Emotional Vampires: How to Deal With Toxic People

[crocodylus73]

This could have helped some at work a few years back when I found myself working closely with one of the hardcore emotional vampires. It was my first experience with one and was completely stressed and exhausted everyday and didn't know what to do. Started out trying to help, then began shaving off more and more time from this person, but the nature of the job limited that. I consider myself a kind, gentle person but ideation of violent homicide began to creep into my mind. Finally had to quit.

[dennymambo]

Interesting...infinite perspectives on this. Not unlike the seemingly endless facets of light striking a prism. I know quite a few people who try and help everyone, and usually end up overwhelmed themselves. Probably what scared the survivors of the Titanic off going back. Being swamped. However, being the only one high and dry in your very own 'life boat' can be a pretty lonely existence.

[michellebrady2009]

the women talk show host is annoying!

[cincyblows]

Step 1: get in their face.

Step 2: yell at them to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Repeat steps as necessary.

[ajhrockerboy6]

@cincyblows that's not gonna work. i've told my sister to shut up before and she just yells the same thing back. THE ANSWER IS TO KILL THESE PEOPLE. i've though about killing my sister because she just drains me of my energy.

[TheExploit91]

@ajhrockerboy6 If you rly wanna defeat an energy stealing vampire without killing them lol... Just ignore them. Dont bother telling her to shut up or dont stoop down to her level and get mad. Act like what ever she says about you or to you doesnt bother you anymore and just act happy. I no i had a huge energy stealing vampire in my life and i started doing this and it would help alot.

[ajhrockerboy6]

@TheExploit91 were you living with this energy stealing vampire?

[TheExploit91]

@ajhrockerboy6 Nope but i might as well have been i saw her almost every day. Actually another thing you can do is whenever your sister says somthing mean to you just tell her to fuck off and then when she says another swear or diss or w/e back to you just ignore and act happy and get the final word in.

[dignerds]

woman are the worst.



[fjaoaoaoao]

seems judgmental

[spiritprofessor]

I do tell my significant other as calm as I can, that what you are doing is causing abit of turmoil in our relationship but then I get, "Oh, you are saying it's my fault?!" There is no getting around solving problems in our relationship. I ask her if she's got 'soul'utions or ideas we can solve our problems with? She has never been able to answer any of these questions. I really do my best not to see her negativity or absorb it but I'm reminded of it when I notice it, which is alot.

[0112358134711]

Wow, I have done this to other people and they have done it to me. This is enlightening! I often find people come to me for their problems and unable to cope I go to somebody else and repeat cycle! But true, I find that just honestly telling people I cannot handle their problems is making me better able to realize that mine are more manageable.

[LendMeYourHand]

Conclusion: People wouldnt be recieving negative energy if they were more content with themselves, they must have a guilty conscience or they are completely self absorbed. These energies are recieved only if you allow them in. EV's are Hyper sensitive & commonly take on the bigger jobs. They are fooled into thinking this position gives them importance, though it was their employers that chose this path for them. EV's dont like when others try to control their destiny. EV rebel society to change

[LendMeYourHand]

Because Emotional Vampires work way harder than all the other free riders. An emotional vampire is surrounded by under achievers that are inconsiderate & leave the burden on EVs' shoulders. Where there is a complaint, there is a request. Work harder & be considerate to the EV work load that far exceeds your petty lounging. EV's are stressed physically as well, as all others stand around, nor do they obtain the skills to complete EV related tasks. The issue is equality & Non EV's are selfish.

[SovereignBeing]

yeah they are called reptilians. they are everywhere.. stay away from them.. they will bleed you dry.. and you can never win, walk away..

[neobudda1]

the girl is so mean.

[URNemesis108]

Learn the serenity prayer and repeat as necessary.

[Gaara1555]

when some body falls, why not help them out? if not you can walk away, but if you feel that bad, about what they say? how do you think they deal with it 24.7, these 3 are idiots, who have no sense of compassion and probably are to blessed to give a fuck,

[ClassiJazz]

Is it me or is the female host behaving like a toxic person?

[TMac473]

Yeah sure tv hosts it's men that are emotional vampires. SURE THING.

[muffinkissesxxx]

my boyfriend and friends are toxic too... theres no getting away from it

[3232James]

@muffinkissesxxx nice...way to think positive...maybe pay attention to this video..you might get something out of it.

[muffinkissesxxx]

omg im toxic! i'm always complaining about my boss to my coworkers, and about my best friend to my other friends! crap.

[AngeI4jo]

@redIipstickgurI Why do so many people hate me? Why do I close all my channels? Why am I such a failure? Why does Brenda and Jane get all the hot men, while I get nothing but sloppy seconds?

[TheBeatlesFan420]

I had some so called "friends" who were leeches until I called them on their crap and kicked them to the curb. It felt great.

[lizzchoate]

I was in a dark place once and I was complaining to my friend, once again and she said "Stop, you're giving me a stomach ache." I kind of took a step back and was horrified that I was being 'one of THOSE people'....it really opened my eyes.

[CaptainTae]

This is the worst kind of pop culture psych bs.

SHAMEFUL.

[reemalharir]

well, i know some one so close is so toxic and i've told her in her face you are allways repeating what happen in the past, get over it live now.what happened is she shouted at me, she told me no one understand me and still i'm suffering from her crying and complaining about her bad luck. i feel i'll kill her one day she is in my room with me when ever i'm home she is there. what can i do.?!!

[RBNightlinger]

@reemalharir Stop looking in the mirror.

[jwstyles007]

gorgeous brunette she should think about acting seriously shes hotter then 90% of women on the planet

[happyorangeanimation]

Dealing with people IRL is so complicated... Why even bother? I don't really get it

[BeAwareofMarianne]

indeed!

[strikecn3]

Wotever you want to call out Emotional Vampire etc...are impossible to get rid of u get rid of one and more creep out fae their coffins...they lash out they are aggresive violent and can cause u nothing but grief...but its impossible to completely elliminate them...its like dawn of the dead or sum rage virus but real

[BestaTonlistin]

I'm torn between thinking she is for real or if this is like onion news, because some of her way of speaking sounds right but ... I dont know. I think this is a very prejudice inducing video.

[unholyimage]

So much for believing a morning news show on psychological advice. People can use this justification to block out anything and cast a whistle blower as a victim-syndrome type. If there is a negative mentality at work, the people need help, not scorn. Sadly too little compassion exists in this world and people merely seek to "deal with" (read selfishly void) these people.

[tkathryyn]

Pick up a DSM-IV book and learn the details about toxic people. Often times, it is mental disorder that makes people toxic. Sad but true.

[gercacn]

A classic example of the media spreading harmful misinformation. "Emotionmal vampires" are psychologically-wounded people who survived major early-childhood trauma. They merit compassion and resectful confrontation, not name-calling and scorn. See the "gercacn": channel videos from a veteran trauma-recovery therapist

[lightbrownpoop]

blaming other people and circumstance's are what under-achievers are all about.

[godscuttingyoudown]

TV show hosts are the biggest vampires

[Salamphoenix]

i would call these ppl. psychopaths, I mean, vampires, but ppl. who complain too much could just b a regular pain in the a.... :) but I wouldnt call them vampires....

[Salamphoenix]

i would call these ppl. psychopaths

[erthemama]

0:33 Yay... victim blaming... :/

[z3061328]

I agree in regards to people who can't identify the issue when you've tried to tell them. In the end, I had to tell a friend if she wanted to speak about me and wanted to know how I was doing to give a call but otherwise I could not stay in touch if the conversation involved 98% of her issues (especially the same old bs).

[usmcoth]

He is in the media ... he can't say women are more likely to be the abuser.  AChildsRights org

[LALABAI1]

It's strange to me that the advisors never seem to think of telling people to try to cheer other people up. Tell them a funny story....change the subject because they probably are mired down in their problem and need someone to pull them up. It's like they've never heard of "fair weather friends." Help them regain their sense of humor. Being cheerful can be contagious too. The last thing a depressed person needs is scathing criticism.

[myrna2381]

@LALABAI1 I agree with you. What happened to caring for other people? I think it depends on the person complaining, but they may have a life that is as difficult as they say.  Where is the genuine empathy we should show each other.

[piloooogen]

@LALABAI1 Have you EVER met a true vampire?!!

[TOPNOTCHMIKE1]

type in(topnotch do you)and press search,this is just what i needed to hear!!!

[99645md]

I live with one of those and telling them constantly, does not work. So I wear and eat garlic. That works great.

[bluebird9008]

excuse me, if I can. I understand why you dont want to get SUCKED in with someone that is ill or toxic. But just walk in a borderline or bi-polar patient shoes for 1 yr. You will be volunteering to help these people and not just say woe-is-me when you run into one of these people!

[Liam2621]

i think tis wrong to tell people its just gonna cause hurt or arguments, beleive me i tried it when a therapist taught me the techniques but it doesnt work in real life, best thing to do is try to mix with positive people as much as possible.

[KMurderful]

what am i watching....

Caught up....Victims...We all need to shut the fuck up.

[NivieneWoolley]

I agree, it is bs advise. you can't change another person... you need to develop your own self control so that they cannot get a reaction out of you... avoiding the person is a great idea, even if it is your mother, find a way to stay away... that is often the only way... parents don't want to hear that they are draining you with their negativity.

[pikaluv43]

just got rid of one dennis jackson glad i kicked it out he is very abusive as well he has a vile liying mouth

[pikaluv43]

just got rid of one dennis jackson glad i kicked it out

[pikaluv43]

just got rid of one

[charmainelee7]

Unfortunately, we each would need to take our own power within and find it in ourselves to speak up. We cannot control the other person. And a lot of times when we do get the courage one may come from the anger or frustration so it isn't communicated correctly. This is definitely an art to master that is comfortable for you.

[bigGaza1]

And she is an Aussie? She must be from some upper class place like Waitara.

[bigGaza1]

Typical middle class American B.S.

[brundle20]

nonsence advice

[rememberfluffyclouds]

this is a real illness caused by incosiderate douchebags who want attention called i.c.b.i.d.w.w.a

[LaFaye1111]

Great advice, thank you. :)

[Metatronicus]

That australian dragging way of speaking alone makes me go to sleep.

[vlindervvv]

the guest of this show is breaking her own rules. see when the reporters are telling her something, she nods her head and shows alot of empathy. she is showing the signs of inviting negativity or other people's emotions into herself

[77hardway]

That stupid BRUNETTE newscaster is the WORST. Just as this woman was getting to a point that I really wanted to hear, she talks over the woman speaking with some more BS. Dumb whore.

[abby495]

Unplug & leave LOL its great!

[txroye]

Haha it sounds more like that guys ex girl friend was cheating on him. I bet she went on holiday with someone special.

[anthonyfeltrin]

the brunette newsanchor is an emotional vampire, listen to her imput at 1:50. You can tell the shift away from her in the conversation.

[youfilha]

What is the big deal to listen to someone that is going through a problem. This is so selfish advice that we dont have the "time" to listen to someone's pain. Believe today is your friend tomorrow can be you.

[vlindervvv]

@youfilha --- there are people who have real problems for a short time and need to vent. then there are people who are attached to their problems and even if they dont have any, they create them. they just dont change, they're mostly negative, like to gossip alot. if you show them that you're not giving in and they dont feel like they're receiving anything from you, they just find another victim to vent on. it shows they were not truly friends with you in the first place.

[fetishisticrose]

I tried to tell my mom this ...that she was being negative, she blames ME ....she does not see it....and she's been this way forever...there must be a payoff...or she'd change...she's been suicidal , too....but refuses to help herself ...bringing this up did not help...sorry...she's exhausting to be around. i'm sad.

[zestydude87]

@fetishisticrose My mom is trying to do the same thing to me. When she does i try to pummel her with pure logic and see if she responds to it positively. If she doesnt respond to basic logic and keeps making excuses then i know she is not ready to listen and consider what i have to say. When this happens i diffuse the situation by just walking away and not let her sap me of anymore emotional strength.

[fetishisticrose]

@zestydude87 I feel like women of my mom's generation are all about putting up a front...of making things appear perfect to everybody & trying to be perfect. I think my ma was focused on doing that. But me & my brother were our own persons & did bot become what she wanted (personality wise) I really feel that we were something she is ashamed of...& quite possibly does not LIKE..shes loves us , but does not like us as persons...we're still 15yr olds in her eyes. Argh! She talks down to us.

[vlindervvv]

@zestydude87 ----and generally these type of people dont even notice you've walked off or turned away. they're so much into themselves.

[knowledgeisthepower1]

The sociopaths of the world!

[sonoffalconqueen]

All the two women on this show are doing is complaining - about complainers... AND THEY ARE SO GOOD IN it!!!

I really ask mayself who is the "emotional vampire" here?"

They (the people on this show) are stuck with "complainers" because they project an overly unrealistic positive picture of themselves and percieve other people as less... that is a magnet for the complainers... who sometimes really try to drain them and drink their energy... ha ha

[coolchicnfriends]

my mother is a complainer. she is always complaining and being negative about something and she attacks me for it. she will do something and complain. she helps other people and complains. i have confronted her about it and she says because i made her feel that way? and she goes into attack and defense mode. i often feel drained and I feel tired and listless. i avoid her and i don't talk to her and she attacks me again.

[serenecelene]

@coolchicnfriends same here. :/ if i stop talking to her, she tells me she is going to kill herself...I hate her etc.

[fetishisticrose]

@coolchicnfriends I feel your pain....I avoid my ma , too

[MindsetElevation]

Here are the facts. He who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw rocks! Don't be quick to call others toxic. Yes, they do have issues however, you do too. For starters, you're complaining about toxic people.

[FarmGiraffe]

The world is full of toxic people. I'd say 99 percent of people are downright evil. Mostly they just pretend to be good.

[blanchemarie1]

Knowning that I have my own voice, opinions, boundaries. The only person I can control is me! I can control what happens to me. I can set timits on the exposure to people who behave poorly. I can't change them or make them behave right. But I can take a stand agaisnt things that destory. I can separate myself from people who act poorly or destructive ways. That is not an unloving thing to do. I don't have to be around them.

[SaturnPhase]

I completely understand. My mother has a reason for her EVERY FLAW and always finds a way to justify her behavior when she's being unreasonable or just downright insensitive. Sometimes the "proper and kind" approach doesn't change anything. But then, it's your mother so you can't be as honest as you want to be without being accused of being disresepctful. Therein lies the problem.

[6672rock]

Toxic people are around me 24/7, and it's all I can do to cut these people out of my life, or at least keep my exposure to them at an absolute minimum. They drain my energy and diminish my attempt to keep a positive outlook on life. They're basically cancerous leeches who live to use and abuse me, while somehow disguising that as "friendship" or "love" or whatever. I wish they would all disappear like a fart in the wind.

[dewman92]

I would say dont try and make the people who are emotional vampires "SEE" what they are doing or how they are behaving. Everyone believes they are right in their own mind. When u get to where you are trying to change their mindset you arent gonna do it then it winds up draining your emotions. I would say the best advice is dont resist what they are saying let go on how it makes you feel at the same time realizing their behavior even when it something that may be true. Just let them vent.

[cozyfoxstudio]

woman are the biggest emotional vampires. Who are you kidding.



[lovemyselfforever86]

i am slowly removing myself from toxic people soon.. i'll never have to deal with that ever again..i can't wait until i truly can be removed from people who want to manipulate me and use me

[feraloner]

The best way to deal with toxic people is to confront them and then avoid them

[FiberMania]

Dear Lady News Reporters:

Somehow, deep within the creature called a news producer is the everpresent insistence to get the gratuitous "leg shot" into the story. This is a near complete distraction for the healthy male viewer from the topic at hand. While the view is most incredibly appealing, as in this case especially it undermines your credibility as a journalist.

[guzsaj]

@FiberMania where is exactly that provoking leg shot here?

[FiberMania]

@guzsaj I did not say "provoking" leg shot..... I said "gratuitous".... I am referring to the drop dead gorgeous brunette on the far left of the picture. Healthy heterosexual male viewers cannot possibly miss it. While self control when it comes to processing the image is always a variable depending upon the individual, it is a completely unnecessary distraction. For about the last 10 years or so, news media executives have been removing the newsdesks to facilitate this "leg gawking"

[SlaughteredInside]

So what do you do when these people are the vast majority of everyone you come across? mainly due to the area u live in?

[eljay345]

To others my sister looks like a very caring sister and daughter but that is a complete facade.

[eljay345]

My adult sister is a toxic vampire. She never will admit to having a problem.It is always someone's else's fault. First my other sister and now me.She is very verbally abusive and extremely manipulative and jealous of the attention I need due to my physical disability. She has a very negative personality and is a constant moaner. If I confront her about her moods etc she will switch it around to being my fault.If I do not initiate a conversation with her she will ignore me totally or be nasty.

[LeadRat]

this is bullshit advice. i try to explain to my mother how her behavior affects others. she immediately goes into justification mode. there is always a reason within her mind. I cannot escape with explaining to the person. does not work.

[mettabee]

@LeadRat Toxic people don't care/can't see how they affect other people because they're so completely self obsessed. All you can do is distance yourself from it.

[RuMaAaR]

@LeadRat When manipulators/narcissist start justifying their actions and behavior in terms of how they treat others, they're always making themselves out to be the victim and somehow they were pushed into their actions and other people are responsible for behavior, when i see someone doing this i let them know exactly how pathetic and useless they really are, you can't level with these people, you can't empathize with them, they don't operate like normal people, and they look down upon

[korictixor]

@RuMaAaR "i let them know exactly how pathetic and useless they really are" there's nothing wrong with legitimate criticism and sometimes it's constructive to express your anger with someone's behaviour, ideally though you have to make sure they understand why you are angry and understand your moral beliefs, if you just insult them you may justify their belief that everyone is out to get them

[RuMaAaR]

@korictixor Agreed, but the facts still remains that these kinds of people just do not understand emotional responses in a positive light, rarely do you find a narcissist with enough introspection to understand the effect their actions have on the people around them, you could explain to them all day why you're angry but they're still going to be the same self-absorbed/centered manipulative person they were before the explanation, i personally just find it pointless, they are what they are

[RuMaAaR]

@LeadRat emotional responses, so i just break them down mentally, and make them feel worthless, and when dealing with narcissist/manipulators it's exceedingly easy to do anyway because that's how they feel on the inside about themselves to begin with, they don't like themselves so they build a false image, you can't get to these people with rhyme and reason, so i get to them through their own insecurities, self hatred and short-comings hitting where it hurts the most, if you want real results

[RuMaAaR]

@LeadRat you can't try to reason with them, you have to hit them mentally, so they know not to fuck with you, if they think they have power over people, you show them real quick just how powerless they really are

[DelphineduToit]

@LeadRat  Giving advice to your mother - well, no wonder it doesn't work. Mothers have a hard time taking advice from their children, especially if they adopt a 'you should' approach. All you can do is recognise what your response is to her behaviour and to CHANGE YOUR RESPONSE. She'll learn (eventually or quickly) that she's not getting the response she likes feeding on.

[korictixor]

@LeadRat The important thing is that she's heard these ideas, even if she initially rejects them they are there in her brain and maybe when she's calmed down a bit she might accept them. You should try to make your arguments as concise and logical and free from any emotion as possible.

[b4rn1k4]

@LeadRat you just can't speak with an emotional vampire. you can't convince them they're doing bad to others. words are useless. they have their minds separated from everything you speak, and you can't escape them. especially if it's your mother. mine's like that too. the best thing to do is to simply ignore them, keeping in mind that it's some kind of 'sickness'. try to avoid interraction. if you keep saying silly things, that pisses them off, they'll go away quickly:)

[JungleBorys]

@LeadRat same mine.. she bring that im like my dad who left us..

[JungleBorys]

@LeadRat same mine.. she brings that im like my dad who left us..

[pdidyking]

@LeadRat You can't tell people to change, they need to do it for themselves because they want to

[renzokata]

@LeadRat i was thinking the same thing or they say, dont tell me that weird shit. if a person means well, it will work, if they dont-they'll make excuses for it. everyone makes an excuses. charles manson has an excuse too, so did stalin.

[strawberriesncandii]

@LeadRat Exactly. My mother is like that too.

[burrochapadogrl]

@LeadRat my mom is the same way, so i decided to help myself by only talking to her once a month for only for one hour. I've found myself getting better at it w/ each convo. unfortunately nothing will help her except herself and thats ok<- just except your own responsibility which is yourself in your own life :) goodluck!

[pikaluv43]

@burrochapadogrl got rid of one myself 

[burrochapadogrl]

@pikaluv43 SEE isnt that awesome! lol I congratulate you :D

[camaxtle]

@LeadRat rant against her,my parents are the same in that case,i use buddhist techniques but at the end the anger within you will give you the right respect.

[sooperfukker]

@LeadRat

I fought the same fight with my mother who always had "reasons for doing so", but they only deceive themselves, not others. It's really wrong in THEIR heads, not in yours.

What I did was to "not play the game anymore" in a very strict way. When she called and started doing her thing, I just hang up without further ado. When I visited her and she started it, I just left without a single word, leaving her confused. Afterwards I explained it to her calmly. It took a while but worked out.

[Shewolfen]

you can'tjust tell people like that nicely it doesnt work I've tryed. with a few different people. Confront them and they react very badly and it only makes things much worse! Because now you become one of their enemies and they will retaliate. Its better just to ignore them and say nothing to them ever. don't acknowled them with any emotion and they won't get the reation they are looking for.

[diamondcalves]

Wow I needed this info to help me from a drama queen trouble fire starter. She is not a victim she gets a high from creating trouble or lying to get peoples empathy for attention. Nasty habit, real low lying 2 face sociopath. Cycle of habitual false hood. Shame on those who don't catch the lies or fuel the fire instead of picking towards truth as opposed to the witch hunt. Trash makes me sick!

[WeThePeopleRleaders]

@diamondcalves OMG so you understand! good bc your very much so right about that. its almost as bad as compulsive liars, but worse because these ppl ACTUALLY drain you.

[megaswenson]

So THAT's what an Emotional Vampire is? Boy! Those are sooooo benign, compared to the monsters I have to cope with. Is that really the whole definition, or did they leave out the worst parts to "keep it light" for TV?

A cousin was one of these harmless vampires. He would trap me in hours-long discussions of his problems (which boiled down to the fact that his tiny inheritance allowed him to not do anything about anything). He died totally alone, because EVERYONE, eventually avoided him.

[TheEmotionalAbuse]

this twitter channel is about abuse & self improvement:

twitter . com / EmotionalAbuseC

[tobiaslarsgunnar]

Get your courage and SPEAK UP!

30 seconds of a bit of fear or 30 years of slow suffering!!!

which would you want?

[korictixor]

@tobiaslarsgunnar truth told, the best way to deal with bullying is to nip it in the bud, if you ignore the bully they will escalate the attacks and you will have to take even more extreme actions to put an end to it, something as simple as saying that you're upset by what someone has just said can change the atmosphere considerably, from one where you are the target of bigotry to one where the bully looks obnoxious, it's important for parents to teach this

[tobiaslarsgunnar]

@korictixor exactly what I said 'SPEAK UP' . Now if you can do it 'cleanly' w/o 'getting back at them' so much the better. But speak up if you haven't for a long time. Get the ball rolling. see our vid on same subject : "spiritual energy vampires" on youtube