Added: 2 years ago
From: TheThinkingAtheist
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  • ALL HAIL CHEESUS CHRIST!

  • it is miracle!!!!!!!!!!

  • Man is neither inherently good nor inherently evil. Man is inherently stupid. The popularity of religion proves it.

  • all i could think was "Sirius black fish sticks!" Black magic!

  • Actually there's no record whatsoever of a man called Jesus. The Bible is fiction. Go out and live your life while your healthy, be a good person, help your fellow man. You don't need Jesus/God or Religion to do that.

  • I still don't understand how it keeps amazing me that people actually believe this stuff.

  • My alphabet soup says 'GOY IS TRU' 2/3. It's a miracle!

  • God doesn't intervene in our world because everyone dies sometime, not always of old age or other health related causes. God never said he will grant us immortality on earth as we live in the flesh but rather in heaven. So why do other people expect him to save everyone from natural disaster? And those "miracles" are merely coincidences and not every christian believes they were miracles, so why generalize an entire population of people because of the actions of some people.

  • @TheEnclaveTrooper But, silly, there is not god.

  • @Derp665 But silly, that's your opinion.

  • @TheEnclaveTrooper no... it is your opinion that there is a god, it is facts from witch i gather my image of things

  • @Derp665 Ok.. well what "facts" disprove my belief, and btw science does not disprove God and don't even try to use that, too many athiests often do not understand that they are different topics.

  • @TheEnclaveTrooper i didnt say science disproves god, i said you dont have proof

  • @Derp665 Well the fact that Jesus is recorded to be an actual person brings some accuracy to the religion, also pontious pilate ( not 100% sure on the spelling) was also recorded in history and is a true person as well. These are some facts that show that indeed some points in the Bible are in fact true/real people. also to prove god is to prove something that is almost unimaginable, something that we cannot truely comprehend, as doing so is out of our mental capacity.

  • @Derp665 And how could you prove something that is immaterial and does not reveal itself plainly infront of our eyes. God wants us to believe in him yes but belief in facts does not a believer make. as said by Jesus to a follower who said he would only believe in Jesus if he saw him " You believe me now because you see me, but in the future there will be those who believe in me without seeing me".

  • @TheEnclaveTrooper I suggest you watch a vid. Type this into youtube search: Zeitgeist - Jesus Christ Exposed.m4v it explains the Jesus myth and, please keep an open mind.

    type it exactly like that...

  • @Derp665 So its a vid comparing the stars and solar movements and saying what exactly. Please elaborate i feel like i mseed the point (seriously, not trying to be arrogant or w/e)

  • @TheEnclaveTrooper It's good that we can have an open minded discussion, anyway, it is a vid showing that the story of jesus is the same as many other prophets of many other religions that came him and explaining it by showing why they believed in it...

    The sun stops for 3 days( well not literally) rises up thus the story of the ressurection, this is just one example, if you didnt understand the vid you can watch it again, it's an extract from a movie series called zeitgeist

  • TheThinkingAtheist has the greatest videos!

    Thanks so much for all that you do.

  • That's not the Virgin Mary, That's Maureen O'Hara.

  • I'm a Christian and I honestly don't think those are miracles just coincidences that people found in nothing.

  • @Icandosomuchbetter2 No way! Blasphemer!!! You will burn in hell!!

    or deep fry in canola oil... depends...

  • Yes, when the Almighty decides to "prove" His existence, burnt toast and oddly formed junk food is definitely the way to go. He wouldn't want to actually show up and establish an ongoing relationship with us or anything tangible like that.

    Something tells me there's lots of money to be made off of superstitious Roman Catholics.

  • @ChipArgyle Have you seen the obviously fake "healing" shows on tv? It's a great way to scam religious folk.

  • @dilt4 Yes. There are hordes of people right here on YouTube who defend a clown named Todd White who does just that for a living. He's a street faith healer who uses all the tricks we've seen debunked by our favorite magicians.

    'It's true I tell you. And he doesn't take payment for it!"

    Simpletons.

  • I think you're preaching a message, unpopular though it is, that NEEDS to fucking be heard, goddammit!

  • Lol!

    So goddamn FUCKING funny, goddammit!

  • Id love to see that shroud of turin report. the one that was faked. plx n thx :D

    my google finger is brokez

  • he moves in mysterious ways... errr.... or is that she moves in mysterious ways (dixit Bono)

  • I think I'm going to enjoy this channel. :) Quite informative and the narrator is funny as hell.

    As for the subscribers...

    The religious are out numbered, I can't find the agnostics anywhere, the atheists seem to be less aggressive than anywhere else on YouTube.

  • This reminds me of the episode of It's Always Sunny where the gang exploits the water stain that looks like the virgin mary. "Oh the good lord is goin down on me." hahahahaha

  • Good vids but preaching to the converted helps nobody and the uploader name is a bit of a giveaway.

  • @baldieman64 Well, it helps those who are still considering or reconsidering their opinion.

    Apart from that, it's a good laugh, too.

  • Damn! Jesus the grilled cheese! Great name for a fastfood restaurant.

  • Christians don't even know what Jesus looked like... LOL!

    IDiots

  • Fuck god, man does so much more. 104 likes for all of your videos. :)

  • @MrSillinde  Also, have you ever notice virtually ANY painting of Adam and Eve? They are anatomically incorrect. Virtually every painting of them shows them having a navel. Neither had a mother so where does the umbellical come from?

  • @brabanthallen LMAO! I would have never thought of that. That's pretty cool that you picked that out. No parents means no cord to cut. Unless then Christians say it was Creationism and Adam was carried in the womb of a horse. What? It could happen. That one guy lived in a whale for a week.

  • The only question I have is how a grilled cheese lasted ten years without spoiling. Or someone eating it.

  • For christians that dont get the point of the video hes talking about why would you want to make a toast instead of saving lifes and diseases and if you say "god has a reason" then rememder alot of those homeless kids and people far away that die of diseases and disasters are not christians so they would go to hell right.

  • Christianity is the license to be stupid

  • one thing that has always bothered me, do christians not realise Jesus was a jew? And I'm not talking about the religion. They always paint him as a white guy, which would be pretty awesome for anyone living in the middle east without sunblock regardless of ethnicity.

  • Bravo!!! Bravooo!!! *whistles* *throws flowers*

  • I don't see Mary in the cheese sandwich. Looks more like a 1930's starlet to me. Or a cyclops if it's upside down.

  • Naruto walks on water, so is Jesus. Not miracle for me.

  • @chesster423 I walk on water too. In the winter. When it's frozen...

  • Creationists say something can't come from nothing. God must have had a creator. That's who I worship. He's much nicer.

  • @paramattic70 i dunno man, if your god created their god, your god must have been pretty high... then again, we all make mistakes, so whatevs. XD

  • The bible says that God created Evil (Isaiah 45:7). So he must have had it in his mind what evil was and what it encompasses.

  • Its' funny that you never see creationists create such convincing and interesting videos that atheists come up with.

  • foolish christian! did GOD told you not to praise or worship any graven images

    thumbs up for this to be  recognized

  • I wonder what the poor idiots who believe in jesus and stuff think about this video.

  • @mimikawaii7386 The make up nonsense excuses as to why it is indeed significant evidence :(

    

  • @SuperMatthew345 Because only a lunatic believes stuff of that caliber without evidence? How's that for them? Lol.

  • This would be so funny... But since Christianity exist and it has it's following - the laughter kind of get stuck in the throat

  • heathens! praise cheesus!!!

  • Your opinions might be correct, but the arguments used are stupid.. plain stupid.

    You don't prove the miracles wrong, you just put other stuff that science made and say it's more important.

    Give us proof that the bleeding statue is fake instead of scientific stuff that happened the same year...

  • @SFighter Well I think it makes a pretty valid point. why would god care more about making a toast with the image of Mary or a Cheeto with the shape of jesus, instead of saving the life of his people?

  • @TheMasterBT It doesn't matter why he cares more about it.

    Take it as a fact...

    if you really want to prove them wrong, you need to contradict rather than give examples for why science is better.

  • @SFighter Well, "why?" is the contradiction. Why doesnt he help the ill and everything?. A) He cant, therefore he is not omnipotent. B) He doesnt want to therefore he is malevolent. or C) there is no god

  • @TheMasterBT Who are you to question his ways?

    Saying 'why' is no contradiction. you are expecting him to do something (help the ill and so on) because that's how you understand you should act if you're almighty.

    However maybe he has a reason that you or me or anyone else can't think of which is actually more important than what you think is right...

  • @SFighter Well, if he really cared for us humans, at leats he would have let us know there is some secret reason for all this evil and suffering.

  • @TheMasterBT

    Once again, maybe 'he' has a better reason than you can think of and no one knows it?...

  • @SFighter well, we cant live our lifes hoping that some allmighty god who has never showed proof of his existance has some secret plan for us and we should waste our time with him. Using that logic, you could worship pretty much anything.

  • @TheMasterBT That's correct...

    But my argument stands still, this video didn't disproof anything about the religious things they mentioned...

  • l always wonder how Jesus on toast is considered a miracle but when a major league pitcher hurls a 90 mph fast toward home plate, but on the way it hits a bird just passing through is NOT considered a miracle. In my opinion the obliterated bird is much more of a miracle than Jesus toast.

  • @Bobgoober16 changing people to worship something against what they believe in or changing what you believe in. My comments are only involuntary.

  • @guillaume958 *facepalm*

  • this vid is a miracle!

  • he does make a good point BUT WILL IT BLEND

  • @Oxpost Same goes for your crap, not all media is Christian related. Rick Perry is the reason for more Christian related content and you aren't forced to watch shit! You could easily turn of your T.V. or leave a worship event. America isn't a fucking dictatorship and don't whine acting like watching christian related things causes stress and diseases! What I am basically saying is negating my shit too... so exactly why can't we all just get along and not give a fuck about who practices what!

  • @LueySanchez i tough swearing was a sin o.o

  • Oh hey, i found a piece of toast that resembles the Flying Spaghetti Monster! it's not random chance, IT'S A MIRACLE!!!

  • I'ts a Miracle!

  • @i3lackdays that is so gunna be my new text message ringtone :D

  • you sound like the postal dude without your radio track lol

  • Anytime I need a laugh I just think about the bible. The Tower of Babel is good for a chuckle, and so is Jonah and the "big fish".

    The bible is pathetic. Hahahahaha

  • @josan2964 I don't give a fuck, why make fun of a religion if you have no affiliation, Why can't we all just get along and not care who is who, just practice your religion and we will practice ours! I am tired of the Atheist fucks who make fun of the Christian religion... just do whatever you do!

  • @LueySanchez I will stop making fun of the Christian religion when the Christians stop trying to convert me.

  • @Bobgoober16

    Agreed =3

  • @Bobgoober16 I myself do not try to convert any atheist I just try to change their thinking don't compare me to a bible toting brown nosing fuck!

  • @LueySanchez And...what do you think converting is?

  • @LueySanchez WEll, considering the fact that Christians more often than not run around telling people that "Jesus loves you" and constantly tries to convert us non-believers, your point is rendered mute more or less. Also, Atheists have to put up with pro-God stuff on a daily basis from TV, Movies, Music and many other things. So don't cry about us wanting to take a piss out of you when we're bombarded with your crap every single day.

  • While these things and other videos from this user don't disprove "god," I feel makes the "god" theory weaker and weaker.

  • Obviously, these aren't miracles, they were miracles to the crazy people and overreactions it was chance, but people get bored just like you did so you decided to put up video's making fun of Christianity and its different branches.

  • @LueySanchez The funny thing is, this video is 100% accurate. The problem is people like you, that feel compelled to tell someone how they shouldn't have made a video, or talked about a certain topic. You're not convincing anyone, dumbass.

  • the toast face looks more like Marylin Monroe than Mary which makes Mary hot if she really resembled Marylin. Is that why God chose her out of the bunch? ;)

  • It's no miracle, it's Pareidolia

  • dude i love this guy.

  • The face in the latte looked more like Chebacca than jesus

  • Haha Holy Toast!

  • Cheese sandwich looks more like Matt Smith....

  • Haha Im a christian and this is so true that such ignorant fools believe that these are miracles of Lord God... Which they are ofcourse not, those damm catholics should stop making this dumb suff up ^^ oh wait catholics are not christians, I totaly forgot xD

  • @Spiritualmindedify they are basically samething. an who said these people were not christain.

  • Comment removed

  • @Spiritualmindedify Catholics are christians. The christians are separated into many branches...

  • @Blasthood

    nope catholics are NOT christians, christians go by the bible... praying to mary (she isnt a deity of Lord God) as well as praying to dead saints is a sin, summoning jesus into the bread and then eating him so we lose our sins (we are already forgivin we just need to accept, its already finished as stated in the bible) the pope says he is equal to Lord God (Jesus Christ), they killed normal christians because they didnt accept their church etc. etc.

  • @Spiritualmindedify Check your facts troll, they are christians. Actually, they're also the original christians, if there are groups which are to be considered not so very christians, it is yours in america. But then again, it's still a religion nonetheless, which means it is all messed up. Really, religions are so obviously a fake, you lack also information on your very own religion lol.

  • @Blasthood

    nope you dont practice it and dont know what christianity is!!! how can you say that its original christianity when it fundamentaly a fact that it isnt... ALL corrupted churches that ruin the image and practice traditions (rituals) are NOT christians, yes religions are human made, but the truth about christ is not, what information am I lacking? show me my lack of information ignorant fool! AND no I am not a Troll, am exposing the cathlolic church as luzifers church!

  • @Spiritualmindedify Are you for real? You do realise that the catholic church regards you as nothing more than a corrupted brunch too? Just as much as you think of them. Read history and look how christianity began. The first official "christianity" is indeed the roman catholic church. Yours are nothing more than branches, seriously, i can tell you're religious by the sheer fact that you refuse any sort of sense and actual reality. What a delusional being you are.

  • @Blasthood

    the kind of dumb stuff are you writing? Do you know what you are talking about? seriously look it up and look at what the original christians practiced and what constantine created!!

    I know how christianity began, by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and the prophets were the very first christians, churches were created to manipulate the human race, the roman catholic church is the synagoge of satan, it missuses the actual christianity, learn more facts!

  • @Spiritualmindedify Bitch please... You're so closed in your own mindset that you won't even accept facts as such... nevertheless i know you're a troll so i'll just let you live in your own little insignificant imaginary world of faeries and unicorns.

  • @Blasthood

    what facts? show them! AND NO! I am no troll... I guess you believe the theory of darwin right? Well that is a damm fake and nonfacutal story! and by the way he even writes in his own book thats its and idea and a theory, since there is a missing link.. I am a christian not a catholic or anyother church hypocrite! Learn more like I said before you make yourself look like a troll!

  • I'm gonna make shit that looks like Jesus and sell them on eBay. I'm gonna make millions off these dumbasses who believe this kind of bullshit. Bwahahaha! - My Evil Laugh. Because i'm obviously going to hell seeing as i'm an athiest.

  • If they allow it, I just added a short video response that shows an object that could have been included in this video. The Miracle of the panty liner.

  • Rofl for the Cheesus loves you.

  • 1:26 "In Cod we trust"

    What cod are you talking about exacly?

  • in the quran it acctually predicts sky scrapers. 'man made buildings that will touch the clouds themselves'.

  • @ProudSoldier117 Looks like you don't know that you can't actually 'touch' the clouds, just like you can't touch the rainbow. And what do you think that cloud is? Some kind of foam or something like that lol? It's just a fog, so, basically every building touches the 'clouds' when it's cloudy out there :)

  • @DoubleM55 the quran was intended for the people of the time as well as today. now and then it uses figurative speech to help those with out the knowledge to understand. if the arabians of the time heard this they would imagine buildings touching the clouds-the clouds that appear to be big fluffy things in the sky. threres no way they could have written the quran.

  • @ProudSoldier117 first prove god exists.

  • @ProudSoldier117

    You don't need god to predict that.

    The fact that man's knowledge of building and infrastructure would have an outcome such as a skyscraper was inevitable.

    If it states 'Man MADE buildings' it is speaking in past tense, meaning that either you're just a crap writer or the passage was written after the first skyscraper was built, which was in 1885, Chicago.

  • @betheperson1 translated into english word for word it appears as past tense however in arabic it relates to the future tense. You need to work with the overall point not the literal translation of the statment. 'Buildings made by man' that ok for you??

  • no coincidence this is 4:20 long

  • I once saw a creationist do this: "I have 2 buckets of water. One has been blessed, one is from my tap." He turned the tap one upside down and pointed to the water dumping out. (it was in a park) He then took the holy one, which had a rope tied to it, and swung it around in front of him. He then said "Look! The holy water doesn't fall out!" A women walked up to him and said "No that's called physics!" She is now my hero!

  • @TheVJackV Lol...

  • @TheVJackV It's a miracle! the woman that is, who would have thought someone would bash that creationist at that exact moment hahaha

  • i think god is just busy trolling us.... he is an internet troll except you replace "internet" with "planet"

  • it´s a know historical fact that it was made by da vinci

  • Can we get this straight? It's the media saying "It's a miracle!", not the believers. These excellent productions would benefit from focussing on the true sources of disinformation that bombard us. Or has the media finally persuaded us to divide ourselves into Us and Them?

  • I love Praying Jesus Cheetos. I'll sell em for just $25 a piece. You go buy some Cheetos and dig out 15 per bag (on avg). If you can't find one, then carve one into a Praying Jesus. Forget scams like bitcoins. This is da shit! Sell em outside a big church on Sunday's. Get your Praying Jesus Cheetos right here folks. Only $25 bucks or 2 for $40 bucks! Make perfect gold necklace charms for loved ones at Christmas. Step right up and buy one today!

  • @Boogyman4050 It won't let me "like" the comment, and so I had to manually say so. O_o

  • 3:50 Dear God! Those hands are from the intro to Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis! Thank you for making me wanting to play that again :P

  • I'm not a narcissist but I feel that religion and most religious people are stupid and a little behind of human evolution.

  • @tkathryyn A little? Religion is fucking medieval. You can't call those people civilized, no evolved civilized creature can be this blind and stupid.

  • @tkathryyn high five dude high five

  • @BlackstrawberryJuicy I'm so not a dude...I look like a girl, but I was born with a penis.

  • Please feel free to visit my first upload also called "Witness a Miracle." I swear the footage is genuine, and the key moment to pay attention is when the film comes into focus. Nothing was applied to my skin. It is important to view it on a large screen or at least a full screen as it may be harder to see on some small hand held devices. p.s I am not selling anything and nor do I intend to. I think it will give both skeptics and believers pause for thought.

  • @veracityfilms nope.jpg

    

  • @veracityfilms RIght I just watched it and erm.....nothing apart from an arm and some scars. What am I missing. Its given me pause for thought, thought that you are barking mad. There is nothing there.

  • I made some toast once and i thought i could see the face of jesus on it. I ate that toast without a second thought.

  • The Old testament is based on the Sumerian stories of humans being created with alien DNA. They didn't want people to know about real spirituality so they could be easily controlled. The teachings of Jesus are about real spirituality where the kingdom of god is within us. It's similar to Hinduism and Buddhism. Look up the man who hasn't eaten for years baffling scientists. The story of Ram Dass is good too.

  • @SuzLa1 so... a man hasn't eaten for years (if that's even possible) and somehow that proves what?

  • These videos are like a breath of fresh air.

    Reality rules!

  • Thanks @thethinkingatheist

    I can and will watch your videos all day

  • "It's a Miracle!"

    HAHAHAHAHA

  • how would a burnt toast get an image of holy figures? can you guys explain it? im really curious how it would happen

  • @armorhide406 Ithink you are trolling, but i am going to feed you anyway... how can i create face with two dots and letter D? like this " :D ".... there is no face, your brain have just tendency to see faces where there are no faces, so few burnt spots on toast creates face + if you believe, you will see a jesus, or mary, or some saint or something.... common sence. "6000" years ago god created universe, 2000 years ago he healed sick(according to bible), and now his biggest miracle is toast

  • @NeedForMadnessSVK i wasn't trolling intentionally, at least. i just dont see how its possible to get a burnt whatever with a pattern that looks like a face

  • @armorhide406 There is no knows way, you should try to put some fat, oil or something... or water, experiment i think you want to make some to sell on Ebay, am i right?

  • @armorhide406 Jesus did it of course. How else would it happen?

  • @armorhide406 It doesn't really have a burnt image of a holy figure the human is conditioned to see faces and well as patterns...you see a pattern and you think it looks like something...when you were young did you ever lay in the grass during summer and watch the clouds and try to figure out what they looked like? You may not have noticed something until your friend pointed it out but once they did you saw it to even though you didn't see it before. This is whats happening.

  • come on! seriously, believers! use common sense.

  • Comment removed

  • I always knew Cheesus loves me.

    *tears of joy*

  • i just see smudge marks

  • Jesus Crust!

  • .... Is it sacrilege to eat Jesus Toast?

  • @mailchibi88 Not if you butter it first.

  • Hey man Cheesus spoke to me! He said thou shall dine on thee finest cheesy puffs money can buy. So, I did. Then I Got violently ill! Thanks Cheesus, you screwed me again!

  • I couldn't say this is a total blasphemy, but its clearly something ridiculous, it almost made my day, if it wasn't because Jesus was involved. I don't think that God reveals himself on a piece of bread or in the form of what you called "Cheezus" but He has other ways to reveal Himself, and way better. And I don't think either that God would care about a statue of the virgin Mary, because He said that we shouldn't make images of Himself, why should she care of "Mary's" one?

  • lol its a miracle

  • Well done mate. I yearn for the day when humanity views "blind faith" not as a virtue, but rather the logical fallacy that it is.

  • Cheesuz loves u

  • Cheesuz as evidence. Fantastic.

  • lmfao cheezus

  • Epic miracle fail.

  • The Abrahamic god of graffiti draws on other food as well. There are thousands of these claimed to be miracles of Allah (the word miracle seems to be used as an explanation of the banal in Islam) so it isn't just JC.

    BTW, the deistic deity of Taoism has drawn the Taijitu on a piece of bread at: grosse dot is dash a dash geek dot com slash blog11 dot html - something that would have had to be done at the very beginning of the universe. Not bad for forward planning.

  • ROLFed so hard at its a miricacle.

  • The father, the son and the holy Toast.

    Ahahaha!!... Nice one!

  • this morning i made a pancake that looked like moses. but i ate it...

  • XD whats with the god and food

  • 420 thats a miracle XD

  • I subscribed.

  • holly fuck!!!!people?

  • @kimanyv

    We can't have it both ways. Either it's (bible) all true or all false. Not both. If it is all true the bible says that John1:1 "in the beginning was the word and the word was God and the word was with God". The word was written in the beginning by GOD. Corrupt and unfair by who's standards, yours, of course you would think that I did too. Its a perfect standard we can't meet. So how would your all loving god write his law. It must be better then what we have now. Right:(

  • @kdecosmo

    I can't have it both ways either it's all TRUE or all FALSE. I can't pick and choose what I want my bible to be. So I believe it's all true despite all the murders rape and whatever else you deem wrong. Let us move into the new testament and investigate the TRUTH. Respectfully yours, Moose

  • @NonExistentPatrisha

    1)Morals don't have to involve him (who's him.) Morals came from the bible. 2)how do you know that it's a fairy tale. 3) I say law because when atheist say "look at the bible and how corrupt it is". How can I take you serious when on one hand you say it's all lies then on the other hand use the bible as it were the truth. It's not a fairy tale. The bible has been historically proven to be true and accurate. Sorry to be such a downer. But it's true

  • Comment removed

  • @moose4495 The Bible may have historically accurate parts, but that doesn't prove whether or not God wrote it. The corrupt and unfair laws in the Bible point towards a law written by man, not an all loving God.

  • Brilliant video...but annoying radio voice-over.