Raptor Jesus

[hopguy56]

Learn the teachings of raptor jesus he forgave us our trolling, and he protects us from the evil jaws of satanasuaras-rex, he went extinct for our sins, pray for forgivness and await the velocirapture, for only those with the freshest and most succulent livers may be saved...

[pokeybadger]

*Crawling towards you*

"LET ME CURE YOUR LEPROSY GRAAAGH"

[avraham1]

@pokeybadger Epic win

[ppbto90]

and so it began..

[benniebijtmuis]

0:23 lolol i laughed hard

[son0of0the0beast]

Raptor Jesus > triceratops Buddha

[ndrthrdr1]

I am an atheist. Thumbs up if you are, too.

[ItankKili]

@ndrthrdr1 lol no thumbs up

[cptping1234567]

this is blasphemy

[RandomCommenter707]

@cptping1234567 This is not blasphemy!! For Raptor Jesus went extinct for you sins!! Repent and await the Velocirapture!!

[VeyrokxTheDisturbed]

@cptping1234567 blasphemy?.... THIS.. IS.. RAPTOR JESUS!!! (Falcon kick)

[shas255]

omg i dont even try this game but HOW mANY POSIBILITY WXIST ON THA GAME?!!?

[lordoftheLOL01]

AAAAAAAAAAAALWAYYS LOOK ON THE BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT SIIIIDE OF LIFE

[BluelightSpike]

LET THE VELOCIRAPTURE BEGIN

[PrivateIrishmayne]

my god, its really him

[XesLanaRm]

This > Jesus

[M4rsu]

Haha, that's good. Make the next one a child-abusing Mohammed, please.

[FreshSqueezedLoyalty]

@M4rsu

So you mean a regular Mohammed? Or did you mean specifically without the adultery and murder either?

[Kingofeurope]

If you argue about religion, you go to hell, lol

[SomeNightElf]

Our God's a Jurassic God.

He reigns from 4chan above.

With wisdom, power and lulz.

Our God's a Jurassic God.

[BLHLF]

this is my xbox gamertag. so i saw this and was all oh em gee!

[skeleboy6]

online fights are like the special olympics..even though you win you still look retarted.... GO DINO JESUS! XD

[ShadowAssassin887]

raptor jesus went extinct for your sins!

[P3PSll]

@ShadowAssassin887 your isnt funny

[ShadowAssassin887]

@P3PSll Your grammar isn't funny either.

[SuperHaloStarwarsFan]

It's offensive yet funny... why am i laughing... XD

[Zwergie222]

Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins.

[bloodsuckern]

@Zwergie222 original you

[ArmoredDax]

TURKEY JESUS IS BETTER!

[AnthonyAT33]

Only those with the freshest, most succulent livers will be saved...

[Gregd8888]

This is awesomely sacrilegious

[MrStinkyPoots]

haha

[mylilgymsock1]

LMAO

[realisticHomeboy]

@Evotrooper1 If you do believe in some religion, you are sure going to hell according to that religion, because of the way you are behaving here. But that's typical for religious nuts, that they are not intelligent enough to see how ridiculous their beliefs are.

[realisticHomeboy]

@Evotrooper1 You are not making much sense. But that's not to be expected either from a religious nut, who by the way cannot even manage to follow your own religion properly.

[rexplosi0n]

If jesus is a raptor... does that make god a t-rex?

[BlackSodas]

i think i killd one of these... things

[hnrksl]

Hail the lizard god1 Raptor jesus! for heth hath creatith the drumstick....th...!

[Kveets]

axaxaxaxa funny shit

[chickenbiscito]

Raptor Jesus be PRAISED! For he who walketh into the valley of the park of jurassic shall inherit jeff goldbloom PRAISE RAPTOR JESUS! for we are bountiful in his sharp pointy holy teeth, grinding our sins to pieces and turning them into excrement to fertilise the earth and bring new life!

[LaVraieDeVraieElena5]

STOP WITH YOUR JESUS!! NOT THERE! THEREFORE THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF SHUT say that !!!!!! IT'S STUPID!! THIS CREATURE IS VERY WELL!

[LaVraieDeVraieElena5]

STOP WITH YOUR JESUS!! NOT THERE! THEREFORE THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF SHUT say that !!!!!! IT'S STUPID!! THIS CREATURE IS VERY WELL!

[amaurythewarrior]

ALL HAIL RAPTOR JESUS

[raptordave]

this reminds me of the ending in

life of brian

[ilhadosmacacos]

Gay

[EPICFAIL2145]

SWEET BABY RAPTOR JESUS! 0:36

[DarkPrice2010]

Thou shalt not judge

[wiseye61]

@TehCookieMobsta

May his prehistoric-ness be with you.

[wiseye61]

@TehCookieMobsta

You're an insult to raptor jesus's sight, begone you filthy pagan

[LLDJ1997]

that looks really cool and its clever but dude, disrespectful. im not a catholic fanatic btw

[SnakexDrofl]

lol looks good xD

[sllldllld]

has the world lost it's sense of humor? even if you're religious I'm sure your god won't mind you thinking something that contradicts your own beliefs is funny. It doesn't debase your belief only you can do that. It just happens to be funny so laugh while you can because no matter you think we all die in the end.

[LaVraieDeVraieElena5]

@sllldllld arrested with your Jesus

[musiclover1456]

raptor jesus will smite you.

[supersparrow3]

also, jesus said to quietly pray for nonbelievers, not troll them on the internet.

What you're doing is exactly what the Catholic church would have done to you Protestants a few hundred years ago, sans the horrible and excruciating torture. You are a hypocrite, and you're not a Christian. Sorry. Read the Bible, please. =)

[Kieran84ire]

@supersparrow3 I read the lolcats bible once. Is that the same?

[CavllNorthNorth]

Very similar, not as funny.

[supersparrow3]

johnny... you're the one making fun of our religion on the internet.

saying we have no lives

don't throw stones if you have a glass house.

let him who be without sin cast the first stone.

[supersparrow3]

i think raptor jesus could kick jesus' ass any day.

[supersparrow3]

johnny the other day when i was lighting up a doobie with jesus he told me he actually doesn't like you that much and he's not inviting you to the party in heaven =(

Sorry man i know it hurts.

[fulkinghell]

ok all of you angry christians listen up. you should be happy to see this. according to your religion jesus being on the cross and dieing for your sins was the greatest act of love he gave you. thus you should be embracing this rather then hating it. if your going to have fucked up ideals, at least use them properly.

[johnnykest]

lol nice joke devil

[zaoseternal]

We'd rather burn in make-believe-hell, than share a fake heaven with real christian zombies lol.

[johnnykest]

poor soul

[IGVL1]

@johnnykest chill out puddingtits

[johnnykest]

your probably fucking atheist you fucker i can not believe you would put this on youtube if it was not for him you would be either in hell or dead. well you are probably going to hell anyway for this vid

[Rammsteinforthewin]

@johnnykest i lold

[johnnykest]

oh and what the fuck is lold

[diamondsr43va]

laughed out loud silly goose

[Jinggley]

Umm, yeah. If it weren't for Raptor Jesus going extinct for our sins, we'd all be damned. Thank God he sent Raptor Jesus!

[JedininjaZC]

God bless dancing Raptor Jesus!

[johnnykest]

wow you worship a dinosaur thats pathetic

[fulkinghell]

wow you worship an invisible man thats pathetic

[johnnykest]

no he is not invisible dude my little brother was haunted by one of the evil spirtes and if you had a brain you would know that you are a idiot beacuase have you ever seen a possed person guess not lol just shut up

[JedininjaZC]

If he had a brain then he wouldn't be an idiot, and therefore could not relize he was an idiot. Also I've seen Raptor Jesus in all his glory. You have your beliefs and we have ours.

[johnnykest]

lol you worship dinosaurs that died just pathetic

[JedininjaZC]

@johnnykest

Your English is pathetic. No punctuation, no capitalization, and most of all you said "dinosaurs". The problem with that is: 1. There is only one Dinosaur like creature I worship.

2. The being I worship is not a dinosaur. He is an Anamorphous Raptor who posses the power of my lord.

Your intelligence is so minuet. I no longer wish to speak with you.

[johnnykest]

you know its the internet dumass

[MrStinkyPoots]

@JedininjaZC  dude... u spelt minute wrong

[ComradeMagnum]

@JedininjaZC minuet is a musical piece. But I know you were trying to spell minute, just saying. At any rate, all hail raptor Jesus and the flying spaghetti monster!

[bigballz1825]

@JedininjaZC fag

[omgdan23]

@JedininjaZC *minute

[feos9]

@johnnykest lol and you worship a guy who died crucifyed lol just pathetic

[johnnykest]

oh shut up and hump a dinosaur

[feos9]

@johnnykest sure just let me stop humpin your mother and then i will hump a dinosaur

[johnnykest]

lol you just revered the comment on you you just said you like momas

[feos9]

@johnnykest i dont like moms in general just yours

[johnnykest]

wow you must have no lfe

[feos9]

@johnnykest no actually i have a wonderful life and im grateful youre the one making a conflict out of this stupid video

[johnnykest]

yo have no life dude i feel for you dude

[Alchemistx99]

@fulkinghell you made my day.

[JedininjaZC]

Why are you being such a dick dude? You have your religion and the raptor jesus worshipers have theirs. You don't see them being a dick in your church.

[johnnykest]

wil you just shut lets see a dinosaur save you from a gun

[supersparrow3]

let's see jesus save you from a gun.

[bigballz1825]

@supersparrow3 AMEN

[feos9]

@johnnykest yeah just let religion wash your brain cos thats what it is all about brainwashing

[johnnykest]

ok now you gone to far i should flag this shit for being religous you bitch

[JedininjaZC]

How dare you insult Raptor Jesus! And how dare you flag an opinion! How about I flag everything about your religion?

[johnnykest]

raptor jesus lol you worship a dinosaur thats just pathetic if you have a life dont respond to this

[JedininjaZC]

Dinosaurs ruled the earth for a much longer period of time than man, which means they must have been doing somthing right. Also raptors have carnivorous teeth and hook claw. While people have thumbs and brain power; although raptors did too. So God+Raptor+Opposables=Raptor Jesus.

So from my point of view your person is much lamer.

[VIPER2871]

dude wtfh you are a ass dont dis god he made this world you live on

[neolucha347]

@VIPER2871 no he didn't

[trextrex65]

Jesus not for joke to mix him with silly dino

[cms587]

I feel his scaly love creeping into me! Praise him! Praise him!

[LN1992]

OMG!

[Corey897]

LOL BUTTHURT CHRISTIANZ

[GotMan911]

HAHAHA that its great!!

[zifee923]

lolnah. Jesus win.

[Tyrkul]

HAIL RAPTOR JESUS!!

[euklid216]

LOL Jesus.

[monkey5711]

O RLY?

[bluelionryan]

YES RLY.

[Loverofjesus11233]

0_o

[radical354]

RAPTOR JESUS!!!!

[xUberxHaxx]

he went extinct for your sins

[2prize]

more like raptor satan

[smursncody]

This is win, kind sir.

[Busegry]

you will all die in hell because you lought at the name of Jesus

[Shamanmanwow]

LOL

[Pontus900]

you will burn in the everlasting acid pool because you reject raptorjesus.

[Busegry]

who says that?

[Pontus900]

I do?

Just as you said I will burn in hell for laughing at jesus

Now bow own before raptorjesus or pay.

[Busegry]

well it's a sin too lough at Jesus but it's not a sin to lough at raptorjesus

why?

because thats what is writed in the bible

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

The bible is rubbish, the raptorbible is the truth embrace it.

[Busegry]

there is no raptorbible

and w00t are you a raptor?

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

yes there is and no, only raptorjesus is raptor

[Busegry]

lol show me one

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

I havent seen one but i know it exists, raptorjesus told me

[Busegry]

i don't relive you

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

and i dont believe you about jesus.

[Pontus900]

@Busegry as you will burn the acid pools.

[Busegry]

says how?

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

I just did?

[Busegry]

and you are....

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

me? and who are you to tell me Im burning in hell?

[Busegry]

someone that has read the Bible

[Pontus900]

@Busegry

and that is a reliable source now is it? ;)

[Busegry]

as long as i know........ya some how

[Pontus900]

@Busegry okeydokey, and so is my raptorjesus

[Busegry]

w00t?????

[realisticHomeboy]

So if I have read some fairytale, then it must be true?

What you don't even realize, is that according to YOUR beliefs, YOU are going to hell, for talking the way you do.

You want to believe in a retard religion, but you think you can just choose the pieces of it that fits you, and forget the rest.

Hypocrite!

Religion is for the stupid.

[KitKatarine]

@realisticHomeboy I think you should really keep those comments to yourself...

[realisticHomeboy]

@KitKatarine Go ahead and think that.

[KitKatarine]

@realisticHomeboy You know what? I will. And when you die, I hope that your soul rots in whatever hell-hole you believe in. You would think that you would show SOME form of maturity with respect to ANYTHING, religious beliefs included, but no, you have to go ahead and try to insult the billion or so people. Grow up already.

[realisticHomeboy]

@KitKatarine Religion is in itself the opposite of maturity. I don't respect any religion and since religious people tend to go around bothering others with their idiotic beliefs, trying to convert them, trying to convince them they are going to hell despite doing absolutely nothing wrong, I have no problem telling them the truth. They need to wake up.

Most of them don't even follow their own beliefs properly anyway, and would according to their own belief, be going to hell.

[KitKatarine]

@realisticHomeboy alright alright I GUESS i can see your point. I'm just a TAD offended. I'm a catholic myself, and I dont go around trying to convert people, I dont go around sprinkling people with holy water and condemning them. I was.. angry? i suppose, at your comment. I mean, not all religious people are like that. just the hardcore die-hards.

[realisticHomeboy]

@KitKatarine I know. I don't hate religious people. In reality, I don't mean it as bad as it comes out when I write it here. Just being provocative.

[L2pMetalfan]

You you threatening us with hell is futile because most of us dont belive in the particular mythology you believe in. Your warnings about hell fail to work when no one belive in it. You might as well say that King Kong is going to eat me.

[KitKatarine]

@L2pMetalfan King King is going to eat you.

[tarheelskk]

@realisticHomeboy how about you go fuck yourself and let people belive whatever they want to belive asshole.

[realisticHomeboy]

@tarheelskk That's not going to happen. Religion is what ruins the world. Face it.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy It's his choice what to believe prick

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH That doesn't make it any less retarded and since it is what ruins the world, it's not just his choice.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy It is his choice. And how is it retarded, for believing in something you don't believe in? And what makes you think if you beleve in a certain religon your going to hell. Jesus diede for our sins so we have a chance NOT to go to hell. Whether you go to Heaven or Hell is not based on your actions. It's based on whether you repent your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your holy savior. And for everyone else reading this reply This is from my religion.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH It's clearly retarded. There is not one single reason to believe in it. There is not one single thing indicating it being real. It's not me that believe anyone is going to hell. I don't believe in the existence of hell. It's according to the religious people's own beliefs that they will be going to hell, since they are clearly not following their religion properly. So as always they are contradicting themselves. Look at yourself talking about heaven and hell as if it's facts.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH What kind of retarded religion is it by the way, when you can do anything you want, you can kill, molest, and do everything that is wrong according to your religion, as long as you just repent it afterwards.

It's retarded. Drop the fairytale and live in reality instead. It's not possible to believe in such a religion without having to deny reality.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy People make mistakes. We are only human. And it may sounds weird but what I say is the truth. Let me ask you a question, why do you think it's a fairy tale. And also you never said WHY it's reatarded, you seem to be calling this reatarded without any reason

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH I have told you why it's retarded. There exist not one single reason to believe in it. In fact it's full of contradictions and in order to believe in it, you have to deny things of reality. Your belief cannot fit with reality, but you blindly chose to ignore anything that doesn't fit with your religion. Clearly, it's retarded.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH What makes you think that exactly your religion is the right one? People of all other religions have the exact same feelings about their religion, and the ONLY thing you have to support your belief of a religion, is your feelings.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy When did I say my religion is the right one. I never at once said that. I believe what I beileve. And what you say about the contradictions is stupid. You beileve in it if you want to. And why is there no reason to beileve in it, what makes you beileve in reality itself

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH If your religion is not the right one, then you are going to hell, since you are not following the correct rules for not going to hell. Don't ask why there is no reason to believe in it. The question makes no sense. The question is, what reason are there? You won't be able to come up with anything besides that you feel it's right.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy Each religion is based around the same person.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH And? What's important are the rules, and since you are not following the rules of the other religions, then you might very well go to hell according to your own belief.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy were both gonna stop here. you have your belief and everyone else has theres. yours may not be the same but we can all beileve what we want to.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH Again just repeating the same stuff, defending a nonsense belief with no hold in reality, that does nothing but hold the world back.

[AWES0MEKLUTCH]

@realisticHomeboy it may be stupid to you but people do beileve in what they beileve. I'm done talking to you.

[realisticHomeboy]

@AWES0MEKLUTCH Again ridiculous excuses. You might as well say people kill if they want to kill. Religion make people ignorant.

@realisticHomeboy Religion doesn't make people ignorant, it's their parents. True story. They raise their kid to believe the religion, and force it into their heads. Later on down the road... It's how they're programmed. I was apparently raised christian or something, I forget, it was an