Re: A homosexual experience

[Telekon5]

If being gay is a choice, then when do straight people wake up and decide oh, today's the day I'm going to decide to be straight? It just doesn't happen that way. Sexual orientation unfolds slowly over time, it's not something you hold a committee meeting over.

[DAVIDAMORSE1701]

Hellz1stslayer: Being gay is not a choice. Nobody chooses who turns them on. You are born attracted to whomever you are. Nobody makes a choice. I was married and I could never have sex with a man. The thought just makes me turned off. I don't mean I hate gays, I respect all people, but I couldn't make love to a man. To say its a choice is just dumb. I never made a choice to love a woman. Girls just always excited me.

[Hellz1stslayer]

At the end u say "this is who i want to be" Yes is is who u WANT to be not who you ARE. I belive homosexuality is a choice. If it is from how u were raised or bad experiences u had it is a choice. No man is born with a sexual atraction to a nother man same with a woman. they are born like any other person and make that choies later on in their life. I know many people disagree with me but i have listend to your side and tryed to reply in the most respectfull way i coul plz do the same for me.

[phunkybrats]

You've misunderstood what I said. It's what I am and who I want to be. If this were a choice like me ask this: Why would anyone choose to be hated?

[nuclearspike]

You are making declarative statements... "no man is born with a sexual attraction to another man" what research are you referencing? With what authority are you speaking? How do you know this?

[KapitanoUK]

"I belive homosexuality is a choice."

What do you actually know about the subject? Have you spoken to lots of gay people about it? Have you read any books about it? Have you even googled to find out if there's evidence one way or the other?

It's very simple. If you don't know enough to have an opinion, don't have one. There's no shame in saying "I don't know".

Plus there's the small matter of why anyone should CARE whether homosexuality is a choice or not, but that's for another time.

[DAVIDAMORSE1701]

As a matter of law its important to know its not a choice. If it were merely a choice than gay marriage is not a civil right. Gays in the military could remain as is. The fact is that its not a choice. I would ask, when did you choose to be straight? That's not a trick question. If you believe gays choose to be, its a reasonable question. Love is not just a matter of the plumbing as one man said to me. Attraction to a person is more complex.

[lizzatk]

I am a lesbian. I have bipolar disorder. I have had the same lack-of choice in both aspects of my life - they have played out, more-or-less, in the exact same way. I am not ashamed of being either, but they both can make my life very difficult.

[lizzatk]

Have you ever watched Stephen Fry's 'The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive'? He proposed, to his bipolar interviewees, a button that they could press, which would remove the condition permanently.

I wouldn't press it, neither for my homosexuality nor my bipolar disorder. Why? Because to do so would make me less than myself. In THAT I have a choice - the choice of a non-existant button that would change my thoughts, my feelings - the very essence of myself (my soul, if you will).

[robbieLUVZdianne]

okay if homosexuality was a choice, why would gay people choose to be in a minority and choose to be someone that get verbally and sometimes physically abused and attacked by homophobic people?

[Yewon2000]

I gotta tell you honestly I'm surprised that she didn't suspect that you were gay. I mean since you are relatively effeminate, no offense of course. But it's like a clay Aiken situation here.

I love the line 'we come out to exhale'

[KelliSings]

this is the beauty of the internet; in my opinion its purpose.

imagine what a better community we can all share when almost everyone has this kind of connection to...everyone.

thanks for sharing your story

[itbarthur4u]

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[Azonia01]

PS. Hugs with love from another loner that is far away, on another side of the earth.

[Azonia01]

This is the 1st time I've left a comment (though this account's created not long ago). I feel related to ur "bedroom confession", for I'm another struggler. My anthropological studies have told me that the world's more than complicated than we can possibly comprehend. Especially in a context where acknowledgement of diverse and fluid sexual orientations isn't the norm, the place where we can secure ourselves the most is ourselves (or if u're religious, the relationship between u and God).

[JeffMOTU]

It was good that you came out instead of trying to make things work. I was in a similar situation as you, except I didn't know I was gay at the time. Thanks for sharing this with us!

[phunkybrats]

it's interesting...we're told we need to know who we are and what we want and when we find out and get what we want life still isn't clear but filled with more confusion.

[inulovedog]

this video almost brought me to tears, the whle story about coming out. I had a friend who I told I was bisexual [I later relized I was gay and just using bisexuality as a safety net] and she told everyone and I didnt find out she told everyone till months later. I am very open about my sexuality and still I question myself, do I want this....and I think I do but I still I guess have to find myself in order to be sure.