My Gender Queer/Transgender Transformation

[junfaa]

I wish I was a girl im attracted to girls but ive just never been happy with my gender I remember at the age of 7 telling my parents that I wished I was a girl. I don't think like a male and naturally my face and body structure look like that of a female. I could literally pass as one but its not enough. I don't think I could ever bring myself to dress as one not with so many bigots running around You have a lot of courage more than I could ever hope to have.

[xBigTimeLyrics]

Did you have long hair before? Cuz I have long beautiful hair but i always wanted to cut it short like a guy but im too scared that im gonna regret it, but then again i always want to look more like a guy than a girl.

[ThatsLoveely]

You are so attractive! <3

[zombiesvsrobotsz]

Aw, you're a cutie pie!

[saraschlussler]

I am so amazed and proud of your transformation. I can tell how difficult it was for you to make this video and talk about your situation. Thank you so much for having the courage to post this, and thank you for caring about your viewers :)

[Electriishox]

Will you marry me?

[lawlztisme]

You keep saying that you're just you, before anything else, and that gender stereotypes don't matter. But you went through the process of cutting your hair, buying a new wardrobe, and presenting yourself as male in order to be considered one gender. That doesn't make any sense.

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme yeah it does shes not following the crowd of females who chose to dress like females

[lawlztisme]

@junfaa Being genderqueer, is about not adhering to the specific physical sex one was born with. It has nothing to do with "not following the crowd". My point was that the poster of this video stated that gender stereotypes don't matter, yet he stereotyped himself by 'turning into a guy'. :|

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme thats what i meant he doesn't identify as a female so he doesn't want to be categorized as a female

[lawlztisme]

@junfaa rofl, so now you change from calling him a 'she' once I point out to you that you were wrong? You -totally- know what you're talking about. Don't try and correct people when you know nothing about what you're trying to correct them on.

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme you never convinced me i was wrong i called him a she first because my mind is stuck on the fact that he was a girl so my mind automatically goes to girl I wasnt originally intending for this to be an argument if you arent mature enough to see that then you should go argue with someone else

[lawlztisme]

@junfaa Get your foot out of your ass. This has nothing to do with immaturity. It's -you- not knowing what the fuck you're talking about, and trying to correct someone on a comment that wasn't intended for you in the first place.

Another thing: I'm a transguy, so let me tell you something. Saying shit like "he was a girl" is totally ignorant. He's always been a guy. He was just born with the wrong parts. And please, don't tell me you 'knew that already'. You should check your initial reply.

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme how is that immature dont try to turn it around on me. You're the one who blows a simple comment out of proportion. Excuse me for leaving a comment that you appear to take so literally. I never said he was a biological male but i chose to call him a he out of respect for his identity. If I pull my foot out of my ass the next place it's going is yours. Go learn how to talk to people. You thinking that all trans people think the same way as you is ignorant.

[lawlztisme]

@junfaa You're a moron. Really. This is the internet, I'm not talking to a person; I'm talking to some asshole that feels the need to get into business that's not their own. You replied to my comment so I'm gonna say whatever I want. You put yourself up for it.

By the way, I thought I'd let you know that you're making no sense. Are you even READING what you send? Go back and read this entire conversation and you'll see how much you suck at being consistent. It's so fucking funny.

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme i didn't set myself up for anything after all not everyone on the internet is an antisocial fuck stick like you make yourself out to be and i could say the same to you ive read all of my comments the problem is that you can't get off of the "he was a girl" thing wtf is your point in this argument? It's actually you that doesnt make sense and after all "this is the internet" werent you setting yourself up by leaving a comment on this video in the first place? dumbass. think about it

[junfaa]

@lawlztisme i didn't set myself up for anything after all not everyone on the internet is an antisocial fuck stick like you make yourself out to be and i could say the same to you ive read all of my comments the problem is that you can't get off of the "he was a girl" thing wtf is your point in this argument? It's actually you that doesnt make sense and after all "this is the internet" werent you setting yourself up by leaving a comment on this video in the first place? dumbass. think about it

[ArchangelAroz]

I know that but sadly my mom isn't one of the people who love me for who I am and it makes me feel depressed any help?

[Gary805]

Mmmmmmm Wow,  You are such a total fucking Insperation, I admire you so much

[rogerwilco2]

Thanks for sharing.

[kjyogini]

You are so brave! Thank you for making this video.

[xiahnsaya1004]

I am so happy for you, you found what you want. I am gender neutral too ^.^

[TheAlexanderOscar]

I'm in awe of how brave you are. Hope things are ok in your world right now. Thank-you for talking about how difficult making changes can be. These things are not straight forward. Alexander :)

[desvanesceme]

YOU CAN'T BE MOOOOOORE BEAUTIFUL, my god!! I fell in love with you REALLY

[CafeBikeGirl]

This is a nice look for you!

[reiAYANAMI1992]

so...since you want to be a boy...you should work on how not to pose or move like a girl especially when you are talking...because than people are going to mistaken you like if you were a gay guy.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@reiAYANAMI1992 The whole thing you should be taking away from this is that gender stereotypes should be thrown in the garbage, and that we need to focus on being ourselves rather than being who or what society expects us to be. Before I am a guy, a trans kid, or a bisexual, I am ME. Period.

[reiAYANAMI1992]

@raiinbowjunkiie you know what? you are soo right...sorry if i made you mad...i wasn´t actually trying to make you mad or offended you...sorry if i did. :(

but...you are very very cute!

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@reiAYANAMI1992 Aw, it's okay. No worries. And haha thanks!

[reiAYANAMI1992]

@raiinbowjunkiie you seem an awesome person...if i ever get to meet you in real life...would you be my friend?? (please don´t think i´m a stalker cause i´m not) jiji...i´m just a girl who is totally honest with everybody.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@reiAYANAMI1992 Haha sure. Remember, there's no such things as strangers. Only friends you haven't met yet. :)

[reiAYANAMI1992]

@raiinbowjunkiie thanks babe! take care!!

[TheAmberie]

I don't understand. Transgender people are unhappy looking in the mirror before transformation, not after. It looks like you forced yourself into changing. Wh did you want to be transgender?

[AliciaTrecourt]

It means a little more than a shopping trip to old navy dude. Try reading some books

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@AliciaTrecourt Yeah. No kidding. I don't need books...I've been living this way for months and there is no book that could ever prepare you for being transgender.

[AliciaTrecourt]

@raiinbowjunkiie The books arent to prepare you, they are to give you some perspective and insight beyond wearing a unisex jacket. Cant we agree that it deserves a bit more than a shopping trip?

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@AliciaTrecourt No offense, but I'm beyond reading a book or two. I went to the largest and most important LGBT conference in the world a few months ago in Minneapolis. I have explored the trans community in Philadelphia as well as Manhattan. I've joined all kinds of groups and have done just about everything I could to immerse myself in this world and the associated experiences. It deserves more than a shopping trip. I've traveled all across the country. And it still isn't enough. =(

[QueerlyK]

@raiinbowjunkiie Heya. I totally agree with what you had to say to AliciaTrecourt, and I just wanted to chime in and say that if you WERE looking for a good book, I highly recommend My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein. It really helped me out.

[KitKatruler1994]

@AliciaTrecourt I think you're missing the point. A lot of the visiable gender identity does have to do with clothes. And while a shopping trip is necessary to get the clothes. The real journey, the real struggle, is after you put those gender defiant clothes on and travel into the world. It seems silly, but those clothes make a huge difference in how you feel personally, how people see you, and how they will treat you. You're focusing too much on the begginning of the journey.

[AliciaTrecourt]

@KitKatruler1994 I'm focusing on this one video. It is very obvious that its about the beginning of the journey. There's no need to lecture me on these things as I'm well versed in the trials and tribulations of the gender queer. Too often I observe a materialistic approach to gender redefinition and a lack of any other sense of growth or perspective. It takes credit away from the gender fluid community to portray this journey as something so insignificant as a wardrobe revamp.

[MamaFrankieJ]

hey dude. fucking kudos to you for living your truth. it must take a lot of strength and courage to show your friends and family who you are inside. i really admire you.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@itsarthurmarshall A transformation doesn't have to include hormone treatment or surgery. It's different for everyone. I started out by cutting my hair, changing my wardrobe, strapping down my chest, and going by a different name/pronoun.

[paperbackhead22]

you're sooooo cute

[TheDellanator]

how old are you??

[Jshepherd904]

Sorry to say it, but i dont think you'll ever look like a dude..maybe a tad bit after a long/heavy cycle of test..good luck.

[jennasaurr11]

Awee, cutiepiee :3 lol

[Devildoctortube]

this so cute...HAHA

[chellez0]

you are such a beautiful person!

[meluvsmakeup]

please please just be you

the you in your skin you feel like being...boy,girl,whatever..it doesnt really matter to anyone worth a damn.I wish you didnt feel like you had to jusify yourself.mean people suck.Stay strong!!!

[nichya11]

You are soooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3 i myself am a transsexual girl ^_^

[mastetchiefy]

lmao i'm so confused... i'm straight,,, fuck me though i don't even know. okay yeah i am. you seem like an interesting person. that's all i have to say.

[Astraeos13]

I am all for personal exploration and freedom. There is something to be said for being what you are. Not trying to become something you aren't. Don't offend the Goddess body you were born into by denying the gift of Nature. Androgyny is fine, but excessive literalisation is misguided - imo. Peace and freedom to all.

[hxcass124]

you make such an adorable boy and i don't find guys attractive but you are just soo cute :)

and you were a beautiful girl and still are<3

i was looking thru your old videos and stuff and wow you have such a past and you've grown and you're really intellgent i have so much respect for you i admire you so much

stay beautiful and keep me posted on how you are today?

-Cassie<3 :)

[aeiouy123]

Oh, I'm also trans myself, except having been born male, so if you want someone to talk to about trans/transitioning issues, feel free to message me anytime. I have a few genderqueer and trans guy friends, so hopefully I can draw upon what I've learned from them to answer any questions you may have specifically about the FTM transition.

[aeiouy123]

Dawww Jordan~ You're going to make a really cute boy! And yes, ANDROGYNY IS TOTALLY FUCKING HOT. Whether or not you're even considering testosterone, don't let people pressure you either way, and make the decision based on what you feel is best for you in the long run. I know genderqueer friends who stay genderqueer and don't go on testosterone, yet still identify mostly as male. Where ever life takes you, good luck on your journey :3

[dekio]

why is the sound quality of these last couple of videos so much worse than your older videos? its a really interesting topic to listen to even though i cant personally relate to it, so its kinda annoying that i sometimes have to focus really hard to make out your words

[loshyfeelsweird]

omg ur not a female anymore? 

[iMaDeMoN2012]

I must admit you are cute as a guy too. I don't understand why you are doing this. There is no one definition of maleness or femaleness. YOU don't have to become a male to be you. I'm not very masculine in every way but that does make me less of a guy. Just because you don't see yourself a the ideal female does mean you have to become male. I hope you are not doing this for the wrong reasons.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@iMaDeMoN2012 I'm not doing it for the wrong reasons. My conception of myself is removed from cultural perceptions of male and female. This has to do with very biology. Becuase yes, there ARE proven biological differences between men and women. This is something basic, an innate sense that I am identical to my male friends in every way. It's the strong sense of identification that I experience when I analyze a man's body, watch him move, hear him speak. It's a feeling, not a definition.

[arsonica]

@raiinbowjunkiie

teach it, brotha.

[DiabloPlayer4life]

@raiinbowjunkiie

Good on you. It's a very hard thing to understand. I, myself, don't really follow it... but a lot of people feel or has felt like you so I mean.. it's normal, but as one who has never experienced it will always be difficult to understand. But you still speak very much like a girl. The way you describe your feelings (things guys would never do.. at least not in front of a webcam), keep a blog, etc. How does it help you? What do you get out of it? just curious..oh well up to you

[Velvetspoonful]

@raiinbowjunkiie I honestly don't understand what you guys are fretting on about.I'm male,right now my hair,about shoulder length and of the curvy type rolling into locks is tied up with a stick,as most males would say,kinda like a Geisha.I regularly grow a beard,and am quite slender.Hips,shoulders and limbs as well as head,I generally look feminin,though I'm sure even cutting my hair would make me look gayer...Alway prefered conversing with girls,though avoiding the makeup section.

[brazenbishop]

You really are an inspiration. Don't worry that you have completely blown my mind! You are a gorgeous human being! Thank you for sparking my soul.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@brazenbishop You guys are the greatest. :D

[KaylzSamz]

Yay :DD .

[DrunkenLullaby52]

Whats up Jersey!

[dannyandnickinc]

you're extremely cute and inspiring.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@dannyandnickinc :D Aw, thank you!

[jessahlovesjonas]

wait so you want to be a guy???????????? cuz u r really pretty no matter what you do!!!!!

[KaylzSamz]

Holy shit .. you make a hot boy ;3

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@KaylzSamz I like this comment! =D

[ljuze]

much respect for you.

[rockleefangirl189]

That's so cool~

Now I want to do this. XDDD I'm going to get a haircut. OwO

[GrumpySchobe]

I saw your previous vidios and their good, but why would you want to do this in the first place?

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@GrumpySchobe Um...because I'm gender queer. I don't feel like a girl, even though I am biologically female. There's not much more I can expand on...

[Countach640]

You do look hot :) I love Androgyny! My girlfriend is pretty accepting of my bigenderism, although she says that I freak her out when I go a little too far lol. Anyway I'm very happy for you and I sure would love to try this one day to whenever I move out of my parent's house. I am pleased to say that you have inspired me :D

[totalH20]

Congratulations on going through this hard process, I am so pleased for you and I hope you continue being a bright and smiley person, no matter how you look! Keep us updated, as strange as I sound, I like to know that you are doing well xx

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@totalH20 Thank you so much for the support, and I will definitely keep everyone updated. =D

[lobomuerto11]

I realize what you're doing and understand the cause.....but you still look like a beautiful girl just b/c of your facial structure...you can change your hair and clothes and everything but you're still gonna look like a girl imo. Even the most feminine looking younger boys don't look as feminine as you while you're trying to look like a guy. Did you do the "transform" so that you'd feel like a guy moreso than look like one?

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@lobomuerto11 I understand that I have a feminine face and body- that's one of the reasons why this is so difficult. My friends have told me that I pull of the androgynous look pretty well, which makes me happy. At this point, I'm more focused about being comfortable with myself than with "passing" as a guy, even though ideally, it's what I would like.

[nataliewheeleryo]

What you're doing is so inspirational and awesome By the way I think the new look is hot!

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@nataliewheeleryo Oh baby, thank you! =)

[Nicaboli7]

I'm sorry you were hit so roughly when you first started, but I'm glad to see you are happy enough to make a video. I'm glad that your campus is so accepting, but what do your parents think if they even know? I'm the same age as you, but my campus is a little too conservative for me to feel comfortable doing something like that.

[raiinbowjunkiie]

@Nicaboli7 Hey, thanks! =) As for my parents, they weren't thrilled at first, but they aren't staunchly opposed either. It's a bit awkward, but I'm not afraid of being home or anything like that. They're pretty liberal, so it's chill. Are you having similar issues? Feel free to message me!