I blame those 2 for 1 offers that they had. When you bought them, they were sellotaped together, and when you put them in the fridge you didn't bother to seperate them, and it's just easier to open the fridge door, lift the lid on the nearest one and use it. Only problem is, as you put more items in the fridge, things get rearranged, and you don't know which one has already been opened, And as such, you tend to just take, 'pot luck', and open the one nearest. I blame Tesco.
John as usual captures the full horror of the situation perfectly. I have two tubs of Anchor spreadable open at the moment, I'm trying to use one up before finishing the other but often use the wrong one...the stress is getting to me, I dread opening the fridge to be honest.
@BearandStaff1976 I think if you use one for buttering (merely an expression) savoury things such as bread, toast, Ryvita, Cream Crackers, etc and one for buttering (again!!) sweet things such as scones, malt loaf, tea cakes, Rich Tea biccies, etc, having two tubs open at once in any one fridge is permissible!!
Which brands? I'm sure in end the solution used by John was to mark one tub, place on different shelf from other and use that one first. But one can understand the distress.
@godfishgod I agree!!! ...unfortunately "two margarines, but which one, should I use the 'Margarine' my scone", doesn't quite rhyme! ...so I can appreciate why Shuttleworth opted for the more poetic (if factually incorrect) 'butter'! ..could just eat one now!! mmmmm!!
@billybadbrakes It's true to say that, 'margarine', doesn't fit as it has 3 syllables to, 'butter's, 2. However, I think he did use the correct term, as, to butter is a verb, i.e. the action of placing a spread onto a breaded item. No-one, 'margarines', their toast in the mornings, even if they are using margarine. So, to butter your scone is actually the correct term. Scones are lovely, aren't they? You've got me wanting to eat one now, too!! (0;}
@JFredUK Is buttering always 'placing a spread onto a breaded item' tho I ask myself?!?! ...could you not also just as easily butter a crumpet or maybe butter a tea cake?!? ...or a slightly more avant guarde twist here, you could also maybe butter a plate, or butter a chair even!?!?! ...a kind of Shuttleworth/Dali crossover!!!
Would Mr Shuttleworth ever consider releasing an album of cover versions? I would suggest Since You Been Gone by Rainbow, and I wish I Was A Little Bit Taller by Skee-Lo. I will post again when i have thought of other good ideas.
A few months ago, I had two pints on the go, and I sung the chorus to this briefly. My mate asked me if I was singing a bit of Shuttleworth, and then told me he was playing at Sheffied city hall the following week. I managed to get in and it was AMAZING!!!
@blakeyonthebuses ..ah yes, classic combo of polo neck, beige slacks and burgundy leather box jacket ..you'll often see me doing a bit of block paving or constructing a rabbit hutch in very similar atire!
I saw the mockumentary where he went to the Channel Islands in search of 'Southern Softies'. At first, I thought it was bit sub-Alan Partridge, but eventually you start to 'get it'. I'm surprised I hadn't heard of him until now.
@billybadbrakes oh is ,why dont we hear more of this chap ,he was om radio 7 but i keep forgetting to catch it ,i like the one ,;pidgoens in flight ,i want see you tonight ;the best ,only butter dunna spread like marge used to ,unless u put the butter dish in front of the fire ,oh yes ,see ta mate
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF ..an unattended butter dish in-front of an open fire can result in production of Ghee! ...ok if you're making a nice Rogan Josh, but not so hot (pardon the pun) if you fancy a bit of buttered toast! : )
@billybadbrakes ah you might know ,was he anything to do with that chap with the very big head ,papermache it was ,i think,his name was frank sidebottom ?
Once there's 2 margarines on the go they will naturally only be consumed at an equal rate to one another - thus prolonging the agony for as long as possible.
There are many things I miss about South Yorkshire but margarine isn't one of them, i've moved on to the big bad and slightly dangerous world of butter. I would however love to hear a ditty on the wonderful taste and sights of tea cakes (not tunnocks, the bread kind) but John being a Sheffield lad will have currents in his and that just doesn't go with chips and a sachet of hammond's chop sauce
@jwood36 ..Sounds good! ...funnily enough, here in the NE of England we love 'Stottie Cake', which is also a bread and not a cake!! ...where's the boundaries? Who writes the food rules eh?? John would have a fit if he realised!!
my good lady friend bought me two tubs of the stuff as an homage to this song; however, she suffered from a crisis of conscience due to to the fact that in her haste she actually purchased two tubs of part butter and mostly polyunsaturated fat spread, marketed as almost butter but not due to the additives enabling that straight out of the fridge spreadability factor.it was a lovely gift and we dont want the intentention blighted by this oversight..nobsta nutts and Ami the greek godess.
@belladonna76 what can I say?! ...I suppose it's the thought that counts! Best just to grin and bear it! ...but then again you could always wait until its her birthday and get her something that she's not quite happy with too! you know the kind of thing, she wanted a Ladyshave, so you get her a Braun or something like that, just to see that slight quiver in her smile which reads like a book i.e. "I hate you and I want you to die!!!" ..always a treat!!
@billybadbreaks lucky enough i got to keep the fridge when the grandmother died,although it was full of battenberg cake ,any way a bit of talking to the wife got it cleaned ,thinks very much.
'An important album exploring the moral and ethical dilemmas surrounding food shopping in South Yorkshire.' 'The Grocer 'Two Margarines -spread the word - a classic...-once heard never forgotten - I can't believe it's not number one...'
I've got 2 packs of Olivio olive oil based spread opened at present and I agree with John, it is a worry...I admire the lyrical oxymoron '2 margarines to butter my knife' - oooompf
It's great to see this again thanks for sharing it. It gives me great pleasure to listen to John using the same Yamaha keyboard that I had when I was twelve. I loved that thing, especially the dog like drum noises. He also sometimes plays the demo when he's signing off (e.g. when he was on Johnathan Ross) it's well jackson.
I know Graham has had a couple of castings in Coronation Street, back in the early 80's, but wouldn't John Shuttleworth himself be a wonderful addition to the street - he could co-run the newsagents with Norris maybe - it would be television gold!
I can see him as an odd job man maybe! Turning up with his tool kit in the middle of traumatic or sad scenes ...."just come about the plumbing Mrs Webster! ...oh, I'll come back later!!!" ...you know the sort of stuff!?!
The problem is the 2 for 1 deals though on the regular sized margarine tubs, they're such a temptation, and personally I can see how Mary has succombed.
Well kind of I suppose! However, if you can afford Alterica you probably don't mind having two jars open as you can well afford it! ..why not go for broke and open a third jar? Go on, you know you want to!!
@wimwom1 No, that is fine, as they are not of the same category and can be used for different things! ...tip! always use butter when frying mushrooms! NEVER margarine!!!
@Alembic25 No, he is Graham Fellows AKA Jilted John in the 70's. Likened to Frank by their love of the ditty, the keyboard, brill-cream and being from the general middle North i.e. Yorkshire/Lancashire - B.T.W. Franks real name is Chris Sievey!!
Can not stop playing this.Keeps entering my head at the most inappropriate moments,yes,even during THAT! Internet highlight of the month,cheers Billy.
Check out the b-side of JILTED JOHN,its called GOING STEADY,on youtube.For those who didnt know,its the same John aka Graham Fellowes.Pure folk artistry!
..ah, I'm sorry but you're about 300 viewers too late! ..So my tubs are no longer up for grabs!
As a kind of consolation prize, treat yourself to a walk along your nearest high street tomorrow morning and a self financed morning paper and a Toblerone! ; )
This nightmare scenario happens to me far too often, the wife Jean takes advantage of the local Tesco 2 for 1 offers, and it's just a fridge accident waiting to happen. I'm found baking unnecessary cakes just to rectify the situation..... then giving the cakes away...where will it end!!!
People think Tesco's are doing a good thing with their 2 for 1 nonsense.....when really they're causing nightmare scenario's in fridges across the country!!
Ah, but, as we know, John is a loyal customer of Nettos.......I wonder if they do 2 for 1 as well.......
I have two jars of Colmans Mint Sauce on the go at the moment. It's a nightmare! What to do? You know, people don't have a lot of lamb nowadays. It's hard to find chances to use them. They're both bound to go off before they're half empty......I'm in a real pickle here.......any suggestions?
..how about pouring both partial jars into one slightly bigger jar! Add a checky cloth cover over the lid and a hand written label and hey-presto, It'll make a lovely birthday gift for a mother-in-law of maybe a neighbour you're not too fond of?!?!
er, I don't think it does! In fact thats what the song is all about!
...a bloke with too much time on his hands (& possibly a little A.D.D.) worrying himself silly over the fact that his missus has started on a new tub before the other one is finished!
There are probably people right now in third world countries with 2 tubs of veg oil based spread open at any one time and no means of keeping either one of them cool!!!!
Margarine is most certainly not a subject of merryment in our household.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, what ever is t'internet comming to these days? It is not a forum for bread based pleasure, I can assure you of that, oh no!
I tell you whats worse than 2 Margarines on the go!! ..bloody NO margarines on the go thats what! ..as I found out this morn when I went to the fridge!
Oh I know the situation well! me mum's out and I go to the fridge and there's no spread, so I desperately go to Iceland to get some. (not far away it is!) Yay - Iceland are offering their very handy two for one offer!
Alas - when I arrive home, mother has purchased one already. So now I have three margarines and a very irate mother to contend with.
Makes me wonder if she went to Iceland though, as she didn't get two for the price of one! She was ripped off I tell her!
not only is this a great observation about how hard it is to relax until the first tub is finished but the fact that so many of us undrstand the reference proves what a great job those evil supermarkets did in getting us to buy twice as much stuff as we need!
have you noticed that it's only stuff that goes off which is 2 for 1? they're happy to give some of that stuff away if it gets people looking for offers. cos next thing you know you're leaving with a bunch of stuff you didn't come in for. people who never take advantage of offers spend less. so in answer to your q, yes, i can and do resist.
there doesn't appear to be much sign of the 2 packs of 4 pan scrubbers going off under my sink!! But then again there isn't much chance of me actually using them all!
Well done to you and your thrifty ways. One day i'm sure you will be very very rich!
That's almost as bad as opening a carton of milk when there was one already open. Or maybe finishing off the cornflakes then putting the empty box back in the cupboard for someone else to find.
yes but what knife do use from the draw to spread the margarine another dilemma
mark25661 1 month ago
I blame those 2 for 1 offers that they had. When you bought them, they were sellotaped together, and when you put them in the fridge you didn't bother to seperate them, and it's just easier to open the fridge door, lift the lid on the nearest one and use it. Only problem is, as you put more items in the fridge, things get rearranged, and you don't know which one has already been opened, And as such, you tend to just take, 'pot luck', and open the one nearest. I blame Tesco.
JFredUK 3 months ago
John as usual captures the full horror of the situation perfectly. I have two tubs of Anchor spreadable open at the moment, I'm trying to use one up before finishing the other but often use the wrong one...the stress is getting to me, I dread opening the fridge to be honest.
BearandStaff1976 3 months ago
@BearandStaff1976 I think if you use one for buttering (merely an expression) savoury things such as bread, toast, Ryvita, Cream Crackers, etc and one for buttering (again!!) sweet things such as scones, malt loaf, tea cakes, Rich Tea biccies, etc, having two tubs open at once in any one fridge is permissible!!
billybadbrakes 3 months ago
@billybadbrakes I don't know, sounds pretty radical to me. Thanks for your advice, but I'm just not sure I'm that kind of guy.
BearandStaff1976 3 months ago
John Shuttleworth: "Do you like that?"
Mark Radcliffe: "Have you ever been to Clappersgate?"
John Shuttleworth: "Stop putting me off."
Now THAT is radio.
knwitham 5 months ago
Which brands? I'm sure in end the solution used by John was to mark one tub, place on different shelf from other and use that one first. But one can understand the distress.
Rabmcm32 5 months ago
@Rabmcm32 Is your name really Mary ? You'll be wanting a new vacuum cleaner next.
headschlong 2 months ago
i dont need lady gaga when he can write great samba like this...
rouens 6 months ago
The song is very good...but I take issue with the idea of "buttering" a scone with margerine, surely one would "margerine" a scone with margerine!?
godfishgod 6 months ago
@godfishgod I agree!!! ...unfortunately "two margarines, but which one, should I use the 'Margarine' my scone", doesn't quite rhyme! ...so I can appreciate why Shuttleworth opted for the more poetic (if factually incorrect) 'butter'! ..could just eat one now!! mmmmm!!
billybadbrakes 6 months ago
@billybadbrakes talk about buttering somebody up :-)
uunitedcoloursofuk 4 months ago
@billybadbrakes It's true to say that, 'margarine', doesn't fit as it has 3 syllables to, 'butter's, 2. However, I think he did use the correct term, as, to butter is a verb, i.e. the action of placing a spread onto a breaded item. No-one, 'margarines', their toast in the mornings, even if they are using margarine. So, to butter your scone is actually the correct term. Scones are lovely, aren't they? You've got me wanting to eat one now, too!! (0;}
JFredUK 3 months ago
@JFredUK Is buttering always 'placing a spread onto a breaded item' tho I ask myself?!?! ...could you not also just as easily butter a crumpet or maybe butter a tea cake?!? ...or a slightly more avant guarde twist here, you could also maybe butter a plate, or butter a chair even!?!?! ...a kind of Shuttleworth/Dali crossover!!!
billybadbrakes 3 months ago
@godfishgod fact is you cant actually buy margarine
BlackGoldEstates 4 months ago
Would Mr Shuttleworth ever consider releasing an album of cover versions? I would suggest Since You Been Gone by Rainbow, and I wish I Was A Little Bit Taller by Skee-Lo. I will post again when i have thought of other good ideas.
bluebus270 6 months ago
@bluebus270 I wait with baited breath!
billybadbrakes 6 months ago
My wife says: 'You're a lunatic John!'
sharomanet 6 months ago
Opened the second one, that began the curse. Classic.
kmp3000 6 months ago
Cant believe he`s not bitter.
DRONGOBILLY 6 months ago
Latitude 2011 - I'm there!
seventiesmovies 7 months ago
too much choice is hell...what a great song
marycigarettes 8 months ago
A few months ago, I had two pints on the go, and I sung the chorus to this briefly. My mate asked me if I was singing a bit of Shuttleworth, and then told me he was playing at Sheffied city hall the following week. I managed to get in and it was AMAZING!!!
nicholasthetaylor 9 months ago 6
@nicholasthetaylor Top entertainer Mr Shuttleworth! Saw him twice, brill both times!
billybadbrakes 9 months ago
i like the fact that he does diy in a nice jacket and trousers
blakeyonthebuses 1 year ago
@blakeyonthebuses ..ah yes, classic combo of polo neck, beige slacks and burgundy leather box jacket ..you'll often see me doing a bit of block paving or constructing a rabbit hutch in very similar atire!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
I saw the mockumentary where he went to the Channel Islands in search of 'Southern Softies'. At first, I thought it was bit sub-Alan Partridge, but eventually you start to 'get it'. I'm surprised I hadn't heard of him until now.
NotHomelessAnymore 1 year ago
@NotHomelessAnymore ..maybe it was in a period of homelessness?!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
Do you think John would like spreadable butter- maybe too modern; maybe not?
kerlannarizona 1 year ago
@kerlannarizona I don't think he would mind, just so long as there wasn't two of them opened in the fridge at once! ...Nightmare!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
I have heard it discussed in certain circles in the South that Margarine is used as a lubricant. Ruined my crankshaft. Murder.
LawrenceHill2010 1 year ago
@LawrenceHill2010 ooph! ..friction can be a double edged sword ...if you know what I mean?!?!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
someone told me marge was banned and its no longer available ,i dont know if its true and the worry is driving me mental
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF ..I think they've just changed it's moniker! ..if it was ok for our dads in the war, its ok for us now, I say!
...prefer butter like! : s
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
@billybadbrakes oh is ,why dont we hear more of this chap ,he was om radio 7 but i keep forgetting to catch it ,i like the one ,;pidgoens in flight ,i want see you tonight ;the best ,only butter dunna spread like marge used to ,unless u put the butter dish in front of the fire ,oh yes ,see ta mate
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF ..an unattended butter dish in-front of an open fire can result in production of Ghee! ...ok if you're making a nice Rogan Josh, but not so hot (pardon the pun) if you fancy a bit of buttered toast! : )
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
@billybadbrakes ah you might know ,was he anything to do with that chap with the very big head ,papermache it was ,i think,his name was frank sidebottom ?
RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF 1 year ago
@RICHARDTOMLEY10WHARF ..See 'Alembic25's' question 11 months ago below, for an answer to that one matey!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
I saw him at the Big Chill festival 2 days ago. He was brilliant!
manchestermaniac24 1 year ago
Once there's 2 margarines on the go they will naturally only be consumed at an equal rate to one another - thus prolonging the agony for as long as possible.
deanok1960 1 year ago
@deanok1960 ..I'm sure its one of the laws of physics or chemistry or something!?!?
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
I want this as my ringtone.
mollymawk 1 year ago
@mollymawk ..you can download it from Johns own site 'shuttleworths' dot co dot uk
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
@billybadbrakes hahaha thanks so much, can't wait for my phone to go off on the bus.
mollymawk 1 year ago
@mollymawk ..No Problem, I'll listen out for it! ; )
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
There are many things I miss about South Yorkshire but margarine isn't one of them, i've moved on to the big bad and slightly dangerous world of butter. I would however love to hear a ditty on the wonderful taste and sights of tea cakes (not tunnocks, the bread kind) but John being a Sheffield lad will have currents in his and that just doesn't go with chips and a sachet of hammond's chop sauce
jwood36 1 year ago
@jwood36 ..Sounds good! ...funnily enough, here in the NE of England we love 'Stottie Cake', which is also a bread and not a cake!! ...where's the boundaries? Who writes the food rules eh?? John would have a fit if he realised!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
@zombiekicker Yeah!!! go for it!!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
my good lady friend bought me two tubs of the stuff as an homage to this song; however, she suffered from a crisis of conscience due to to the fact that in her haste she actually purchased two tubs of part butter and mostly polyunsaturated fat spread, marketed as almost butter but not due to the additives enabling that straight out of the fridge spreadability factor.it was a lovely gift and we dont want the intentention blighted by this oversight..nobsta nutts and Ami the greek godess.
belladonna76 1 year ago 2
@belladonna76 what can I say?! ...I suppose it's the thought that counts! Best just to grin and bear it! ...but then again you could always wait until its her birthday and get her something that she's not quite happy with too! you know the kind of thing, she wanted a Ladyshave, so you get her a Braun or something like that, just to see that slight quiver in her smile which reads like a book i.e. "I hate you and I want you to die!!!" ..always a treat!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago 2
the wife wont have it in the house says it give here wind ,so i keep mine in the shed
kevrs2 1 year ago 2
@kevrs2 Not a bad idea that, so long as you don't have a warm shed. If it goes off, it could cause all manner of tummy troubles!!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
@billybadbreaks lucky enough i got to keep the fridge when the grandmother died,although it was full of battenberg cake ,any way a bit of talking to the wife got it cleaned ,thinks very much.
kevrs2 1 year ago
@kevrs2 Well done with that! ...Battenburg eh?! ...now youre talking! a Saturday tea-time treat if ever there was one!!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
Fantastic , The UK and especially 'the North' still at the cutting edge of popular music . Keep it up John.
HelmetBlissta 1 year ago 4
@bulletproofbra ..Thats good, so long as you're using them for different things, I can't see a problem with that!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
'An important album exploring the moral and ethical dilemmas surrounding food shopping in South Yorkshire.' 'The Grocer 'Two Margarines -spread the word - a classic...-once heard never forgotten - I can't believe it's not number one...'
The Journal of Hydrogenated Fat.
trifelgeputinage 1 year ago 2
@trifelgeputinage I couldn't agree more! : S
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
he is brilliant.
dontscreaminmyear 1 year ago
How does someone explain to their wife why they have been caught dancing around the kitchen to a song about two margerines?
cachinnatio 1 year ago
@cachinnatio Your comment would suggest that you know of someone being caught in said situation?!?! ..you will have to enlighten us!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
No joke, there is about 8 butters and one margarine on the go in this house at the moment.
superiourcowies 1 year ago 2
@superiourcowies ...thats just extreme privolity that is!!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
Brilliant
scottjones1972 1 year ago
Blimey! I've got two on the go as well! I've got a tub of Flora and one of Stork(old school)!
uarsman 1 year ago
Is that a sample of Mark Radcliffe at the start?
MikeZar 1 year ago
sure is Sherlock!!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
one of the funniest things I have heard
polabear99 1 year ago
Two Margarines on the Go? Utterly Butterly madness.
Labratful 1 year ago 2
two margarine's on the go. a very northern scenario
cutterschoicenotmine 1 year ago
Wow. This guy is painfully awesome. The funniest!
749rduncx 1 year ago 2
kev had wind
oioistone 1 year ago
its Ken man!
billybadbrakes 1 year ago
I've got 2 packs of Olivio olive oil based spread opened at present and I agree with John, it is a worry...I admire the lyrical oxymoron '2 margarines to butter my knife' - oooompf
wp6265 1 year ago 3
thats why you should always use the same brand....sheer lunacy not to !
katyrocks1001 2 years ago 2
Thanks everyone, for 100 x 5 star ratings ...brill!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
It's great to see this again thanks for sharing it. It gives me great pleasure to listen to John using the same Yamaha keyboard that I had when I was twelve. I loved that thing, especially the dog like drum noises. He also sometimes plays the demo when he's signing off (e.g. when he was on Johnathan Ross) it's well jackson.
jarzhinio 2 years ago
sorry, just to clarify ...is it the 'actual' keyboard that used to belong to you?!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
no same model I should have made that clear
jarzhinio 2 years ago
ah, I see! ..still brill tho all the same! ; )
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
i have 2 marmalades on the go. one excellent solution is to keep one in the fridge for later use.
chillrobin 2 years ago 3
I hope they're different flavours?! ...to open two jars of the same type is just plain sloppy!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
genius! obviously..
therotatingchinmen 2 years ago 2
I know Graham has had a couple of castings in Coronation Street, back in the early 80's, but wouldn't John Shuttleworth himself be a wonderful addition to the street - he could co-run the newsagents with Norris maybe - it would be television gold!
alternatereality85 2 years ago 4
I can see him as an odd job man maybe! Turning up with his tool kit in the middle of traumatic or sad scenes ...."just come about the plumbing Mrs Webster! ...oh, I'll come back later!!!" ...you know the sort of stuff!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago 2
Comment removed
Kevo216666 2 years ago
shuttleworth is easily one of the best british comedy creations ever
MrBILLYBUMBLES 2 years ago 19
Is this a real song. I think it's been made up.
rumtumbugger 2 years ago
I think ALL songs were ...originally!!... : S
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
For more Shuttleworth please visit my channel. Depending on the response, I might add more of his radio shows. Thanks.
RadioShuttleworth 2 years ago 3
I endorse this persons channel, vids and use of Warhol'esque imagery!!! ...; )
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
egg's gammon
oioistone 2 years ago
tell mary to buy a *bigger pack better value* tub o marg : )))
ellaxxable 2 years ago
The problem is the 2 for 1 deals though on the regular sized margarine tubs, they're such a temptation, and personally I can see how Mary has succombed.
alternatereality85 2 years ago
Ive opened a second jar of Alterica when im half way through my first.have i started the curse?
dannysbrother 2 years ago
Well kind of I suppose! However, if you can afford Alterica you probably don't mind having two jars open as you can well afford it! ..why not go for broke and open a third jar? Go on, you know you want to!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
This often just pops into my head when I'm getting margarine out of the fridge. Brilliant!
berries0 2 years ago 3
So good. Thanks for posting this. I really cheers me up xx
linzoidmarie 2 years ago 4
@linzoidmarie I'm glad I played a small part in your cheering! BBB x
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
yes there is something worse, 1 butter and 1 margarine...butter tastes better, but margarine is easier to spread!
wimwom1 2 years ago 3
@wimwom1 No, that is fine, as they are not of the same category and can be used for different things! ...tip! always use butter when frying mushrooms! NEVER margarine!!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
it's a dilema, second to none
... in't it Mark?
boogie on down, John
martinevans123 2 years ago 3
Is this guy also Frank Sidebottom? The odd character with the papier mache head and the mate called Little Frank?
Alembic25 2 years ago
@Alembic25 No, he is Graham Fellows AKA Jilted John in the 70's. Likened to Frank by their love of the ditty, the keyboard, brill-cream and being from the general middle North i.e. Yorkshire/Lancashire - B.T.W. Franks real name is Chris Sievey!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Can not stop playing this.Keeps entering my head at the most inappropriate moments,yes,even during THAT! Internet highlight of the month,cheers Billy.
MrWitchtrials 2 years ago 9
Ta MrWitchtrials!!
..I hope it doesn't effect performance too much!!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Love the photos especially peeping through the gate xD
FraterAeternus93 2 years ago 2
Thanks! ..I think he's making sure the gate is still level!!
..a sure sign of A.D.D. if ever I saw it!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Superb! Thanks for posting!
budvarone 2 years ago 2
Check out the b-side of JILTED JOHN,its called GOING STEADY,on youtube.For those who didnt know,its the same John aka Graham Fellowes.Pure folk artistry!
MrWitchtrials 2 years ago 2
agreed!!! ...excellent to sing along to at a party, with other 40 somethings!!
...."my gran thinks you're dead nice, yeah!"
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Helge Schneider!
Snerfgnarl 2 years ago
doesn't make it out of Germany!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
GET THE VOLVO VAL!!
cyberpunk6661962 2 years ago
You're like a Volvo
You keep your lights on in the day
ebeneezzer 2 years ago
???
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
It's the lyrics from John's homage to Mr.Worthington "Can You Ken-Ken".
ebeneezzer 2 years ago
not heard it
...thanks for that!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
How the hell do you get into the situation of two margarines in the same fridge?
ady10001 2 years ago
BOGOF!
eldospinks 2 years ago
here here!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
I'd like two tubs of flora please.
Edwardfrary 2 years ago
..ah, I'm sorry but you're about 300 viewers too late! ..So my tubs are no longer up for grabs!
As a kind of consolation prize, treat yourself to a walk along your nearest high street tomorrow morning and a self financed morning paper and a Toblerone! ; )
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
ahhhh! Not many eagle eyed viewers out there!!
Be able to use this 2 for 1 coupon for myself then!! ...thanks very much!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
I'm getting excited!!! ...the 40,000 viewer of this video will win 2 brand new tubs of a margarine of their choice!! Just leave a message telling me!!
..remember tho, open only 1 at a time!!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Somebody told me he used to be "Jilted John" is this true?
Alembic25 2 years ago 3
His name is Graham Fellows and both Jilted John and John Shuttleworth are characters of his.
He's a very funny man and a nice bloke too!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
i hear dthis song for the first time ageees ago like a few years i think but nyway i love it!!! hes on the yorkshire tea advert isn't he?
billypony 2 years ago
yeah he is!!
..still hasn't converted me tho. I'm sticking with my PG Tips. 2 Dozen Chimps can't be wrong!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
egg's..gammon
oioistone 2 years ago
.....poor Rhiannon Ken had wind!!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
This nightmare scenario happens to me far too often, the wife Jean takes advantage of the local Tesco 2 for 1 offers, and it's just a fridge accident waiting to happen. I'm found baking unnecessary cakes just to rectify the situation..... then giving the cakes away...where will it end!!!
BrotherWalfridsDream 2 years ago 3
when will they realise 2 for 1 just doesn't work!?!? ..the arguments I've had and all to no avail!!! ..ooph!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
oof!
People think Tesco's are doing a good thing with their 2 for 1 nonsense.....when really they're causing nightmare scenario's in fridges across the country!!
Ah, but, as we know, John is a loyal customer of Nettos.......I wonder if they do 2 for 1 as well.......
arfer 2 years ago
have you had their own brand beans??
..who would possibly want to BOGOF with those?? ..double ooph!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
I have two jars of Colmans Mint Sauce on the go at the moment. It's a nightmare! What to do? You know, people don't have a lot of lamb nowadays. It's hard to find chances to use them. They're both bound to go off before they're half empty......I'm in a real pickle here.......any suggestions?
arfer 2 years ago 2
not too sure!? ..I'm a Lamb/Mustard man myself!
..how about pouring both partial jars into one slightly bigger jar! Add a checky cloth cover over the lid and a hand written label and hey-presto, It'll make a lovely birthday gift for a mother-in-law of maybe a neighbour you're not too fond of?!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Good thinking, Billy.
I was just going to tell myself to start enjoying mint sauce sandwiches.
arfer 2 years ago 2
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, Mint Sauce Sandwiches.
dacrlit 2 years ago 2
Look for someone cooking three tons of new potatoes and make them an offer they cant refuse.
stacksovids12 2 years ago 3
is that for the margarine or the mint sauce?!?!
...Ive lost the thread!!! ..ooph!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
maybe Ken can get you back on the thread, you may need to bribe him with a Malabu or two though, possibly a rasberry Ruffle bar too.
stacksovids12 2 years ago
Ho ho ho! Now your talkin!! Raspberry Ruffle bars! Would go lovely dipped in my cup of coffee! mmmm!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
only one though, "two would be greedy"
stacksovids12 2 years ago
Great to see the first series of the Shuttleworths is on CD now, a classic!! I bought the tape way back in the 90's.
stacksovids12 2 years ago
you little pioneer you!
Any reproduction of this mans work is brill. His national exposure on the Yorkshire Tea ads is not before time in my humble opinion!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
thank god for lurpak, lol
rottingdoggy 2 years ago 2
This is so funny,
Emmamoo 2 years ago 3
its a serious matter!! ..ha ha!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
..and don't get me started on shampoos..
popitinpete 2 years ago 3
Nearly as bad as going to savour the last drink of tea only to find that you've already finished it.
93LINIGHAN 2 years ago 7
I suffered this terrible fate just last night. I felt like going to have a lie down afterwards, it upset me that much...
Bappus 2 years ago
I love that last sip - Hate it when its gone and you thought there was more - so disappointing. Love this thread!
Aheavysigh 2 years ago 2
a simple solution is to alternate between the two,it solves the problem without upseting anyone!
fatley 2 years ago
er, I don't think it does! In fact thats what the song is all about!
...a bloke with too much time on his hands (& possibly a little A.D.D.) worrying himself silly over the fact that his missus has started on a new tub before the other one is finished!
..nightmare man, I'm sure you will agree?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
LOL We have two spare in te fridge and on on the go... I fret myself silly of another being opened in error - I love this song!
Aheavysigh 2 years ago 2
...get it in perspective man!!
There are probably people right now in third world countries with 2 tubs of veg oil based spread open at any one time and no means of keeping either one of them cool!!!!
...there for the grace of god eh!?!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
ooph!
leelifeson 2 years ago
The unrelenting torture one feels with two margerines open at once is so accurately expressed in this musical composition. Top marks.
adeworks 2 years ago 2
..here here!!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Margarine is most certainly not a subject of merryment in our household.
You should be ashamed of yourselves, what ever is t'internet comming to these days? It is not a forum for bread based pleasure, I can assure you of that, oh no!
Quite the opposite in fact.
MrNormalton 2 years ago
well it didn't bother that bloke from Last Tango in Paris!
shakeyspheres 2 years ago
...was that not butter?!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
funny as fuck...
aitch50x 2 years ago
I tell you whats worse than 2 Margarines on the go!! ..bloody NO margarines on the go thats what! ..as I found out this morn when I went to the fridge!
Boy that toast was dry!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
Oh I know the situation well! me mum's out and I go to the fridge and there's no spread, so I desperately go to Iceland to get some. (not far away it is!) Yay - Iceland are offering their very handy two for one offer!
Alas - when I arrive home, mother has purchased one already. So now I have three margarines and a very irate mother to contend with.
Makes me wonder if she went to Iceland though, as she didn't get two for the price of one! She was ripped off I tell her!
nutster9000 2 years ago
Not many things worse than a margarine enraged mother!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
john if yer there....just want to say you make me laugh big every day yer northern monkey!!!
Dazsculpt 2 years ago
...yes. three margarines!!!!!
racefaceec90 2 years ago
I discovered John Shuttleworth when i accidentally recorded a program he presented on the VCR. He was hilarious i watched it over and over again.
bigjimmi24 2 years ago
not only is this a great observation about how hard it is to relax until the first tub is finished but the fact that so many of us undrstand the reference proves what a great job those evil supermarkets did in getting us to buy twice as much stuff as we need!
DreamedOfHugeSpiders 2 years ago 2
can you resist a 2 for 1 offer?? ..I cant!!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
have you noticed that it's only stuff that goes off which is 2 for 1? they're happy to give some of that stuff away if it gets people looking for offers. cos next thing you know you're leaving with a bunch of stuff you didn't come in for. people who never take advantage of offers spend less. so in answer to your q, yes, i can and do resist.
DreamedOfHugeSpiders 2 years ago
there doesn't appear to be much sign of the 2 packs of 4 pan scrubbers going off under my sink!! But then again there isn't much chance of me actually using them all!
Well done to you and your thrifty ways. One day i'm sure you will be very very rich!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago
never thought i'd type this and mean it but LOL. it's not often the written word makes me laugh out loud. so well done you.
DreamedOfHugeSpiders 2 years ago
That's almost as bad as opening a carton of milk when there was one already open. Or maybe finishing off the cornflakes then putting the empty box back in the cupboard for someone else to find.
cottonwhiskersuk 2 years ago
Mary does well to ignore the excess of spreads in the house...
MrsWoman 2 years ago 3
think she may have been the one who opened the 2nd tub?!?!
billybadbrakes 2 years ago