Best Three Stooges Line Ever

[drewboy108]

Curly: Are these oysters fresh?

Waiter: we just dropped 'em in

[me1955brown]

From "No Census, No Feeling"

Stooges are trying to get football players to fill out census forms:

Larry: You can trust us, we'll only tell our government.

[111vnderbnder111]

Now where do I put it? my bad :)

[111vnderbnder111]

Judge: take the stand.

Curly: now what do i do with it?

Judge: NO, NO, take the stand!

Curly: I got it now what do i do with it?

[Sabin06]

Moe: whats that noise? Curly: maybe its a bear. Moe: nonsense how is a bear going to fit in a pipe? Curly: its Bearly possible BONK!!!

[prof1661]

Hostess: The Gentlemen are going to do their native dance.

Curly: I ain't takin' my clothes off for anybody!

[999kyoshiro]

Larry:hahaha he looks like a V8!

Moe: ohh yeah have you ever heard of the V5?

Larry:whats that a new car?

Moe:no its an old sock! "smack"

[bleechrcreechrr]

Attorney: Please address the judge as "Your Honor"

Curly: It was like this my honor.

Attorney: YOUR HONOR no My Honor!

Curly: Why Don't you like him?

and:

Larry: He said onesies and you gave him twosie-oh

Moe: Here's fivesies

[carpetcrawler13]

Best line is Curly "I'm trying to think but nuttin happens"

[ThirstyTodd]

Moe: Football! Basketball! Baseball!

Curly: I'll have a highball.

[jpatton1989]

Moe (to a dieing man):Tell me your name, so I can tell your mother?

Man: My mother already knows my name.

That's my favorite Three Stooges line.

[rtds9fan]

Moe working for US Census office going door to door asking questions "Excuse me sir...but are you married or happy?"

LMAO...that one always killed me LOL

[mikedavis5671]

Judge: Would you please drop the vernacular?

Curly: That's not a vernacular, that's a doyby (derby)!"

[jessperr]

Judge: Have you ever been indicted?

Moe: Not since I was a baby, your Honor.

[jessperr]

Larry: Well I'm a little apprehensive.

Moe: Apprehensive...what does that mean?

Larry: It's scared with a college degree.

Moe: OK genius why don't you come up with a password when I knock on the door.

Larry: How about..."Open the door".

SMACK! hahaha

[clikcerticker]

man this was the funniest shit ever. its kinda sad that most of the younger people these days dont know anything about them or who they even are. im only 20 but ive known about the 3 stooges since i was idk 10.

[someone7671]

I don't get it.

[wolffhollow]

One of my favorite lines from Pain in the Pullman: While searching for Joe the monkey, Curley hears a girl talking in her bunk: Girl talking in her sleep : "It's Good to see you again dear." Curley leans in and says "it's good to see you too."

Girl responds: " Why didn't you write?"

Curley, in a shy voice: "I didn't know your address." I still laugh every time.

[StoogeWatcher]

This is from the 1940 short "How High Is Up?"

[KeroseneKreations]

And was so funny about it that they use is in SO many episodes xD

[Tonithenightowl]

What was the first part of the line, "Only thing I like better than honey and (?) is baloney and whipped cream and we haven't got any. Anyone???

[LESSOLITAIRE]

@Tonithenightowl KETCHUP or Catsup depending on how YOU spell it. From the short IDIOTS DELUXE.

[Tonithenightowl]

@LESSOLITAIRE Five minutes after I posted that I remembered it was ketchup lol. What you win is a case of Panther Beer, or the 3 Stooges homemade beer and we know they ALL put the yeast in lol. Thanks for responding. Always happy to meet another stooge fan. :o)

[LESSOLITAIRE]

@Tonithenightowl What did I win??? LOL! reverbnation(dot)com/lessolita­ire

[Tonithenightowl]

@LESSOLITAIRE Yes that's it lol I just couldn't remember it. You win a choice of Panther Beer or the Stooges homemade brew and we know they ALL put the yeast in. lol Thanks for responding. Your beer will arrive in 7 to 10 working days.:o)

[crazzyTT]

The 'Boys' are trying to enter the clubhouse at golf course.

"Pardon me are gentlemen from the press?'

Curly responds: "I used to be but I didn't do any pressing, I went through the pockets, kind of a dry cleaner"

[jbondDB5]

i have a "kings of laughter" VHS. (this scene had moe, larry, and curly joe. they broke down on the side of the road) Moe and larry shared this same bit in the VHS.

[AtTheKevIn]

Moe: Alright, let's get loaded.

Larry: But Moe, you know I don't drink.

[rolex452]

BRIGHTO, BRIGHTO, IT MAKES OLD BODIES NEW! WE'LL SELL A MILLION BOTTLES! WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!

[beundertaker]

my favorite has curly

are you going now?

curly - "I'll go when I'm ready"

"are you READY NOW"

curly - yeah I'm ready

LOLLL

[cmans79tr7]

Larry yelling: The alligator bit off the end of my shoe! Moe: What's the big deal? It's just an old shoe! Larry: Yeah, but I think my toes were in it!

[number9scheme]

True story: I was at a weekend martial arts seminar.

Afterwards, some of the other guys and I were talking about bad-ass fighters. I said: "To me, the most fearsome sumbitch in the world is Moe Howard."

Everyone agreed and we spent a lot of time wondering who would win in a fight between a "Drunken Monkey" stylist or a "Crane" stylist or a "Preying Mantis" stylist, but we all agreed that a "Moe" stylist would kick the shit out of all of them.

[valeriepowers]

Yes we have no banaza:Curly is fixing a drink with nothing but selzier water int and one ice cub

Moe:Hey what kind of a drink is that?

Curly:That's my own brand the western surprize

Moe grabs the bottle Curly was using to make the drink:There's no liquor in that

Curly:That's the surprize I am a HUGE fan of The Three Stooges.And I love them all.

[mjmcc15]

Moe's trying to saw through a wall, Larry: "hey Moe, hey Moe!" Moe:"what?" Larry:"how is it, pretty tough?"

[sexymanfrombigjapan]

I have several, but my fav is in Brideless Groom.

Moe and Larry were trying to get Shemp married so that they could get some of his money. After they find the girl, the "preacher" tries to do the wedding reception.

Preacher: Do you have the ring?

Shemp: Certainly. I got it. (accidently throws it in near by piano in string part)

(they run over there)

Moe: See anything?

Shemp: Yeah, wires (gets slapped)

[DarkPaladin24]

Moe: Go get another piece of pipe!

Curly: I resent that!

Moe: (glares at him) What are you going to do about it?

Curly: Get another piece of pipe.

[Leocronz]

My favorite by far is when Moe yanks a chunk of Larry's hair out.

Larry looks at Moe and says,MY HAIR,MY HAIR!!!

Moe says,I gave it back to ya didn't I ?

Then,of course,Larry gets a slap from Moe.

[metalwarrior1990]

My favourite is

Guy "Can you spell "Cat"

Curly "Coitenly"

Guy "SPELL IT"

Curly "Cat, K-I-T-T-Y, Pussy"

[BombsAway999]

My favorite is-

Curly: Guys I cant hear a thing!

Moe: Why not?

Curly: I'm not listening!

[xLCxSLAY3Rx]

one of my fav quotes... the stooges shemp,moe and larry were detectives and they go into this bar where they find a "suspicious" woman. she leaves and they search her purse where they find some liquor

moe: oo my, its liquor!!!

larry: it might make her sicker!!!!

shemp: (taking the liquor from moe) then ill drink it quicker

lmao

[SolarBlade52]

Back To The Woods: (After the NBC Chimes played)

Curly: Time Signal. 15 seconds before 11 AM, Bolognia watch time!

[georgef1776]

Yes! My favorite too! We gather every year around Thanksgiving and stay up all night watching Stooges. This line is in several of the films, and usually pops up sometime during the night.

[PestigeKelpone]

Not my favourite, but I still love it

From Half Wits Holiday

Professor Sedletz: Now if I gave you a dollar, and your father gave you a dollar how many dollars would you have?

Larry: One dollar

Professor Sedletz: You don't know your arithmetic

Larry: You don't know my father

[EmperorMAD]

@PestigeKelpone lol that one is great.

[SolarBlade52]

Sock-a-Bye Baby (1942): This was when the Stooges are taking care of a baby:

Curly: I wonder if I looked that cute when I was delivered by the stork.

Moe: When you were born, you were delivered by a buzzard.

Curly: Oh, special delivery, ay?

[TheBookWorm1718]

@SolarBlade52 Also from Sock-A-Bye Baby:

Larry: What do kids eat?

Moe: What do kids eat? That's easy, soft stuff, no bones, no potato chips (to Curly) What did you eat when you were a baby?

Curly: Weeds.

LOL!

[cmans79tr7]

Curly at a punchbowl: "The Gin must have gone through THIS punch on STILTS!"

[SolarBlade52]

Three Smart Saps (1942):

Woman (not knowing that her skirt ripped off): Do you feel a draft?

Moe: Draft? No, I was exempted.

[CerpinTaxt37]

Moe: I oughtta mash you like a potato!

[Onemanband87]

Here's another favorite!

Larry: "You know fish is good brain food."

Moe: "Oh! Well you should fish for a whale/SLAP!"

Lol these guys truely started comedy!

[hbkedge3]

A classic that everyone has left out - Curly made a drink (punch) that had too much liquor in it and says to the lady beside him after drinking it - "Roses are red and how do you do, two more of these and woo woo woo woo!" CLASSIC!

[gingrinch]

Moe: Does the deer have a little doe?

Curly: Yeah, two bucks!

[snhtown9]

My favorite:

Larry: "Heh, heh. Looks like a V8."

Moe: "Yeah, j'ever hear of a V5?"

Larry: "What is that, a new car?"

Moe: "No, it's an old sock. (SLAP!!) Get outta here."

[VidkunQL]

Curly: I'm surrounded!

[theWHAMBurglar]

Curly: I'm tryin to think but nuttin happens!

[BlackDynamiteNYC]

Moe to Curly: "Brush the hair out of your eyes and get goin'!" (Smack!)

Larry to Curly: "YEAH!"

Moe to Larry: "You too, Rain in the Face!"

[nsfan96]

olli sammi washy shirty? is any of your wash up there? No-o-o. [I love how larry says no] then stay out of it! SLAP

[bergerfry]

The best Curly line is "I'm a victim of circumstance" then the same thing happens again and he say's "what a coincidence". The short where they are in a sculpting studio.

[TheFatboy1800]

why is that funny?

[Remaster2333]

@TheFatboy1800 because it is. dont question the stooges

[Eminemflocka]

@Remaster2333 lol "dont question the stooges"

[stewgotz1]

larry: ''you know, fish is good brain food...''

moe; '' you should eat a whale....BONK!!!'' FUNNY SHIT

[drewboy108]

@stewgotz1 what episode is that from?

[BehindEvilThoughts]

GOLD! xD

[Klankumz]

I'm a victim of circumstance!!! lol

[19tc85]

From "Dizzy Doctors" as the boys are being chased in the hospital while using a stretcher as a getaway

Larry: More speed, more speed

Curly: I got her wide open

Moe: Well open her wider

Curly: I can't, I can't find the clutch

(Moe slaps Curly)

Curly: OH!

LMAO

[lpride1]

"Mingle before I mangle" What film/short was that from?

[19tc85]

@lpride1

"Loco Boy Does Good" I believe it is.

[lpride1]

@19tc85 Thanks! I knew someone here could answer that. That line always stuck in my head.

[cmans79tr7]

The Stooges are being trusted to do an important assignment and the organizer says: "I'm glad my project is in competent hands." Curly says, "That's right! We're all incompetent!"

[BlackDynamiteNYC]

Moe: "Why don't you get a toupee with some brains in it?" (SLAP!)

[BlackDynamiteNYC]

Larry carries a bear trap into the room

Moe: "Hey what's that for?"

Larry: "You never know! We might run into a bear!

Moe: "Yeah! Meet my bare hand! (SLAP!!)

[jaykertiss]

my favorite:

moe: "boy we're in a tough spot"

larry: "yeah it's gonna take brains to get us outta this one"

moe: (angrily) "that's why i said we're in a tough spot!"

[wetluv4]

My favorite is when Curly is asked to spell cat. He sais K-I-T-T-Y and then sais PUSSY! LOL! Does anyone know which skit this is from?

[woodchuk123]

@wetluv4 Thats Hoi Polloi (1935).

[DrClay999]

Take off your hat!

Raise your right hand!

Now put your left hand here!

*repeat*

[intergalacticman2012]

Let a guy who knows how to knock, knock. nahk, nahk nihk, nyahk, nyuk nyuk nyuk

[2405therow]

I have two favorites:

First: Three Pests in a mess when Larry calls Moe a porter and he got triple slapped.

Second: Moe to Curly If you don't stop, I'll give you a pop.

Curly: What flavor?

Moe: Five delicious flavors! and Moe smacked Curly.

Thanks for posting

[mrsraybird]

Niagara! Slowly I turn...step by step...inch by inch!

[BlackDynamiteNYC]

The best line is "Don't you dare hit me in the head! You know I'm not normal!" (Curly)

Or

(SLAP) "What'd you hit me for? I didn't do nothin'!" (Curly)

"That's why I slugged ya! Do somethin'!" (Moe)

Or

"Give me a hand!" (Moe)

"Which one?" (Curly or Larry)

[AmericanNohbuddy]

@BlackDynamiteNYC

Or when he slaps them just in case they do something lol

[DblC3]

My favorite line is, "Remind me to kill you later!" I used that on my brother once.

[firebirdhome]

My favourite was from Half Wits Holiday in their reading lesson

Curly - oh see the deer, does the deer have a little doe?

Larry - Yeah... 2 bucks hahahaha

Moe slaps him...

Larry's line and then laughing at his own joke is too much!!!

[woodchuk123]

@firebirdhome Yeah, that's a pretty funny double pun. How about the triple pun on I'll Never Heil Again?

"If I'm gonna take Mickey Finlen, I'd better be rushin!"

"Then quit stallin'!'"

LMAO! Mickey Finn/Finland (Finlen), Russian/rushin', and Stalin/stallin'

[woodchuk123]

One of my favorites is the line in Pop Goes the Easel (1935) where they hide from the cop in the art school. After seeing their surroundings, Moe says, "You know, my old man used to draw." Curly says, "Sure, he drew 20 years with one stroke of the pen!" LMAO!

[OreoMan951]

my favorite one: Healthy, Wealthy and Dumb

Curly: "oh look. a row boat."

Larry: " row boat? you're crazy that's a horse troaf."

Moe: " horse troaf, row boat, in a hotel? that's bathtub, you imbisiles. go take a bath."

Larry: "but it ain't spring yet."

Moe: "oh yes it is. see the pretty grass?"

Larry: "where?"

Moe kicks larry in the bathtub, Curly shuts the door and uses his catch phrase

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk."

[HowBrownPhiladelphia]

Funny line in the Joe Besser-as-Stooge episode.

Larry..."I'm going fishing...

Moe--"Do you have worms ?"

Larry..."Yeah, but I'm goin' anyway !"

[rsc980]

My favorite is from "Nutty But Nice."

Larry: "We're trapped like rats"

Moe: "Speak for yourself, rodent!"

Moe bops Larry on the head.

[Reggie95203]

In "The Magnificent Seven", Steve McQueen calls someone else the name "chucklehead". I'd bet he found that word here.

[edcasey52]

Episode of "Three Little Beers" right as they walk out of the clubhouse...

Moe: Well jasper, what did you shoot yesterday?

Curley; I shot a seven but they wouldn't give me the money

Moe: Haha you did? *Smack* Go Get a bag of bats killer!

[criminaltrap74]

Get the tools...What tools? is in a number of episodes. So many great lines. "I'll murder you!" is a classic Moe line. or the time that the stooges are about to drive a car off of a cliff & Curly says "Don't look now, but I think we're about to be killed knuck knuck knuck."

[iHaveAnger]

(Larry snoring in cabin of train car)

Moe: (Hits Larry) Hey! Wake up and go to sleep!

Larry: Okay.......huh??

[DerronD82]

@iHaveAnger

i always used Wake up and go to Sleep to friends, roommates and family when dozing off, always a fav of mine!

[OreoMan951]

hahahaha i have this episode on my dvr.

[ozzie7652]

Moe: "do you know what that paper was?"

Curly "HOT!!!"

ROLF!!!!

[Caveboy0]

Moe: "take that cart away"

Larry: "I'LL TAKE IT WHEN I'M READY"

Moe: "are you ready!"

Larry: "yeah... i'm ready"

[PrinceSuperBen]

From Sing a Song of Six Pants:

Larry accidentally takes a swig of fabric cleaner, spits it out on Moe as he happens to walk by.

Moe: "Ohhh, a funny man!" *SLAP* "Get outta here!"

[fivestander]

Larry: "Wait guys, suppose we meet up with a bear?"

Moe: "Oh yeah?, Meet ma bare hand"

*smacks Larry across the face

[stonyhil]

my absolute favorite is when

Curley is doing an impression of a choo choo train. He stops and smiles and Moe says "Why don't you get a toupee with some brains in it?"

[rattpoison1]

How about the one where they were in the Scottish castle, solved the crime, and the owner said he'd pour 'em a drink from this old bottle of Scotch. After he gives them just a sniff of the cork, one by one, when he gets to Moe, he said 'No thanks, I'm drivin'

[joeyd1958]

what kind of a fool do you think i am?

curly: Why, is there more than one kind!!

[Theryougo1]

Slowly I turn, inch by inch....

[prettyboy2525]

curly: omg i cant see i cant see

moe: why.??

curly: cause i got my eyes closed......

LOL.!

[geekstreat]

@prettyboy2525 actually larry also used that line

[littlereyrey]

My two favourites are from the episode "Three Dark Horses."

Shemp: Hey, let's eat. I'm hungry.

Moe: Me too. I could eat a horse.

Shemp: Don't look at me.

Moe: I said a horse, not a jackass.

Shemp: Carve the turkey.

Moe: I'm scared to touch it.

Shemp: Scared? You're crazy. Look at that beautiful breast (rubs the turkey and it laughs) No wonder you can't carve it, it's ticklish.

[huds1993]

curley says: stick em up.........get a cop

[SamoanFun]

I don't have a favorite, because I got a suitcase full of it. But here's one:

No Census, No Feeling:

Moe: Where were you born?

Larry: Lake Winnipesaki.

Moe: Lake Winnipe--How many children were there?

Larry: I was of 103.

(slamming the Census down) Moe: Now don't you tell me you were the one they've kept.

Larry: Nah, I'm the one they threw away.

(Moe starts choking on to who he thinks was Larry, but instead was a much older man)

[FondleMyNuts]

"are you happy or married?"

[sjanetta]

"I shot 5 holes in a divot".  from disorder in the court.

[michaelaruiz]

*going into a horse racing game*

Moe: Press

Larry: Press

Curly: Pull



[aardvark9100]

What tools??? Sounds like a good repairman.

[victor35120]

Disorderly in court Moe: Say Jasper, what comes after 75 Larry: 76 Moe ah thats the spirit LOL

[YourFailedAttempt]

My favorite line is probably in "Pop Goes The Easel" where they had just finished painting the floor and then the cop comes through the door and Larry goes "It's the cop!" and paints his face black with one stroke of the brush.

[Stubbypunch]

I like Disorder in the court where Larry is screaming and Moe says "Hey, we are in a court room, not the jungle, Tarzan *SLAP* Get outta here porcupine!

[eslubin]

lol

[barmartino90]

Not sure which shorts these are from:

“Can you spell CAT? Certainly! K-I-T-T-Y - Pussy! (Curly)

“Enchanted, Enraptured, Embalmed”

“I’m dying and you start a quiz program.”( Curly to Larry)

“Every time you think you weaken the nation.” (Moe to Curly)

“Mildew (college)has such a lovely student body (lady president). Yours wouldn’t be so bad if you lost about 20 pounds.”( Moe)

“Don’t hit me. You know I’m not normal.”(Curly to Moe)

“How dare you look like somebody I hate (slap!)

[woodchuk123]

@barmartino90

Here are the shorts you quoted:

"Can you spell cat?..." - Hoi Polloi (1935)

"Enchanted, Enraptured..." - Half Wits Holiday (1947)

"I'm dying and you start.." - Dizzy Detectives (1943)

"Every time you think..." - Several, I think, but one was Half Shot Shooters (1936)

"Mildew has..." - Violent is the Word for Curly (1938)

"Don't hit me..." - Several, but one is Loco Boy Makes Good (1942)

"How dare you look..." - Tricky Dicks (1953)

All great lines!

[IronHeadRat]

My favorite is-

Moe: If you don't stop, I'll give you a pop!

Curly: Oh yeah, what flavor?

Moe: (spreads his fingers) Five delicious flavors! (slap)

[woodchuk123]

@IronHeadRat Yeah, that's a good one from The Yoke's On Me (1944)

[olneymike]

"The kisses are gettin' louder...."

Larry, in Brideless Groom

[olneymike]

"They Stooge to Conga"-

Radio-"Will you take the 32 or go for 64?"

Curly-"I'll go for 64!"

Moe(Curly thinks he's the radio) "Alright, why couldn't the chicken lay a loaf of bread?

Curly-"He ain't got the crust!!"

Moe- "You win...."

Curly- "Oh boy! Give it to me!"

*Crack!*

Moe hits him in the head with a chisel. One of my favorite episodes.

[olneymike]

My favorite line is in the shemp when he is having hallucinations and and thinks Nora the ugly nurse is beautiful. At one point she walks in, Larry and Moe cringe, and Larry says "I better have another drink, I can still see her face..."

[woodchuk123]

@olneymike Yeah, from Scrambled Brains (1951). Great line!

[RBZatlas]

This beats modern explicit comedy any day.

[cmans79tr7]

Shemp can't get a tight-fitting fishbowl off of his head, panics and yells a muffled, gibberish: "BADABADBOOBADABA", Moe asks Larry "What'd he say?" Larry replies by imitating the gibberish: "BADABADBOOBADABA", and Moe slaps Larry.

Shemp looking in a funhouse mirror and gasps. Tells Moe some "creature" snapped at him.

Curley ordering Breakfast: "I'll have a piece of burnt toast and a rotten egg" ....when asked why, Curley says: "I have a tapewoim (tapeworm) and that's good enough for it".

[999manman]

I LOVE this short...all thru it Moe seems more ascerbic and wiseass than ever....like he had a REALLY bad night!!!!

[jukryn]

You might be right. "Yeah, those tools." Hysterical.

[graybeard420]

Take off your hat......Raise your right hand...Now put your left hand here!!

[airbendernaruto5]

@graybeard420 The Judge: Why don't you answer him?

Curly: He's talking gibberish. I don't know what he's sayin.

The Judge: He's asking you if you swear-

Curly butts in: No, but I know all the woids

[EmGem1986]

@buckey468 That was so funny too. I love their one liners. :)

[bucky468]

@EmGem1986 You spelled my name incorrectly. Which comment was that a reply to?

[cmans79tr7]

When They are hiding in a trash can outside the Tailor shop, a thug calls into the general area "Is anyone there?" And you hear Shemp's voice answer with a muffled "Just gahbage" and you hear a muffled slap, obviously from Moe.

Moe playing poker, Larry see's other guy's hand and to help Moe, exclaims "Oh! I got three "kinks" in my back. Guy doesn't react at all...but at the end of the game Moe loses and guy says I have three Kings, AND THEY'RE NOT IN MY BACK!

[unrealtournament3]

@cmans79tr7

There's one in that same scene something like:

"Have you ever been to the oasis?"

"I've been to the oasis twice!"

I'm going to use that playing cards one day...

[bucky468]

@cmans79tr7 No that was a cop at the beginning of "Shiverin' Sherlocks" (then later "Of Cash 'n' Hash") who asked "Who's In That Can?" & Shemp answered "Just gahbage!" then gets slapped by Moe. I don't know of any others where a thug asked that line.

[cmans79tr7]

(I'm paraphrasing) Moe : "Guys, we're in trouble."

Larry: No, Moe. All we need to do is stop and think about this calmly and intelligently.

Moe: "Like I said, we're in trouble!"

Not a line, but when Shemp gets sea-sick eating baloney, throws the remainder in a raised firebucket, Moe underneath gets splashed, looks up and sees Shemp holding his mouth as if Shemp had vomited, Moe double-takes, jumps up and slaps Shemp, but somehow Moe knew it was water and not Shemps vomit.

[karen10948]

Bo you suck you should not get comments or  Rates

[bucky468]

Another great line from the Curly era - from "In the Sweet Pie & Pie" - the jail scene:

Moe: If only we had a saw...

Curly: I think you got somethin' there

Moe: That's swell! Is that a musical saw?

Curly: Why soitainly - it plays I Hear A Ripsody

Moe: (hit Curly in the face w/saw - WHAP!) Well that was a rhapsody in the kissa! Start sawin'!

(Stooges cram in & saw the bars)

Curly: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Let a man who can see saw! See...saw! (breathes on saw making a saw sound)

[bucky468]

What's funnier is that Curly had the saw underneath his prisoner clothes the whole time till Moe mentioned "if only we had a saw." That's one of my all time Top 5 fave shorts from the Curly era. It's hard to beat that classic pie fight scene especially when Larry gets hit in the face w/a pie while in a knight's suit of armor & the face guard drops down. So many great lines from that short.

[bucky468]

Another great one from the Shemp era I never heard anyone mention:

Shemp: 25 miles we chased him & you let him get away!

Larry: I couldn't help it - he was going too fast!

Moe: I tell ya he went up to that deserted house!

Shemp: Deserted house? I don't like deserted houses!

Larry: Why Not? Maybe we'll get dessert!

Moe: Aww - Funny Boy (hits Larry in the head w/his fist)

DOINK!

Classic line & I don't remember the actual short's name. It was a remake of "Shivering Sherlocks."

[woodchuk123]

@bucky468 The original is Crime On Their Hands - 1948.

[bucky468]

@woodchuk123 Are you sure? I thought the "dessert - funny boy" line was in "Of Cash 'n' Hash" which was made during Shemp's last yr before he passed away.

[woodchuk123]

@bucky468 Now that you mention it, I'm almost positive you're right. Of course, by that time the shorts were mostly recycled footage anyway. That "dessert" line may have been part of the new footage inserted into Shivering Sherlocks, which IIRC was the original.

[bucky468]

@woodchuk123 The "dessert" line was actually not in "Shivering Sherlocks" - it was in the remake "Of Cash 'n' Hash" which is here at youtube. Nonetheless it's a funny line & it makes me laugh so hard. One of the funniest from the Shemp era.

[Gabja]

"I'll show you a thing or two or three!"

[lookielooo]

theres a stooges episode ive once seen and ive seen them all where at the last 10 seconds of the skit they are hitting each other with rocks on the head, then curly picks up one and the last second then moe says " hey not that one, that ones real." then they all look into the camera and start laughing. can anyone help me find it?

[woodchuk123]

@lookielooo That's from "So Long Mr. Chumps," later to be re-used in "Beer Barrel Polecats."

[woodchuk123]

I love the line from A Bird in the Head where the mad scientist (Vernon Dent) wants to transplant Curly's brain into Igor the gorilla. Larry says "What is this guy, a headhunter?" and Moe replies "If he's a headhunter, he's hunting small game!" LOL!

[mlrose529]

@lookielooo

I could be wrong, but I believe it's 'Beer Barrel Polecats'.

What I remember is they're in prison doing hard labor by 'making big ones into little ones' with sledgehammers. After a succession of 'rocks' being hammered into pieces while resting on Curly's head, Larry picks up an obviously real, non-prop rock which elicits that response from Curly.

[matman8540]

Some of my faves. Oily To Bed, Oily To Rise; the boys trying to pry the pump out of the ground. Curly: I better get a roosterbar. Moe: Don't you mean a crowbar? Curly: Don't a rooster crow? In one of the shorts where they try to get turned into gentlemen; Professor: If you had $1, and your father had $1, how much money would you have? Larry: $1. Professor: You don't know arithmetic. Larry: You don't know our father.

[RBZatlas]

Laugh every time I see this its funny.

[RBZatlas]

This was from the episode How High Is Up.

[ronframe01]

"Let's go places and eat things"

[goyim1999]

would you rather have a shoe full of ones? or two socks of five???

(shemp) why, i just gotta have the two socks!!

(moe) you got it!! (open slap with both hands, on either side of head.

[j4bologna1998]

"why don't you get a toupee wit some brains in it!"

[iamcaboose1]

Gnuk gnuk gnuk gnuk. Or uh his woop woop woop woop woop woop.

[sezwhom]

I say Jasper, what comes after 75? 76! That's the spirit.

You goin' fishin? Yeah! You got worms? Yeah but I'm goin' anyway!

[JoeFisher12String]

mine was [ moe to curley]" hey does this sweater have a pink bow? NO! {slaps larry] & says " you idiot - ya cut his ear off!

[ushdr]

Haha mine is (moe) "wats your watch say?" (shemp) " it don't say nothing, you have to look at it" *slaps*

[webkinzstuido76]

My favorite is ''Could you spell cat for me Curly? Certainly, K-I-T-T-Y pussy!

[caloscalante1518]

My favorite is " I'm a victim of sycumstance"

[cuff1957]

are you going fishing? yeah you got worms, yeah but im going any how.

[What3verz]

Mine is from "disorder in the court" where Curly's game of Jacks interferes with Larry and Moe's game of tic tac toe...

Moe: Hey what's the idea of spoilin' the game?!?

Curly: I was for one-sies!!

Moe: Well here's two-sies!! (two finger eye poke)

Larry: Haha! He was for one-sies and you gave him two-sies!!"

Moe: And here's five-sies!! (punches Larry on top of his head)

[gonzolane]

@What3verz That is another great one. Disorder was the first stooge short I watched.

[WhiteBladeZero]

@gonzolane

Me too!

[ForgottenShadows101]

@gonzolane Same here. I have the 75th anniversery DVD with Disorder in the Court on it.

[mpmajer]

@What3verz Where do you think you are? Clany's pool room(SLAP!!!!!) Thats my favorite.

[OreoMan951]

@What3verz Moe didn't punch him he slapped him across the face.

[TheDukeOfEd99]

Teacher: Can you spell cat

Curly: Certainly, K...I...T...T...Y, pussy

[lakefloor]

When they're thawing out Curly by roasting him over a pit:

Moe: 30 seconds to a pound. We'll be here a month!