advice given to you as a platform to begin regaining your life and start the process of moving on without him. Check your priorities. Stop putting anymore time into trying to make something that's so wrong so right, and start investing that time into yourself and being an good example for your daughter. Get right with yourself, seek God's will, and let him direct your path. You deserve more so start living like you do.

[boboHuman]

I agree with what you said. This lady has to realise that her boyfriend is blocking her blessing. The whole time she is giving her energy to him, she isn't open to meeting the partner who is truley meant to be for her. And that true partner is out there!!

[brownbutterflie]

Okay, this relationship has gone on for seven years? And 5 of those went by before she found out he was married??? This man is either very talented or these Ladies are entirely too lenient. Either way, as heartbreaking as it is, she has got to make a change. Life without him has got to be better than life with part of him. It's got to be hard to be in this situation so don't give him anymore years. Give them to someone who deserves them.

[wladytray]

U TOLD HER RITE!!!!!But what stuck in my head is what Big Mama always said IF U LIE U WILL DO ANYTHING!!!!!He NASTY! & by staying so is she. God id nowhere in this he not gonna give u a husband that blongs to someone else..U found out @ an inoppotune time that he was married but now u livin a LIE rite by his side...Uowe it 2 urself & ur daughter 2 leave cuz sating is NOT an OPTION! It will hurt but u will b ok rome wasn't built n a day But n due seasonu will get over him...Raise ur bar hun

[BeautysBlueprint]

How trifling is this guy!? The fact that you're hearing conflicting stories from the BOTH of them, that should be a red light. Don't feel like you're stuck, don't feel like you can't start over. He obviously doesn't care enough for you to respect you and your child. It's a shame that it even got that far -- you should've dropped him the minute you found out he was double dippin. Girl, run far away -- stop settling for trash and go wait for the prince God made for you!

[SweetBeatCafe]

This comment is to the author of the letter: I agree with bronzegoddess that u have stopped being the victim and became an enabler however just like she said that the other women should have checked her husband instead of contacting u and telling u to leave him u do not need to apologies to the other women. U didn’t make those vows with her when they got married so u don’t owe her an apology however u definitely need to leave him if u respect yourself and child.

[Buddhalocks]

You told her the right way! I hope she takes your advice and this experience as a lesson. Great video!

[musicmadstar]

I have nothing extra to add to what you just said because you're absolutely right!

I just wanted to say the woman who wrote the letter was definitely right at the beginning, you are an insipiration. I started watching your videos because I started my locs last week and love yours (still do!) but your advice is definitely something I look forward to. And you stay so grounded as well! Thank you so much, keep it up and be blessed! :)

[prettyinpink97]

Honestly that is pure stupidity and there is no way possible you can deal with a man who lied to you. He then tells you oh yeah im married. That was her window of opportunity to leave, instead she kept living that way. That fact that the wife accepts this is awful..where is everyone's morals???? They might as well be polyamorous. She's afraid to move on!!!!!! Is she serious???She is going to hit rock bottom when he leaves her if she doesnt leave him. But I honestly think she wont leave. Sad.Sad

[msalkapone09]

Well said!!! She needs to love herself more then what she does.. She is setting the example for her daughter.. She needs to leave him alone and after 7 years, it wont be easy but it must be done. Pray that god forgives her and help her get out of this mess she is in.. The dude wants his cake and eat it too, dont let him..

[fullsexytrini]

wow...... you said it well

[BabyGirlGoddess]

she should leave him and so should his wife.

if he cheats on her, he would cheat on you.i know i wouldn't stay with a guy who cheats. if he made the promise to me that he would stay with me( and i would be his one and only) 'til death do us part....he better keep it. times may get tough, but that doesn't give someone the excuse to cheat on their spouse. cheating is the easy path. it doesn't give a husband a right to cheat on his wife nor does it give a woman to cheat on her husband.

[sweetchocolateTV]

i think that so many women are afraid of being alone that they will do anything just to have someone say they love them. but they forget if you can't be by yourself what are you gonna do with someone else. being single is time to work on you get yourself together and clearly she needs to do that. and yes i agree with you he doesn't take being married serious at all. why be his you see how he treats her. but a man can only do what we allow and this is what she is allowing him to do.

[Versetle1]

All I had to do was see the title to watch this! Love the grounded advice you give and how humble you remain while extending love (tough or not) to those who need it. Keep doing what you do & God bless!