Things You Can Not Do To the Queen

[fudgepacksack]

Id give her a good rogering that saucy wench !

[ffcloud321]

I had thought Queen Elizabeth the II had died, but no, that was her mother in 2002. She was 101, Wow. Royalty must get great health care.

[nuneatonboi]

healthcare is free in england so everyone gets it !

[ellabloobi]

piss off yanks , i have a pair of candlesticks in my dining room older than your country , sad twats

[DragonMagi]

Derp

[JSM10069]

If it weren't for us sad twats, you'd be typing your comment in German.

[ellabloobi]

oh yes , you liberated europe alone you pig , there were no french , no english , no canadians , no australians , no indians , no pakistanis , no africans , no one from newzealand , no scots , irish , welsh , no polish , no north africans , just you yanks , you saved europe , and you were so good at fighting , you decided to show japan twice how good you were , infact the battle of bladensburg shows just how good you are ! God save the Queen

[JSM10069]

You're correct - there weren't.

[JSM10069]

And you can keep your old candlesticks. I'll keep my Bill of Rights and Freedom. It would be nice to have an intelligent conversation, but it looks like you're just a foul-mouthed British who is overly infatuated with a royal family who doesn't even know or care you exist.

[ellabloobi]

bill of rights? is it actually yours loser? do you take home each day after work? freedom? we dont have a the death penalty , you do , we dont have prison camps , you do , you have no freedom my friend , and the royal family , doesnt need to know i exist , they need to know that many others like myself offer their unwavering loyalty to her majesty , the same queen , that her grandfather George iii not so long ago was also your king , good luck trying to erase that from history !

[Salmon1BWFC]

Actually we had a bill of right in 1689. And all the freedoms in the declaration of independence are in the magna carta

[00sAmMybEaR00]

what if i want to offer her a taco.

[ellabloobi]

why do u think shes like your mother ?

[felisdomesticus5676]

This is not funny.

[jeremie2009]

lol..id like to touch the queen with a black double headed dildo..

[ellabloobi]

i'll give you an idea what to do with that dildo motherfucker , dust it , say your prayers , take your vitamins , make ur mom is filming you and then shove it up ur daddys ass !

[milzy00]

you are a complete and utter cunt. It just really shows off your lack of education or pride for that matter. In fact, im going to print off the American flag and wipe my ass with it =] =] =] =] =]

[morrokbyo]

people, this is COMEDY, just chill out lol

[Betelgeus3]

"you cannot offer the queen a chalupa" LOL

[linkingal]

lol and why so many irrelavant cooments below me? its stupid because you guys cant loosen up over countries aagh

[ady10001]

Basically, don't do anything you wouldn't do to an 80 year old woman you have some respect for

[boltonrule4]

WTF only extremely white people? look up ur facts m8

[alex8711]

Look up the definition of humor m8

[boltonrule4]

Look up ur mums skirt m8

om

[wickbruvinit]

Lol go on americans, shout at us as loud as you can... BTW everyone, the queen does absolutely nothing and just sits around and has lots of money to sit in. Its our primeminister who does it all called "GORDON BROWN", sadly at the moment I'd rather the queen took control!"

[alisoncuthbert87]

She may not be your queen but theres no need to be so disrespectful, i would have thought that, being so patriotic, you would understand! Next time shall we put obama in a B&B? Tea and crumpets is at 3pm by the way!

[parrisjoey]

This is really bad humor

[laly0717]

This was really funny!! imagine the queen´s real expressions!!!!

[rickengothic]

If they do that the real queen in England oh man they will get their asses kick big time :O.

[Guyisaritelegend]

Cunt.

[b3nh04r3]

Not meaning to sound like an uber-patriotic, but that wasn't really that funny. That's the kind of jokes a child comes up with. At least when the English come up with jokes about the President it's inventive. The shoe mirror thing is just disgusting and kinda disturbing. But I guess Americans and Englishmen have different senses of humour.

[judeccagunner]

No, no. You're right. It was pretty stupid... Please don't judge us all by this sort of thing. I'm sure at least a handful of us are relatively intelligent.

[spankycorkforker]

Dont apoligize to that brit like a little bitch.

I suppose you should have asked him what time tea and crumpets were mothafucka

[ajdicks]

don't apologize jude...the british guy just has a stick up his ass because nothing funny has come out of england since the monty python show went off television.

[jayhayes2007]

that was a pathetic excuse for a joke. :\

[aspiaino]

Anachists and labourite Republicanists all SUCK i think? They hold No respect for our heritage, or history or tradition of the ages? They just want to mongralize everything so they can politically and socially gain for themselves during the confusion and leave the rest of the majority who sit back and let them take the cake?

[supergagum]

I'm not a person who can say he is a firm monarchist, however i do have the highest respect for Her Majesty the Queen, you do not touch her, she is royal, our head of state, and resembles Great Britian, and of course not forgetting the other country's where she is also proclaimed Queen. Dont like the insults to the gentle symbol of my country and I have yet to understand the humour in this video.

[vieetverite]

Simply put, she's your queen, not ours. It strikes me as odd that world leaders who are not even her subjects are supposed to defer to her. She came to the White House a couple years ago and everyone was following the Queen's protocol. It's fine to do that on British soil, but when she's not in British territory, it's crazy that anyone should think she deserves to be treated any differently than other world leaders. In other words, the Queen should not touch the Obamas when she's in the U.S.

[brettl84]

The queen observes all other countries customs wherever she travels. For example she removed her shoes while visiting a muslim leader (something she would never do otherwise). She has dawned traditional African clothes while visiting an African leader. She has even gone to a mosque as a sign of respect for other religous beliefs. Observing another countries traditions is a way to strengthen relationships. The Queen wouldn't sit down during our national anthem out of respect. Why not do the same

[vieetverite]

That's the gist of what I said: when world leaders are on British soil, it's perfectly right to observe royal protocol and show appropriate deference to the Queen. But when she goes to other countries, like the U.S., people shouldn't be treating her like she's their sovereign. When she was in the U.S. a few years ago, there was a big stink about a supposedly inappropriate look Bush gave her -- that no one would have said boo about if it had been anybody else -- as if she were his queen.

[brettl84]

You misunderstood the gist of my comment. We observe royal protocal even when she is on our soil out of respect for the United Kingdom, thats it. If you are refering to the wink Bush gave her on her last visit; that was perfectly acceptable. The palace and the UK didn't have a problem with it at all. Nobody is required to bow to the Queen but we still treat her with respect even on our soil. We all know she not our queen, but when we have a visiting dignitary we want to treat them accordingly.

[fuss101]

shoe mirrors

lol

[OHCLOUDSUNFOLD]

I find this offensive to my queen actually, its not funny

[bishop102]

Fuck the queen. She shouldn't be head of our state even thought hey say it's ceremonial, but I know it's not.

[ellabloobi]

How dare you insult the sovreign of Great Britain you dwarf. Go and creep back to whichever hole you came from you rodent.

[bishop102]

God Let's all fuck the Queen.

[b3nh04r3]

Explain yourself then. Why SHOULDN'T she be our head of state? You have a problem with the Queen? It's better than it being some kind of politician, then there'd be way too much drama. The Queen is an awesome representative and monarch for our country...

[bishop102]

I'm in Canada totally different.

[b3nh04r3]

Fair enough.

[billiejones25]

what a fucking idiot does he think its funny to insult the Queen even further than Michelle did YOU JUST DONT TOUCH THE QUEEN if she did that 100 years ago she wud have lost her arm y cant ppl take its seriously its not even funny u retards

[pershiesgirl]

Actually .. a representative from Buckingham Palace stated that the Queen was not insulted by Michelle Obama, but I do agree with you that this ignorant insulting of the Queen should stop ... It just shows how rude and ignorant some people really are!! Myself, I think the Queen is a very regal and disarming person just from the way she carries herself. As for other countries, following Royal protocol when the queen visits ... it's called respect ... I think some people her need to try it out!!

[moliflower]

When in Rome do as the Romans do. So if I am in UK, I will follow Royal protocol. Outside of UK, she should respect that common people are as equal as Kings and Queens.

[Kangaruue]

Wait. So American's have no class, so that's why "they can our english ass?" That makes no sense whatsoever. ;)

[rpyouknowme505]

yea. thats why what you just said makes no sense. are you calling yourself american?

[8mile4]

im canadian. lol, americas awesome though!!!

[ochoaesputo8]

nah americans suck!!!

[rpyouknowme505]

btw my response was to ellabloobi not kangaruue. haha. srry if i sounded like a bitch =[

[PenaltyKillah]

The shoe mirror surely gives a royal view! :)

[Leonidus82]

Can I spit in her face or offer her a Whopper from Burger King?

[wonderdog707]

Leonnidik, you are exactly how your name describes you......A DIK !!!! A semi literate one at that.....

[Leonnidik]

wonderdog707, You are exactly how your name page describes you, a british monarchy ass licking, feet worshipping dog. Go sniff Camilla's hoofs you prick.

[popcornskate]

oh my god... have you read his reply?

fail or what?

[Leonnidik]

The Royal Family of England has been on welfare all their existince. As a taxpayer who supports her lifestyle, I should be allowed to feel her ass.

[TheSweetDream]

hahahaha

[Leonnidik]

Hi SWEETDREAM- Also, the Royal Family is very disfunctional. Prince Charles, has always had a craving for farm animals, how else do you explain Camilla?

[hwatts56]

Leonnidik, your profile says United States, so you're probably not a UK taxpayer

[Leonnidik]

Hwatts56, I work there and pay taxes there. I work in the U.S. and pay taxes there. That lazy brood of a monarchy who love to break champagne bottles on destroyers. Queen Elizabeth and her critters, Charles, Philip are the #1 Ghetto Rich Family on welfare in the world..Idiot Brits for putting up with this nonsense.Put them to work!!!

[Melissa230984]

I agree with you 100%....What significacnce is the Queen of England....I havent seen her make any worthy contributions....I hate that Brits still ahve a monarchy over them!

[Leonnidik]

Melissa, Not only are they diamond crown ghetto worthless, how many of all those medals pinned on Charle's and Phillip's uniforms did they REALLY earn? Did they ever go to their caribbean colonies to help with the sugar cane harvest? Lazy bums..

[PenaltyKillah]

Both of them did join the Navy and worked their way up... for Charles, I bet his mom forced his recruitment. XD

[Leonnidik]

PenaltyKilla-They joined for show.( they never saw action.). The shadow and spirit of the great Winston Churchill made them do it.

[ezelje]

a monarchy is a lot less currupt than a republic, so why is it something you would hate? the british head of state is seperate from politics where as the american head of state is also the head of govt which is why america is always doing such stupid things. i like the idea that one person can go against the entire govt if they think the action does not serve their people.

[Leonnidik]

EZELje- You are Boring,have No Identity,Obese, work in the Rare Book Dept. of a library no one goes to, Live in 6months of Darkness a Year, for fun and companionship you get your Lactose Intolerant Ass into an Lazy Boy Recliner holding and eating a Gallon Of ROCKY ROAD Icecream and delight to the smell of your own Farts. GOD! I want to be your Friend!

[ezelje]

the tax payer contributes something like 65 pence a year to the queens lifestyle and she doesnt get to pick what any of her money is spent on. however i would like to see you touch her arse and watch you be beaten to a bloody pulp by her soldiers

[Leonnidik]

Ezebitch- I would expect her soldiers to do exactly as you say. That's what they get paid for. What do you know about the greatest country in the world USA. The Netherlands, you don't even have a fucking identity. What the fuck are you? Are you a country? Are you a stream of countries? You have to go suck up to the british for an identity you worthless whore. Bow when you see the American flag, bitch.

[unrulyrascal]

"What do you know about the greatest country in the world?" And you wonder why the rest of the world laughs at you...

[Leonnidik]

unrulyRascal- The ones that LAUGH at us ,the United States, are the same ones that dream of coming here. Your'e likely one of those. And If by chance you are in the U.S.,and don't like it here, You are free to go to another country where you feel at home. You got that asshole?

[unrulyrascal]

Not to ridicule you but is asshole really the best you can come up with? You were just made out to be the worlds laughing stock, a walking joke not to be taken seriously... and your response is asshole? Thats like giving the finger to the bloke who just ran you over in a car, then threw it reverse and ran you over two more times. The only ones wanting into the US are those even worse off. Those with higher standards of living will stay right were we are, thank you very much.

[Leonnidik]

Unrulyrascal- Just as I thought, An asshole from England.

[unrulyrascal]

Wrong!

[morrokbyo]

if you don't like someone, or something you should just keep it to yourself...

[unrulyrascal]

Thank you, voice of morality. Is there anything more irritating than someone who thinks right and wrong are objective? Here's a novel idea: practice what you preach... and shut the fuck up.

:)

[DamonSin]

no it was pretty much awesome, and stop taking yourself so seriously.

[ameliakuono]

so silly... not funny at all

[rusty0010]

Im British and im shocked.

[freekicking85]

why shocked?...

have you heard the Diana - gangbang in a minefield joke by Frankie Boyle?

[puppylove111111111]

well she didnt seem to mind i suppose u could call it a friendly gesture lol dont try on the crown lol!!!

[conkrd]

I have a hard time laughing here. The Queen is the monarch and head of state. Once kings and queens held their position second only to God. Joking and not understanding protocol means a total lack of respect and history.. just total ignorance. You don't elect a monarch, he/she is the country as an embodiment. Once hodler of total and absolute power in a nation, whose word was law. Shocking how little respect anything gets nowadays.

[nihouston]

whatever. It's 2009. British Monarchy do NOTHING! lol

[7410n0]

I think he's just poking fun at how stuck up people -- like yourself -- are about this. Really who cares if she holds an office that WAS something great? That doesn't mean crap. I can see why people would continue to respect her out of tradition but she doesn't hold that much official power.

[conkrd]

Yeah... and that's exactly what's wrong with society today. Well said. And I'm not stuck up, I just know where I stand in the World. I guess if you're an american it's like not respecting George Washington or any war veterans you've had, only worse.

[freekicking85]

Get a grip man.

People have a right to response to protocol\tradition. I.e. the right to make fun of it.

[conkrd]

Yeah of course they have a right. We do live in a free society. I'm just saying that I think it's rude and stupid. That's my right.

[AngryAnt0]

With you here... I normally find Kimmel, one of the funnier American chat show hosts (Certain song springs to mind). But this was in poor taste, and looks very half assed and rushed to basically get it out before the story was finished.

Will probably get marked down by people laughing their asses off over this, but sorry guys, grow up. This is just lewd and can't even be considered humour.

[dontplayformenero]

well that just wasn't funny, thats all just jokes sucked very weak

[warriorskull12]

rofl da last 1...

xD..

[konnekted]

Let's abolish the royals !

[CleverDjembe]

Kings and queens are outdated in modern society IMO.

[AK231199]

That is very true, however in england it is more of a traditon thing regarding the royals. They are more of a symbol of power

[ndafuckup]

What age are we in? I hope she doen't die soon. Those kids of hers are bad influence! just kidin' they're good kids...I think...

[uberman111]

LOL no purple nurples

[KohrsAKT]

kings and queens are bullshit, evey country that has em can suck my dick for being idiots, i will punch the fucking queen, fuck her

[Reexio]

You need help...

[rooftopjump]

Were you born like that or has your mental abnormality developed to this serious stage of late? Do not associate with anyone who has access to firearms. There may be some hope for you, but not much.

[locdoggy2000]

shut the fuck up you fascist troll. nobody wants to hear your shit

[stephaniux592]

it cant be more stupid u.u ....

[kingabou26]

look at her dress dam shes an old bitch she has nothing wat a guy

[MartinGist]

Considering comments other royals have made about people of color, maybe the QQueen just assumed Michelle was helping Her Highness get dressed.

[HouseOldSkoolRaver]

Thats bullshit the Queen loves the chocolate faces

[djgrammers]

LAME LAME. kimmel is not funny, can't you people see that this is all for advertisements for his far below mediorcre show with all the cheap jokes that lame people find funny because someone else liked it. trust me it's not funny, none of it is. the writers are terrible, the skits are not funny, kimmel just really sucks, he can't improvise, if his ear peice broke and he had noone telling him what to do he would pause look around & attempt to make a fart in his armpit for laughs & fail miserably.

[RockyBalboa211]

What do you mean he is alot better than jimmy fallon, but a little behing letterman..

[djgrammers]

fallon blew it at first, but i think it might be more his staff coming up with those rather unfunny things he does like "beer me" & the "bowling" and everything else. for now i will give him a chance to work into his own thing, if he can't do that then he fails. & about jimmy kimmy, she has this annoying smuggness to her, as if she thinks she's so great because she's the only night host, she thinks he can fart in our face and we'll love it, and every loser is in line to smell. BUT NOT ME!

[thevitaminjunkie]

Canada's former prime minister Pierre Trudeau once did a pirouette behind the Queen.

He was pretty awesome, from what I've heard. Like, Canada's Obama, in terms of celebrity, at least within our own borders.

[Leonnidik]

THEVitaminJunkie_ I wish he had done the CAN-CAN.

[kingabou26]

omg are they rascist only white people can touch the lady fuk her shes an bitch

[pssst25]

i think he was joking

[randomdudeRULES]

are you stupid enough to believe that?

[kingabou26]

are u stupid dam its a joke i never some1 stupid like u

[RobMackenzie]

Of course Jimmy was joking, but what's not funny is that some, albeit ignorant people, like kingabou26 will always think some of it's true which doesn't help people get along in the world.

[kingabou26]

are u dom i never ever seen some1 whos stupid like u i know when some1 making a joke but ur gay do u know wats jokes mean

[popcornskate]

....what?

[RobMackenzie]

Whether kingabou26 knew Jimmy was joking or not, wasn't my main point (though thanks for so nicely pointing out that you knew).

I mean, it's not good to make nasty, untrue public accusations at people whether you're joking or not (especially when millions could see it) because there'll always be some people who believe it, either entirely or to some degree & that doesn't help people get along in the world.

[44774477ric]

American patriots dethroned the queen and her royal ass from power in the revolutionary war then in ww2...through shame and embaresment....they stay on as figure heads....BS they are liars and are behind the NWO.....they are loving obama and wife because this president is bending over for the queen and The NWO saying stick it to my country its all yours..........impeach Obama NOW

[volumedealer1]

Fuck the queen,what a detached from humanity piece of shit.

[amoep]

FIX THE AUDIO!

[blueshadow84]

DITTO! The majority of these videos have some sort of static in the background

[AGuyOnDaCouch]

is the queen immortal??? I wanna see King Charles. LOL! That will be the day.

[jakelong2000]

hmmmm immortal she has been alive for a long time

[TruthSeeker1988]

Obama = First black president

Steele = First black guy to run the RNC

Michelle = First black person to touch someone of loyalty

[GodOfQwerty]

I don't know, my dog is very loyal, but my nieghbor touches he all the time. ;D Lol just kidding I think you mean " rrrrroyalty!"

*Sigh* to bad you can't roll you "r's" on the internet. quick expirement: [:)]

[sasukeistehsuck]

But she has such wonderful, tousle-able hair! ):

[rogermoore27]

the Queen gave a hi5 and a  backhand side once....

[lS4M3NTl]

whahaha

[popomczowzow]

I can think of a something you can't do to the queen ;D

Feed her to a tiger.

What were you thinking, perverts?

[PsychoDragonX]

I was thinking have her be a "personal private guest" to Hannibal Lecter

[biggerflexible]

I'm sorry we won that war, the queen can kiss my ass.

[lapalma9376]

hahaha!!