Nonviolent Communication Part 1 Marshall Rosenberg

[Kreimehn]

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication sounds like a method, and based on this video alone, i surmise that this method should remain only a method. When the method becomes philosophy, it can become religion. Now it is a powerful generator of violence.

[Cuv112]

There is no good or bad, just consequences for our actions.

[3299328832]

Venus Project = Nonviolent Communication (:

[jesusloveofmylife]

spread the peace and love consciousness, Welcome the Golden Age.

thanks and blessings

[topgun101tom]

The man is cool. I like that term too

[Vaijykone]

Wow, this goes to favorites right away and i'm going to share this.

[HULACODA]

Good talk, but the transcription has errors :( ... It appears the equipment has auto-correct?

[HULACODA]

Good talk, but the transcription has errors :(

[TheFunkyFlipper]

Marshall, thank you so much for developing violent free communication!

Around one year ago I first got in contact with it. It was a really mind opening and mind blowing experience. After I was thinking a lot about it and changed my way of thinking about people I am now slowly integrating violent free communication into my life - and its huge!

If you would like to share you thoughts about violent free communication at a more proper place, feel free to visit youtubesurfers com

[rickiis]

Happy Birthday Marshall and grateful for your contributions to myself and the world.....

[nicheprof]

Excellent series laying out the communication options we all have for choosing the more compassionate and empowering communicative styles over more negative options

[nicheprof]

Excellent series laying out the communication options we all have for choosing the more compassionate and empowering communicative styles over more negative options

[4HahaTwo]

Unbelievable how simple this is!

[longfootbuddy]

and what if you lived on an island of perfectly peaceful people....one evil man could kill everyone...that is unless some used... im not saying youd have to kill him, but you would have to use physical force to make him stop his evil actions

[longfootbuddy]

of course, there is the possibility that one could save his own soul by refusing to defend himself in this life...and though that may be, how many of you could watch an evil man murder and torture your family.. and not use violence to try to stop it? im not sure it would be an honorable thing to do in a case like that

[longfootbuddy]

marshall can talk his head off to some evil people, and they wont ever cease their evil deeds done to people...im afraid that the doctor assumes that all men are reasonable, in which good can be drawn out of them through talking... but i see a very different picture of mankind... there are men that can be talked to, and there are men that cant be...  i suppose theres a chance you can outwit them to avoid violence, but you may wind up dead also if you refuse to defend yourself, along with family

[longfootbuddy]

one thing is for sure, its not only tyrants that fall into anger and violence in life, as marshalls saying

[longfootbuddy]

...well, Atuk the terrible wont listen to reason, or anything i have to say about his behavior, so after so much trying to talk him out of making my life miserable, i decide to make him stop directly, with violence...and sure enough, that stops it, because hes now dead...however, i have now done evil....this is hard to overcome, and only very enlightened people are able to do it...and im not even sure its good to be passive in the face of evil, but it has made sense to me at times

[longfootbuddy]

i have an anger problem that i constantly wrestle with...and my opinion on this matter, is that this stems from the frustration of dealing with people that refuse to stop what i percieve as evils... for example, suppose im living 20 thousand years ago, as a caveman type...im minding my own business, not harming anyone, and here comes Atuk, an evil asshole that wants to push me around, steal from me, shag my wife, and commit all kinds of harrassment and pain...

[MonisMind]

I need to retouch on my NVC because Im a little rusty.

[rickiis]

Yes NVC can be challenging for new practitioners, yet when the intention is really for authenticity and to connect with the speaker, the words if offered flow out naturally and easily.

Many times I don't need to offer words as the intention is felt by the speaker. When you do offer empathy verbally, try not to use "need" but maybe value, like, like: such as: Do you want more confidence using NVC?

[Burawura]

@selloutworld Too much importance attached to language? Language is the basis of intelligence and civilization. It's importance cannotbe underestimated.

[selloutworld]

I'm inclined t o go with chubbypekingnese, frankly I need to know more without spending otherwise productive time on all this background especially since the premise seems to deny violence as a part of our nature. To think that it is considered a spiritual practice is frankly a bit sad to me, as it is such a reductionistic view attaching to much importance to language. I recommend looking up Lewis Blacks video "Bad Language" here on YouTube.

[mdevitt88030]

I have taken this training. It is amazing what happens when you are heard and respected for having needs. And given the space to bring your requests to the table. I am grateful. I am less lost in rationalizations of right and wrong as a means to get my needs met. For that I am grateful. When I watch political pundits on TV bringing their ideals and values to the table I see how overly complex we have made the human equation in modern society. I want them to tell me their veiled need.

[LisaTeachesHTGWYW]

Would you like to learn NVC for free on Youtube? I've been studying and teaching NVC since 2004. I wish everyone spoke Giraffe. I have such a passion...I created an entire channel devoted to teaching NVC to beginners. If you would like to watch my videos, at the top of this page, type LEARN NVC FOR FREE ON YOUTUBE and then click search. Thanks for reading! Lisa ;-)

[wilsontsl1]

When we are not harming ourselves we are not harming others. When we are not harming others we are not harming ourselves. What's the difference? NONE whatsoever!

Thank u Marshall.

[chubbypekingnese]

Interesting... I think that there are a lot of assuptions in his theory that man didnt start become more violent until 8000 years ago.

Animals of all kinds use violent communications with each other. It isnt a MAN thing.

I do believe in non violent communication. I find that nonviolent communication breaks down when someone doesnt subscribe to anothers opinions. When I fail to came to an agreement with people I find that they resort to threats of violence. And thats it in a nutshell.

[dannyofthededd]

when we were all in small tribes maybe our violence was directed outwards as a means of surviving amongst the elements and nature. surely the most cunning and violent would have been the ones who fetched home the most meat for dinner and therefore would've held the most respect from the others in the tribe. we have now been so far removed from nature that maybe either the loving part or the killing parts of us are the only natural thing that is left in us

[codelocator]

'What are your needs?'

'Well, we're running out of oil so we need to steal yours and kill anyone that gets in the way'.

[CoronaMage]

Every diplomat should know about this video

[illegallyblind]

I think Rosenburg does not recognize the situations and needs of today. Our societies are extremely different than 8,000 years ago. Large societies are different than tribes. Industrialized societies are another exception. He recognizes philosophically different societies, but not the fact that more industrialized, compressed, and culturally sparse societies are much more complex than isolated tribes. I think we can learn something from this lecture, however, it is not realistic...

[Frozareus]

I read his book and if you don't know these things by yourself there is something wrong with you...

[derman077]

Amazing yet so obvious.

[rickiis]

By using NVC skills and consciousness, the violent situation I was involved with last week was calmed in 2 minutes by offering the other person empathy and then he was able to hear me. I don't theorize NVC yet really practice it daily. It does work in my life to bring peace and harmony, quickly and with quality. thanks always to Marshall..

[Culloa2]

I like the idea of nonviolent communication. However i don't see the logic in the assertion that violent communication suddenly appeared 8,000 years ago. i tend to think violence is deeply ingrained into the nature of evolution. it's possible that we evolved out of a very violent nature and somehow found the ability to live in harmony. i believe it has been accomplished in societies around the world for periods through history, but have been destroyed by violent societies.

[itsmedontusee]

He is trying to help people right? Or is he trying to get a cult?

[pauweur]

@itsmedontusee No, its not a cult. anything can be turned into a cult! but nvc is not a cultic group. there are 8 criteria for mind control and cultic groups. there is a video in my "cults playlist" on my site if interested in knowing more about the criteria of cult groups.

[byteusa]

Should have started at 4:45 and ended with the beginning.

[cfcreative1]

20 years down the road I believe modern psychology will be dealing with the damage caused by new age psychology. In it's greed to make a buck it will tell you what you want to hear rather then encouraging old fashioned straightforward communication.

[captainnaughtypants]

@cfcreative1 thank you for your response. I suppose the internal logic of its teachings would allow one to defend your critique as a 'judgement', but I'll see your hand and raise. History teaches us that it is unreasonable to judge a teaching by the behavior of its followers. Do you believe that this theory is fundamentally flawed, or that it is over-hyped, ill-applied, and substantially lost to fashonista wannabe therapists, or both? If so, why?

[pauweur]

@cfcreative1 yes, I understand what you are pointing too, and agree. however the intention of Marshall's work is to actually cut-through all the bullshit and get straight to the core of the issue. it is a skill set that is suppose to help people become MORE "straightforward" with what is going on in themselves. ie more connected to what is real, more able to articulate the truth. NVC can be done while screaming! it is not about being passive. its about being honest and deeply connected.

[cfcreative1]

I don't know is it a cult?

[cfcreative1]

I will always remember Marshall Rosenberg and will be always wary of anyone that follows his teachings. I speak for myself and many people that have been scarred by this person and his teachings.

[captainnaughtypants]

@cfcreative1 can you please clarify your position for those of us who may not understand why you find MR's teachings potentially dangerous? If you have a legitimate point or not, we deserve to hear it.

[pauweur]

@cfcreative1 hello, cfcreative1, I specialize in cults, mind control, and power abuse. I have never heard of any abuse coming from Marshall Rosenberg. I deeply understand how any skill set can be used for negative purposes. Marshall often shows how NVC can be misused in his workshops as an attempt to steer people away from abusing the skill set. however that doesn't mean "no abuse" has happened behind closed doors. would you be willing to talk to me about what you went through? please email me.

[prabodh521]

Thanx

[MillyVanillification]

Absolutely right. Thanks for uploading.

[rickiis]

It is funny since I have heard his jokes so many times at live workshops. Somehow the same jokes keep getting funnier. I keep trying to figure out how he does this. A master speaker and a huge contribution to our world.

[grainemediation]

I am a divorce mediator and, therefore, practice your methodology every day. I am fascinated with the theory that the language of non-violent communication (needs based), though the most natural way to get along (anthropologically speaking), was simply misplaced by historic episodes. That means that historic episodes can bring it back to normal. You are a great part of that movement. Thank you.

[ecxod]

Marshall is what I call a old Hippie :)) The God of all EMOS :))

[tastaturenpirat]

i use lots of of bad words..but not to cause any suffer...

[LammaTavis]

@cbtalis Are you sufferring from a lot of pain inside yourself? Perhaps you have been hurt a lot in your life by others and now that pain inside wishes to be more at home in the world by creating pain around yourself that it can resonate with? Basically you are expressing a need to be connected with others and you find you can do this through pain?

[LammaTavis]

@cbtalis I remember looking for excitement to alleviate boredom and frustration as a teen also. One can get addicted to anything, video games, sex or even violence. For me, I've been trying to face the violence (harm to life) cause by my indulgence in my own special fetish or addiction. I no longer want to hurt myself and others with habits that cause suffering. It's hard to change though. I just keep turning my attention inward - a kind of inner body meditation - among other things :-)

[KingofStarfox]

@LammaTavis Very insightful LammaTavis @cbtalis was probably abused by his parents/family and does not know how else to express his anger and humiliation.

[aVeryBmovie]

NVC could change the world if everyone committed to it!

[mailtob]

LIKE CAUSES always produces LIKE EFFECTS

Thanks for the upload

[mooshoo56]

AMEN and NAMASTE!!!

[mettabhavana1]

So, when I' mediating between two groups that are thinking that way, who are at war with each other, each time they use that kind of thinking I translate it into an unmet need."

"... and I asked: What needs of yours are not beeing met and I'm confident if we can get everbody's needs getting clarified. We'll find a strategy for meeting the needs of people."

[niamaria09]

"Are our needs being met? And if not what can we do so that everyone's needs get met" That's the language of non-violent communication.

Invaluable work, thank you so much for this video Dr. Rosenberg. I got so much clarity.

[exclamation3mark]

What about the definition of need and the perception of relative needs?

[sadunkal]

What do you mean by "relative needs"?

Need is one of those basic words, I noticed that it's not too easy to define. I guess you could define "need" as a sense of lacking something you want or long for. But why exactly did you ask for a definition? Was something unclear because of a lack of definition?

[rexdxiv]

Priceless!  Thank you Dr. Marshall Rosenberg... Your contribution is invaluable.

[ShtemeTeamBrad]

were the photographers of the Rosenburgs credited?

[locura61]

you see this kind of language in classrooms across the country.... teachers have a very little chance to change this as the media/tv programs and even our society make this kind of language an acceptable every day thing... I feel that if we could just talk and demonstrate love as a society including the media and tv programs it would really extinct this kind of language.

[Jackpotband]

Fantasticke!

[thoubard]

I suffered from severe depression and it was suggested that I follow Dr Burn's book "Feeling good - the new mood therapy" which led me to Marshall's NVC program. My life has changed drastically by following both of these great men's contributions to life. I am forever grateful...

[OpineTime]

This method of social interaction is the key to humanity's freedom.

What a wonderful observation Marshall Rosenberg has made.

[Intimo1901]

Quiero este libro si o si y quiero este video con subtitulos.

[changeahora]

@Intimo1901

Ya existe en Espanol - titulo: "Comunicación no violenta. Un lenguaje de vida" Busca en el internet.... - suerte!

[chrlbaseball88]

what an amazing person

[DurAR89]

I saw Marshall in a different video earlier this year. He helped change my way of thinking for the better. Thank you quebabe39 for sharing this.

[ThunderSequoia]

Can anyone figure a way to add subtitles to all the NVC videos so that Deaf & hard of hearing people can have access to learn from?

[chris3443]

If you would like subtitles added, I currently run a translation company that can help you with it. Send me a PM if you are interested!

[natales]

Very interesting, it reminds me of "Ontology of language" by Rafael Echeverría; Paul Watzlawick; harvard's negotiation model (Ury William and others), and Buddhism, specially when he talks about "a compassioante way". Ury William use the terms "positions" and "interests", what you have to look for are the "interests behind the positions", which are the needs that Rosenberg is talking about. I haven't read anything from Rosenberg, so may be I'm wrong, but I'm very interest for further reading.

[dunbaraw]

I have syudied communication all of my life, never have I been more excited about a new way to connect than with this method. It works, it is timely. This is the time for this to work. I have used NVC or Commpassionate Communication for 8 years now. My husband and I thought we had the best connection. Now, we know it can always get better!! My work in mediation enjoys success with these tools in use. Empathy, something we are all hungry for. What is empathy? Marshall knows and will tell you!

[rickiis]

NVC, a path I started 5 years ago and will always will be grateful for these learnings, this consciousness, spirituality and a chance to share Compassionate Communication with many others. Marshall I thank you for helping to pave the way for my transformation.

It is fun!

[thomasmarm]

drmgiver, sounds like you need what we all need; security & peace. Marshall doesn't advocate letting Al Quaeda or anyone else walk all over us or anybody else. He advocates the "protective use of force"- force used to protect us and others, not to punish. When you react to feelings of fear you perpetuate a system from which there is no escape. Peace can be achieved without putting ourselves at risk - ever. Rosenberg will go down in history as a great man.

[runelarat]

love his work. I´m studying this since nearly a year and it changed my live to be more free, responsible and generous in giving good live feelings. It´s just the way to paradise again because this teaches the love what we need to reconnect with the ones who could be important for us in any way.

[aura521]

This man has an important message. We have to at least strive for greater understanding and peace. What do have to lose if we work at better communication with the goal of peace? We have everything to gain

[BytomGirl]

This wonderful man changed my life. I had workshops with him personally and he is a remarkable man. I was reacting too much in

the time of big stress, thanks to him I am

a new person with understanding and empathy for all human beings.

[drmgiver]

The unfortunate fatal error however is when it is applied to terrorists such as Al Qaeda. These people unfortunately do not want to compromise with anyone. They have absolutely no desire to drink tea and discuss things with us, they want to kill us. That is their goal. We have given in to them countless times and they do nothing more but create more terror to gain more ground. Now its time to fight back

[Andre2099]

This is an amazing approach to communication. I'm a senior engineering undergrad, and I'm in a group project class for my senior design. pooor communication and bad behavior coming from some members of the group almost led to our downfall. One member sometimes had violent behavior towards me when I would approach him. My teacher suggesting this technique of communicating, and with carefuly choosing my words, I tried it. Unbelievable, I pulled this team together! I think it changed my life.

[BytomGirl]

I was at DR, Rosenberg's workshop, he was wonderful. I learned how not to react to

someone else's anger and feel empathy for even those who showed anger through understanding where that anger was coming from. There is never need to get angry or agressive to get what we want, NVC is about fulfilling each other's needs but in a way

that doesn't insult or blame others or ourselves. Thank you Dr. Rosenberg!

[XYZ8]

What a wise man, indeed!!! You can see this specific kind of internal power and innteligence on his face!!! I think he's able to help many people!!! And I bless him for that he helped You so succesfully, My Darling!!! I love You with all my heart and soul, My Dearest!!!

[BytomGirl]

Thank you Sweety, thanks to him I am who I am

now, the person you love and who will always love you peacufuly and we will fullfil mutual needs instead of ever fighting.

[XYZ8]

True love doesn't consist in any fighting at all, My Sweetest, but just in understanding each other's needs and fulfiling each other's wishes. It's so obvious, indeed. And what a pity that some people are not able to understand such a simple thing!!!

[BytomGirl]

Yes my Darling, it's a pity that people have to fi ght at all to get their needs across

when just expressing them can bring the same result.

[itekisan]

Tx 4 the upload! I'm currently reading his book.

[sparkalot]

Evolutionary snag indeed(lol!)So that's the basis of what's ailing us/me?If he could impart a solitary strand of his orientation to my insufferable ex-husband(anything's possible)but in truth, pretty darn remote.I don't think the label(non-violent)undermines that much if it promotes more accessibility/interest of the idea to the public. Establishing authentic empathy and mutual respect is always the first(and hardest)order of business of the insular(human)mindset(one tough nut to crack)

[pennilesscripple]

yeah if it reaches the public no wuckas

but i wouldn't have watched it from the title, personally--i watched it because itsfilthy featured it, in spite of the title

as i've pretty much had it with eco-pacifists who preach 'non-violence' which really means allowing violence to continue in the form of the destruction of life on this planet

[sparkalot]

...I agree,had it long ago with that lot(the eco-pacifists)often their m.o./bs is just their oppressors same schtick turned cuddly side-out(same rotten entrails)Not that I'm fishing for a definitive statement from you(or anything..)but does this mean that J.P.Sartre got it right or perhaps Micheal Focault. Not that I consider anyone or anything having exclusivity on the truth, but ya gotta admit some have made bigger contributions than others in climbing this steep,slippery slope.

[pennilesscripple]

i dunno

i guess i get my truths from poets

[pennilesscripple]

"i asked for needs and what they gave me was an analysis of each other's pathology"

yep that's how it goes

[sparkalot]

Ola penni, my reply to your comment is below(or above?)I forgot that it's not your upload and misdirected the location of it, cheers

[pennilesscripple]

i really like what he says but calling it 'nonviolent communication' really undermines the whole idea of shifting the language

[pennilesscripple]

"needs-based communication"?

[sparkalot]

"The wrong words make you listen in this criminal world"...David Bowie,

Fantastic Voyage, the opening track from his 70's studio album, Lodger. All roads lead to Bowie.

[pennilesscripple]

apparently

[gulogulopdx]

yeah!

[pennilesscripple]

excellent

thank you

[yukikaze2001]

I read his book and it turned around a lot of my believe systems. It added to the 'well being' of my life and the others around me. Thanks Marshall!

[MCIAtlanta]

Send this man to Israel to help that nation's leaders and extremists to understand that their "need for safety" would be far better achieved by simply understanding the natural need for human dignity that their Palestinian victims have been seeking for 70 years.

[blueworld123]

This is really interesting.

[littlewaitress]

satyagraha for dummies

[bwhahrhr]

wonderfull!

[wohlsein]

mustsee!

[billhuston]

Thanks for posting this, Colette. This is a really great intro into NVC and the mind of M.R. Fabulous!

[hurenscheisse]

i think that this is really intersesting and should be getting teached in every school in  the world.

[tktoadE]

It is taught in all Waldorf Schools and in some public schools around the World. I agree that the World would be a healthier place if every school taught this way of communicating and listening. I have heard Mr. Rosenberg and others say that the kids pick it up very quickly.

[lewisreford]

i am doing reasearch in education @ uni and it is in a modlue that we do but this is the last yr it will be tought if someone dosnt take over from the lecturer who is now leaving!