Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: Jesus vs. The Atheists

[NoraInuUzumaki666]

Adjusting boobs xD lets fight

[Earo16]

This is a masterpiece

[ultrapoppo]

1:55 - Picnic girl doesn't care.

[dtm52]

Is Jesus picking up those pieces of wood on the Sabbath. Of course, per the Bible, that would mean death for Jesus.

[WisemanSam599]

How did all those atheists fit in the jeep?  I thought Jesus was the one who was supposed to do miracles!

[LibertarianINT]

@WisemanSam599 You're thinking of clowns....wait...carry on.

[TheAsylumrunner]

This is the greatest thing to ever be a thing ever

[kaas94]

no pain

[neoshenlong]

THis movie is so bad that it is awesome.

[flpflpflp]

that's silly and biblically incorrect

we all know Jesus didn't fight kung-fu

he was more of a Muay Thai type of guy

[sapunec7854]

I didn't know all atheists were mexicans...

[DoctorChibi740]

The God said... let there be ASS-KICKING!!

[tsartodd]

@ 4:47 the Jesus version of the Indiana Jones swordfight scene.

XD

[starrrrrrrx]

should've just camped on the driver side of that jeep with a shotty..

[MartianBuddy88]

I'm not gonna lie, if Jesus showed up again I'd be right off the atheist train. These guys are DEDICATED to their lack of religion.

[rubberbaby00]

Don't they know the only way to kill a Jesus is with silver tipped nails?

[Themexicansnob]

I knew it! The atheists travel around in a tardis!

[teerav707]

Most Interesting man in the world , Chuck Norris, Jesus cage match anyone?

[ameba93]

Song?

[FreakinNate]

5:37 BEST PART

[punkisALIVEagain]

2:00 guy in a Venom shirt! fuck yeah!

[AdviserMoppet]

I'm an Atheist and this scene is freakin funny as hell!

[necrogenesis1981]

Ahh, sacrilege is so sweet. I loved this movie lol.

[doromac23]

Jesus hits women.

[RainbowDashXSyndrome]

Even Apatheists can have a superlol outta this <3 God, I love this movie.

[jer1ndie]

LOL Jesus looks kinda like Liam Gallagher xD

[AoEnigMoonxPhase]

The guy w/ the staff is only a white belt...lol I thought this was hilarious!

[linkuei83]

Jesus must been trained by Chuck Norris.

[LolFaceization]

This movie was so funny. the worst part about it is the bad cameras.

[ctits]

Why didn't my boy JC lay down some of that holy rolling, ass kicking rage on the Romans? Crucifix this biatch!

[richardwithanarr]

We atheists tend to pack into cars like we're clowns, apparently. I must be hanging out with the wrong group of atheists because my friends and I tend to enjoy our leg room.

[DevilInPgh]

More movies need clown-car scenes like this.

[kpingvin]

It's like a porn movie without the porn part.

[animation3dfx]

This video is totally gay...lol.

[DragonoftheEastblu]

awesome! lol! a habs fan?! that should have been a leafs fan cuz habs rule all!

[777AlexAnd777]

Jesus is Neo

[danielgulyas02]

1:16

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!

[danielgulyas02]

I want all my fight scenes like this... I've never laughed so hard.

[andoc]

Jesus faith powered attacks can knock out a person in one hit. Never mess with the Son of the Father.

And yeah, I'm an atheist and I found this clip incredibly funny.

[Vlaxerman343]

@andoc I think both atheist and Christians found this kinda funny

[caseybv74]

@andoc correction son and father

[narukofan2]

What's sad is some Atheists think love and compassion for others is a mental illness is a weakness and think there is no real need for it.

Please note:

I'm talking about some Atheists not all Atheists.

Also having love and compassion for others is not a mental illness and without it people would rape and kill each other.

People who think that love and compassion for others is a mental illness is a weakness are mostly heartless people.

[CherryFairy02]

@narukofan2 We're not here to start a debate. We're just here to enjoy a hillariously bad movie. :3

[unabomberman]

@narukofan2

That's just silly. Being an atheist does not make you prone to believing love and compassion are mental illnesses--it's got NOTHING to do with that. Even those 'some atheists' you speak of. They are most likely crazy fucked up people, but not because they don't believe in the magic man.

[richardmaudsley77]

@narukofan2 "some athiests"

Then that shows that athiesm is not the cause, so what the fuck are you even mentioning athiests for?

Do not dress up your bigotry like that. Be a bible bashing loon, or not. No inbetweens.

[neoshenlong]

@narukofan2 Those atheists you're talking about have a mental illness themselves, and would probably believe those things even if they were religious.

[Flargaful]

wow... just wow. that was so idiotic it was downright hilarious! this is great! ^^

"you don't know us, because we've never talked to you before." Jeeeeeeeze! XD

[awesommgirl]

This is the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life... I wasted 6 freaking minutes on this un entertaining film. This is just crap.

[ashestoyoursoul]

@awesommgirl what did you expect with a title like that?

[eddiegfan22]

Those 342 dislikes were the atheists who got out of the car..

[BeeswaxCandle]

Best bit is easily when he kicks that woman's foot and she shoots back into the tree. Also, lol at the sounds effects! <3 Gotta love this film.

[ASithTheyCalledEmo]

JESUS WAS BURNING WOOD ON A SATURDAY! BURN THE WITCH!!!

[blacker456]

Anyone know the name of the Techno song in the backround?

"Lets get on with the conversions"

[TheJunkieBox]

2:28 - 2:40 best part

[kubush]

I tried watching this movie but had to turn it off half way through. It just wasn't funny. The plot is just horrible. The movie had zero entertainment value.

[istheshiz]

@kubush Thats why its great! its so horrible hahaha

[Flargaful]

@kubush yeah, this kind of movie you need to have a particular mind set to even watch let alone enjoy, but if you can get past the utter stupidity, it is quite funny

[ArchangelSteve]

It's no wonder Christians feel oppressed.

[BloodeatingDespot]

@ArchangelSteve Christians are the majority, and have been the ones doing the oppressing since the Edict of Milan. There is no reason for the majority to feel oppressed.

[robvlob]

Maybe those atheists read the bible, took it literally, and where trying to convert to Christianity. They just seen a guy that was gathering wood on the sabbath and decided to do their part to satisfy God, they just didn't realize it was Jesus being hypocritical.

[TGilmoreX]

I want the song! Anyone know who does it and/or what the name of it is?

[mrw07180]

Instead of karate the atheists should have defeated him with logic and reason

[jordanneff]

2:22 did Jesus just punch that chick in the throat?!

[Halfadomino]

This movie is fail... Lulzy.

[dookerdo]

As an atheist, I found this immensely entertaining.

[nannerz716]

why are the Atheists packed in that van like mexicans in a van?

[butlerlog]

2:22 jesus beats a woman

[Giby86]

@butlerlog Hey. He's the fucking son of fucking god. He can beat anyone.

[youareweirdify]

@Giby86 can he beat chuck norris? i doubt it

[Giby86]

@youareweirdify Point taken. After all, Jesus is the son of god, which is the son of Chuck Norris.

[youareweirdify]

@Giby86 and Chuck said, "Let their be God" and lo after a mighty roundhouse kick, God was bought into existence. Chuck made God in his own image just with a slightly less manly beard

[Giby86]

@youareweirdify Haha! This is SO 2008! XD

[zyrphath]

@Giby86 You might notice that it is actually 2007 ^^

[Giby86]

@zyrphath 2007 is SO 2008.

[urka666]

the music always reminds me of the reptile liu kang fight )))

[hench1985]

i think the best part is when he drops the wood after they identify themselves as atheists. It's all dramatic, I love it.

[rivera229]

Well, so much for turning the other cheek.

[CRUSH3Rdlux]

hahahahah GIT EM! xD this shit is awesome!

[BuddyJesusChrist]

I would totally have cast Chuck Norris as Jesus

[apieceofstring]

Almost two dozen atheists can fit into the same jeep, thanks to the miracle of Scientific Naturalism!

Unfortunately we aren't very good at kung fu. v_v

[MrMadpackit]

WHERE CAN I WATCH THIS FUCKING AWESOME MOVIE!? ITS FREAIN AWESOME

[mrpadrote1001]

@MrMadpackit the entire movie is here on youtube.

[livingoutloud40]

@MrMadpackit

netflix it brah

[greenimp111]

The car is a spawn point!

[kitsune720]

@greenimp111 That's not a spawn point, its a portal to hell! ...oh wait, same thing I guess. xD

[CarolinaOcelot]

I'm more or less an atheist, but Jesus is way cool.

[chivasplaya993]

beaner packed the car

[groar86]

If only church and Jesus were that awesome! I'd totally give up my agnostic ways and preach the holiness of Jesus-Fu!

I don't know what the best part: the guy who gets to be punched by his own hand or the dreadlock guy that uses his dreads to attack!

[Redam]

yo quiero una camioneta asi

[volemak2]

@DSD1v57BG32

Nobody is saying that vampires are atheists. This is only a scene from the movie where Jesus fights ("converts") some regular guys who brand themselves as atheists.

[DSD1v57BG32]

@volemak2

yea, i know, just got confused with the title.

[actorben]

If only Jesus could kick ass like that in real life!

[Linkchvary]

wow, a lot of people fit in that car.

[DSD1v57BG32]

@Linkchvary

There mexican.

[SpikeOcampo]

first la quebradora and then 5:28 Zidane Style!!!!

is so awesome!!!!

[ymydy4]

i don't believe it!

[CaptCamping]

during the fight the bodies dissapeared, at the end they went back wtf

[xaldin2phase]

where i can get that song ?¿

[numbercruncher4000]

@Chuichupachichi

Uhh, Godwin's Law?

[singingponguin]

athiest clown car! love it!

[ThaPoopa]

3:40 is just win.

[unimal1288]

I love Jebus

[chainaxe8]

That jeep was a fucking clown car! 4 waves of people at least!

[asteroth876]

I'm an atheist myself, but I have to say that scene was so over the top that it was a hoot! Thanks for posting this, 5 stars.

[lordboojum]

It's a clown jeep.

[Chuichupachichi]

I wonder what is the "deep seeded" reason why atheists always seem to produce videos in which Jesus kicks ass?

Recently I saw one of those animated celebrity death matches in which Jesus kicked Hitler's ass

Very strange indeed?

Oh wait, I think it just came to me? That Atheists depict themselves getting their asses kicked by Jesus, is from a guilty conscience.

[swordmaster39]

can you like not take this seriously. i bet you anything they made this cause it's hilarious. which it is.

so quit shitting cows and just let it go

[Chuichupachichi]

@swordmaster39,

Are you serious? You can't be real. Exactly what part of my posts has lead you to determine that I saw this video as something "serious"?

Was it the "Jesus kicks ass" part?

Or was it my suggestion that atheists relieve themselves by inflicting a virtual video ass kicking upon themselves?

It's ok, I understand... you're merely an Ape

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi "you're merely an Ape"

Is that a stab at evolution? If so you're a bigger retard than I thought. And btw, we are part of the ape family.

[swordmaster39]

i'm an ape? just stfu. you're going on about something that doesn't matter...like really, nobody really gives a shit about why they made this

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi Hitler wasn't an atheist you retard.

[Chuichupachichi]

@kubush,

Oh, now I'm the retard?

OK, genius monkey boy, suppose you answer this question correctly... in light of the context of this latest spewing of yours

Who do you suppose will win the ongoing struggle to become the greatest Anti-Jesus group of people

A) Atheists

B) Occultists such as was Hitler

Personally, I think they're neck to neck at the moment.

But of course, only if one disregards the fact that materialists/atheists are the useful idiot pawns of the Occultist Loserferians!

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi Anti-jesus? Atheists arent anti-jesus....they're anti-idiots such as yourself.

And Hitler was a Roman Catholic. But even if you try to squirm out of that one by saying his Catholicism was twisted, you can't argue out of the fact that 99% of Nazi Germany was Roman Catholic.

[Chuichupachichi]

@kubush,

{Atheists arent anti-jesus}

There's no sense in even arguing over that one. Being that you bunch of idiots can never allow for a standard to be established. What you will do one day, you will claim to not subscribe to on the next day. Both atheism & evolution can become whatever is necessary under the present circumstances. Whatever is required to win the current argument. How does it feel to be a bitch? If you could, you to would call police simply to get your way... "unfalsifiable"!

[kubush]

Well if idiots like you didn't try to establish strawman standards maybe you wouldnt feel that way. Of course atheism is unfalsifiable. You can't disprove a negative. Evolution on the other hand is very easily falsifiable.

"How does it feel to be a bitch?"

I wouldn't know, ask your mother.

[Chuichupachichi]

@kubush,

{And Hitler was a Roman Catholic}

Typical atheist... immediately after calling me an idiot, you begin your next sentence with "And". It's such a basic, rudimentary rule of grammar that only an idiot can be of your age and still write like that

No doubt that if you ever quit being an atheist, you'll become a Catholic... ignorant & arrogant all at once. Much like your anti-Jesus buddy...Hitler

I don't have to squirm. Hitlers Catholicism wasn't twisted. It was murderous like always

[kubush]

"only an idiot can be of your age and still write like that"

And yet you don't use periods at the end of your sentences. lol. I am aware of what proper grammar is and I purposefully wrote an "And" in the beginning of the sentence simply for convinience and due to the character limit. I guess you are used to ignoring a person's actual point and try to lecture on grammar.

Hitler was delusional just like you.

[groar86]

@Chuichupachichi Meh, I don't feel guilty (ok that I'm an agnostic, but whatever), I just think it's funny to see a Jesus that is portrayed in a weird way (as in a super fighter). :U

[Chuichupachichi]

But now Atheists are delusional.

A virtual video punishment doesn't truly make it "debt paid in full"... all is OK again

Your punishment must be far more brutal than a mere ass kicking. You must stand before all your Atheist friends & sincerely declare.... you "believe"

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi Wow you're an idiot.

[Chuichupachichi]

@kubush,

Of course, and all non idiots understand that they've undeniably proved such things with mere assertions comprised of 4 words

Hopefully some day, if I continue to diligently study your volumes of written genius, I too will be brilliant... as are you!

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi I am just calling a spade a spade.

[Chuichupachichi]

@kubush,

Well, I'll take it as a compliment that you identify me as a human being... being that it's coming from a mere Ape. But what makes you think I'm Black?

[kubush]

@Chuichupachichi Huh? I never said that you're black....wtf?

[caliginousstarfire]

interesting, so this is what Christians masturbate to? :)

[thedayitriedtodie]

this is an atheist movie, u door knob.

this is the video the christians like to flag, that's what.

[caliginousstarfire]

So what?

Thanks for your opinion! It was a joke ... moron!

[thedayitriedtodie]

hahah

no it wasn't , lol.

[Meiscochan]

I love the fact that this movie is so low budget, the whole fight scene you can see regular people in this park having lunch and picnics right behind them lol

[ngord]

real enough for you? lol

[czarasss]

5:38 - i love that xd

[Meiscochan]

indeed the stop motion in this movie = win that and the number of endless atheists that come out of the jeep, it's like a circus when all the clowns come out of a clown car

I love this movie lol

[XavierDrake]

i was totally waiting for him to say

MY JESUS SENSES ARE ALL TINGLY!!!!

[technicallyabsurd]

Atheists. There are a lot of us.

[ngord]

suffer not a aethist to live

[PKBitchGirl]

That jeep is like Michelle Duggar's lady garden!

[szarnijo]

2.06: best trick ever

and a question. how many people can transport this vehicle?

[bartyfarslar]

nice clothesline at 2:30

[Chiflado21]

now that's what I call turning the other cheek

[Bookooman2606]

dude this is epic

[FuckReligiousPeople]

atheism owns jesus

[tsartodd]

Jesus Christ roundhouse kicks better than Chuck Norris lol.

[gunfighter8125]

mexicans jeep

[Jmf619]

lol! my theatre teacher is the guy in orange hair

[Platadog]

lmao the treee

[Skac01]

All stupid atheist kids should see this and learn! Jesus kicks ass.

[AliG4life]

All stupid religious kids should stop believing in fairytales. Jesus sucks ass.

[Skac01]

Jesus could own you and Sacha Baron Cohen in seconds! He trained Bruce Lee.

[AliG4life]

True =D

[mohawk1323]

fuck u u mother fucker jesus will smight u faggot

[AliG4life]

Oh noes, don't ''smight'' me =P

[ripdeth]

best horribly bad movie ever.

[Hawdkoah]

Haha, I love this movie. Everyone who keeps bitching about the atheist thing need to get over it. It's a comedy, there's really no need to take it so seriously.

[fino88]

2:22 jesus just punched a woman haha

[eclecticstars]

That was just plain good old fashioned crap. It made me want to eat me own eyes. Why would Atheists attack jesus? they know he never existed and is merely a composite of gods that went before.

[MajorHater99]

Kid at 2:04 throws the worst punch in history. Worst fight scene ever for sure.

[yoyoball]

why r there soo many people hopping out of small jeeps??? its like mexico in there lol

[JB0RG]

the best part is that this was actually made in Canada

[bossou5555]

1:02 lol

[andreasravancinni]

Atheist FLOOD \o\

[dtmbcorp]

Could someone link me to some trance of a similar style? Like not all excessively cheery and stuff?

[tetlik]

Awesome! :)

It was my first Troma movie I watched.

[fakespotter]

the bad guys really dress like atheists

[TheSoSoAgnostic]

Are you an 11 year old?

[fakespotter]

WHO AM I?

[matrixch88]

Lmao at jesus XD

[stopcicles]

Why do people with no talent insist on making movies? The concept is funny, but the Romans had better execution...

...you get it? Cause they executed Jesus...

...fuck you. Don't judge me.

[Molle85]

I wonder if Jesus used the same special effects 2000 years ago to persuade the ignorant and superstitious people...

[FractalBolt]

Oh god, Jesus kicked our atheistic asses!

[ObsidianJones]

It does my heart good to know my personal Lord and Savior pimp strolls to Porn music during his idle time.

[maygodsaveyoursouls3]

nearly 2000 yrs and still standing,bring it on satan droids.lol.

[CalicoVall]

They must have a few vials of Acme Instant Minions in that jeep.

Shadow of Doubt isn't gonna be happy when he finds out. ^^

[Panattan]

5:39 is awesome!

[AHPMB]

Four things to love. First the clown car jeep. Second all the 'atheists' dressed like Matrix rejects, third Jesus fighting like one of the Three Stooges, and finally the obvious /b/tard in the afro-wig.

[IAmFwee]

I'm an atheist, and I think this movie is fucking awesome.

Especially the soundtrack.

[lloydermenda]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! I need to know what this songs name is, please, if anyone knows it please responde xDDD

[Tayvar]

5:30 jesus use zinedine martial arts style.