George Carlin. People I Can Do Without.

[raeven1212]

can you imagine someone getting haunted by george, that would be funny

[cheena527]

Wow. I miss George,, so sad he is not around anymore, 4 sure I feel he is in heaven telling everyone that stands in his way 2 get the fuck out!! Miss u George. I been u/r fan since the 80's when u performed in the Playhouse in Union City NJ> My home town. My favorite stand up u did,, Lying Politicians,, No one said it better then u !!!!!!!! RIP> I wish u were cloned, no one can b u.  RIP Love u from a fan Marisa 4 ever!

[tardwhisperer]

Well. George has been converted now. All he would like to talk about is Jesus now.

[anonymous802]

@tardwhisperer Oh shut the hell up you imbecile.

[musicizgood]

People who mention the people who copy jokes from the video verbatim into the comments thread.. looking for upvotes

[eisfresh]

@guyNbluejeans go fuck yourself

[guyNbluejeans]

@eisfresh Can't you at least come up with something halfway bright?

[eisfresh]

@guyNbluejeans please shove a gerbil up your ass while your getting blown by a homeless man

[artfay69]

Guys in their 50's named Skip: SKIP BAYLESS OF ESPN!

[danj1701d]

He kinda looks like Obi Wan Kenobi in this video, without the robe.

[MostBever]

"people with only one lip"?

"A dentist with blood in his hair"?

Did he just try to see how long the audience would listen? Some of the face gestures he made was like "you like the bullshit I say, you zombies?".

Could be or not, but he probably thought of it though.

[12106445]

George Carlin.

[GreenRad2012]

People who see drama even when there is ..none.

:>

[Whatwon1]

it doesn't matter what videos you watch on youtube, there's always at least one asshole who has to start some faggot debate or argument, cut the shit, assholes.

[Whatwon1]

people who use a dildo as a butter churn

[bloodguzzler]

People whose favorite four words are "Big Brother is watching"

[TheCartoonCorner]

Couples whose children's names all start with the same initial... *cough* the Duggars...

[marktrib]

@bloodguzzler amen bro. Joe bless you

[americanu197]

people who film their tv screen then post it on you tube...just updating the material

[davheromany]

Anyone who copies jokes off the internet.

[BraveManNewWorld]

First time i see George with a blue t-shirt

[bloodguzzler]

Anyone who claims they took an arrow to the knee

[jb111082]

@bloodguzzler Guys who claim that it's over 9000!

[DragoonBoom]

I swear, he's just saying anything at this point. He knows his audience is stupid and will laugh and hoot to anything that he says.

[CoolerKing37]

@DragoonBoom Why ya gotta be a cunt?

[DragoonBoom]

@CoolerKing37 I'm not a cynic, which is what you were probably trying to say. I'd say that I'm realist. Empty titles like "educated", "inquisitive" and "free-thinker" come to mind as well. George Carlin would be too for that matter.

You on the other hand are not.

[CoolerKing37]

@DragoonBoom No, I didn't mean to say cynic. I'm pretty sure I meant to say cunt. You can list all the adjectives you wish you were, but "cunt" is the only accurate one.

[12106445]

@DragoonBoom Just simple minded ones like.

[German2Chocolate]

Guys with lots of little pins in his hate...that would be my father...

[fasterbass123]

People who comment about people who copy jokes from the video and put them into the comments!

[szqsk8]

Vaginal jelly? Does he mean lube like KY? I'm a chick and have never heard that term.

[shogyi]

@szqsk8 yes thats a kind of it

[salvo711]

His expression at 1:13 is absolutely priceless.

[RubilacEx]

People who copy jokes from the video verbatim into the comments thread! People who upvote them!

[HansFriedrichKammler]

@RubilacEx to be honest Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

and this man is the Socrates of our time

better copy him then the punks on TV

we love u George

cheers

[MrGonzales0303]

Your Mother......

[dcs290]

2:13 LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[TedEdFred21]

i am about 70% of these.

[1playingyou]

3:10 Kardashains we could all do without them!!!!

[skaterguy69666]

Charlie Sheen

[suicidesnowman14]

rickroll trolls

[plasmanarwhal]

When he makes those disgusted looks, you can tell he's come across those people more often. Great work, Mr. Carlin.

[jaredabccrisscross]

A pediatrician who got his medical degree from Penn State University

[AthensGuitarLessons]

@emoNokes HA! I was just about to post that myself.

[DINOLOVER6717]

People who sit at traffic lights waiting for a different color green...

[aladdin1052]

Here's a new one:

A pilot that needs cataract surgery.

[carlinrulez666]

Anybody that refuses to go to work or school, because it is hitler's birthday.

[forremr]

I really miss George; he really told it like it is!

[toekneeeyeoweme]

A crosseyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin...ha ha

[pat4luigi13]

This is a man of imagination.

[superhornet69]

His looks of utter disgust, surprise and alarm are priceless...doesn't get any better than this.

[GingerKidZach]

When he said "a man in a hospital gown directing traffic" I fucking lost it. XD

[GingerKidZach]

When he said "a man in a hospital gown directing traffic" I fucking lost it. XD

[Sportster0306]

I wish I could have seen 4:06

[somatotandwich]

Girls that get drunk and throw up at breakfast!

[petercarpenter1]

All the youtubers

-who write stupid comments:)

[lificpro]

people who dont brush their teeth and face you close up when they talk to you

[buakawkaoklai]

I DONT LIKE SEEING CARLIN NOT WEARING BLACK....BLACK VISSUALLY PUTS EDGE TO HIS STYLE OF HUMOR

[Makoto7494]

For me, I would have to include some more stuff. Starting with, "People who actually believe that love will find them without them having to work." That's not romantic. That's fucking lazy.

[maxydude98]

A brain surgeon with a born to lose tattoo on his hand

[thomasford]

This would be funny if it were relatable in the slightest...

[CoolerKing37]

@thomasford You know most of these aren't real people, right? You're missing the joke.

[TheDJIdris]

@thomasford the joke is that they aren't common and relatable- but exist, plausible, and also slights to these contradictory subjects. when you have to explain the joke - it can often lose its substances, but ill "humor" you anyway: a funeral director who says "hope to see you again" - its a guy who just doesn't take his grave job seriously; wtf? these are several wtf people, who exactly exist. a dentist with blood in his head is a professional you can't trust. get the drift, buddy?

[Dpudlow]

My dad is 55 and nicknamed Skip. True story.

[carlinrulez666]

@Dpudlow

Carlin mentioned if their name was Skip, not nickname.

[nelsonr12]

A pimp who drives a toyota corolla 

[sandytinky]

Carlin was never funny. He's like a crazy uncle who does nothing but complain for two hours straight.

[tpauluchs]

@sandytinky His books were funny. His stand-up... Yeah, pretty much complaining

[4615larkc]

ppl who have big gums & LITTLE TEETH! I LOVE IT

[illmusicdood]

What if you are one of the kids your parent's named with the same first initials?

[DROOPY3468]

an usher at a church who wants to buy weed with the collection money!.

a priest that twitters during mass on NAMBLA website!

a pornstar that weighs 800 pounds and refuses to be in the bottom!

a woman with calluses under her eyes!

[surfer53]

Here's one: People who come to Vancouver, don't expect to get screwed by Americans who pretend to know something about hockey, and pose as real hockey fans with the intent on starting riots. Here's 2 fingers in the air just for you.

[SfNoOb0012]

A Pimp who drives a toyota corolla lmfaoo

[92796Apollo]

Guys in their 50's named Skip. :D

[Zantetsudex]

"Couples whose childrens' names start with the same initials." Tell that to my dear parents. :D

[76aeternus]

A boy-scout master who owns a dildo shop!

[MrMowse420]

A cross-eyed nun with a bull-whip and a bottle of jin!

[Janitor989]

@MrMowse420 .................GIN..........­

[MrMowse420]

@Janitor989 GIN!

[hurley56476]

@MrMowse420 gin

[MrMowse420]

@hurley56476 GIN!..

[MrMowse420]

@MrMowse420 .....GIN..

[mrbuster1964]

@MrMowse420 PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SPELL GIN!!!!!

[thebIGnmIZTEEone]

@MrMowse420 people who can't spell "gin" correctly

[thotink]

@MrMowse420 thats gin

[sookoll23]

The funeral director was best imo.

That, and the boy scout master xD

[NoLongerFooled]

"What Am I Doing in New Jersey?" Circa 1988.