National Coming Out Day 2008

[DeeGreenified]

I just have to say that you have one of the cutest smiles I've ever seen you seem like a really great down to earth guy. You deserve someone equally as special. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

[oyabuya]

@DeeGreenified Ahh :) Thanks, no ones ever complimented me on my smile before, personaly I'm not a big fan of it myself. Thanks for all your kind words and hope you are right. I'm glad you enjoyed my story :)

[DeeGreenified]

@oyabuya @oyabuya Seriously, you're adorable. And I know this video was posted over 3 years ago and things have progressed since then. But I have to say I can't imagine what I would feel if I heard my parents say those terrible things about me just because I'm gay. I don't know if I could ever truly get over that. And as I'm watching this I can tell it did hurt even tho you're trying your best to understand it from their perspective. Please know that you're beautiful and worthy just as you are

[maJexmaZe]

@oyabuya NO WAY, no one's ever complimented you on your smile before? These people must be BLIND. You have a smile that melts everyone's HEART O_O

[Almostfamous8484]

DATE ME! :-P And I like the song in the background. What is it?

[oyabuya]

@Almostfamous8484 ha ha ha you're too kind. Which on are speaking of?

[Almostfamous8484]

@oyabuya There's a symphony of strings (violin?) playing; either in the background or a track you laid down with your video. BE MY BOYFRIEND!

[oyabuya]

@Almostfamous8484 the first songs is called Wonderwall, followed by How To Save A Life, and the last one is Hands Down. :) Ha ha ha You dont want me.

[Almostfamous8484]

@oyabuya I only wished you lived closer. Everyone is on opposite coasts. Wish we could talk. Thanks for answering. I had forgotten about this comment.

[oyabuya]

@Almostfamous8484 Well if you ever need to talk just message me on here or hit me up on facebook or whatever else. Just cause we all live far away doesnt mean we cant be friends

[oyabuya]

@Almostfamous8484 ha ha ha Sure! Which one, I believe theres three if i remember correctly.

[reercudi]

You are so nice!

[bordenmartin]

An addition--You seem really sensitive.  I hope you get a super boy friend, and you can love and take care of one another for life. It sounds like you deserve it.

[bordenmartin]

Thank goodness for the computer and especially for You Tube. It has allowed so many of us to feel like we can come out. In a very short time, there will be an "explosion'" of information regarding our lives. It will lead to more acceptance & hopefully more understanding. You're definitely a nice looking guy, and I know you have helped many other GLBT people come out.

[blainebill39]

@oyabuya

Ciao Bello!

Thank you for that my friend! You get it! I'm beyond just being pleased, I'm

elated. At the time of Bobbys' suicide the disposition of the nation was blaze

to say the least. "Oh, another fag has taken his life", that's why all the reactions

to the "Prayers" movie, reflect an awsome shift in thought. People for the first

time are begining to say,"Oh poor sweet Bobby, my son, my grandson, my nephew

my neighbors' child and even my fellow parishoner!".

[oyabuya]

@blainebill39 No way! Your Bobby Griffith's boyfriend! I loved his story, it was very inspiring and moving story. Bobby was a great man, it thanks to him, and the lesson his mother learned that the LGBT community has the support it has. From tragedy comes great hope.

[blainebill39]

@oyabuya Things are happening for LGBT people today, the likes of which Bobby and I could never conceive! We're not quite there yet, but full inclusion is within sight! It thrills me to know that you will be able to lead an authentic life as a gay man, and will even likely be able to marry the person whom you love, if you so choose! Yeah!!!! May G-D Bless You! Blaine

[Heydudewow03]

very couragous coming out :D and you're cute... lovin' the huge cross behind you ;)

[oyabuya]

@Heydudewow03 thanks. :) ha ha ua thats was a gift from my mom. I've had it for a long while now.

[AlexSmash100]

dude your fucking sick! (in a good way, its just slang)

and you are hansom too. got a myspace? :p

[oyabuya]

@AlexSmash100 ha ha ha you caught me off guard with that. Thank you and yes i do.

[CityStreetShoes]

nice vlog=]

[oyabuya]

@CityStreetShoes thank you :)

[oyabuya]

@CityStreetShoes Thank you. :)

[Caglehead268]

did u ever come out to your dad? how did that go?

[oyabuya]

I did actually :). Posted a video about it too. ha ha ha.

[rabbitfish63]

I hope your mom has come to realize that the son she loves is you and your being gay is not some kind of add-on. It is intrinsic.

Want to know my mom's dumb comment? "Couldn't you just marry a woman and take care of your NEEDS on the side?"

[oyabuya]

My moms cool with it now. She's even okay with me having kids. So long as there mine. So i guess I'll be doing seragate. When i'm ready to have 1 that is ha ha ha (that wont b4 awhile)

You might want to tell her what that would do to the girl you did that to. Have her imagine ur dad messing around w/ dudes on the side & how she would feel? Parents become very narrow viewed when it comes to this. All they want is a simple solution, they dont think things through. (hence my moms cancer remark.)

[stoner829]

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I had to laugh because my sister said the same thing to me about cancer. LOL The thing that sucks about being gay in this society is that we are made to feel guilty about something we did not choose. Seriously..can you imagine taking this to the grave?? Some people do..I feel so sorry for them.... Big hugs from Jim in Ohio. And if you have trouble with Dad..let him contact me..I am probably his age!

[oyabuya]

Well lucky were getting to the point were we dont have to feel as ashamed as before. (i mean were not all the way there, but progress has been made.) ha ha i'll be sure to look you up if my dad needs extra persuation. ;) thanks

[scottneumann82]

you're so funny and cute. congradulations!!

[oyabuya]

well you'd be one of the few to consider me funny ha ha. God know i try to be. Even though i'm not always successful ha ha ha.

[scottneumann82]

one of these days ill have to make a video of me coming out for ya. and yes you are funny in a very unique way. lol i smiled the whole time that i watched your video. and your very cute

[Mwoodard85]

5 stars, oh... you are really cute too. ;)

[oyabuya]

Thanks, ha ha For the five stars. The cute part, eeehh, i'm no so sure about ha ha.

[Mwoodard85]

Congrats to you, coming out to your mom and sisters. I hope your dad takes it well.

I recently told my Mom and my two siblings that I am Bi. And my mom took it better than i thought she would. My sister questioned the heck out of me. And brother was like "ok, so..." I have yet to tell my dad. I'm just afraid he wont be pround to call me son. But i admit, it feels so much better when you finally say those two words to your family.

And your mom askin if your a top or bottom. lol.

[oyabuya]

ha ha i know, right? My mom sure knows how to get personal. She isnt shy about much. :)

Am happy to hear you came out and i have to agree, if does feel good to just say it and be able to go on with you day without it burning a hole in the back of your mind.

[muzicdejay]

Cool video dude, I told my mum, niece, few friends in the last 12 months, Still got a few more to tell yet but wanted tell the people i was closest to 1st, they were all really cool bout it which i knew they would be but it was still hard trying to find the words! My Advice: DO It people, You'll feel a lot happier When you do & If not everybody likes it then hey, They maybe aint worth havin around, your true loved ones wont care who u are!

[oyabuya]

I'm with you man. Things are better once you do, just make sure your safe and comfortable when you do. If not, i would advise against it. Coming out isnt worth a persons safety/

[muzicdejay]

Oh yea i agree dude, Safety should come 1st, theres sure still some people out there that have major issues about people who are gay but as long as you feel its safe Then I think ya feel so much better telling even just a few loved ones, It was probably the hardest thing i went through before i came out & now i feel so much more relaxed around myself!

[watertower12]

I am so sorry, and YouTube makes me so mad!!! I clicked 5 star, and it came out 4, and YouTube's policy is you can't change it. So I will get other people I know to rate it a 5, plus I officially rate this video a 10!

I really do think this is a great video, and you are amazing. glad to hear things are better. I blame (society's) lack of education and misinformation for making coming out so difficult. I hope for better days ahead, and people like you getting us there.

[oyabuya]

It's okay, dont even worry about it. :) Thanks all the same. It would be great if i can make a difference, but I'm not sure if i'm making any big impact. But i'm sure we'll get there all the same.

[sterlingskorpion]

I was the same exact way when I came out to my mom, I couldn't really speak no matter how hard I tried. My sister helped me with it too. I'm glad you got the courage to do it though. It is important to be yourself! Awesome song in the beginning too. Hope all is well!

[oyabuya]

I know exactly what you mean, you can say your ready to do it a million times over but once your there, its like your throat just closes off. ha ha ha Thanks, it makes it less boring

[sterlingskorpion]

You do a lot of replying, lol. But yeah, some people seem to have no trouble speaking but I surely wasn't one of them... lol It wasn't boring at all but it made it even more interesting. lol

[oyabuya]

Is replying alot a bad thing? ha ha ha. Well it good to know my voice isnt boring.

[sterlingskorpion]

Not at all, lol. I just said that because not many people do reply so much, it's a good thing! : ) Why would your voice be boring? lol Hope you are doing good. : )

[kramer362]

dude you seem so sad, i wanna give you a hug =(

I hope things are going better now

[oyabuya]

ha ha ha hugs all around :)

Things are better, thank you

[lovemeboth]

I ment to say let u know, not et.

[lovemeboth]

Does your Dad know yet? and just to et u know that National coming out day '08 was on my birthday.I cant believe that i will be 31 this yr considering doctors said that i wasnt suppose to live past the age of 8,I fooed them.

[lovemeboth]

Thanks for the videos i am going through the same thing but never really came out to many ppl yet.You look familiar do i know u?

[oyabuya]

No problem, i hope everyhting is going well for you and if it is, then i hope it continues to be that way. I'm not sure, do we know one another?

[lovemeboth]

if i posted this comment twice i am sorry.I am from Canada and i was in a situation exactly the same situation that u were in Jr high and my situation happened in Jr high,I am sorry if u arent him but u look extremely familiar to me.

[lovemeboth]

If u are from Canada and we know each other,Where in the states are you from?I know its on ur channel,Where is that?

[oyabuya]

nope, never even been. its below idaho

[lovemeboth]

cool,Is it nice there?

[leatherbeast]

I am researching ways to come out to my family, mother and father. Not sure why I am making a big deal about it.

I will probably eliicit a cousin of mine, Mary. I also just saw that coming out day in on my birthday.....

You looked so nervous in the video, I hope everything is okay....

Larry B.

[oyabuya]

i was beyond nervous. everythings good now. alot better then I could have expected.

[jfrojas5]

ahhh. se me olvido algo... estas muy lindo

[oyabuya]

Gracias Jfrojas5, Agradesco tu apoyo y tus palabras. Me iso mucha gracia saber que pudistes conectar con mi historia. Es bueno saver que sirve para algo. :)

[jfrojas5]

Gracias por compartirlo, estoico, intimo, emocional, valiente. La musica es perfecta.

Tenes mi entero apoyo (you have my support) se que es nada, pero enrealidad me conecte con tu historia.

[soccer11211]

I'm in the same boat, but I'm guessing a few years behind. My parents have no idea that I'm gay and hate HATE gay people, always using the term fagot. I'm sure of it; they are always commenting about how weird homosexuality is when they come across it... I just need some advice from someone who had no choice, but to wait until they could pay their own bills to come out. I'm only 16 and I'm so worried. I don't know what to do. ='{

[oyabuya]

I think if your that worried, scared and sure that your parents wont except it, then coming out before you move out might be a good idea. But it theres a hope of a chance they'll expcept you, then its always good to have family support. But only you can have the best judgement there. People can surprise you. What they wont except on other, they might except in there family just cause its family. But dont come out if you dont feel safe or ready, that will only cause more problems for you

[oyabuya]

sorry skipped a few imporant words, "...might not be a good idea...." my types is all effed up. Just do what the guy below me said, thats what i was trying to say.

[victor2cutube]

there is no law that says you have to come out to anyone.. wait till it is a good time for u if u feel the need.. do not come out to your parents if u know they are homophobic.. they might kick u out or do other thing to u that wouldn't be good for u.. if u have a supportive family then coming out might be an option but most people don't have a supportive family..u see that fact in every election

[oyabuya]

Soccor,  listen to Victor. thanks Victor, my comment just got all messed up cause of my bad typing. I meant to say what you pretty much said

[hbfarker]

this brings back memories. when i came out to my parents (decades ago) i wrote a note to my dad and stuck it in his lunch box. he was fine with it when he came home. my mom, not so much. the first thing she said in tears was, "you're going to die from aids". time really does heal all wounds. i've been in a 14 year relationship. we were married in california. my mom couldn't be more supportive. don't ever forget... this is your life to live, not your dad or mom's. time goes by very quickly :o)

[oyabuya]

Ya, moms worry about everything and they read and hear to many things for there own good. I hope to onw day have what you have, sounds great to me.

[bEEarCUB]

That's how I came out to my mom!

I was a bit worried that my dad was going to stop speaking to me or worse, but it ended up going REALLY well (I wrote a letter, and he called right after he read it. Pretty much took it like I was saying that I like some movie or something ... was completely impartial)

I don't know how much of this was pleading from my mom, but I always knew he loved me. What I didn't know is that he had a few very close gay friends from his time in the military. Who knew?

[oyabuya]

My father doesnt mind gay people, but he's not a fan of them either. Once he found out about me, i found out that his biggest fear wasnt having a gay son,but we worried who would take care of me when I'm old and have no children. Thats his fear now. He doesnt quite understand how things can work now a days.

[bEEarCUB]

Well, at least it went better than you implied it could have!!!

But yes, this seems to be most parents worries (they worry about their children's future ... at least good ones do) if there is not just some strong religious block there. Times have changed quite a bit though, and gay people can live pretty much equally and form families (may even be a fully genetic option in the future ... 2 male fathers and a surrogate ...).

[bEEarCUB]

And I am sure they will still come around more. It has not even been a year since my boyfriend (who is the world to me) came out to his parents and it has already gone from

Matt: "I am still the same person"

Mom: "To me your not"

to inviting me to Easter and wanting to go to my graduation (even meeting my parents).

And yea, my mom played the worried mother thing for quite a while. Cried for a week+ when she found some porn in middle school, but was calmed down when I came out 6 years later.

[plankboi]

my mom got hella pissed because she saw my blogs i had been writing about her on a secret myspace page. she found it by me signing on using her computer. she was pissed becuase i assumed too much. after we hashed it out we've been cool, even though she is strongly against it.  she still loves me. its a good feeling when family can just love you in spite of their disappointments in your choices.

[oyabuya]

I actually showed my mom this video and told her I was getting alot of help and support this way from people with more experiance then me and good advice. At first she didnt like the idea, but after a showed her some of the advise I was getting, she really like it and thought it was an okay way to find help.

[DesertSun0]

my mum pulled a "I would prefer if you liked girls" on me and I said "well its not really about what you prefer." and she agreed and we havent had a problem since.

[oyabuya]

Ya, my mom use the how do u know you dont like girls if you havent been with one card on me too. I told her it wasnt my place or hers to choose. It was just the way things are.After that she realized i didnt choose to be gay and accepted it alot more.

[solelymyself]

So when you said that she preferred you to have cancer, that kind of hurt me.I cant even imagine how you felt.Its nice that she kept talking to you about it. When i was outed to my mom, she told me that she was going to kill herself if it was true because she would rather be told she had a week left to live than for me to tell her I'm gay.And we haven't talked about it since.Good luck with everything else. I haven't told my dad either, but id like to wait, then to jump right in to a bad reaction

[oyabuya]

When she said it was was hurt, but i soon learned why she said it and i understood it. I think i would have never brought it up agian either, but my mom loves being part of our lives so she cant ever let things go Actually, I just told my father about a week ago today. The reaction wasnt what I expect, it was neither good nor bad. I'll post another vid soon when i have time and go into deeper detail.

[canadaguy666]

congrats on coming out. although it kind of sucks with your dad, at least he's not a complete shit hole like my family. i guess i wont be going home again :(

but it's good to know i'm not loved unconditionally.

[oyabuya]

Ya, I'm hoping he'll understand. I mean I am his son after all. But all this will all be know soon enough. Did you barely tell yours? Some people just need time. Be it days or years. At least thats what I hope. :)

[borntoride45]

aww, i loved hearing your story! (:

and hope everything goes alright with your dad!

[oyabuya]

Thanks, I'm glad you like it :) I'll let you know how everything goes with another vid after I do.

[borntoride45]

thanks, that'd be great!

[lunchboxboy]

I don't know how gay guys do it. I will never come out. I'm 18 now and will always pretend I'm straight. I'd rather never have a relationship with anyone rather than tell someone I was gay.

[oyabuya]

Thats kinda weird and (i dont mean this in a mean way) kinda sad. Your sacraficing more by not admitting your gay then you would if you just told people. Life is going to be alot harder by doing it your way.

[oxforddictonary]

i used to think that way too--but u'll reach a breaking point, definitely. Sorry to break it to you loll, but it's true.

[oyabuya]

Just so I'm clear. Who's going to reach the breaking point? Me? or Lunchbox who wont ever admit he's gay?

[oxforddictonary]

lunchbox!!

[oyabuya]

Alright, cool. I agree completely then.

[shakthi124]

don't say that some day its gonna come and bite u in the ass and u noe it so the earlier the better :)

[Luciek69]

Thanks a lot. What do you think "makes" people think it is a HARD thing to do or be?

[oyabuya]

I think, for me anyways, that people just expect the worse and over syce themselves out. I think thats happening with me and telling my dad. I'm expecting the worse so it's becoming harder and harder to come out and say it each time. (i hope this is what you meant with the question.)

[catdoodle]

This video make me want to cry. I am coming out also. I just want to tell everyone, but my Mom wants me not to tell my Dad and sister yet. I just want to tell them. My Mom was ok with it, but she has "no gay" days and I just feel awkard around her some times.

[oyabuya]

You'll know when your ready to come out regaurdless what other people might tell you. If you think your ready to tell your sister or your dad then go with it. Holding back is only going to make you want to do it less and less.

[MrFireyIce]

very nice video im kinda in the same situation im 16 and im trying to tell my parents but every time i try its just hard to take the words out of my mouth but thanks alot makes me kinda think about what im gonna do and be careful thanks =)

[oyabuya]

I know how you feel. My mind races with hundreds of things I want to say, but my mouth just wont move. I was just lucky enough to have my sister push the conversation with my mom. I wish you the best of luck. Tell me how it goes.

[dtrez09]

god. i feel your nervousness. i wouldnt be able to make a video like this. good on you. and your cute too. hehe

[oyabuya]

lol thanks :). What are you nerves about?

[manshuman]

thanks for the post. in a wierd twistd way its nice to know sm1 else is scared...thanks

[oyabuya]

No prob. I think you'd have to be crazy not to be. I mean, it's a huge step that changes your life. But like you already figure out, your not alone. As long as we have help, we can make it though. Even people here and the advise they give have helped me alot.

[xlightknightx]

I like your strings version of Wonderwall in the background.

[oyabuya]

:) Thanks, I figured it was alot better then me just talking ha ha ha

[dionok]

Don't be self-critical about the amount of time it took to come out to your mom and sisters. It's your own sexuality and every situation is different. Surprised that you mom hasn't told ur dad.... Re: your mom's cancer comment, remember the generation gap. Homosexuality was categorised as an illness when our parents were growing up, so many people have internalised alot of the misinformation of the time...You're courageous. Good luck

[oyabuya]

Thank you. The only reason my mom hasn't said anything is because she wants me to do it when I'm ready. She's actually very supportive now. I'm thinking after the holidays i'll tell me dad.

[mazon111]

I'm in the same situation. I think my mum will be accepting if I tell her I'm gay. But I'm worried about my dad's reaction, because he's always made comments about gay people and how it disgusts him so I think he's homophobic. I don't know whether I'm ready to come out..

Anyway thanks for the video and you're not alone. I hope everything goes OK for you. xx

[oyabuya]

My dad does the same thing. I wish i could give you more help but I still haven't told him yet. But there's not rush in coming out really, at least not to everyone. Just start with the people you feel comfortable with and work your way around. You dont have to fling the flood gates wide open. I'm taking my time and things are going good so far.

[xander2810]

Lovely music in the background :) is that Wonderwall?

[oyabuya]

I believe so if I remeber correctly :) it wonderwall, how to save and life and I think hands down. Thanks.

[ConstantDistraction]

But it's all instrumental right. Just strings, no? Where did you find it?

Absolutely love your voice, by the way.

[oyabuya]

I downloaded it from Limewire. I'd be more then happy to give you them..... I should still have them...

[ConstantDistraction]

That'd be great. What's the best way to transfer? Email? YIM? Let me know. Thanks.

[oyabuya]

e-mail would work fine. Just send me a message with it and i'll pass them over. As soon as I can. :) Oh and thanks about the comment on my voice. Just dont hear me sing, it might change your mind ha ha ha

[GayComicGeek]

Dude, you're a hero and you don't even know it. I understand being afraid to tell your dad and he'll probably overreact at first. When you're ready to tell him, just be strong and don't let anything that he says change your attitude towards yourself or your life. You're the only one that can make the right path for yourself. Don't be afraid, and do what you feel is right for you.

[oyabuya]

I'm not sure about hero, but thanks for the confidence boost. I'm preparing for the worst, just so that the actual reaction i get out of him might not seem so bad.

[Centenar]

It sounds like it can only get better from here for you. You are a very brave guy to have made this vid and "told your story". I'm sorry your mom and dad felt it necessary to say such things but have faith in yourself and be strong and you will make it through this. Coming out for me was not easy either but my family eventually all came around to respect me and my partner. All the best to you in the future!

[oyabuya]

Well if i end up anything like you did i'll be happy and i'll be ready for the question. I know know the questions are just a way of them trying to understand.

[phil0mind]

I think you have only one life and you should not waste that living in fears trying to be someone your not. You dont want to disappoint loved ones, but hey its who you are and sooner or later they have to get use to it..i think you deserve to be happy

[oyabuya]

I know your right.I should be hiding who I am, i know that not everyone is going to like the way I am, but like you said they'll get use to it if they love me. Thanks what you said really helps. It means alot. :)

[seepmonster]

Hang in there!! My dad hates me and I'm gay, but you must be strong!!

[oyabuya]

Well I hope my dad doesn't hate me, that would make life alot easier

[holdencaulfield79]

Thanks for sharing your story !

I can't belive your mum asked you all the personal stuff :)

And as far as your dad, Im sure he'll be fine with it,once you decide tell him.

You're his son and he'll come around eventually ...

[oyabuya]

I'm gald I shared it too. I almost didn't. Ya my mom just loves knowing things ha ha. I hope your right about my father.