Grover Norquist: 'I Engaged In A Week-Long Drug-Fueled Orgy With Corporate Income Taxes'

[leftman91isdahouse]

Lol, i guess this story will probably be used by Foxnews at some point! xD

[ninjayism]

This is amazing! I never knew he liked the Onion!

[SuperToughnut]

I don't like his pledge or his ideas, but damn this is funny. I have some respect for the man now.

[VolatileChemical]

Holy SHIT that's so funny he did this.

[MrBasilGanglia]

Good for Grover. Nice to see him having a laugh at himself...HAHA!! Good Man!

[ViperRob42]

He's a douchebag but one with a sense of humor so I'm perplexed lol

[MrBasilGanglia]

@ViperRob42 How is he a douchebag?

[437thx1138]

Grover Norquist puff piece. Come on Onion, never thought would do this. Not funny. He a very destructive political hack.

[sunnydale22]

Hilaaaaaaarious!

[ClaytonFox]

This went completely over my head

[cobrompton]

He may have a sense of humor, but he's still a dick.

[MrBasilGanglia]

@cobrompton You know him? I do and think he is a really nice guy.

[cobrompton]

@MrBasilGanglia He may be oober-nice in his personal life, but the way he's holding this country hostage by keeping any kind of compromise on taxes from happening earns him that status in my book. If Mr. Rogers put politics before country he'd be a dick too.

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@cobrompton

We need a compromise on spending and debt reduction. Anyone who's paying attention knows government has access to more money than it needs and wastes a lot of it. Taking more money from people who use it for what they need it and giving it to people who will waste it is not what we need.

[cobrompton]

@Tezcatlepocatl Here we go...

[MrBasilGanglia]

@cobrompton He is not using force of any kind.

[cobrompton]

@MrBasilGanglia No, I guess he's not manhandling anyone.. but what he's doing is still not right.

[MrBasilGanglia]

@cobrompton Please tell me what he is doing that is wrong? I can't understand how a person can call it wrong unless they don't really know what he is doing or how the economy and progressive taxes works.

[cobrompton]

@MrBasilGanglia He's throwing a monkey wrench into any chance of having bi-partisan compromise in congress. If he wants to make the argument against raising taxes he can, but not allowing ANYTHING to get done isn't right.

[HelloAgain151]

@cobrompton He may be a dick, but he's still got a sense of humor....

[I was just thinking it's kind of funny how saying a phrase in reverse, with the criticism at the beginning and the positive thing on the end, makes it sound good, but the way you said it sounds bad.....to me, anyway....]

[cobrompton]

@HelloAgain151 Duly noted.

[Graffmaster2]

I just showed my parents this and they thought it was REAL! haha

[ProNorden]

Way to go Norquist. Actually circulates the concept of an 'Expatriation Tax' fairly widely to those who might otherwise be unfamiliar ... even if it hasn't 'gone viral' ... yet.

[drstrangeluv25]

As much as I disagree with him, it's a pleasure to see he has a sense of humor about himself.

[chaughten]

even estate taxes!

[thisendlessforest]

Today I discovered that my school has the onion newspaper. I was so excited and took it, trying to show my friends why it's parodying normal news XD

[Blargaldalien]

Oh, just put a W-4 over it, no one will get 1099ed

[Ladiestreat]

Stupid. That guy is a twat and should be dragged behind a bus on pavement covered in broken glass.

[almostevil669]

@Ladiestreat its a joke

[tatsujinMasurao]

IT'S ACTUALLY GROVER!!!!

[J0nnyj0]

Onion News has to parody SOPA and PIPA, then I'll know it's for real.

[falchard]

This is definetly alot worse then if he engaged in gay love affairs with elderly dogs.

[Gnometower]

boring.

[gmorfinz]

Republican hypocrites

[C1utch]

Title is wrong. It's Drug-Fueled Orgy...not Drug-Filled Orgy,

[deaddu]

@C1utch

depends where he put the drugs ;p

[DOYLERULES69X]

@C1utch It says fueled.

[C1utch]

@DOYLERULES69X Obviously, that mean they fixed the title then.

[Violent2aShadow]

To be exact, the orgy lasted 999 minutes.

[benplotke]

He looks so much like him. If I didn't know better...

[vts101]

For people who don't know. This is the real Grover Norquist! He is making fun of himself. He is a big fan of the Onion. I thought this was hilarious.

I don't normally do this but thumbs up so people see!

[daddyleon]

@vts101 Noo!!!!

This is awesome ^.^

It IS him xD

[larrywalkerntbi]

@vts101 Holy Crap. I didn't believe you so I looked it up.

[banquojr]

wait.. thats actually him..

[Evilblueberry55]

Hilarious. One of the the best onion episodes in awhile

[iPeedOnChuck]

Notice that the dislikes are all republicans... I disliked this, by the way.

[WhiteyMcKrackerHonke]

As a tax accountant, I turned this off after 20 seconds. I felt like I was back at work,

[biosnark]

2012 and still waiting for Santorum to come out of the closet...

[F1NGER]

@biosnark And about 5 minutes after he does leave the closet, Rick Perry will exit that same closet nonchalantly.

[wmklimon]

@biosnark What, are you a homophobe?

[RickMerchantttt]

@wmklimon lol. What an irrelevant question. Do you know who Santorum is?

[wmklimon]

@RickMerchantttt Well, if someone is waiting for Santorum to "come out of the closet," then Santorum must be a homosexual. And if he's a homosexual, then he must be one of the good guys, right? So anyone who opposes him must be a bad guy and a homophobe, right?

[eirefrance]

Grover Norquist is still an evil, unAmerican, destructive, anti-human; but, fair play, that he did this is pretty funny and shows a good sense of humor.

[METALMAN4Wii]

Meh my post on there youtube channel was funnier...!

[4444randomness]

haha this is great.. :D

[rivmikant]

It's funny if you actually follow the news, specifically around the time that super committee was busy failing.

[MainstreamAlternaTiV]

very impressed the onion got him to do this. well done.

[ASealUponThineHeart]

Everyone complains when they don't roll on the floor laughing. The point of satire is not always to make you laugh.

[TheIr0nMike]

I'm disappointed by the amount of people who don't get this.

[LowStackTom]

this reminds me strongly of the current german president Wulff - affair !

[MercifulMing]

dip in production value?

[philipsidney]

Love the Onion, but this vid falls flat.

[doggod7756]

The title is wrong. "I engaged in a week-long drug-FUELED orgy with corporate income taxes."

[vts101]

Haha I can't believe he actually did this

[ikmagic123]

@vts101 he didnt......

[vts101]

@ikmagic123 ??? In case you don't know, that is the real Grover Norquist....

[ikmagic123]

@vts101 this is a fake new network. i watch them on the comedy channel all the time

[eviltube1111]

@ikmagic123 read his comment again. you misunderstood

[LeGioNoFZioN]

now there is that subtle edge you guys have been missing for a hot minute, the Onion is back, and challenging its audience !! respect

[will9630]

Come on onion review sucks

[Fangs1978]

tries too hard and fails the funny

[nextgenerationlibert]

STATE TAXES HOW SCANDALOUS!

[turnofevents1015]

Was anyone else unable to concentrate on what he was saying because his tie wasn't centered?

[burpo]

Kinda smart, but not really Onion funny.

[Khyrid]

Not really funny.

[MinervaInTheBrain]

@Khyrid do you know who Grover Norquist is?

[griffthedragoon]

What just happened

[cobolt13]

Cool story bro.

[Andrew21yo]

this is not funny, onion you lost your touch.

[DavidMTRutten]

@Andrew21yo , I think it's funny...

[MissLucyBoomer]

lolol nice video!

[Mattmc777777]

@Jackmyster99 Any historian you ask will tell you Jesus was a real person. They may not think he was the son of god, but it's commonly accepted he was real. Except to retards like you who don't know their history.

[Sei1863]

@Mattmc777777 This is a funny video about tax crimes, can we leave Jesus out of it?

[DavidMTRutten]

@Mattmc777777, erm... no, in fact. There is no historical evidence of the existence of Jesus whatsoever accepted by mainstream historians. It seems that the persona of Jesus in the Bible is most probably an amalgamation of other figures (both historic and mythical).

[Szeicheng]

erm... no, in fact. There is plenty of historical evidence of the existence of Jesus accepted by mainstream historians. Though comparatively few believe he possessed any kind of supernatural powers or was the son of God, they do believe he existed.

[DavidMTRutten]

@Szeicheng, hearsay != evidence.

[Szeicheng]

@DavidMTRutten I wasn't trying to provide evidence. Just thought that you ought to read up on the issue before being so sure of yourself.

[Mattmc777777]

@Jackmyster99 Just like 2000 years ago, science showed that gravity didn't exist and the sun revolved around the earth......

[DavidMTRutten]

@Mattmc777777, "science showed"? Science as we know it today didn't start existing until the scientific revolution well after the Middle Ages. You're talking about philosophy.

[Avenrei]

I m not sure.

But if you replaced Taxes with Gays, this look likes a parody of Pastor (ex) Ted Haggard

[neiljoin]

@Avenrei Hmm... replacing taxes with gays. Why has no one thought of this before?

[thorium222]

@Avenrei Or this antigay "American Family Organisation guy" that flew to europe for holidays with a callboy.

[LostManSays]

This isn't funny. Do we like he did this?

[websnarf]

That ... let me check ... lol. That was actually Grover Norquist. The Onion rulzez.

[teuast]

This is fucking terrifying. The Onion makes more sense than the news.

[ProJanitor]

yay all the fuckin experts on how to run a country are out and about on youtube

[NobodysOffTheHook]

@TalesOfGod Rofl

[Razlo5000]

taxes are sluts!

[jasrogg]

This is really clever in 2002.

[TalesOfGod]

There is only one thing wrong with this video...

His tie is NOT on the F***ING MIDDLE! It's ON THE DAMN RIGHT!

Someone, ANYONE, please fix that tie! FOR AMERICA!!

[robotpanda77]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[spInrAt42]

Onion - you do remember you need to be funny don't you?

[MrDorkusMaximus]

@spInrAt42 Yeah, The Onion needs to remember that the vast majority of their watchers were edumacated by the gov't school system, (gov't edumacated) parents, the mass-media, and priests or pastors or whatever. 99.9% of viewers aren't going to "get" this video. But The Onion doesn't care, and that's one of the things I like about The Onion. Reality doesn't care, why should The Onion?

[jasrogg]

@spInrAt42 Im an Atheist but God bless your little comment.Great comment.

[greekperson0305]

This would explain why I can never open the envelopes my taxes come in.

[Jackmyster99]

@CubexDE So in a way you're saying i should stop being like every bible reading Christian haha. Also you sound pretty convinced by the works of Josephus. Why are you blindly accepting his idea that Jesus did exist but was nothing special? Jesus was a popular name back then, so sure, A Jesus would of existed. But not the "turn water into wine" Jesus.

[Pyricshadows]

I normally like all Onion new but this is just boring. I mean it is kind of funny but eh I really did not care much about half way through.

[GsusZealot]

Im pretty sure the title should be Drug-fueled not Drug-filled. Im not tryin to be a troll. But it does make a difference. lol

[CyborgNinja7]

How would you guys describe the accent of the actor in this video?

[Upthemeds]

anyone else see that mormon commerical

[IntuitiveLeap]

@Upthemeds nope. add block works on those.



[raythegardener]

So, is he going to finally take responsibility for those illegitimate excise taxes he fathered in his dalliance with that bimbo estate tax? Or will we see more evasion?

[videogamemaniac83]

Ok time for some videos *Sees star wars the old republic ad* Ok done

[getovergod]

Sattire... our new reality

[WildInTheStreets]

Pics or it didn't happen!

[ocool6]

it has more likes than views weird

[M1ST3RHYDE]

This is Retarded.

[Redjoker96]

Damn the onion has gotten boring. Its not even trying to act funny anymore just throwing out jokes in a boring atmosphere. Its too real for its own good. The only one was much more funny. Like Operation Weazy F. Baby LMAO!!

[staarx]

*Week long drug "fueled" orgy.

[ElChristo]

I thought TheOnion was all about fake news?

[jbear0000]

Big deal, most of us on the Internet have had an orgy with out computers and a box of tissues.

[XxbrianchocolateXx]

Not old.enough to understand this.....im 46

[Jackmyster99]

@nerdyharry You proved my point exactly.

[epayne6]

Monster! Flaunting your wee-wee at those poor innocent taxes.  You should be ASHAMED of yourself!!

[blammers]

Norquist's bankrupting of America sure is something to joke about. What a douchebag.

[kazekai8]

This is awesome! I think this says everything so far

[Lumbajacked]

This dude knows how to get buck!

[millertas]

467 Likes, 67 Dislikes. Hang on that's more than the 303 views. Someone has been fiddling the taxes.

[SagaciousSilence]

I had my shit together until he mentioned capital gains tax. I completely bursted in my pants after hearing that.

[benxr2006]

oh truth

[Sagefrakrobatik]

Genius lol THis is great

[dwyImike]

Hah

[Louisianimal1122]

Scandalous

[freesk8]

OK, the next one should be about some Democratic (or GOP!) politician who has to admit he made money in the stock market, or helped start a new for-profit business. He has to admit that he engaged in free market capitalism, the very thing his socialistic policies tried to curtail. He further confides that his pride (a sin!) required him not to accept govt subsidies or use his personal connections in any way. He used only voluntary means, and his own sweat and intelligence to make the money.

[gamerunknown]

@freesk8

You're joking right? Like Newt Gingriches "free market capitalism" earmarking more state funding than any other Congressman for a business in his distrinct: namely the publicly traded producer of weapons of mass destruction, Lockheed Martin? Or how about Goldman Sachs providing Obama's campaign donations in return for the bailout is socialism? The US = only industrial country without public healthcare? No senators believing in global warming? 93% of campaign wins "bought"?

[freesk8]

@gamerunknown Newt does not advocate the free market. He advocates crony capitalism. There is an important difference. Govt funded health care yields lower quality, higher costs and less innovation, meaning worse outcomes for the poor and more deaths over time. Human CO2 production has much less effect on climate change than does natural sources. Current legislation on CO2 will wind up killing more poor people that will rising sea levels. Power corrupts.

[gamerunknown]

@freesk8

Actually, there's no factual basis for your claims. Waiting times in the UK and the US in emergency rooms are negligibly different: 222 minutes for the US, 240 for the UK. The UK taxpayer pays half per capita and is 16 places higher in terms of average life expectancy. The Cuban taxpayer pays 1/14th per capita and is tied in terms of life expectancy). Shindell (2006) found humans responsible, as do 97% of scientists that study the topic.

[OnlyKoolaid]

@freesk8 U mad?

[WaKeZnDrAnKz]

SOOOOO.. this is real right!!!

[corsikaa]

And this shows up on Fox in 3.. 2.. 1..

[StewieSwan]

This is gold

[mflynn2009]

How did they do this vid? If Grover did it missionary position was that gay? Maybe it would be considered tax exsempt

[Tboi2206]

He's a real person. lol

[jasrogg]

Seth Meyers is the bad choice of a head writer for Saturday night suck.

[jasrogg]

Do any of you hipsters even know who this fevered ego is?He is Abramoffs cohort who was never held accountable.They stole 100s of millions from Indian casinos.He a Neo con who works for Billionaires to get your parents savings and your future.Grover fucking hates you.Not everyone is good to joke about.But im starting to hate the Onion and its ivy league writers.I miss the Wisconsin days.Im unsubbing with regret.But you guys are just to out of touch now.You make Seth Meyers look talented!!!

[smg7320]

@jasrogg who better to joke about than the slimy douchebag who's ruining the country with simplistic generalizations?

[dangerouslytalented]

@jasrogg He wants to literally destroy the govenrment. Shrink it so that he can drown it in the bathtub, and he wants to do it by cutting taxes, spending more and then crashing the economy, all for the sake of corporate profits.

Then blaming it on the welfare system and regulations.

[freesk8]

@dangerouslytalented I'm in favor of all that. You see, welfare hurts the poor. Raising taxes destroys jobs for the poor and middle class. Govt can not create as many jobs with a marginal dollar than can the private sector. So increasing taxes means a net fewer jobs. And socialism, in case you haven't learned yet, sucks, especially for the poor.

[dangerouslytalented]

@freesk8 No, not all welfare hurts the poor. BADLY IMPLEMENTED welfare hurts the poor in the long term, but NOTHING hurts the poorest in the long term more than starving to death. Similarly rasiing the RIGHT taxes can spur job growth, for example, taxing certain kinds of corporate profits and executive pay will encourage reinvestment, which creates jobs.

[freesk8]

@dangerouslytalented So far, only MOST welfare programs are badly implemented. Private charities have better results and lower costs. They prevent death better than the govt does. Remember FEMA in New Orleans? They BLOCKED private workers from helping. And if you raise corporate taxes, then the corps hire fewer workers. Raise pay on execs and they will get compensated in other ways. Your ways have been tried, and they failed.

[dangerouslytalented]

@freesk8 Actually, private charities have almost always proven inadequate, especially in times of economic distress, which is why welfare systems started in the first place.

Corporate profits are already maximised. They can't cut the wages any more, they cant raise the prices any more. Corporate productivity (profit vs expenditure and pay) is at record levels. Everything is cut to the bone, so if that profit was taxed more, they could not take it from anywhere BUT their profits.

[TutTutOpenSesame]

@freesk8 Your ways have been tried and failed. Trickle down economics doesn't work.

[UrbyKris]

@TutTutOpenSesame When they have been tried they worked... but they haven't been in a long time.

[xkiroxX]

@UrbyKris they sure as hell didn't work...you know what your talking about bro?

[UrbyKris]

@xkiroxX Right, right... will you just assert that?

[ipwnallnubscuzirock]

@TutTutOpenSesame You have no clue what you're talking about.

[xkiroxX]

@ipwnallnubscuzirock and you know?

[woofalot13]

@TutTutOpenSesame Trickle down is you dogs can eat the crumbs that fall from the table in reality its a total con .

[maxarion]

@woofalot13 too true, money tends to trickle up, not down. The disposable income of the rich is either put in banks or spent on expensive toys, the disposable income of the masses is spent on less expensive toys sold by rich people.

[mites7]

@dangerouslytalented Reinvestment in what? And by whom? I agree with your first two points wholeheartedly, but taxes dont spur any kind of growth and never have.

[delatroy]

@dangerouslytalented taxing corporations creates jobs how?

[shilelea]

@dangerouslytalented lol say more than something vague about how taxing a business creates jobs. taxing executive pay encourages reinvestment? how so and into what? lol you do realize that banking money the bank automatically reinvests it. so in actuality we should encourage saving.

[dangerouslytalented]

@shilelea Simple example. Lets say you have a profitable business, but you don't pay yourself a collossal amount because personal tax rates are too high. What you do is you reinvest, in order to boost your own wealth long term, because you own your own business, so it's yours anyway.

But if your personal tax rates are lower, there is not so much incentive to reinvest. There is far more incentive to take the money OUT of the business and buy that yacht than buy that new fabrication machine.