Added: 3 years ago
From: TheOnion
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  • Great job onion exposing Osama. I can't believe he wants to keep these jobs here and sends all the good ones overseas. What a complete jackass. He will not be getting my vote next year after this story. He fooled us all in 2008 but not again in 2012.

  • @youbestbequiet I think you mean Obama.

  • @1996caitlin Nope, Osama. He changed his name to Obama after moving here from Kenya after he was born there.

  • naah let the shitty jobs go.

    keep the good jobs over here.

  • Long live a nation of uneducated , unschooled ,untrained ,illiterate, unread ,ingorant,ill informed , uncouth ,backwards,loutish,dense , dumb,pea-brained

    populace.May you and your children be forever sentenced to bondage slavery.

  • I want a presidant that can make sure that my son can have a shitty job

  • Meh.  The Onion could never say anything negative about Obama.

  • I'm Commander Shepard and I approve of this message.

  • A boat will usually rock back and forth before it sinks

  • even the shitty jobs are gone!

  • search local jobs online careerstarttoday.info got an interview tomorrow

  • And you're dumber than Forrest Gump if you seriously think America can just isolate itself from the rest of the world economically. Fact of the matter is globalization will happen regardless. It's the government's job to be creative and make this country business friendly to spur innovation. Innovation creates jobs and new markets. Once we stop innovation we're all screwed.

  • @jpete3027666 Nah, just go with the tea party, vote Pailin and go out with a bang.

  • People need to stop blaming the president for their problems. If you're out of work, go to school and get a new skill to get a new job. There's plenty of jobs out there. People just want to be assured they can do a menial job that will pay $30/hr that they can do for the next 30 years and retire with a pension. That isn't happening anymore and there's nothing the prez can do about that.

  • Yeah he promised us change, so where is our change maybe he meant a chain.. because he is leaving us with nothing but change in our pockets...

  • "New genealogy websites helping users trace their ancestry back to some bullshit king" - LOL

  • to hell with the government

  • Plenty of jobs reside here in America. Just check out USA Job Blast for the latest jobs across the USA.

  • Once our credit is destroyed everybody is gonna wish they had a shitty job.

  • Mike Rowe will be happy

  • the shitty job guy is rockin his polo tee, where did he get that money? so bro

  • Osama is not dead. Maybe he is. I want to see the body. Obama wants to be re-elected. This is a ploy. Please don't be fooled.

    RON PAUL 2012!!!

  • @72281livefreeordie

    Thank You!!! Someone else gets it!!!

  • @Kfowlkes09 I'm afraid not enough people are smart in order to figure that little detail out though.

  • @72281livefreeordie

    I know a few people, even here in the south, that would vote for Ron Paul; the dream is still alive!

  • @Kfowlkes09 I'm a northerner. Always have been. I'm in New Jersey. People up here are very self absorbed and could give two shits about anything. You can tell that I'm not quite popular. lol.

  • lol, stone cold steve austin

  • we force business owners to pay 3 times as much as anyone else in the world and complain theres no jobs to be have, you can't have your cake and eat it too people!

  • @allwittynamestaken Oh go out and create a business. Then when it's successful fire all your employees during Christmas. All so you can outsource all their jobs to countries that don't really like us. Then pay those foreigners pennies on the dollar and keep them in sweat shop conditions so you can make even more money. Then raise prices in your home stores to make even more money off an economy you help to collapse. Oh wait, sounds like you already did that...

  • @ChameleonLost88 you act like Americans deserve some kind of special priority over other nationalities. Humans are humans flag waver!

  • @allwittynamestaken LOL, what in the world are you even talking about?? I was making a sarcastic point about how you are defending corrupt corporations because people want to make a decent wage in a high priced economy. Nothing you said in your reply makes any sense to the topic you brought up in the first place and my first reply....

  • @ChameleonLost88 I'm simply pointing out that you seem to believe corporations are "corrupt" because they don't give jobs to overly expensive Americans and instead give them to people who actually NEED them more then we do! I don't understand why you seem to think companies should forgo profit just because of some nationalistic ideology.

  • @allwittynamestaken Well I completely disagree with you. More importantly Osama Bin Laden Is Dead!!!

  • @ChameleonLost88 Celebration time!

  • I actually think The Onion is a more reliable news source than FOX news.

  • How the hell do they keep a straight face?

  • don't want a shitty job? get good grades, fucktards

  • Comment removed

  • @15padawaag Chaos? Where? Are you stupid? Yeh I know he hasn't done a good job, but where the hell are you getting your delusional and over-exaggerating info from? Get back to reality.

  • Dam it They Took R Jobs....!

  • @METALMAN4Wii THEY TOOK HIS JOB!!!

  • are we this mentally deficient? we complained about crap jobs goin overseas, and how the mexicans come in and take em. and now somebody's trying to get em back, and people are going to complain about them being shitty? wow, just wow. f this country. what kind of jobs did people think were being out sourced?

  • apparently jobs are shitty XD

  • about time america *tries to stop giving shitty jobs overseas to China, Cambodia, etc

  • lol :)

  • It's nice to see dipsh*ts discussing the validity of the points in an Onion piece. Keep up the good work stupids!

  • They tooeek oer jobbs! Dirka durr........

  • "In DC, transsexuals protest at capitol for right to be treated like any other monsters"

  • I agree with the person who said that attaching seats to lawn tractors is not a shitty job. Those jobs are absolutely necessary and you are making a tangible product, unlike office workers like me. Not everything can be autiomated. Personally, I would go crazy if I had to do the same set of tasks day after day, month after month, I would hope there is some sort of rotation process to help these employees keep from becoming mindless drones!

  • This is so right on it is pathetic having one shitty job after another... The white house has made sure all the good jobs are gone and all the shitty jobs remain...........waahoooooo

  • @braggville the white house doesn't tell business' where to do business, that whole freedom thing, complain at the american companies that set up factories in other countries because its cheaper and people in america don't want to see billowing black smoke coming from factories, mills, and mines. (its called being green and it doesn't create jobs) want a job so bad join the military or a federal job. only job market the white house does control.

  • "i would like to guarantee that my son will get a shitty job"

    LMAO

  • This is somewhat off. I like the Onion usually, but manufacturing jobs are GOOD JOBS. Working at a restaurant, as a clerk at a GAP, bagging groceries, not to mention as a soldier for the Empire waiting to get slaughtered meaninglessly overseas...those are SHITTY JOBS!!! It is right at the end, telemarketing is pretty damn shitty, too.

  • @maxime32 Team Obama represents the rich of the so-called new economy. The Repugs represent the rich of the old economy. Both are fit to shovel elephant or donkey spit from one place to another.

  • @maxime32 yeah and i'm sure they know that, but it's a joke remembah?

  • @maxime32 Hey I bag groceries!

  • @maxime32 Don't be a fucking retard. This was hilarious!

  • what a joke. it's supposed to be funny, but damn. People really want a job. I know some folks around here would kill for a job screwing seats to lawnmowers.

  • they tookeryobs!!!!

  • Shitty job = Shitty pay = Shitty life. Ah Shit!!

  • A shitty job is better than no job!

  • FAKE!

  • Funny how the onion always has a sliver of truth in it. Hows that hope and change working out?

  • This is too funny :L

  • America's heartland extends from Indiana to Ohio?

  • fucking ads

  • There is no end to this. Companies have the upper hand, and always will.

  • I have a shitty job, I used to have a good one. The President hasn't done much to even increase shitty jobs. Funny clips people, but jobs are something we need, and still to many are out of work.

  • eat shit ubangee, commie, muslim, dick sucking illegal alien.

  • These comments are kind of like watching a Unicorn fucking a Leprechaun. Makes about as much sense in reality as someone defending Nixon in the comment section of an Onion video. About as thought provoking as an episode of Jerry Springer.

  • 163 people expected an insult in this comment

  • 162 people still havnt got a shitty job :/

  • Comment removed

  • Long life to the free market!

  • mean girls 2..?..... i think i will shoot my self now.

  • Obama needs Shitty air lines Under payed workers and pilot s

  • ITS 2011 AND where are the jobs? FUCK OBAMA

  • @SPIDERx144 Obama didn't cause any of this. He inherited the problems that Bush was too big of a pussy and a downright retard to fix. Fuck you, ignorant republican hick. Go watch your FOX news and continue to believe the lies that are shoved up your asshole.

  • @Grizzlo503 What? Are you a typical-uneducated dumb fuck? Bush is long time over. Obama is systematically making what Bush started worse/ creating his own problems. And I suppose a fucking retard like yourself believes that his new healthcare system will "help America" or that his 1.4 trillion dollar spending will save us! You must be a welfare humping faggot, you pig. I dare you to reply, fucker.

  • @Grizzlo503 But then again, a stupid democrat-coward such as yourself who is armed with zero facts, but loves to insult wouldn't even comment. It's so cute! Take a hint: Obama fucked this country more, than the RepubliFAGS could ever. Democrats are worse than Republicans.

  • @Grizzlo503 At least the Republicans had good presidents like Reagan and Nixon. You, on the other hand, died after that retard Kennedy, who nearly got us into a nuclear war. His VP, Johnson was the beginning of a long list of monsters like Jimmy Carter. Among the worst, however, was Johnson.

  • @Tyco200 Do you really have that pathetic of a life? Sitting on youtube all day and searching for comments that you don't like? You're just a sad, ignorant fool. Bush is "long time over" BECAUSE OBAMA WAS ELECTED. He inherited Bush's problems is what I said, and it's the truth, I don't know how else I can reiterate that so a simpleton like you can understand it. Also, I'm literally laughing my ass off at the fact that you think Nixon was a good president. Have you heard of the WATER GATE SCANDAL

  • @Grizzlo503 What? For one, I don't "spend my life on youtube." But I guess you do, seeing how you replied to my comment. And yes, now Obama is the one causing most of the problems. He raised our national dept to 1.4 trillion +, has not taken our soldiers out of Iraq yet, is proceeding to help the illegals get into this nation, and Obama care costs more than the original healthcare system... I also see that you have not stated a single fact in your comment. Nothing but pathetic insults... Nice.

  • @Grizzlo503 Also, Nixon actually cleaned Lyndon's mess in Vietnam. Lyndon Baines Johnson was the democratic version of Bush... He literally ruined our economy, got us into a pointless war, did a number of war crimes abroad and had nearly destroyed our country. Meanwhile, Nixon helped keep the economy in balance, helped get us out of Vietnam almost immediately, and helped establish peaceful relations between China and the USSR. Something Johnson would never do. :) Watergates = a simple mistake.

  • @Grizzlo503 So, who has the pathetic life now? The guy who can actually state facts based on history, and actually takes the time to learn real education rather than how-to-put a condom on a pickle, or the guy who spends his time whining about how Obama is the savior, and about how I am a "Pathetic scum of the earth" and about how "Nixon was bad all around!" Keep the comments coming! You only make yourself look worse. :P Dumbass.

  • @Tyco200 You know, it's possible to reply to an idiot with facts without coming off as smug and arrogant.

  • @SPIDERx144 obama didn't cause any of this mess so don't get mad at him. People need to realize things wont happen overnight- jobs are SLOWLY returning, it took time for our previous president to help fuck us over, itll take time for the obama administration to straighten it out. Not to mention the economy is slowly getting better- ill admit progress is very slow but its better than it was a year, even two years before.

  • WAR ON JOBS< WAR ON TERROR< WAR ON DRUGS< WAR IN IRAQ< WAR IN ISRAEL< PROHIBITION

    The government fucks up everything nothing will ever change.

  • Stone cold steve Austin

  • Focus on manufacturing and get us on the metric system already!

  • I want a shitty job

  • @Jacquelyn104 I have one:)

  • @mediblue9 lol

  • Both sides of the job market are rigged because both are oblivious of each others problems while refusing to be acknowledged about it. If only people can just sit down and talk...(not that easy, I know)

  • this is the problem. It's probably not a shitty job. The only shitty job I can think of is one that damages you like working with chemicals, and they should receive extra benefits. I have to deserve Hell. No, that's just where i ended up, and it's not Hell. If it's deserved, they use it to take everything from you.

  • @returnoftheramble3 this is fake you dumb, dumb retard

  • @197Callum I bitch and ignore the material half of the time. I'm still annoying the prime minister or Russia because I'm the most important person in the world.

  • and we all get off at 5. It's the social nonsense that messes everything up. I'm trying to get in on their good.

  • Completely cracked up at "Lost his fucking terrible job."

  • Work is shit //

    Get over it

  • A business is about making money. Unions take 15$ an hour jobs and make them 25$ an hour jobs without regard to the market, so when a company can move to kazakstan and pay people 1$ a day without unions what would you do?

  • you wanna tha shitty beef?

    wercome to shitty airrines, takea orda preeze?

  • @D119heavy welcome to shitty wok

  • @D119heavy GOD DAM ASIANS TAKING OVER OUR SHITTY JOBS DEY TOK ER JOBS

  • @Dasconscripts DA MEXICANS!!!

  • at 1:14 the ckick in the green has a nice ass!!

  • @ruschlucas8 Good looking out on that one buddy!

  • @ruschlucas8 i dont think its a green screen. but she does have a nice ass

  • @motster246 Shes wearing a green shirt lol

  • @DreadHarper3 oh i completely misread that comment. But i guess that's what happens when you watch you tube around midnight

  • @ruschlucas8 wow to see that you must have really been looking for the tiniest hint of an ass in a clip thats about politics and comedy/satire.

  • Comment removed

  • @ruschlucas8 damn sun u right i would tap that shit

  • @ruschlucas8 good eye my friend, good eye

    

  • @ruschlucas8 you are one desperate man....lmao

  • You like marry this girls ** rockmycity.info **

  • DAMN look at that babe in the background at 1:15.

  • Do you need a shitty resume to get a shitty job?

  • Lost his terrible fucking job

    lold

  • Oh, let me through an Obama quote in real quick....

    "I will cut taxes - cut taxes - for 95 percent of all working families, because, in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle class"

    ..... Obama

    Wow

  • SHITTY JOBS BEST GOOD IS KEEPING NIGGERS, WET-BACKS, AND WHITE-TRASH BUSY AND OFF THE STREET - ALSO SUCH JOBS KEEP THE MALES OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED GROUPS OUT OF BED WITH WOMEN, WHERE THEY WOULD BREED MORE OF THEMSELVES. THINK AMERICA, WE NEED SHITTY JOBS, LET'S KEEP EM!

  • @jehovahuponyou

    And which trash are you?

  • @Thedamage26 - WHY, Thementallydamaged, I am the 'Trash Collector' - I see you have come to be picked-up!

  • @Thedamage26

    You go boy, garbage man is a beautiful career field. No wonder your so down on others making that sorta cash

  • Thanks, Airus92..... it's all about logic and common sense, not emotion.

  • fuck cnn im watching onion from now

  • on the shit job training ahahahahah

  • Obama WILL guarantee that you have NO job if he is re-elected in 2012.

  • @AreThereNoMoreNames....

    How stupid was that of the gvmnt? ( Obama) ????? Exactly, now they destroyed old cars that could have been saved or restored, at the least, donated to people in need in order to do better for themselves . No, instead , they were destroyed..... Where did all the metal go? ..... Probably China..... What about all the people with old cars and need parts? We, Americans were stupid for going along with that!! Look at the Big picture, obviously the president isn't !

  • @cmoroz215 cuz car parts are the big picture? good logic.

  • Has Obama ever been a hard worker cause I don't think he knows that some people can't afford luxuries

  • "in D.C, Transsexuals protest at Capitol for right to be treated like any other monster" xD

  • Anyone who believes in outsourcing any job is money hungry. It is really a form of modern day salvery. America was built on hard work. We used to produce so many things other countries needed which built a self preservating booming economy. I think these ppl who don't care about America, in general, never stop looking for ways to gain more money. So instead of hiring an American (with the a "real" price of living pay) they will choose to send that job to a country where work is basically free.

  • This is how TV news will be after 50 years

  • Your looking at the job market from the people who lose their jobs. The company increases productivity and jobs in a different part of there company, or reduce prices. Just because a couple hundred people lose their jobs on one part of the market don't forget about the amount of jobs created in another part of the market due to the out sourcing

  • I use to work in a foundry working next to vats of molten steel and made good money doing it. Thanks to managed trade, I mean free trade, and the EPA a man in China now does that shitty job. Thank you government for saving me from my high paying shitty job so some schmuck in China can have it at $0.25/hr.

  • Hey its true

  • I have no idea how in the hell you could keep a straight face when they say this, these actors are professional!!!!

  • the title along has me laughing for 10 minutes

  • It's especially funny because it's anything but true. After Cash-4-Clunkers, I lost my job.

  • lol, the ad

  • construction and trades, along with manufacturing and agriculture are the BACKBONE of an economy. Jobs like finance and insurance and banking are supposed to be SUPPORT jobs for the main industry. Similarily comapnies with a management structure are supposed to have that structure for the puorpose of organizing and leadership. The point is NOT that managers and directors and CEO's are the reason the company exists. They are a support structure for the WORKERS

  • american people are so stupid no other country here in europe would allow this sort of thing to happen in their countries. you dont allow tax breaks to companies that are shiping jobs that citizens within your country helped create that shortchanges your own countries economy no wonder the united states is in finacial chaos.

  • @doctorw2 You are so stupid for thinking Americans have any control over these things. Billionaires use our country as a business. They run everything. Most Americans are simply trying to feed themselves with these shitty jobs. We don't make the rules, we're just stuck with them.

  • @MrSafetymeeting where is that world famous american intiative at? all you have to do is simply organize a consummer boycott and not buy the products and goods manufactured by those companies without consummers those billionairs can not make their profits.

  • @doctorw2 Consumer boycotts happen everyday. Do you suggest nobody uses gas?Or maybe nobody should shop Walmart? People have to survive and given the same chance, the people in less fortunate countrys would do the same as the Americans they hate so much. I'm not quite sure how a boycott could possibly have effect on billionaires. Maybe they could't have that second lattee in the morning. That would show em !

  • @MrSafetymeeting you see thats the problem american people are not willing to sacrifice their creature comforts to bring about change and thats exactly why the finacial elite will always have the upper hand becuase they know the american people are too complacent and lax to do anything against them. if what was happening america now happened in my country of britian or france there would be a major public uproar.

  • @doctorw2 You see, you don't have a clue about what you are talking about. I live in a 120 square foot home and ride a bike evrywhere I can. I don't buy from anybody whos company is on my shitlist. Broad generalizations about American people just make you sound foolish. Many large grassroots groups function in America Protesting, boycotting and everything else. At the same time , many Americans still believe that fairy tail where the president has some power in government.

  • @MrSafetymeeting the entire people within your country needs to protest and boycott not just a couple thousand. if everbody in the country did not pay their mortgages shop at the major stores and didnt buy gas and demanded that your monetary system be given back to your congress instead of the federal reserve and that no tax breaks be given to those companies shiping jobs overseas i tell you the truth your economy would have a complete turn around you would have a golden age of prosperity.

  • @doctorw2 You are joking right?A complete turnaround. I actually support completely removing the people in charge but if that happens, we will be destroyed by the many countrys who hate us.I think we're probably screwed either way. There is no way in hell any whole country would ever give up food and shelter. That's simply unrealistic. The average American doesn't understand what our government has done to the monetary system.Lifes still good for most so they see no reason for revolt.

  • @MrSafetymeeting ok i guess its back to buissness as usual then your jobs being barted away piece by piece while the banks and corperations get richer while your citizens eat the crumbs from their table all the while their laughing and enjoying the high life at your expense nicking your tax dollars, taking your homes, and oh yes your social security and pension benefits are on the line as well and those that are well off now wont be for much longer.

  • @doctorw2 Social security? Taxes? I dont pay taxes. Why would Americans give up cushy lives to rebel? Never gonna happen. We'll need alot more unemployment for something like that.It's only 10% .90% of Americans have no reason to be mad. Your country is equally shitty so I've lost interest in this repetitive conversation on a comedy video. Thanks Bye

  • @doctorw2 Wow, you're British? Your country is a close ally with the US and is run by the same rich assholes. I was afraid you might be from a country that didn't have all the same priviledges Americans have.