World War Four - The Vampire War (Book)

[2445kellergamer]

just realised that i m the first one to comment this in months ... if its already published i`d love it if you could pm me the release title or something alike

[2445kellergamer]

Gotta say that i tried to read the beginning of your story trying to figure out what you could do better in order to give you some constructive critic but kind of lost that thought while reading. Guess that`s a good thing though =) Hope you re getting published soon cause i hate reading on the pc and i absolutely fall for every post apocalyptic setting

[Lammalord]

@2445kellergamer

ha ha thanks, sadly i got this retarded idea to go for 18 units in college (6 classes, 5 english classes) this WOULD be done if i had say 4 classes, and maybe a little free time... but I haven't touched it for months... sad huh?

[starrynight3800]

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmm­mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeerrooooooooonnn­nnnnnnnn . . . Hurry up and finish the story, I wanna read it D=< Oh and . . guess who .-. . . .

[Lammalord]

@starrynight3800 uh, haven't we played this "Guess who" game before? if i remembered, I lost.... lol...

uh i did finish the story. I just need to edit it... that takes time yeah know...

[KazeTala]

I suggest changing the name. Vampire War gives off the wrong Idea. People will think it has Vampires to do with it (even if it is just similarities,). and I read you're First chapter. You're writing skills are good but theres always room for improvement. So good luck.

[Lammalord]

@KazeTala

wow i haven't been on youtube for a while... lol 4 weeks ago... the name will be changed to Darth, maybe add something after that, i know the name was to attract the addicts who love vampires (half of Fiction Press, the other half hates them) it worked quite nicely while the story was up..

as for improvement, i should post the teaser of the 2nd draft (1st 3 chapters) which look A LOT better... the chapters i have up were like the bones.....

[sethboy66]

if its published im definitly reading it

[ToxicEnzyme]

Your story sucks balls, you should stop writing it now, and instead take the time to read good literature, maybe it will teach you something about story-telling.

[Lammalord]

oh? what was the worst part?

of course you didn't actually read it right?

[jorel658]

tsk tsk tsk.... try writing a good one

[Lammalord]

hehehe if only you could have read it..

[jorel658]

I dont think I would bother repeating the same mistake... and repeating over again... within your Imagination is only what you believe is real

[Lammalord]

okay, now you have gotten me confused... did you even bother to read the thing or did you look at my terrible job trying to explain it and jump to conclusions about my writing?

Sorry to say, only the first 3 chapters remain online - and a few of the last ones. It's been for the most part removed. I already have a publishing company willing to help publish it - and a professional editor (not out of school yet) willing to help edit it - for free. It's got to have some quality to get that.

[jorel658]

1st... what clan are you..

2nd... what were your books to decode the truth...

3rd... did you solve the 8 elements!!!

thats the reason why you got a 3...

[Lammalord]

wtf are you talking about? that's it I'm consulting my contacts.... I'm really confused now. this isn't some kind of game, I just love to write, and "World War Four - The Vampire War" is the standing title i choose for my writings before i edit a second draft.

The current story has well over 330 pages and just under 100,000 words, along with 12,000 hits on the story on FP and over 150 reviews.

[Shmuffy36]

dude i want to read it. get it published.

[Lammalord]

just got off a 12 day tour of Israel... now its a perfect time to try and get some serious writing done.. will try to finish and work on that soon :D

[shadow31213]

this sounds like shit. really really shit.

[Lammalord]

yah, I'll change the name before publishing - I agree does sound like shit :) just never came across a decent name - yet.

[Lammalord]

I think it's spell lisp, and really? Ah, mostly likely due to using the cheep microphone installed in the computer.

Though I'm not gay - I still got to ask, if your using that term in an insulting way - what is wrong with someone being gay? It's not your problem or emotions right? Why should you even care?

[lordpraiser69]

Damn dude i might check it out later

[Lammalord]

wow, that's pretty impressive for something to plow though about 300 pages worth of writing, personally if i thought something was bad I'd stop after the first 3-4 chapters :s

[bloodyrage]

Loooks good. I think you just named it Vampire because Vampires are in now so u used it to get more views, lol

but it sounds good. kind of original. i like how it wasnt set during the world war but you're main character has to do with the start of it. interesting.... if it's interesting it'll get read. if it's pretty interesting it'll get published. Overall, it has to be interesitng and that's what it is.

[Lammalord]

why, thank you. bloodyrage, you hit it right on the spot - they are 'in' and it attracts views. if ever getting published the name would change. I put in the summary that its not about vampires, but who reads them? :p

[J0rD4n9001]

It looks alright. Can't say I'm too excited about the storyline, but I'll probably still buy it and see what it's like. Better be good. :P

[Lammalord]

god, if i ever finish it :S

I feel It's getting to the end, but then that's the first draft.. I can estimate at least another 20-50,000 more words added in as more 'meat' for a second.. THEN i'd see a publisher...

[Lammalord]

O.o the entire thing!?

[TJkiwiOWEG]

the vampire war....fuck vampires they're fucking retarded and not real

[Lammalord]

who said it was about vampires?

[Bumbellbeeman]

GAY STORIE!!!

[Lammalord]

Gay story. If you're going to post a comment on a video about a book at least attempt to spell your comment correctly.

Thank you!

[Bumbellbeeman]

Rofl yuo men relack mé ant fukcing thies shieeeeeeet. Gay Story*

[Lammalord]

*facepalm*

[Bumbellbeeman]

ggdmtjkrfm gay gatueg igntaygyaygaygyaygaygagyagygay­gygayygaygayagygayagygayagyyag­ygayggyagyagyagyagygayagyyyyyy­yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy3434­5ygyrdtfe

[Lammalord]

*Rofl, you men relax. I am not f**king this shit. Gay Story

even when I translate to human it makes no sense.

[dev21a]

Im not a big reader, sorry.

[Lammalord]

lol got you!

no. you even bother to check the link in the sidebar?

[dev21a]

umm... no.

sorry.

[starrynight3800]

Umm.. yah.. hi.. One question? If it's not about vampires, then why is it called The Vampire war? I'm still confused on the plot and the main character isn't Mary-sue right? I'm gonna read it.. if I have time. Seems pretty interesting. Picture is pretty too. I think you could've done better on the summary, but like you said, it's the first draft right? And... Hi. Guess who?

P.S - Totally unecessary but my friend says you have a handsome voice xD

[Lammalord]

why thank you. vampire - people think the lead character is - think of telling someone from the 14th century a cell phone is magic - its not but they think it is.. same concept.

Vampire is a creature that us 'primitive' humans can understand - so that's what they call her.

Picture - someone drew that for me :p

[leontrotsky32]

Any advice on how a full time student can keep himself motivated to work on a novel? Right now I have over 10,000 words, but it can be hard to find time with all my other commitments.

[Lammalord]

Just write. I'm a full time student (16 units) and part time job. I still manage. A trick is just to shove aside some time, 30 minutes? and write. and if you're not feeling it, move on. I find it best to write before/after work (no internet and no books) that way I'm obligated to at least an hour of work before my computer needs a recharge.. (that being 45min-1h of me doing other things)

[Lammalord]

Sometimes, you just gotta pick priorities. Set a goal - mine being, finish novel before the end of this year, and publish before i end school. 85,000 words is well on its way to completion so far :)

[Bpokorny1]

Hey dude, I like the idea. I'm actually writing something myself that I think has the potential to gain a HUGE cult following. Wanna trade after we're both finished? We could offer constructive criticism

[Lammalord]

I'm a very hard critic, went up to grammar nazi after my first year of college.. check out the story (link in sidebar) its about 80,000 words right now, though the last 2-3 chapters i personally feel are missing something... whats yours about, and how large is it as of now?

[Bpokorny1]

mine so far is about 15000 words but Im writing it using mostly dialogue since Im making it a graphic novel. Its up to about 30 pages without pictures. And as far as the plot, it is very in depth and full of twists and subplots... pretty hard to explain in a short thing like this. But to put it really short and do it no justice, it is a medieval setting with plenty of gory battles... It's funny, sexy and action packed lol. If you give me ur email I'll send a better description

[Lammalord]

mostly dialogue? I'd kill it :p

you can always pm me on FP ;) those can be a long longer than youtube.

[PandaKnight]

In need of beta readers, you say?

[Lammalord]

Why, are you intrested? Truthfully i rather wait until i finish the entire story. but i would love reviews - and ones that are not on grammar, i know there are problems, but its not a huge deal - they can be fixed later, plotline errors or inconsitances - or even what you think about it, now thats what i want.

[safarimarrie]

I would read this book. It's well composed, graphical, and intriguing. Excellent work!

[Lammalord]

why thank you! if you want to keep in touch with it - make an account on the site and subscribe - i do update new chapters every 1-3 days. look for more :)

[CiJeay02]

wb Lamma. Nice to see you.

[Kankuro1216]

Wow i haven't seen you make a video in a while.

[Lammalord]

yah, i know - i been writing a lot and therefore haven't been posting videos.

than and a new laptop meant i had to transfer about 5 programs over to be able to make and upload videos.