If there's no hope for pale, skinny, bland faced men who pause way too much when delivering their lines, then why is Spock still hotter than a supernova - even in the new movie (where he plays a 180 year old)? It isn't the fact that they're pale or skinny, or bland or pause-y, it's that Nimoy can act, and he rose above his material. Pattinson just isn't a good enough actor to rise above the dreck that is Twilight.
Plus Bella is a sad, sad excuse for the modern version of Nurse Chapel. ;)
hey there's nothing wrong with (real) pale skinny guys :O they're awesome, and one of my fave guys (Mikey Way from MCR)'s a pale skinny guy :) so hey, there IS hope for you, no need to feel bad :P
that aisde, awesome vid, just as funny as Bella VS rifftrax XDD
This Edward Cullen guy is creepy as hell. Dragging a girl into the woods against her will, saying stuff like "as if you could fight me off!" and forcefully shoving her against a wall. Maybe this Bella chick should be bringing mace with her.
Nice touch. Here i thought i would just have to be merciful and use the gun modification from Mass Effect that would make Edward burn to a pile of ashes, but letting someone shock his raisins and toothpick would be a nice antipasto to the inevitable slaughter.
@gumstuckinmybraces I think you're confusing Edward with Ziggy. Edward's the creepy old guy who hangs around high schools to pick up underage girls with threats of violence.
@gumstuckinmybraces So, he's pretending to be asleep to give Bella's mom the illusion of privacy, while listening to every word she says? This guy gets classier all the time.
Robert Pattinson's performances in the "Twilight" films makes sense if you imagine he took a MASSIVE bong hit before each take. You ever see a guy who's so unbelievably stoned that he's THERE physically, but barely there mentally? Pattinson reminds me of that. And the moments where he looks nauseous were just because he ate too many snacks from the Catering table on set.
@DrMickster I noticed that Edward says he doesn't sleep, and then is shown sleeping quite soundly at the hospital.
But what can you expect from a woman who apparently wants to steal the "teaching young girls abusive relationships are desirable" crown from Disney?
That's quite apart from her efforts to win the "teaching girls to be defined solely by their male partners" title, also currently held by Disney. It's really something of a dual belt.
"llllllllllladies." "what was our math homework?" "ah ha, i'm gay." "food ruins my lipstick." i don't have... "a wang." "alright, you're a total homo." "an off brand version of johnny depp wearing body glitter." "so you're as gay as all hell aren't you?" " 'kind of plan,' it's not that damn hard!" "does this bug you? i'm not touching you." "ladies & gentlemen, please direct your attention to the clock tower where a pasty douche bag will be exposing himself."
Simba, remember who you are.
TheBelieveit1 1 week ago
Team: Guy who almost hit Bella with a car
TheBelieveit1 1 week ago
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllladies.
eastwing329 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I've only seen this movie and the second one. And both times I was forced to do so to please a woman. Anyone else?
Yapshire 2 months ago
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Yapshire 2 months ago
Comment removed
Yapshire 2 months ago
You see, im a koala bear
SamuraiPie8111 2 months ago
Okay if his face at 6:15 is any indicator, the concept of "plans" disgusts him.
JamesOhGoodie 3 months ago
If there's no hope for pale, skinny, bland faced men who pause way too much when delivering their lines, then why is Spock still hotter than a supernova - even in the new movie (where he plays a 180 year old)? It isn't the fact that they're pale or skinny, or bland or pause-y, it's that Nimoy can act, and he rose above his material. Pattinson just isn't a good enough actor to rise above the dreck that is Twilight.
Plus Bella is a sad, sad excuse for the modern version of Nurse Chapel. ;)
EmmaOnATangent 4 months ago 4
hey there's nothing wrong with (real) pale skinny guys :O they're awesome, and one of my fave guys (Mikey Way from MCR)'s a pale skinny guy :) so hey, there IS hope for you, no need to feel bad :P
that aisde, awesome vid, just as funny as Bella VS rifftrax XDD
metalangel12311 4 months ago
Lmao my stomach!
NoHeartNoLove11 5 months ago
I can't get over how they just struck him about the face with a powder puff and completely forgot about his neck
UkeFoxx 5 months ago
"KIND OF PLAN. Its not that damn hard."
IrreveRANT100 6 months ago
AH HA! Im gay
19teenybee94 6 months ago
Good god Edward is very unpleasant looking man. His face is so.............pointy.
JanayMcFearless 7 months ago
@JanayMcFearless Lmfao
NoHeartNoLove11 5 months ago
Jealous, jealous, funny middle-aged men.
Sistererica 7 months ago
"Edward is fully baked at this point."
iwpoe 9 months ago
He couldn't have turned into Christopher Walken, because that would have been a little entertainin
jackedsamurai772 9 months ago
This is the closest I'll ever get to watching or reading these "stories."
AFLoneWolf 10 months ago
Mommy look a pervert! haha
EndangeredAngel 11 months ago
This Edward Cullen guy is creepy as hell. Dragging a girl into the woods against her will, saying stuff like "as if you could fight me off!" and forcefully shoving her against a wall. Maybe this Bella chick should be bringing mace with her.
LuckySharm 1 year ago
You know, stalkers really good get ideas from this character. It's scary. O_o
And Stephanie Meyers will get blamed...
BelovedCaptain 1 year ago
"Tell me what your thinking"
"It involved unwanted boners" LOL!!
YESHUAISMERCIFUL 1 year ago
"I like watching you sleep. It's um.. extra creepy." Indeed it is. XD
Dragonlord4061 1 year ago
"LLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies."
BEST. RIFF. EVER. :D
MeatloafBomb 1 year ago 5
its like the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder
kastan06 1 year ago
at 4:41 the make up artist should have known that his ear and neck are 2 shades darker thean his face!!!
gothgirl16 1 year ago
@gumstuckinmybraces
Nice touch. Here i thought i would just have to be merciful and use the gun modification from Mass Effect that would make Edward burn to a pile of ashes, but letting someone shock his raisins and toothpick would be a nice antipasto to the inevitable slaughter.
FrostbittenWolf 1 year ago
"Despite the fact of his naked torso, she's still sprinting towards him. Odd."
FrostbittenWolf 1 year ago
@gumstuckinmybraces I think you're confusing Edward with Ziggy. Edward's the creepy old guy who hangs around high schools to pick up underage girls with threats of violence.
guysmiley00 1 year ago
@gumstuckinmybraces So, he's pretending to be asleep to give Bella's mom the illusion of privacy, while listening to every word she says? This guy gets classier all the time.
guysmiley00 1 year ago
"hey a Dracula I'm coming to lunch you call me when you get some ok!" I shit and pissed myself laugh.
and
5:01 to 5:08 Hil-Fucking-arious!
XD
WiccanMann04 1 year ago
Robert Pattinson's performances in the "Twilight" films makes sense if you imagine he took a MASSIVE bong hit before each take. You ever see a guy who's so unbelievably stoned that he's THERE physically, but barely there mentally? Pattinson reminds me of that. And the moments where he looks nauseous were just because he ate too many snacks from the Catering table on set.
JamesOhGoodie 1 year ago
my personal fave (which was, unfortunately, not here):
"We think of ourselves as vegetarians. We only survive on the blood of animals." "Ah, so your family is confused or stupid."
arocknrolldream 1 year ago 21
@arocknrolldream I liked that one too. But I felt it was more a riff on the Cullen family, rather than on Edward himself, so I didn't include it.
WesHatesYourMovie 1 year ago 6
:15-:22
"pretty tough to look badass standing next to a Volvo"
1:10-1:15
"He's like the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder"
"when seven year olds flirt"
"vampire fart boy dispersed"
purpleshamrock17 1 year ago
Did anyone ever notice that when Bella said "No bed?", there is a couch thing that strongly resembles a bed?
DrMickster 1 year ago
@DrMickster I noticed that Edward says he doesn't sleep, and then is shown sleeping quite soundly at the hospital.
But what can you expect from a woman who apparently wants to steal the "teaching young girls abusive relationships are desirable" crown from Disney?
That's quite apart from her efforts to win the "teaching girls to be defined solely by their male partners" title, also currently held by Disney. It's really something of a dual belt.
guysmiley00 1 year ago
"I'm sorry, I just turned into Christopher Walken for a minute."
tennispink 1 year ago
belladonna4577 1 year ago
Said it before, say it again, guy makes Hayden's Anakin look like Laurence Oliver in his prime.
Anynom 1 year ago
@Anynom LOL wow, that's harsh! I'd say they're on pretty even ground.
ischulz 1 year ago
"I feel very..gassy."
"I don't have...a wang."
"No, I don't...have a personality."
"I like watching you sleep. It's, um...extra creepy!"
"So you're...you're as gay as all hell, aren't you?"
"Some people. No giant pause necessary."
"KIND OF PLAN. It's not that damn hard."
"He wants to be alone...with other girls."
"I have one...condition...syphillis."
I think the only reason these personality vacuums pause so damn much is to make room for Rifftrax jokes. There's no other explanation.
Iamafishproductions 1 year ago 68
@Iamafishproductions Directors of crappy, nauseating movies deliberately making room for riffs would be a welcome development if it were true. :)
Wes964 1 year ago