Billy Connolly - Sea Life

[DaiMasters]

The Hobbit Movies are going to be sooooo Good because of this man.

[curtarmmar]

Connolly is such a legend, such a laugh

[09newfiechick]

My friend told me about Billy Connolly and i havent looked back since......by far the best comedian in the world!!......Never get sick of hearing him!!!

[RandomerIAm]

@09newfiechick him tommy tiernan and darragh o briain are the best 3 to me :D

[Shyyrn]

His simpleton sounds an awful lot like a Gumby from Monty Python. X)

[bull1arab]

Ha Ha he has practised a simpleton under water. Hilarious.

[bull1arab]

I'll get killed by a shark once they learn how to walk on land.

[Afishyfish1]

Im a South Australian resident, and he's not that far off being spot on.

Ive got a 15ft boat and had GWs the same size come past for a look

[1984LizardKing]

The fuckin' Stein meter.

[nonmatterMATTERS]

for fuck sake

[kermitek91]

that was some good underwater talk

[SONGSTICKS]

Good ol Billy.

Still my favourite comedian

[surreyduck]

@SONGSTICKS oh yes billy conolly forever

[evomination]

Here, have a wee stand.

[Ch1spy4]

0.0147% dislike this video, Win for a good video! :D

[hllbrngr1220]

I did that when I went diving cept I was walking around as well instead of swimming

[ShadowPheonix12]

i had to watch the punchline again because i had my eyes closed from intense laughter the first time. :D

[StEaLtHmAcHiNe95]

great amount of respect first to billy and secondly to everyone who died in the 9/11 attacks, R.I.P my thoughts are with you all, if you reading this and wondering why i brought that up, look at how long this video is.. thumbs up to show respect

[ltdpro4life]

@StEaLtHmAcHiNe95 omg really man?? fucking get over it

[StEaLtHmAcHiNe95]

@ltdpro4life mate, i'm just being polite and respectful, unlike you, you fucking inbred cunt

[SONGSTICKS]

@StEaLtHmAcHiNe95

I wrote a song about 9/11 and performed it at a concert for world peace.

Unbeknown to me at the time, the concert was being recorded, so I made a youtube vid for it. It's called "Under the moon and the Sun". Check it out, see what you think?

Cheers

[veerleke]

"bunch of cedrics" wahahahaha. Probably them scubadivers pomps who were watching this were thinking..oh yeah, yes, yes yes, indeed, hahaha, dead on, heheh- WHUT?

[danceoutnow]

"Hello......I'm a stone you can stand on me if ya like...." hahaha

[buttnine]

@danceoutnow luv to see you after ya had encounter whith stonefish

[AlgisKemezys]

Great and then some.

[Noot64]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,i cant stop laughing watching this.

[KATHRYN10675]

Laugh so hard I had tears coming out

[LunaMoonJune]

laughter ~ adds joy to your day ~ years to your life ~ Billy ~ does it all #5lines

[TheAlgonquinator]

Neurotoxin gets in you when you get stung by a stonefish. Having your nerves melted into liquid shit has to be the most painful sting ever. Stonefish also happen to be the most venomous fish.

[gettingahandle]

The creature from the peat bog

[hllbrngr1220]

Slice the jellyfish into a million pieces, the million bits come after you

[ThorArise1]

18 people were simpletons from the village.

[Imphipis]

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!...

[IBekeI]

@Imphipis stung by a box jellyfish?

[deathkightt]

"Splosh!" xD

[dazzerman12]

any1 noticed the time on this vid is 911?

[AyeYirMa]

@dazzerman12 So?

[dazzerman12]

@AyeYirMa do you know what 9/11 is because you must be pretty fucking stupid if you dont

[AyeYirMa]

@dazzerman12 Don't insult my intelligence. Who cares if the time is 9/11? It's just a coincidence, there's no point in trying to draw peoples attention to that, do you go around pointing out videos that are 19.39? Since that's when WW2 started or other important dates?

[dazzerman12]

@AyeYirMa yea but paki's killed american people on 9/11 and the americans diserved it the bastards

[AyeYirMa]

@dazzerman12 I said I knew what happened on 9/11. You racist idiot.

[dazzerman12]

@AyeYirMa i dont care, the americans diserve to die a horrible horrible death

[AyeYirMa]

@dazzerman12 Please shut up, I'm done with this. Don't bring political fucking arguments to videos that have nothing to do with whatever it is you wanna talk about. And for god's sake learn to spell, it's 'deserve' not 'diserve'.

[gartnavel89]

@dazzerman12

My dad's birthday - November 9th

[Viperstar131]

"I think it's a German device" "oh yeah it would be German." haha oh billy.

[mb62011]

The Ricky Gervais Show + Billy Connolly = Non-Stop Laughter

(Make this happen RICKY!!!)

[kkly27]

I fell off my bike once LMFAO

[Hellcat040369]

I'm sure I was shagged there. Priceless!!

[icametorock1]

@AndSoItWillBe all the more reason to not swim in the ocean. especially in austrailia. there goes my dream of swimming at the great barrier reef. hmmm carry lots of vinegar should be all right

[TheRazorKitten]

@icametorock1

don't forget the tights! :)

[icametorock1]

@TheRazorKitten yea those too.

[TheKaerius]

@icametorock1 Actually stonefish aren't much of a danger when swimming/scuba diving, just keep an eye where you put your hands when doing the latter(you won't get close enough when swimming). It's walking in the shallows that's the dangerous part.

[icametorock1]

@AndSoItWillBe you had me up until cytolytic. but if i'm intrepreting you right stonefish poison hits you twice. and keeps uh ummm burning?

[icametorock1]

stepping on a stonefish hurts worse than a hit to the birds nest?

[adripantsonfire]

i like his stonefish voice.

[randomguyfan27]

@WiseMonkey888 haha hes just de king of stand up , ive never met someone who didnt like him

[randomguyfan27]

ay its gotta be german hahaa

[planetsareoverrated]

the audience is very weak

[xXBasskidXx]

2:59 looks like the godfather

[SistaPidge]

I keep laughing no matter how many times I watch this. He's my hero.

[craigfromnewcastle]

@SistaPidge

me too :D

I love his simpleton voice when he's laughing hehehe

[shcnoozlebop]

lol about the box-jellyfish and tights and vinegar - i'm from townsville.

[shadowstalker1120]

The Fuckenstein Meter... I'm gonna die laughing

[SVWillmer]

got carried away watching this let my bath overflow lol

[thomasl12345]

17 people were german

[xLCB1975x]

@thomasl12345 i took no offence,he`s fuckin brilliant

[edzick917]

Oh god I have not laughed this hard in a long time - Needed that!

[thomasl12345]

0.53 aahahhahahahha

[kevinpnp]

omg i think i just died laughing then came back.

[brienroberts]

17 people were simpletons

[nortel1994]

6:50, I pee'd a little

[woodsy542]

"we'll get a simpleton from the village...."

[VideoAdventurer]

LOL I love Billy connolly! Hey, pause at 7:07 its a great shot XD

[MrComatost]

Saw him live 2 weeks ago in Halifax, NS...busted a gut

[TheJennao]

I love how he even makes himself laugh! Adore billy connolly!

[darkkrenify]

worse than pissing kidne stones

[MetalHead420100]

why have i never watched his standup!! fuckin halarious

[bassface461]

Big Yin- best comedian ever......makes me proud to b Scottish :D

[Hysteria98]

I'm glad this guy won 1st on 100 Greatest Stand-Ups 2010, hard not to love him.

[GuyThatCreepy]

hello...im a stone...u can stand on me if u like

[bobrock1982]

I just love it how he entertaines himself and laughs :D great guy

[tf2iscoolasoplayit]

funn fact : the conch shell can kill u in under 4 mins

[ProtestantIRA]

As of 2008 Billy Connolly is the funniest comedian on the planet. Why sicne 2008? That was the year we lost George Carlin. But I'm sure George would be pleased with his successor.

[mrmojohasrisen]

@ProtestantIRA thats if carlin was the best but i dont think he was i think its just been billy since the late 80s right through.carlin was amazing i mean the guy was a philosopher too and stuff but when i think of billys best compared to carlins i dont think carlins is better.billys best i think is hammersmith apollo 91+94,belfast 06 australia 07 this one here and i just cant see anything better than them.but carlin-definetley one of the best for sure,class.

[jonnyrisas]

i love when he stands still like he was at a bus stop in the water.....and the people passing ain't really sure wether they are seeing it or not.....like wtf?....just standing there..i have to try that scooba diving if i have the chance

[concam28]

oh fur ....ahh

[LegendOfJomtein]

It's so funny when he screams!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ihartmetal]

you were in A series of Unfortunate events

[Anthony8091]

your arse in 1 fucking bite lol

[bamboosa]

Billy and John Cleese are beginning to resemble one another. No, really.

[Ecofreak96]

@bamboosa

Aren't they?!

I thought it was just me!

[davemelnick]

@bamboosa Yea.. I thought he was 1 & the same. ;)

[YorkGod]

No other better comeidan

[Iszapszemu]

Brilliant!

[TravellingMan79]

Simply brilliant

[minimeproductionz]

i think its a German device..lmao

[BVOcean]

5:20 :L:L:L:L

[ozzymoto27]

14 peeps missed the "like" button. Stuck up, self righteous knuckleheads. lol

[blackwolf891]

Christ, this man is a fucking genius!! Go, Billy!!

[inhand07]

He talks about Glenelg... Was this show in Adelaide?

[TrueAgnosticMetal]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ToryMagoo44]

You are a riot! Your stories ....perfect~! Thanks for the laughs :)

[Sypher782]

so lemme get this straight... the pain-o-meter goes like this:

ouch

what the fuck was that?!

jesus christ!

SWEET FUCKIN' MOTHER OF JESUS!!!

agony

worst pain known to man

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU­UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU­UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU­UUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!­!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[monsieurhassan]

this guy is fuckin funnneeeeeeee

[oODrGreenThumbOo]

@monsieurhassan, WTF is "FUNE"?

[monsieurhassan]

@oODrGreenThumbOo It means hilarious, piss-your-pants laughter inducing humor, . . ... ohh and don't confuse it with the word "funny", that's another word, peace!

[tuftybox1821]

Billy Connolly is the only comedian who can make me literally cry with laughter. A real comic genius, and a real artist.

[mummabusrider]

just loooove this man so much, I know he swears waay too much but I just find him honestly the funniest person I have ever heard. Would love to have a beer or two with this guy, well done Billy, come back soon!

[alcoyot]

damn, I want to memorize this whole routine.

[johnnystevens1975]

I laughed so hard i nearly shat. Top of my "Blokes i'd like to have a pint with" list.

[mmmmiiiirrrroooo]

he was talkin about alcohol and its effects when he was talkin about the meter and all....very smart man this guy

[SsHar0ld]

lol Id LOVe to see a dual ticket show featuring Billy Connolly and Eddie izzard --they almost seem `related` somehow....lol

[TumFlumBlackMetal]

billy is my hero,he always makes me shit my pants laughing...good man and he is funny as fuck....

he is the funniest man i have ever seen...good show

[abruemmer77]

funniest man known to man.

[k1ngross]

@abruemmer77 how did they measure that?

[nojoek152]

@abruemmer77 how do you know. do you laugh alot?

[abruemmer77]

@nojoek152

look, there is a german device called "Vergnügensmesser" and everytime i watch Connolly this thing goes absolutely nuts. see?

[itsaguinness]

the funniest man alive

[YuraCura2006]

@itsaguinness

ABSOLUTELY!! He's awesome! XD

[Bogdybossz]

i dont know you... a friend gaved me the link of this vid :) i think ur an asshole

[frooooooot]

Scotland is a country lol. As are England and Wales, each to their own. They (alongside Northern Ireland) create the UK (United Kingdom of GB and NI).

Scotland is a country, just not a completely independent one. It has its borders, language, currency (although economically equal to the GBP sterling) etc, just like any other. In the end, technically it still is a country.

Please keep your opinions on Scotland to yourself, or retaliate any further (English, myself).

Anyway, long live BC :D

[BellaXTC]

lol he's a tripper :P legend

[cfcweejonny1]

@TheTubeRuler2009 u cant say scotland is racist and be as racist as u look at ur recent activity all you do is go onto scottish videos and sad bad things .......sad ( btw dont leave a comment on my grammer cos that all u have to say back )

[flyagaric23]

The deeper you go, the weirda' it gets" --Billy

[chommy]

honestly what the fuck are all you idiots talking about, shut the fuck up.

ON topic, billy connoly is a legend. <3

[NatalyaNeidhart]

hilarious! hahaha :D XD

[MoOsHw]

I have to admit australia is filled with pricks, im an aussie and i can admit that caus ive lived here since i was shat out! ive never been to india but it seems like a nice place, at least it aint filled with fuckin posers, emos and surfer pricks...

[spikearchie]

@MoOsHw never box above you weight..!

[bigrider2806]

@MoOsHw every assie i have met have been great people. got a lot of time for the aussies. always been at our side when theres a fight on the go !

[wolfspiret395]

i agree birdrider2806

im aussie and freeking synkronyk and MoOsHw should bloody use their head

i have taken what they have bothe said as an offence!!! what they say is a bunch bull****!

[synkronyk]

fucking idiot.

Everywhere is filled with pricks, australia is no different you stupid fucking moron.

[wolfspiret395]

@synkronk

i take that as offence ya fucked bastard! im asutralain ya dumb fuck and were not filled of pricks we have some pricks, use ya fucking head! DX

[synkronyk]

fuck you dumb cunt.

Yes, we're filled with pricks of varying magnitudes. TO think any different is moronic. But everywhere is also filled with pricks of varying degrees. I don't give a fuck if you're offended or not. I'm Australian too, the only difference is that I've got the balls to tell it how it is.

BTW, tellign me i'm fucked and thinking its a bad insult is only indicative of how little pussy you get.

[popjoeandco]

@synkronyk

More in Aus though. Generally you are an arrogant race

[synkronyk]

1. australian is not a race dumb cunt, it is a nationality.

2. You're fucking clueless and apparently willingly so. That's worse.

[popjoeandco]

This is what I'm talking about. Arrogant and agro

Everywhere has pricks, that's a fact. Australia just seems to have more than usual

Very racist country aswell. I don't want to sound like I've a vendetta against Aus(I have some very good Aussie mates) but from my experience of living there they are very intolerant of other nationalities and are openly racist

[synkronyk]

bullshit.

If you think this place is racist you're out of your fucking mind.

Yes there are racist people here, but no more so than places like china and india, and definitely not more than places like england or europe.

What do you define as usual you pathetic bottom feeder??

[popjoeandco]

If you can't see Aus is more racist than most developed country's you are blind, seriously.

I've been to England and most of the UK and they are definitely more tolerant of ethnic minorities than Australians. Walk around London and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Oh and keep your insults coming, they really are making you look quite intelligent!

[synkronyk]

It's hilarious that a moron like yourself would continue on with this nonsense.

Racist violence is significantly worse in the UK, london especially.

Australia is definitely NOT a racist country, we're just intolerant of fucking morons like yourself, regardless of skin colour or accent.

[popjoeandco]

Type in 'Australia racist' in youtube search

Think it says it all really. Not a fan of Indians are you?

[synkronyk]

I have no problem whatsoever with indians. Fuckwit.

There's no proof that those attacks in melbourne were racially motivated, regardless of the claims of the australian or the indian media.

Kiil yourself fuckwit, do the world a favour,.

[popjoeandco]

Ha ok buddy, whatever let's you sleep at night

[synkronyk]

you're a moron.

1 of the "attacks" has just been proved to be an insurance job by the indian who claimed he was set alight by 3 attackers.

Other attacks have been committed by asain gangs, and some by pacific islander groups, and some by similar idiots who are white.

And yet you claim that all white Australians, and all Australians are racist as a whole??

Get educated you fucking peon before you continue to make bullshit comments like this.

[popjoeandco]

Who said Australians as a whole are racist? Your making up things now.

I said in comparison to other developed countries there are more racists in Aus

That's only 1 of the indian cases your talking of, there is a hell of a lot more than that. I saw it with my own eyes when I lived in Aus

You or your circle of mates mightn't be racist but that shouldn't cloud your judgment on the rest of the country. It gets worse the further inland you go, I found

[310sucks]

I've spend a lot of time in the UK too, my friend and I've found this:

1. The Brits are just as racist, if not more, they just know to keep their opinions in a bitter ball inside them.

2. A great majority of Brits are proud and jealous of Australia's out-in-the-open racism. They wish thats how Britain still was. A few even move to Oz because of it.

[gangtsagibbo]

Mate your a fucking idiot, "brits move to austrailia because its more racist"?

yeah good one you silly prick

[310sucks]

Clever and well thought out rebuttal. You've sure put me in place. Come back when you actually have something to contribute.

[gangtsagibbo]

shut up you fucking goon, who gives a shit anyway if people in country are racist, clearly you aint so what do you care

[StinkyKnobcheese]

@popjoeandco How long have you been a racist?

[popjoeandco]

@StinkyKnobcheese

How does stating that there are more racists in Aus than there are in other liberal countries somehow make me a racist?

I think you're a bit confused

[StinkyKnobcheese]

@popjoeandco

The fact that 45% of the Australian population is minorities means that you are calling them racist too which makes you a racist.

From the above figures we can also deduce that Australia is one of the least racist countries on earth. So you comments are basically just rubbish.

[popjoeandco]

"The fact that 45% of the Australian population is minorities means that you are calling them racist too which makes you a racist."

I really think you need to go and learn what racism is. What you said makes no sense. How does calling someone racist equate to me being a racist?

[Rommeljnr]

@popjoeandco Ahhh your clearly the one that doesnt know what makes a person a racist. Making unfounded generalisations about a a group of people wether by skin coulour, race or country makes a person a racist. Hence you NASA rocket scientist you to are a racist. Have you ever been to Australia let alone meet every Australian ? I very much doubt it , but you know for a fact every or even most Australians are racist ??? Definition of hypocrite = YOU.

[popjoeandco]

@Rommeljnr

I've lived in Aus for over a year. I found that there were more racist people and slander against minorities by locals than anywhere else I've visited in the developed world. I'm just calling a spade a spade here(No pun intended!)

Most Australians are not racist, I never said they were. I'm just saying it's far more accepted in Australian culture to be racist than inother countries with similar standards of living

[maxstanton1]

@StinkyKnobcheese

equate...deduce? ye two makin up word or wat hahahaha

[StinkyKnobcheese]

@maxstanton1 or wat

No, no I can safely say we are not making up words lol

[zagan1]

@popjoeandco

What a load of BS.

Talk about walking around with jaded eyes and being blind to everything going on around you.

[2pintsplease]

Good on ya mate ;)

[RosesofWillows]

@MoOsHw

hey....that sounds alot like the U.S! it's good to know that their if another place with equally s**tty socialites. ^_^........-_-

[popjoeandco]

@MoOsHw

I've travelled the World and I have to say I agree with you. Aussie guys in particular are up themselve assholes

Obviously that's a generalisation and there are really nice genuine people there but I think Australia has more dickheads than most developed country's

[1JimiJames1]

haha i felt a terrible uh!

[spikearchie]

not many funny folk from Australia..

r soles....

[jacobite451]

@spikearchie what does that mean ?? how long have you spent here? what a stupid thing to say.