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From: eaptan
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  • 5:04 someone screams like a woman O.O

  • The only thing he got wrong was the alcohol. The doctors swab your arm with alcohol so the skin will break easier. Not to stop infections.

  • alcohol makes the skin break?? easier??

  • yes, it pushes the skin cells apart so the needle can enter the skin layer easier. It also reduces the pain. It also breaks down the skin cells, which is why your arm hurts so long after a shot.

  • "What are you gonna do when some super-virus comes along that turns your vital organs into LIQUID SHIT!!!"

    he's so fucking right !

  • this is a very special individual.. then, now, and forever!

  • He was the fuckin best and he still is the fuckin best we will all miss him :( live on george carlin he is looking up at us laughing

  • armpits, assholes, crotch, and teeth!!! =]

  • you know when i wash my hands? when i shit on them and you know how ofter that happen 2-3 times a week!

  • first offense... into the colon ya go!

  • defense...

  • Does anyone else hear that guy at 5:04?!?

    XD

  • normally i agree with him, but think of the alternative. no one with immunizations, so everyone gets polio. no one cleans right so everyone gets herpes.

  • Lol,

    "We swam in RAW SHIT."

    XD

  • fuckin funny

  • i eat food i drop too :)

  • " We were tempered in raw shit "

    LOL!

  • i think when he yells and swears is the best parts... FUCKINPUSSIES!

  • dang george is super smart =) rip my funny friend =,)

  • LOL

  • That's so true. I was shocked when I got my first job and they told me to wash the kitchen floors with desinfectant every day. The floors! They are for walking on, not cooking on! I never pay any attention to use by -dates, and I've never had a food poisoning, I've got an iron-lined stomach because I don't fuss. And he's right about showers too, as controversial as it may sound to the modern man. Stop being so occupied with 'hygiene': just wash the smelly bits and stop wasting water.

  • lol wtf

  • I love that guy, and I loved that part he spoke.

    But it made worried on one point:

    He was serious, but the public thoguth its a joke when he said that immune system needs practice to be officient.

    But, its true.

    It does need to practice in order to become able to kill infections.

    I'm 31 now, mother never let a doctor touch me with antybiotic unless it was a life threatning thing.

    I DONT HAVE A SINGLE ALLERGY AND NEVER HAD.

  • yes this is very true and proven, people who tend to live on farms and inside urban societies(inner city) are far more immune to most allergens and minor viruses. hell many bacterias are needed in the body.

  • how about you eat shit, asshole.....PISS OFF

  • That's what I love about George, you watch his show and laugh in the moment at the joke. Then later when you go home you tend to think about what he was actually saying and it seems to hit home.

    Or maybe that's just me.

  • fucking legend this guy

  • funny... but it is truth.. like almost every fact he says on his stand-ups

  • R.I.P George Carlin you are sorely missed.

    the world wont ever be the same without you.

  • what?

  • we were tempered in raw shit !!!!! llololol

  • ROFLMAO

  • That was hilarious!!!

  • that has to be true he died of heart failure not a disease

  • George says it like it is!

  • we are tempered in raw shit

  • Over the counter cold medicines merely mask symptoms and, when fighting a cold, that's a crucial mistake. Symptoms like congestion, fever, and sore throat happen for a reason. they help rid your body of the cold virus. When you let your symptoms run their course,, you'll end your cold sooner and strengthen your immune system in the process.

  • cold medication are now actually killing people...mostly cough medicine

  • Yep I've never gotten a flu shot in my whole life and I've never gotten the flu. I never get sick. Just a little cold the occasional winter. I dont take medication for it either.

  • same here its stupid because the flu shot just gives you the flu. its like a little bit of it so your immune system figures out how to fight it. i just dont get a shot and i never get the flu. simple as that =D

  • what? so your immune system is weaker... and you think you'll never get the flu? i don't know what you mean?

  • no what happens is when you are injected with a flu shot it is actually a very small ammount of the flu. Such a tiny amount that your immune system can fight it off too easily, but your immune system is still on guard you know? so when you really DO get the flu, your immune system fights it off a hell of a lot faster

  • This guy is the best!! But, is it true what he says: that you're immune system actually gets stronger the more germs it has to fight off?

  • Yeah...everyone knows that.

  • yes because if your immune system has to fight off germs it gets used to the germs and it like...learns how to deal with it better.

  • Why do they swab your arm before a lethal injection if you're going to die anyways?

  • Because its protocol, they also use a new sterylized needle everytime.

    It is not the only case where stuff like this happens.

    It's like he says in another video, sometimes there is just too much structure in life, a bit of chaos goes a long way.

  • "armpit, asshole, crotch and teeth. to save time use the same brush on all fOUR!"

  • Your immune system really does need practice.

  • HAHAHAHAH, FUBARSUICIDE!!!! HAHAHAHAH..... You.... Make Me Laugh....... True, water is what people do to wash their hands... But alcohol kills germs. Have you never been in a job, or gone to a hospital? Lmfao dude...

  • Basketball: Michael Jordon

    Golf: Tiger Woods

    Hockey: Wayne Gretsky

    Comedy: George Carlin

  • "I only wash my hands when i Shit on them!"

  • armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth LOL

  • he'll jump on anything and turn it into a funny

  • I've watched most of the George Carlin videos on youtube over the past few weeks. I've gotta say, so far I haven't seen anything that wasn't funny.

  • lol "youtube" i just thought of it myself, he would freakin laugh at all those people commenting and writing the same sentences we just saw him say "what are you stupid?!" :D

  • You make it seem like it's been forever since he died, lol. It was last year.

  • I was a fucking filthy crazy kid that actually played in dirt now I never get sick or anything I am healthy as a fucking champion. Why not I got Weapons of Mass Destruction patrolling my body! LOL

  • No, rubbing the arm/putting a band around it does. Alcohol is to clean it to avoid infection.

  • fucking retard

  • are you talkin about carlin?

  • i am talking about a fucking retarded comment

  • plus the economic crises... whoo boy!

  • Barack Obama and the war on Iraq wouldn't last five seconds with him lol

  • Bill Hicks is great, but George Carlin owns Bill!

  • "They whip out the wections--weapons..."

    I think that's the first time I've ever heard him make a mistake like that. Which only highlights how charismatic he otherwise is. lol

  • Sounds like he tossed up "Whip out the weapons" and "Wax the motherfucker."

  • wtf is that little dance thing he did at the end??? lol

  • RIP george.

  • we where tempered in raw shit!

    XD XD XD

    jajajajaja

    thank you george

  • Finally someone undersands why I don't take a shower every damb day. Unforchunetly he's dead.

  • understands.

    damn.

    unfortunately.

  • four key areas:

    arm pits,ass whole,crotch,and teeth haha he is sooo funny!

  • it's hole, not whole. whole means a lot. like a whole lot of germs.

  • whole means full, 100%. not alot.

    although it does in your example but not what he said...

    yes i actually spent some time to comment with this.

  • No, its in english. But it's better that way - you know something is always lost in translation. Especially when it comes to humor :)))

    Pozdrav i tebi :)

  • I bought his book, Napalm&Silly Putty. It's great.

    Brilliant. R.I.P George!

    Greetings from Croatia :))))

  • he takes no prisoners! RIP, he would laugh...he would say...RIP ???no way in this coffin!!!!

  • Maybe the dead fucker wants have some fun.

  • No, as in "He is No longer alive, unfortunately..."

  • you fuckin stupid asshole learn fucking english you mexican or spanish cunt goddamn people get stupider every fucking day

  • Put a sock in it, faggot.

  • well I guess since he managed to live to 71 his theory may still apply

  • he died from a hartattack not germs so you my friend can bend over zip open your pants and try to suck yourself and if you cant youll never get sucked caus your a fucking nerd.

  • you sir are the one that can suck my dick

  • Theres no thumbs down.

  • Prooves that you're just another lame people that has nothing to do.

  • true! i take chances in life. i agree! rip george!

  • "It needs to practice . It needs germs to practice on" - So true ! . -btw is he still alive ? :(

  • r.i.p.

  • these fucking pussies thats funny!

  • Genius.... although I'd add FEET to the areas of washing.

  • take a fuckin chance...

  • over cleanliness and sanitation = allergies

  • EXACTLY!!!! No one seems to realize that allergies are the body not being used to shit.

  • Its best if you use the same brush on all 4 places... LOL

  • Absolutely true, Juci. It's self-inoculation, and we do it as children, it's natural and our body knows it.

  • Being too clean is bad, because it lowers your immune system. It's even worst when adults tell kids to be clean, because that's when you want your kids to be exposed to germs all the time, to make them stronger. Too bad most americans don't know this. Which could explain the increasing amount of people getting cancer. The immune system too weak. And before anyone start whining "There is more to it." I know that cancer is more complex than just weak system. Anyways Carlin was/is the man. Peace.

  • Whether you have a strong immune system or not, it won't fight back the cancer since it only fights bodies that aren't part of your own, and cancer is one of your cells dividing uncontrollably, thus being part of your body.

    The reason that would explain why more people are getting cancer is because people are eating too well. Back when people didn't have access to so much food, they wouldn't get cancer as often because the cancerous cells wouldn't have enough resources to keep dividing...

  • ...and eventually they die.

    Actually, cancer is simplier than you might think; it's just a cell dividing uncontrollably.

    In fact, the cure for cancer is as simple; since cells rely on resources/food to divide, starve it. In other words, don't eat. Consume enough to keep yourself alive, but not enough for the cancer.

  • Wow, are u for real. Ur comment is one of the stupidest I've ever read. You think the cancer cells wait till normal cells are nourished before taking food from the bloodstream. Get a load of this fool. He thinks the cure for cancer is dieting. Wtf is wrong with you. Maybe I'm going overboard but Jebus, ur dumb.

  • Calling me names like a kid in the playground won't make you any more right. I assume you have misinterpreted something since you think I believe some sort of incorrect facts.

    Talking about facts, I wouldn't have said this if I wouldn't have heard about what a researcher have done. It worked for him. Apparently, no one else has done it, so my argument still stands.

  • 'In fact, the cure for cancer is as simple; since cells rely on resources/food to divide, starve it. In other words, don't eat. Consume enough to keep yourself alive, but not enough for the cancer. '

    That is a direct quote from you from a few pages back.

    If cancer cells die from lack of food then how come when people are at the brink of death from cancer and havnt been eating properly for weeks then why do the cancer cells not die?

    You're talking bullshit.

  • hahaha plus doctors proscribe weed so the patient can eat lol

    there will never be a cure for cancer unless they can predict its next mutating stage

  • Never got a vaccine (At least when i had a choice) I only get 1 disease a year and it does the biological equivalent of LOITERING

  • Vaccin is basically that you get injected with a small dose of the virus and then your immune system kills it and "remembers" it so it can kill it again if it gets introduced into your system. And thats basically what dear George is talking about. Training the immune system.

  • George carlin, time traveler?

  • Comedic genius.

  • "use the same brush on all four areas" yuck. LOL

  • i dont use hand sanitized, take 5 showers a week, which is not that much compared to other people, i never wash my hands and i never got sick for 10 years

  • Take a fucking chance!I never was sick with food posioning in my life,well not yet.Thats becuase I had a strong immune system to kick its ass.Everyone and their fear of germs.

  • well said!!!! ive ate undercooked meat abd swam in durty river and lakes and all tht shit andd ive never once got sick!!

  • the good thing is that he has left his legacy

  • i miss him---legend.

  • He was Murdered By NWO

  • I know this is a stupid question but is he dead

    ??

  • yes he is dead, and its a damn shame

  • Funny as hell

  • HAHA! Yes!

  • I don't wash my hands unless I shit on them, either, haha.

  • The swab thing is kind of an old joke that you hear at a campfire...

  • He didn't.

  • ye

    oops

  • this is not just a comedy act, its true that your immune system needs "practice".

  • It's not just "practice"; whenever your body comes into contact with an alien microbe white blood cells called Macrophages actually eat them, then take them apart and learn exactly what they are and how to beat them. After that, the knowledge is spread around your body and you can never be infected by that same microbe again.

  • armpits asshole crouch and teeth

  • lol @ Carlin!

  • carlin is right- as least, as far as my own experience can confirm it. i NEVER take prescription drugs or pills and i NEVER get sick. well, i had a 24 hour virus 9 years ago. meanwhile, my brother and sister both take all kinds of prescriptions and they are ALWAYS getting sick. DARE to keep americans off prescription drugs :)

  • George Carlin- tempered in raw shit! Now I know why he is so funny rofl!

  • One of our greatest Philosopher-Comedians.

  • people shouldnt avoiud germs, or else they will be highly vunerable to diseases.

  • I love this man. I hope he's telling jokes up in heaven now.

  • George Carlin and heaven is like fire and water

  • screw you man, this guy's a true hero and legend

  • I just said that he is a total opposite of religion, because it's true. I love G.C.

  • he saved 112 lives during the September 11 attacks.

  • Huh linux you apparently didn't watch his last show and what he thinks about heaven.

  • the 4 key areas you should always keep clean armpits asshole crotch and teeth RIP George Carlin 1937-2008

  • ur right...he just means the fear of germs...what u do is out of logic, not fear

  • absolutely brilliant, and true! I almost never get sick myself, and I don't take any special precautions either! These germophobes are the ones who are doomed! go out and live life, get dirty, take a risk every now and then, and have fun!

  • lmfao well said Vodeo, i haven't been sick in years and i never take precautions.

    R.I.P Carlin

  • This guy's bloody brilliant and totally right, in supermarkets I pick up food that's fallen on the floor and eat it, me and my mates used to have cow shit fights, ooooh and i wash my arse with my hand and then eat with the same hand without washing it. And my friends that live squeaky clean lives get sick a lot more often and for longer than i ever do. i also wander around on freezing nights in shorts,tshirt barefeet, and even go swimming in the cold water. that lifestyle just makes me stronger.

  • Buncha fuckin pussies.

  • my sister and i are going to add a "HNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGHH" segment to this video. For great justice of course.

    George Carlin is NOT in hell.

  • Yeah, he's dead. No big deal to him but we'll miss him and the religious robots will always find something to talk about.

  • I used to be a germophobe. Don't see much point in it anymore, though. Germs are everywhere, and what makes people sick is the stress that weakens your immune system because they're afraid of getting sick. Imagine that.

  • George is without doubt "tempered in raw shit".

    This guy just had to die two weeks after I discovered him, isn't that just typical?

  • I was fortunate enough to see him live.

  • I hate you and respect you at the same time.

  • One day, germs will start being resistant to whatever we used to cleanse ourselves

  • He's great

  • my white blood cells DON'T FUCK AROUND!

    First defense- BAM! INTO THE COLON YOU GO!

  • HAHA 3:50 is awesome :D

  • Well, from a medical perspective he nailed it perfectly: e.g. the rise of allergies and other nasty stuff seems to be directly related to non-hardened immune systems in overprotected "germ-deficient" kiddos. So better take those little buggers and drop them in a sewer every now and then. They'll thank you for it later ... ;-)

  • ...This is not only hillarious, it is very true. Germ fannatics and hypocondriacs have immune systems for shit. Those of us that just live and breath, seem healthier, cause every new little virus can't take us over.

  • lol i jst love it how he sais, "fear of germs, why these fucking pussys"

  • lol i love it how he sais, "fear of germs, why these fucking pussys"

  • "None of this three strikes and your out shit" lol. too funny

  • Oh I love this guy :)

  • One problem with "having a strong immune system"... is it'll all mean nothing if you get an organ transplant. Because the reason why your organ transplant isn't being destroyed, is because the white blood cells are chilling.

    Heh, then again, that's a very small chance, which is just another case of "unfortunate"

  • haha, i get the feeling george carlin would consider organ transplantees as to have already hit the bucket anyway :))