Best Of Malcolm Tucker - Part 1

[Robin4ever1970]

bahaha after watching this show, I came to believe that this is exactly how most politicians act like off-camera

[MNightTomalan]

And is the other guy Beckett from POTC 3?

[MNightTomalan]

Fuckity Byeee!!!!



[ChrisUKFF]

Arse spraying mayhem!

[lolasorocks10]

Why is his name Toby in the movie and not Oliver

[HCMusicAlliance]

@lolasorocks10 Everyone's character apart from Jamie, Malcolm and Sam is different but played by the same actors, confusing I know.

[lotsofcooki3s]

"How did your team do in the weekend..? " "Good?......" wanker LOL

[MrLonelyIsland]

" Get me Fuckin Brian!"

(Insert Dane Cook Reference here)

[H4NN1B4LCL]

R-Rated Gregory House :)

[KingMyron23]

should i take english class?

[ChromaAurora]

Armando Ianucci, you are a masterful writer.

[ben9345]

I love how you titled it best of malcolm tucker but its just all of malcolm tucker. Everything he says is classic!! :D

[gleasmonster]

12 people don't like swearing.

[Restayvien]

12 people have blacked up because it's youtube and nobody will ever know.

[CalumGilhooly]

Hilarious fucking stuff, got to love Malcolm the king of swearing. (the writing on this is inspired right enough). The sad thing about this film and the tv series is that these lame ass politicians in the story are miles better than the real ones! Mind boggling!

[2011twenty15]

"He should be talking about food parcels...not fuckin...ass-spraying mayhem."

[OPMcClellan]

Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock. Priceless.

[Raedan23]

blackmail through the medium of cakes is just pure genius

[DSchruteBeets]

4:30 Malcolm at his best

[shittyfagg]

get me fucking Brian!

[theMoporter]

Let them eat cock.

[TheJoe55223]

Just realised the guy at 4:10 is in Pirates of the Carribean 2 & 3

[TheJoe55223]

Us Scots are the undisputed kings of swearing.

[AgentDC76]

12 people need to relax and get Malcolm f'in Brian. :-p

[TheMetrobunny]

12 people should be put into a floatation tank and have it pumped full of sewage until the fuckin` drown.

[Deadman6990]

"I'm not holding any longer, what are you waiting for, a fucking sex change?"

[immortalass]

what the hell is wrong with that weirdo

[Elzebub666]

@immortalass He's Scottish ... and if you think HE'S bad, you should go to a pub in Scotland at Happy Hour.

[immortalass]

@Elzebub666

Oh boy :)

[RobbyTechno1]

This movie looks great you gotta love Malcolm

[ivybee1996]

He had me at "arse-spraying mayhem". :D

[MGSmucker64]

The Shitting Forecast

lol

[CrankyEater]

I work with public health people who are obsessed with diarrhea...they refuse to do any kind of other aid work (bed nets, etc)...and whenever they talk about diarrhea, I think about "ass-spraying mayhem." And I laugh really, really hard.

[matjohnroe]

I love Sam.

[fiveredpears]

War is neither foreseeable nor unforeseeable.

[NightmareTeeVee]

your suppose to shit yourrself in there, not here

[BgKnoccoutGangstaDre]

Why cant America have funny shit like this??

[metalheadliamcjs]

GET ME FUCKING BRIAN

If you don't get me Fucking Brian, i'm gonna come over there, i'm gonna lock you in a fucking flotation tank and pump it full of raw sewage until you fucking drown!

[502nickster]

12 people think war is unforeseeable.

[NeverMind9132]

Lmao, "Let them eat cock."

[lambie1985]

"your swearing doesn't impress me!" Judy.

Well, it impresses me!

[sdroska]

I aspire to have the same rapier-like wit that malcolm does

[mackeral182]

cutler beckett minus the wig lol

[DrTac09]

As spraying mayhem.

[1Sentient]

ass sprayin' mayhem

[KuriousJoe1]

He never fails to entertain ! Best swearing ever ! 

[hungoversundays]

Only quotes from "In the loop"??

None from "In the thick of it"??

[iOverBurdened]

The only thing i understood.

BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH...wanker BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH...Horse Cock.

Did i miss anything?

[jarbydnjksd]

@iOverBurdened Ass sprayin' mayhem, foetus boy and fuckity bye. Not much else, bro

[wegottoinstall]

@jarbydnjksd if you think thats the extent of humour in this clip you must be a fucking elmo-like, red, fucking retard. go home you clueless cunt.

[CapitalBhoy78]

Us Scots fucking swear better than any other cunts in the whole world.

[jimmy2k4o]

@CapitalBhoy78 ah yes Scotland the place where "cunt" is a pronoun :)

[woodins2008]

@CapitalBhoy78

Fucking true. I'm english but my da is a jock, and no one in my family can touch him when he's in a rage lol.

[relmmih6]

@woodins2008 do you understand him when he goes in a rant lol

[codecrt321]

@CapitalBhoy78 would love to have hear you say that out loud haha

[gojiguyver3]

@CapitalBhoy78 There is no denying you that XD.

[AshTheMohican]

@CapitalBhoy78 You're a close second. The Dutch are the best. We can absolutely destroy people with words. Ok lemme be politically correct. It's a shared first place. Lemme say this, you're the best at swearing in English. The yanks haven't got shit on you Scots. And Malcolm is inspiring in his choice of words.

[CapitalBhoy78]

@AshTheMohican Fuck off ya hash smoking, prostitute banging, clog wearing bunch of oranje cuntbag wankers.

Just kidding, yes the Dutch are good at it also, a very close second :-)

[boaby145]

@CapitalBhoy78 fuck off ya shite spewing pile of festering dog spunk....wanker.

[CapitalBhoy78]

@boaby145 Good starting point, keep working at it son.

[thatfilmgeekguy]

@CapitalBhoy78 amen to that. Malcolm accomplishes the otherwise impossible task of making me proud to be Scottish.

[MACCURRIE1]

...'yeah, maybe its best to spike it; Fuckity bye' big malc is the boy!

[eanielsen123]

the 12 people that disliked this are stupid southern baptist twats

[steerpike66]

I love both shows but Malcolm Tucker versus Greg House clearly illustrates that the American idea of what constitutes a hard-ass sociopathic bastard is fucking limp-wristed flaccid fairy crap compared to the UK version. House is a puppy dog compared to this grisy Glaswegian hound of hell.

[TheOneTitan]

@steerpike66 I think House is the ''Light'' version of Tucker xD

[rude1987]

How did your team do at the week-end?,,,,,wanker

[Robskit6]

I wish Malcome Tucker had been on the West Wing:)

[professionalkillergk]

...evidtible

[TheMimifur]

I find it utterly creepy and weird that now David Cameron has used the word "unforeseeable" in the context of war. Has the man no sense of Armando?

[stupidityletsplays02]

simon ive got us a HIYAAAAA :D jesus!! hahah

i dont think i could have kept calm either if peter capaldi was outside my toilet...

[stephyholmes]

'arse spraying mayhem' and 'what is this, the shitting forecast' are two highly underrated malcolmisms... then again maybe I just have an affinity for puerile humour

[luisgarcia7]

'Lubricated horse cock'

[lifeonloop]

Let them eat cock!

[CarolinaOcelot]

I'm here, I'm there, I'm fucking everywhere, I am the Eggman.

[thatguywiththename]

i tell you to fuck off whattya do?

f off?

you'll go far, now fuck off

[kierand1988]

It's brilliant to say when you actually are Scottish. Good times.

[ProudToBeNerdy]

"FUCKETY BYE."

I may adopt a Scottish accent just so I can say this stuff properly.

[WarClanProductionZ]

@ProudToBeNerdy These quotes are perfect when you ARE scottish :L

[awwwwnawww]

@ProudToBeNerdy get tae fuck ya english bawbag, does yur wee poofy accept no allow you get talk like that, "oohhh go get the teapot warmed up" FUCK OFF

[Concretshky]

Ron Weasley lol roflmao!!

[thefredsays]

Damn, I love the accent but at times can barely understand the slang in the thick of it. Amazing show, here in America our shows are apolitical.

[largesatsuma]

Only problem with all this awesome swearing is it makes me what to do it.

[FowardUntoDawn13]

This show only makes me want to join the civil service more!

[kalvinklein2]

oh my god ari gold (google him) and malcolm tucker going head to head would make my fucking life

[Anthonynotes]

Someone should post the general scene when he's doing the math on the kid calculator!!!

[RahDahRah109]

I reckon Malcolm just made the guiness world of records

for saying the most F-bombs in one movie

but still this movie's so funny

hope there will be another movie

[Phangkyu]

She's married? To a bastard.

[afroman255]

@Phangkyu he said poor bastard

[Skieskinfiril]

@Phangkyu *Poor Bastard,

[LeeCarl1974]

@Phangkyu I think it's "She's married? Poor Bastard". Scottish accent makes 'poor' sound slightly different to english pronunciation.

[myothernameistaken]

You know, they actually pay a professional swearing consultant to come up with these lines.

[grenda5]

what an amazing actor,really all of them are great actors,it is the best.

[beaniec9]

"yea ok, fuckity bye"

[ebraman809]

the ari gold if england

[thedirtypaw]

" your swearing doesnt impress me... " well it does impress me ffs :D

[jampt1989]

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this film is 99% accurate. So fucking witty

[everest001]

"Christ on a bendy-bus Simon, don't be such a faff-arse." Genius.

[sportsfan1010sd]

What does he mean by Walk the Line.

[jampt1989]

@sportsfan1010sd He means be a party lemming pretty much. Just do what Communications advisors, Malcolm, tell him to do

[raravickiii]

@sportsfan1010sd

Mp's in Parliament are supposed to "toe the party line" and not speak out against their party's general opinion. So if there is a war on mp's are supposed to say they agree with it to the press or resign.

[snakestorm123]

I love this film, and I know what Malcolm means when he say's 'the line' but is it exactly? What's he supposed to say when asked about war?

[sebadrum16]

what you waiting for, a fucking sex change LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

[bknollenberg]

The writing on Thick Of It and In The Loop is some of the most brilliant television writing ever. From what I understand they shot it scripted one time, then they would shoot every scene improvised and mix the two.

[Sesquipedaliantique]

"What is this, the shitting forecast?"

[domrussell69]

@Sesquipedaliantique In Britain at about twelve a clock at night the BBC broardcast a SHIPPING forecast for the waters of Britain, Ireland and the coast of Brittany. It is something that all Brits hear at least once in their lives and is fundamental to being British. It is followed by "Sailing By" and then the National anthum. Very British.

[Sesquipedaliantique]

@domrussell69 Wow, hold the bus, you actually felt the need to share this showstopping revelation TWICE? That's not just patronising, that's downright bloody insulting.

Of course I don't literally mean bloody. Bloody is a term we Brits use in a similar fashion to "god damn". Isn't learning fun?

[domrussell69]

@Sesquipedaliantique

It is a spoof of the Shipping forcast, see below.

[Sesquipedaliantique]

@domrussell69 Aww, thanks for clearing that up for me love =D Perhaps I already knew that, and found it funny enough to quote in a comment?

[Sascopa]

There's only two people in the White Stripes.....cracked me up :D:D:D

[orr89]

you'll go far......now fuck off.

[Mike220111]

lol

[jibberilins]

I love Malcolm Tucker. Best. Actor. Ever.

[szaleniec1000]

What is this, the Shitting Forecast?

[ambuj1991]

hey ..you ron weasley..you do it..hahahhahaha

[Hudsucker94]

Oh Fuck.So fuckin funny.I couldn't stop laughing at this guy. Too fuckin funny.

[camisacook]

not the time luv...busy...fuck off...

[xelarepusuperalex]

frankie boyle in 15 years :P

[b0b1919]

@xelarepusuperalex meh, Boyle is a poor man's Jerry Sadowitz

[analsculpture]

Eh you,foetus boy,you will fo far,fuck off!Priceless.Lubricated horse cock!Music to my ears.I want to hire Malcolm for my fiftieth birthday.

[smithdappa]

'you sounded like a Nazi Julie Andrews'... Genius!

[spleefrog9]

ass spraying mayhem, fuckity bye, lubricated horse cock, LET THEM EAT COCK!, this guy is LEGEND!!!

[0501856849]

4:30

[MjoelH]

You'll go far. Now fuck off.

[seekthetruth6006]

im busy fuck off

[barneylupoo]

the thick of it is pretty much the epitmoe of writing. brilliant plots, briliiant laugh out loud dialogue and i don't think swearing has ever been more poetic

[ClamChowderWebCast]

LET THEM EAT COCK!

[metatronius]

Fuckety bye !

[randomjrr1422]

I've got a horrible feeling that this film is not a millions miles away from the truth.

[midbsaj]

If only Malcolm Tucker was not a fictional character. He would beat David Cameron twelve shades of purple.

[jimmy2k4o]

dont u think a cop show with malcome as lead would be the best

[borbetomagus1]

allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnett on your perview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock.

GOLD.

[midbsaj]

@borbetomagus1 - Haha - fuck off back to Cranford Marie Antoinette with your tea and cup cakes and horse cock.

[Jefflebowski95]

'christ on a bendy bus!'

[tinyrebellion]

fuckity bye

[bobble55]

LOL ! 6:05 "You sound like a nazi Julie Andrews"

[StreghetteXXX]

i.love.him.

[ScarTissue1990]

Just realised the joke about clingfilm being a carcinogenic's a very clever one. (at 2.30ish). Oli's saying it's not, to his girlfriend who works for the Mail, which has a wonderful daily 'x gives you cancer' page.

God this shows good.

[ksrm2]

@ScarTissue1990 that's brilliant!

[AvaPozen]

Malcolm Tucker, unforgettable, that's what you are.

[giantgremlinboy]

Shes married ? Poor bastard !!! lol

[cyberdale]

"There's only two people in the White Stripes." Too funny!

[baillou2]

Ass sprayin' mayhem! Poetic.

[Slyfox38]

Your Hack husband betrayed you on October the 4th... and congratulations on the new baby!

Sheer brilliance! Tucker for PM!

[mikek2k6]

Best British comedy creation since Basil Fawlty.

[RockBottomRiser21]

one of the best videos on YouTube. Can't get enough of it.

[flyingtoilet1]

he needs to be pm

[tashpish]

he should be talkin about food parcels, not fuckin, arse sprayin mayhem!

[LozzyC]

I can't work out whether i feel incredibly attracted to malcolm or i just want to be him......hes like a god to me lol

[mangofrank35]

The absolute best...how does he make offensive profanitiy so endearing?!

[fare777]

Holy shit o.o this is awesome!

[thefltdriver]

That's because it's British political satire. At its finest.

[mjlennon83]

malcolm tucker is my official my life coach

[KenKob85]

Peter Capaldi should have being nominated for an Oscar this time around. Saw it for the first time on Sunday and loved it.

[olnusdecimus]

is the general concensus that this man is probably the funniest scottish man ive ever seen hes amazing!!

[tashpish]

"al fuckin snap your shin bones in fuckin half an fuckin stab you to death with them"

hahaha!!!

[iceisnice61]

My new Hero.

[editedbyfailure]

I wish I could swear this fucking elaborately.

[jimmyhvac]

Lubricated Horse Cock!

[newhopes]

Hey foetus boy, lesson one: If I tell you to f*** off, what will you do? - Eff off? - You'll go far. Now f*** off.

What a scene! He just swept everyone in his way :)

[domiloya]

"Right, the White Stripes outside. (Pause as all leave) There's oly two people in the white stripes."

[luisgarcia7]

hahahaha what a guy

[iceisnice61]

OMG, thats BRILLIANT.

sort of an updated "Yes, Minister".

I'm hooked.

[DrJohannFaust]

"I would have blacked up because it was radio, nobody would've known."

[maxfb2006]

Wow, Scottish Ari Gold

[tamclutcher]

Someone needs to arrange a meeting between Malcolm Tucker and Ari Gold from "Entourage." Immediately.

[mundanelifeof]

lol he makes profanity 1000x funnier than it normally is...

[theholmes]

"I'm gonna have to go to International Development and pull Simon Foster's fucking hair!"

"What's he waiting for? A fucking sex change?"

"Not the time, love. I'm busy, fuck off!"

Brilliant!

[partyhat3]

I hadn't but you are right!

[jamesphase]

Has anyone else noticed that Simon Foster is played by the same person (Tom Hollander) who plays Malcolm's opposite number in the Tory party in the last episode of series 3 - Cal Richard who everyone is terrified of, and refers to as "the fucker"