Strawberry Letter #26: In Love with an Ex-Con

[omni101]

you know why women stay with " men that don't have anything going on with themselves?"... cause they slangin the "D" real good and it makes women loose their sense of reality...... sad but true

[shasanni]

aren't u cute!

[ghjhgjkiyuiyuiyu]

Try online Latino women profiles rockmycity.info

[readymiready]

Don't do it, don't do it!!! You'll end up paying the rent/mortgage by yourself. Not to mention, your phone bill is going to be sky high due to collect calls from jail. 36? 36? Girl, don't be the one to get suckered in by this guy. I assure you, it will get progressively worse. He doesn't seem to be motivated to do anything except smoke weed and watch DVD's. Ewwwww. END IT!!!

[mishelloren]

HELL NOOOOO....NO MARRIAGE!!! U NEED SOMEBODY THATS ON YOUR LEVEL....NOT SOME BUMB HOLDING U BAK!!

[mssugamamaluv]

Unequally yoked...Marriage is not to be taken lightly it is supposed to be 'til death it is a promise that you make before GOD. If you are having these issues now, it is very doubtful that anything will change just because you are married. Anybody who asks for your hand in marriage should already display the character and the behavior of a husband (the head of your household - as written in the bible). It will be hard but let it go.

[kemd31]

lol this iz 2 funny....not wise at all.....call him "hustleman" lol. na she needa leave him alone. he needa get right. he 2 old 2 be sellin cd's n dvd's. 36....wooooo.....thatz wild. i cant believe they fallin 4 dude. he mite be tryin 2 use her.hmmm. glad u told her. she might be kinda naive n he might see dat. im just sayin. GR8 ADVICE!!!

[onyxspirals]

Girl, please! SHE ALREADY KNEW THE ANSWER!!!

[jmailj]

She needs to run, not walk, away from this man. As you said, he doesn't seem like the type that learns from his mistakes.

[crgcja]

This goes for men and women. Men, if your new lady has 16 ALIASES, and a wrap sheet longer than Sunday's newspaper (<--real life situation. lol), let her go! It's simple.

[awilson1986]

She already knows what to do. Go with it.

[sjm4unow5]

Never date an ex-con!!!! I've met a few people that've met ex-cons and thos ex-cons used them! 

[tiamefon]

Great Video....Yes I think that people do try to fix relationships by getting married or having babies....This man is not right for someone inspiring to be the best that they can be....

[brokennotfixed]

I give you 100%. You were right on; with everything you said to this girl. You didn't beat her up with your opinion which is also a plus. Good job.

[dream621]

leave. dont walk, run. 

[jadapoo1]

He's trying to hitch his wagon to a star. He has no intention of changing. He's going to do what alot of men do these days and have his woman pull the weight for him. So many people come form these types of homes where the woman is the leader and the women and the men from those types of homes feel like that's normal so they continue the cycle. You're young. Go to the military and see what life has to offer you before you get stuck with this dead weight.

[angeewells]

act like the gingerbread man and run, run as fast as you can. some people get older and some people mature. this man just got older. the military will put everything he does in your record. when you are in the military and in another country if he does anything they don't like they will kick him out of the country. it seems as though he would like to get away from where he is.

[mpenny226]

If he has not matured by 36, he is less likely to ever grow up. Move on Sweetie. This is a disaster in the making. Yes, a man can change but he does not sound like he is even attempting to make any changes. Like Sicderro said...Run forrest Run.

[SicaDeero]

Hunny needs to GET HER FOREST ON AND RUN!!! they've only been together for a year and God is showing her so many signs as to why she shouldn't be in this relationship. She needs to take heed and pay attention...stop confusing love with lust. A man who understands the seriousness of marriage would NOT ask for her hand in marriage when he has no stable job to support her. No Bueno!

[TriniBeautydotcom]

When you are contemplating marriage, both parties should be growing together. Seeing that she has so many reasons why she shouldn't be with him, love shouldn't be the reason why she stays. Staying with him will only hold her back. On top of that, her kids might even come out with his mentality. The right man for her will encourage her & see to it that her life is improving. There's a thin line between love & hate and if she stays, she'll regret it in the future.

[millyb83]

She's answering her own questions. Three time con and still trying to get in trouble selling CDs & DVDs. She don't want this man because I didn't hear any positive points,she says she love him but why or what does she love?

[LuvArlynKisz]

She already knew he was wrong for her and knew the answer...thas why she wrote the letter. Give him up girl... As an excon realistically he will never be able to get a really good job to support u and ur family. so most likely u will be carrying the weight of the income and bein the bread winner. Enjoy your life... be friends wit him now (if you can)... Explore you options!!!! You can do sooo much better! thats my advice.... no offense :-)

[MrandMrsT]

Three time felon, drug user, 36 years old, GED, no real job, child-like but that is her man of 1 year. Foolishness!!!

[toy928]

I don't think that how many times he has been locked up has anything to do with it. My hushand has been locked up 3 times. He has went back to school and opened his own business. It has more to do with him being a REAL man. If he hasn't expressed change and more important SHOWED change...he will continue to do what he is doing. the question is can you accept that!!!! If the answer is NO! MOVE AROUND!

[kwietgyrl]

She should end the relationship before it gets heavier than it is!

[JamericaDavis]

The entire time you were talking i was mesmerized by your EYESHADOW! :-) I really tried to listen.. **Kanye shrug** 

[TONIAG03]

@JamericaDavis LOL ME TOO THE EYESHADOW AND THE LIPS IM DIGGING IT 100% WHAT SHADOW DID YOU USE?

[sjm4unow5]

@JamericaDavis She also has such kissable lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sahnya80]

SEVER, MOVE ON, STOP CALLING, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT BUT SERIOUSLY...RUN GIRL, RUN FAAAR AWAY FROM THIS MAN!

[lovecate1]

It sounds like she has already made her decision and is ready to move on. You can't fix, change or save other people. He is who he is until he decides to make changes within himself. It's strange to see people who are almost 40 and hustling. I don't necessarily believe in the white house pickett fence life but selling CDs...Really??? It's one thing if someone has been through a negative experience and has grown from it but he doesn't seem to have done that.

[lolagloss]

i agree !

[Trinidiva25]

im sorry, i don't mean to be so rude but this is some foolishness!!! You're WAY to young and he is going through life clueless!! You guys are NOT well suited for each other... he does not have a plan, a serious goal, and YES he wants to marry you for the benefits... he's a con man!!! They do not make good husbands and fathers!!!!! PLEASE drop him and save yourself some serious heartache!!!!!

[SharnellSurii]

She needs to run and live her life. She is young and in the military and she is on the right track. He is in his 30s and pushing 40 and he is not going to do good by her. She knows that she needs to dump him!

[1namelia]

END THE RELATIONSHIP. HE IS NOT TRYING TO CHANGE. JUST KEEPING IT 100.

[1namelia]

dont hook up with him. dont let the devil still ur future. and dont marry him.

[CYRINTHIA212]

ok yall dun lost yall ever loving mind...HHEEELLL no don't hook up for life with a 3 felon con artist..he's a loser and he's out to mooch offa you..keep it moving..like i tell my family and friends I DONT DO JAIL..i aint marrying no one who's been to jail and im dam sure not going to visit,commit,shake up,have children with..fuck no and move on he's a dam loser

[blessedwithapurpose]

I agree with what you are saying. My husband is an ex-con and I am in the Army. The differene then her boyfriend and my husband is that he did not let life get him down. He set goal and work hard to reach them. He not only going to pull her down he will never grow himself. She should right down what she wants in a husband and see if he is up to your standerds, But also remember that no man will be perfect. IS he close at all?

[prettiewillie]

I just love your big pie face!!!! So beautiful!!

[labatimamzelle]

ur makeup is fab!

[srystr77]

Be selfishh!!!!! You deserve to live the best life possible for you. God has put this in your heart for a reason. When you have to ask these types of questions, you usually already have the answer. Think about it. If you are in the military, can this guy even get security clearance? Think long and hard before to drag this baggage along.

[cymonebreathe]

DROP'EM and follow your intuition

[MsSassyLaRue]

Also every married couple that I know (i'm not but in a serious relationship...yes we're discussing future plans) tell me that marriage doesn't fix things (like you said), but instead magnifies things....would you agree?

[MsSassyLaRue]

i just can't stop laughing. What in THEE...? WHEN O WHEN did we as women (no matter HOW young) lose our common sense?! People make mistakes...that's what life lessons are, but when you continue to have to learn the SAME LIFE LESSON over & over....you are INSANE (that IS the definition of insanity-dong the same thing over &over and expecting different results). There are a good amount of jobs for felons programs,& other things. If she wants to deal with an INSANE CHILD, I say go right ahead, smh.

[MochaKnitster007]

IMHO: I think this letter is fake - written just to get you to read it on YT. I'm sure that if the letter is "real," the writer knows what's up. Figuring this one out is simple. Besides, the military reminds you about being cautious about the complany you keep and how it will affect your military career.

[bananabaygirl]

run like hell.....if it don fit u must quit!!! of u have doubts then u need 2 step back , he is set in his ways and if he dont plan on changin move on.....

[MsSassyLaRue]

@bananabaygirl lol@ if it don't fir you must quit....amen & hi 5 girl!

[ikkinnikk]

No, no, no. Wow, he reminds me of my sister's husband. Smh. Like I told my sister, let him go, let it go. Same for her, let it go move on, move on MOVE ON!!! Stop thinking that worrying about your self is 'selfish'. It's not selfish to get out of a situation that is obviously going to hurt you. It's OBVIOUSLY going to hurt you. This ain't no illusion. He's showing you who he is and you asking for help is proof you know it's not good for you.

[missladyj360]

run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't look back. run!!!

[delite3014]

Come on now?

[bigflagurl]

UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE A SINGLE MOM AND HAVE YOUR CHILDREN SUFFER CAUSE THEIR DAD IS IN PRISON, I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE. LIVE YOUR LIFE. IN THIS CASE, I PRAY THAT YOU LEAVE AND I PROMISE, GOD WILL SEND YOU THE MAN THAT YOU DESERVE. DON'T SETTLE FOR TRASH WHEN YOU CAN HAVE TREASURE. I SAY ALL THIS WITH LOVE AND EXPERIENCE. I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES. IT DOESNT GET BETTER, ONLY WORSE. WISH YOU LUCK!

[bigflagurl]

I BET YOU PAY ALL THE BILLS WHEN YOU GUYS GO OUT. YOU ARE 23 AND HAVE YOUR LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. HE LIVED HIS LIFE. DON'T DO YOURSELF DIRTY BY STAYING WITH HIM. I KNOW MANY 20 YR OLDS THAT HAVE BETTER QUALIFICATIONS THAN HIM. IF HE CANT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF, HOW YOU EXPECT HIM TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AS A WIFE?

[bigflagurl]

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEVER ALL TIES!!!! HES BROKE AND CANT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU. MY FATHER AND BROTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT YOU NEED TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE YOU BETTER. SO FAR, THE ONLY PERSON BENEFITING FROM THE RELATIONSHIP IS HIM.

[erw]

it seems like the young lady has identified all the things that are wrong in this relationship. I guess she just needs reassurance that she is correct in thinking that a marriage with this person will not be successful.

[butterfli78]

it makes me sad that a lot of women don't love themselves enough to know they they deserve better. when are they going learn that all men aren't boyfriend/husband material. you can't expect much from someone who doesn't learn from his mistakes. making mistakes and keep repeating them is not a sign of progress

[sarahe247]

I hope this young lady reconsiders this relationship. She could jeopardize her military career if she marries him maybe even before. Too young..see the world, experience more of life. I can say this because I'm former military AND I got married @ 22. Just didn't have the wayward man in the equation.

[Sallyakerti]

well said sis!!! Sweetheart don't settle for less,find some one you have in comment with and shares your dreams,Your better than that and make sure you love your self and know your worth.Focus your goals and what makes you happy in life..We love you

Thank you so much for sharing.

Much love.

[BuenaventuraAvenue]

The fact that he's an ex-con isn't the biggest problem (although it definitely is a big one). If he had some ambition and maturity then you probably wouldn't be writing the letter. Looking out for your interests does not make you selfish but letting him bring you down does make you foolish. I say leave him. You can do much better.

[anique0320]

You don't have to pray to god he gave you signs. God turned him a loose a long time ago hence why he is thirty-six and is jail bait. Lauryn Hill said it best, "Don't be a hardrock when you're really a gem." Your precious and rare comodity you are on the right path, if you follow this man-boy he will lead you straight to the ghetto. With a house full of kids, selling your foodstamps for the his weed habit.

[anique0320]

The fact that you had to ask someone for advice says it all. Stop walking around with the rose covered glasses on and see things for what it is. A circle will never fit inside a square so why force it. When you try to make things fit because your afraid to let go, you end up angry, feeling more alone, and resentful because you wasted your youth on a loser. He is a free loading opportunist and I don't have to know him to make that opinion.

[Nicsnaps]

One of the biggest issues with dealing with a person who is such a polar opposite, is the mental energy u put into wondering if the person will change, willing or hoping the person will change and trying to get them to change. What is left for you to reach your own goals and dreams. He is not your child, and even if he was u would have to cut the cord at some point. He is 36, cut the cord.

[stayBlessed13]

PREACH BG!!!!!!!!!!

[blackeee1]

leave, run, go, chop chop....move on, get, ET go home.

[sunshower143]

girl, find you a teacher, doctor, lawyer, janitor, garbage collector, plumber, WHATEVER. find someone doing something legitimate. you're 23, you have you're whole life ahead of you.

[Oralaige]

He's almost 40!.....there is a quote that goes like this (I can tell where you are going by the friends you keep) Get rid of him before you start going in that direction.

[starrchild1972]

VERY well said, Goddess. I would like to add, I am not sure what race he is, but more that 50% of Black men are in prison. What concerns me is what is he doing to better himself and make you a better women. It ls clear that you know you should not be with this man because you had to ask. I am knocking him for serving time. I just don't think you both have the same goals and you need someone who is on your level. All you have to do is read your own letter for the answers are there.

[matthew11and25]

This sounds like Disappearing Acts. We saw how that ended...Girl, RUN!

[AfroMohawkable]

You need to move on with your life, I am sure you have not gone to boot camp yet because if you did you wouldn't of wrote this letter!! When you graduate from boot camp you will feel different!! Trust me!! & when you go off to MOS school then to your 1st duty station, you are going to be caught up in your new life! You can do soooo much better! You ARE a prize, TREAT YOURSELF AS SUCH!...many blessings to you in your new career!

[quotidianlight]

When a relationship ends it isn't always a "loss" sometimes it's a gain. If he had a past and was moving on it would be one thing, but imo you do need to move on. Instead of chalking it up as a loss, look at all you've learn. You've learned what you dreams are, how you view relationships etc. How will his current lifestyle affect YOU and future children. How will it affect job prospects, ability to go to school etc? This sounds bad.

[MilaMulas]

well, the girl writing that letter - she had already basically said what she was thinking but afraid to say out loud or admit to herself, I think... She can feel that there is no future life for them both together, since she's growing and developing kinda on her own and in a complete different direction. I hope seeing this video, seeing and hearing it all from a different perspective will help her make a choice that is the right one for her, bless her xx

[vivacious1083]

It seems she already knew the answer to her own question. If she's having doubts like she listed then he is not the one.

[MsPausha]

Girl, tell her he will only bring you down. My mom says if you lay down with dogs you wake up with fleas. He don't love her cause he don't love himself. The older guy thing may be she's looking for a father figure. If she is he's not the father type.

[ChooChoogirlelle]

Uhh, a 3 time convicted felon?!! WOW! She gotta KNOW this is a hot mess. Dang, is this what it's come to?? LOL

[MosaicMaiden]

I thought "leave him" at 1:10! "When in doubt cut it out!

Love your feedback!

[getingsexyback]

r u pregnant u look like u r glowing and biger

[getingsexyback]

r u pregnant u look fuler