'Long Stabby Thing' - Today Show

[TWASME1]

Faaaarking funny shit, Carl is still the man. Live the look when they finally got what was going on. Awesome stuff today

[123perrin]

@Melisafatsmellyskank wow... i hit the nail right on the head didnt i? lol. u mad bro? u mad? i think so, cause what i said about you seems to have hit a raw nerve with you xD so c'mon mr wonderful, show us ur pic - or dont u have the guts? if u dont - it tells everyone on utube ur tough from the safety of ur mums bedroom, but u fail at real life LOL. oh, and btw, at least i have a real gf, not some blow up doll i hide from mum ;)

[123perrin]

@Melisafatsmellyskank ...ur a mentally retarded loser that prob still lives at home at 30 yrs of age. and prob still a virgin. ive been looking at the comments u leave..all you do is hate on newsreaders - female ones. look at ur account name..u have serious mental health issues. perhaps u should leave the pc in ur mums bedroom, and go out and get a life, friggen loser =)

[ellenfgarde12]

the morning I love this program and this site

brunosupershow.blogspot.com

[eddyvlad]

I watched this 10 times and its still funny

[pattywaffle]

Bloody hell that's hilarious. Well done on the boys for maintaining composure for as long as they did.

[BluesmaNeedham]

i feel sooooo bad for the woman in purple. she looks so embarrassed and confused about what's going on... hahahahaha

[Randcom]

"and whacking them off from a distance.."

[theFR33D0M]

What did the chick say at 1:13?

[UNCIVILIZED07]

@theFR33D0M 'Thanks Lise, your hearing me'

[Bleh971]

wide open... like WIDE OPEN!

[Nomadmandude]

I'm moving to Sydney.

[DarthSpooon]

good old australian morning tv

[4ipodmusic]

LMFAO what city was this?

sounds like london lol

[gumus25]

@4ipodmusic - Sydney/Australia

[Wilkeh1]

@4ipodmusic How the hell do they possibly sound British?!? lol

[4ipodmusic]

@Wilkeh1 i cant tell the diference between the languages! im american, duh. hahaha lol

[forgottencitizen]

@4ipodmusic stop making us look dumb. it's an accent not a language you doofus. and plenty of americans know the difference between accents -_-;;

[4ipodmusic]

@forgottencitizen no we dont. don't know the hell you heard this from and I know its an accent i speak english too

[colby70000]

tim my long stubby thing lol funny karl is laughing his head off and wacking them off from a distanes lol

[HamGreenandEggs]

Penis. They are talking about penis.

[Scracar]

I love the way he says 'door'... hahah, so slav

[pwnageprata]

"I'm just going out for a while."

Karl is a bro, i would have a beer with him

[TRMAU]

SO HE JUST WHACKS EM OFF HUH...... INTERESTING

[nicholaswright2006]

@TRMAU that's the joke, BRO

[79thstreetsoundstage]

In the US we can keep either a long or a short shooting thing by the bed. Single shot or semi automatic.

[dividednation44]

@8503Mattster girls dont have long stabby things you idiot

[PECHPIELORD]

TIM? dad what about mum

[dvirxm]

steel bat

its batman combined with ironman.

Youre screwed now

[jryan6969]

The YELLOW lady is hotter!

[TheCeki1982]

@jryan6969 Not! The purple one is more **** . Wink.

[reschla]

Karl's face at 1:04 - priceless

[Lilztheawesome]

WE'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT!

[sahadeet]

Ahh...Now I remember why I gave up on TV. You Americans out there, these are lower end Australians. Probably Tasmanians. Definately not the cream of the crop.

[nafslee]

@Hexpane stereotyping all Australians as being 'pretty and dumb' is the same as the rest of the world thinking all Americans are stupid.

[currymuncher7]

@Hexpane I think you missed the point. They're laughing more at the fact that the womans talking about her husbands cock as a long stabby thing later on and then the other bloke saying he prefers to whack em off from a distance (slang for jerk off) that sends karl over the edge.

[peoplewhodrinkable]

Rude and crude! I remember reading about this charade a couple of months ago on the internet,but I could never figure out that it was this stupid! Pfff! How come a bunch of teenagers do not present these shows? I mean I can't see any difference!

[anuthutantrum]

SHE USED TO USE THE OLYMPIC TO4RCH UP HER PUSSY UNTI SHE MET TIM LOLOLOLOLOLLO HAHHHAHAHAHAHHA SO FUNNY

[anuthutantrum]

fuck i love straya

[nottellingu0]

how bout this chick in yellow at the end trying to push it further by asking "so u dont have a long stabby thing?"....bet she wants a bit of a stab ;)

[JustImaginee]

Georgie doesnt really seem like she has a sense of humour...

[IIMagiciaN]

Fucking crack up

[Heennrriiicckk]

and this guy won the gold Logie !!!??????

[Heennrriiicckk]

A good example of how to make something pathetically unfunny seem funny is for the hosts to pretend to lose it . A percentage of the brain dead audience will truly believe what was said was actually funny.These guys are like immature school boys and not even at that level these days.

[CuddlyOx]

@Heennrriiicckk HEY BRAH, YOU CLEARLY DON'T GET THE JOKE.

WHAT ARE YA? FUCKING 12?

[Heennrriiicckk]

@CuddlyOx Maybe you have to be 12 yo or have the mental age of one to appreciate it.

You call it a joke LOL, you sad pathetic dumb fuck !

[quizmaster85]

And now Karl has the 2011 Gold Logie. Maybe for this moment?

[shidduppadoo]

ummmm....... did benny just say 'three stories' WTF???

[Saachasm]

Notice how all the men break-down into hysterics and the ladies have absolutely no idea what's so funny.

[macaber20]

@Saachasm the women are definitely aware of what's going in! they're just much more in control!

[supyops]

ben fordham "I want to be standing off and wacking them off from a distance"

LOOOOOL

[endracismguy]

hahahahahahahahahaha x1000 fucking boring today show

[railmaggot3]

yeah she had o dildo at home 4 sure, she went red ha ha ha stupid bitch

[Mamawaldi07]

Wouldn't mind letting that Georgie handle my short stabby thing

[BassalDesigns]

ahahahahahahaha!

[cheeseburgerzert]

@themazemakers

Mate it cant be staged haha

Ive always woken up with today and trust me its always unpredictable where and how they come up with these topics. Sure they think of things to say to each other during add breaks and stuff, but renacting an already told story on live tv with such natural responses.....cmon

[IpodZombie]

Its called a knife

[VT1GYM]

DJPANDATONY I totally agree!

[themazemakers]

This is staged any one know about the ten news thing seems everyone is doing it now

[lovelustremix]

Ben Fordham is so hot!

[TheCeki1982]

The PURPLE lady is HOT! Milf?

[coldplayISshit]

@TheCeki1982 that's Georgie Gardner mate and YES she's very cute.

[TheCeki1982]

@coldplayISshit Thanks mate. And yes, you can be proud. As we say here in Belgium : nice people in Australia. Completely different then in B. Open minded and VERY social.

Time to get a dodo now : 05.44 here. Thanks mate.

Kind regards.

[OzyBrum]

Yep yanks, this is us. Prime time morning aussie breakfast show. Its ol tje rest of us arnt this weird nor paranoid.

[GingeForPresident]

LOVE IT. They are all so funny.

[professorpotter777]

oh yeah, purple shirt gets it, she got mr long stabby thing right in the booty!

[eaze1984]

bloody GOLD!!!

[eaze1984]

bloody GOLD!!!!

[Rastace96]

Wack him off ROFL

[DazMon1967]

Carl loves wearing that tie; it's hideous.

[afrojoe52]

lol. purple shirt doesn't get it.

[imjoe18]

They only did this so they could be on youtubes most clicked

[hrv01234]

um.... what?? 

[xxmelv1llexx]

That is too funny.

[janeazzaro]

Very Funny!

[alextopp]

ahhaha what a joke!

[earthman202]

FUCKING LOL

[DhrUnes]

wtf 

[Nickinoodle11]

HOW DID I EVER MISS THIS? THIS WAS ON THURSDAY, I SWEAR I WAS WATCHING IT THEN!

[milzydog]

this is the best thing I have ever seen.

[rodiddy2]

hahaha best news EVER,

[yarrowworks]

How many times has Karl walked off the set?!

[kaidi88]

haha great! love georgie! 

[SpeedStrike7]

He would whack him off from a distance eh...How is this possible. :O

[ohyeah7272]

1:53 so are you saying you dont have a long stabby thing

[deerteevegas]

aww i miss watching the today show, i wish the whole morning crew would do something a little more prime time. would probably increase their ratings. It'd definitely be better than those channel 7 and 10 schmucks

[HEKKO1235]

lol once my uncles wife said omg hunny someone is trying to break into our window door..... then my uncle got up nd the wife said lets call the police. then my uncle said nah lets do this!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH open the curtain nd screamed hhahahahahahahhahhaha then the robber ran like a little girl...... funniest story yet..

[TheNextLane]

@HEKKO1235 seriously mate, that is not funny at all.

[johnosandra]

@TheNextLane larry is the king carl is an idiot andrew okeefe is smart and a total dickhead a wanker to the bone

[HEKKO1235]

@TheNextLane y isnt it funny??????? i dnt think u get it

[corloskey]

I dont keep my long stabby thing next to my bed. It sleeps in the bed..........in my pants

[FlyingRat1]

Bitch in purple annoyed me. Making obvious jokes, and then looking as if she didn't have a clue.

[brillaree]

@FlyingRat1 easily annoyed hey

[FlyingRat1]

@brillaree Yeah.

[brillaree]

@FlyingRat1 hahahah

[Badrubble]

i have throwing things... sharp throwing things.

[dalekfilms]

1:07 - 1:12 Multitude of uses? Sexual joke.

[tooj713]

this is one long running thats what she said joke...

[trje246]

what did she use the olympic torch under her bed for when she was single?

[whythisway]

lol

[jawdroppinp4ht]

LOL!!! "I dont understand".... LOL!!!

[thesteveus]

I'd give that chick in purple a long stabby thing

[MsLetisha1]

im ron burgundy?

[azmanntoz]

its funny until they start doing it all the time because of publicity. They'll start writing it in every show and it'll just get annoying.

[tilly2230]

hahahah that's hilarious :L

it took me like 8 watches just to understand :) I think I get it now ?

[flamez1189]

Too funny! Proud to be Aussie. Glad we can be so carefree even on TV.

[PR0GRAMMING]

I'm Aussie. It's great to see how easy going and relaxed we all are. No one, including news reporters, take themselves too seriously, or put themselves on a pedestal.

[giangpurple]

LMFAO!

[DJPANDATONY]

I'm proud to be Australian, and I'm proud of our sexual innuendos. People who disagree should faarrk ooff maaayt.

[anbrin]

@DJPANDATONY faggot

[RazorsBM]

@DJPANDATONY You give Australians an awful name... "faarrk ooff maaayt" What the hell is this...

[undergroundblu]

@RazorsBM Shut up mate. :)

[d3viou5]

@DJPANDATONY TOP SHELF THATTTT AYEEEE

SUCK OCKARUS!!

[seanys]

Oh yeah, quality television. I gotta be more careful about clicking links in Facebook.

[MrPeterJohnston]

No bloody wonder no one watches the Australian TV... the hosts of these crappy shows are talentless...

Australians should be embarassed about this crap. 

[blinky123abc]

@MrPeterJohnston have a cry

[blinky123abc]

@MrPeterJohnston have a cry then get a sense of humour

[xHawkzOfficialClan]

@MrPeterJohnston says the fag making remixes of Mozart.

[MrPeterJohnston]

@xHawkzOfficialClan Wow - what do you know - the truth hurts...

Didn't realise I'd struck a chord, you wanker. It's fucking well true and you know it.

[garyfoster86]

Hi, im Tim, im Georgie's long stabby thing

[curetril]

I would stab Georgie repeatedly.

[naturallygamer956]

I dnt get why karl lost it?

[DomxBleh]

@naturallygamer956

it was a few things said but mostly the

"I'd wanna be standing back and whacking them off from a distance."

[woolensheep192]

omg why are aussie anchors so funny all of a sudden

[mitcho6612]

rofl wacking him off from a distance

[renmeister1980]

Karl Stefanovic you are superbly awesome! 

[ainsleywainsley]

hahah after 2 mins the blonde still doesn't get it

[unclewooly]

@ainsleywainsley She got it alright. Georgie is just acting ignorant. She would be cracking up inside.. She had to stay cool, She had to read the news.

[missjessicatessica]

lmfao

[bethekins]

I wanna be standing back. And waking them off at a distance.

[jensonvaughan]

Do these girls really not get the joke?  lol

[macro312]

@jensonvaughan

... are you retarded? They were the one who started the joke and the men had to walk off to avoid further embarrassment.

[thazormup]

LOL he is a lost cunt.

[blahblahstimpy]

Wonder what Georgie used the Olympic torch for :P

[pirocan1]

i would so fuckkkk georgie

[willaroxx]

Lmfao I started laughing my head off when she sed  her husband was her long stabby thing.....

[MADBONE0]

WHACKING THEM OFF FROM A DISTANCE> didn't even know how bad that sounded... till Karl lost it!

[drewy1989]

"i'd rather be standing back and wackin' em off from a distance" dude, u rule.... lmfao

[bonzoAU]

is this they got to talk about?no wonder sunrise is rating far in advance of this tripe

[asaw1994]

@bonzoAU what's more entertaining though?... yeah, this is

[unclewooly]

@bonzoAU Is that you David Koch? lol

[logicalstick]

Why does the robot use a long stabbing aparatus when he's probably got a death ray or something...

[RobStaniford]

"tims my long stabby thing"

[brent068]

Idiots



[fozzibbear]

Bahahahaha girl control power rules!!!!!

[Jdavi147]

Thts Gold

[jace96]

channel 10 and 9 are having a competition for sure!

[sneakyboxx]

i dont get it please explain :S ???

[DB07HL]

@nomchews sneakyboxx could be a young innocent person for all you know, and you're just being an dickhead.

[ross46x]

class

[92Vvn]

Oh my the conversation was so uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable myself just watching it.

[MadRaymond1]

rofl.

[TheFeralHunter]

Maybe if the girls thought more about getting it like guys do, they would get it ;)

[Kullabunny]

Best TV ever!! This will go down in the record books for sure!! :D

[NinjaDeathstarVideos]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHA

[LemondropWho]

Hahaha, IDEK.

[chazza7171]

Karl is beautiful and funny.

[raff23]

karl just has a dirty mind and was hinting for someone to say something like that and it happened, not that there is anything wrong with that haha,

[lotsamatts]

ok that was funny as hell :)

[shoescbt]

Standing back and hitting them off from the distance hahahahahahahahahaha !!!!! The way he said it :p

[almontage]

@shoescbt "whacking them off" from a distance... you know what that means surely?!

[tadichsbaby]

Karl Stefanovic is my hero! He is legen...WAIT FOR IT... dary!

[unitedxxx]

LOLOLOLOL

[gtaellis]

awkward....

[keil92]

Best thing that i have seen in quite a while

[moodalicious]

Karl Stefanovic is a legend... He is Australia's Ron Burgundy!!

[thefullnelson1]

@moodalicious Hahahahaa Karl is a legend....

[samisalesbo]

I never realised.... Karl sounds so Australian.....

[sexybabibi]

@samisalesbo lol