Cr1TiKaL's Best Quotes

[WhatBlackPerson]

Absolutly no comments in cr1tikals videos get dislikes cause his videos make people so happy

[MaliciousGrim05]

what. Y U NO ADD "I got 99 problems but a snack aint one"?

[DeathGripper1337]

Cr1TiKal's best quotes : every single Cr1TiKal vid

[53TSCollins]

5:38 taste knowledge you alliterate douche bag!

[ryuzakifreak14]

I love how he never calls Modern warfare 2 "modern warfare" lol

[DietaryCar]

lmao the spy plane goes up and so does my penis :3

[Jonnybowden0]

I had a dream last night about seeing cr1tikal for the first time... and he was flashing me hin nipples o.O

[Phillipoosas]

anyone know his real name? age? picture of himself?

[ElPolloLocoS13]

@Phillipoosas That's the equivalent of finding out how many licks it takes to get to the end of a tootsie pop.

[wussupmonkey]

this guy sounds just like my friend rodi

[SwagbyEpicosity]

Haha and "Taste knowledge, you illiterate douchebag!"

[SwagbyEpicosity]

Hahahaha "Well rub my nipples with sandpaper and beat my weiner with nitroglycerin."

[xLifeWithoutMusicx]

"It was like I was taking a shit to decide the fate of the world" <3

[animemefreak74]

english: OH MY GOD THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS I'M SO MAD RIGHT NOW

critikal translation: This game is making my nipples very perky and my dick feel like a slug.

[soccer383]

Follow @Cr1tikalQuotes on twitter for daily nipple quotes!

[MrEawf]

I. CANT. STOP.LAUGHING. ROFLMFAO.

[silverstryfe]

Most of the time when I watch his videos and eat chips while rubbing myself. It helps to ease my horniness.

[Swagger565]

@JevandyJohnson For sure! The Mayas totally predicted that!

[N1cX591]

hahahaha Let me breathe!!!

[Sebaaz96]

You forgot one of the best! Modern Hippopotamus Shit 2 !

[idkweirdfbook]

LOL Tactical advantage

[PoohStickProductions]

My responsibility as a wookie lol

[scapeg0at4]

a shit to determine the fate of the world? XD

[ImRealityyy]

I wanna see what this guy looks like

[Zachattack172]

Cr1tiKal's nipples will be in a museum one day.

[MegaGummyBeary]

4:55 link please

[ClutchyProduction]

"Taste Knowledge you illiterate douche bag" that... made me LOL SO HARD!

[SOGlord]

how the fuck does cr1tikal not laugh at himself?!

[DannyFatSack]

@KansenChan alpha protocal

[James1803]

No nipples of the north?! Are you smacking my wiener with nitro glycerin?

[frankiebaby725]

Haha, "the spy plane goes up, so does my penis"

[MexiDutchProductions]

"this fucking power ranger over here" hahahah

[guitarheroman246]

what is the vid at the beginning

[DonthackGMJ32]

@guitarheroman246 Mario Party 7

[SuperNoobdude]

6:22 "This guy is over here shitting his pants and im over here not wearing pants and i ended up victorious with the leap frog."

[Corrosive1]

3:05 holy fucking lol

[Haugen1998]

You. Are. One. Fucking. Hillarious. Person.

Thanks. U really made my day

[prototype102010]

i downloaded one of thoes extreme songs... it's true...

[StallioN0of0MeadoW]

have you seen his video on Octodad 0__0 should make a new video with quotes from it!

[smillbag97]

@StallioN0of0MeadoW

best one yet by far lol

[TheIceSamurai]

what episode was the first thing about the shit in

[prototype102010]

@TheIceSamurai it's from a mario game i think

[MrMvansic]

7 ppl didnt download the song.

[SHOTOKAN1ASSASSIN]

omg from 3:06 to 3:10 i was on a different tab just listening to this video and when i heard that i was like WTF!!! O.o and i went back to the tab

[TerraceArchimedes]

@SHOTOKAN1ASSASSIN LOL! 

[killingseason777]

What is with cr1tikal and nipples?

[taytay3087]

@killingseason777

hes a pornographer.

[agoode37]

Well, rub my nipples with sand paper and beat my weiner nitro glicerin. Hahahahah

[MrXbox360kid]

whats the game @ 4:09

[Metalchris36]

I FUCKIN LOVE YOU for making this video xDDDDDDDDD the best video on youtube without a doubt!

[TheHarpseal]

easy, its about as easy as forcing diarhea out of you fingertips HAHAHHAAH!!

[TheAllia22]

Well, rub my nipples in sandpaper and beat my wiener with nitroglycerine, somehow that bitch got me.

[HotShot6611]

ps2player4u its alan wake for xbox360.

[Brennanmom557]

Haha wat episode is at 3:30

[TheBigStupidHead]

"Oh this is a nice position... Looks like I'm about to get a blow job from a stegasaurus"

Lmfao

[01purpleturtle]

@dogfoodmovies

It's Amnesia The Dark Descent. Badass game.

[ps2player4u]

What is the game at 4:02

[cskuz]

please do a lp of duke nukem forver

[re5owns678]

intervention bling with silencer only lol :3

[yuionanodesuyo]

i can fap to this

[TakashiXzero]

''well rub my nipples with sandpaper, and beat my weiner with nitroglycerin, somehow that bitch got me''

[TheDragoMorph]

"Taste knowledge you illiterate douchebag!"

[Xxnighthawk97xX]

since i saw this video i use these words on a daily basis

[yoyodominos]

@Xxnighthawk97xX

yay im not alone :D

[flybirdefly]

this blue cristmas presents ass XD

[TaintedMetals]

Which video did the first quote come from?

[flybirdefly]

@TaintedMetals from mario party 7

[hahabasil]

@TaintedMetals go to his channel and search mario

[StallioN0of0MeadoW]

I wanted to make an epic comment but realized I just couldnt match the epicness of what Cr1tikal can say so I wrote this comment.

[raTex199994]

the spy plane goes up and so does my penis :D:D

[egexxx3169]

Rub my nipples withsandpaper and beat my dick with nitroglycerine

[666Shinedown]

Dude every word that Cr1TiKaL says is a masterpiece soooo eah!

[Mx5322]

Wtf his quotes from qwop arent in the video?!?

[EPiCMEiSTERx404]

"what the fuck is that creature? looks like that wierd fucker from the goonies" XD

[marioparty834]

I would pay to see "Cr1TiKAL: The Movie"

It would sell millions at the Box office

[dodabender]

BY THE MIGHTY SHIT OF SANTA CLAUSE

[135jdawson]

My fucking HERO.

[jolowiTV]

whats the name of the game at 3:10 PLEASE SOMEONE ANSWER. THANKS

[SquareKiteGaming]

@jolowiTV Sumotori Dreams

[timsaurusrex]

@SquareKiteGaming thats the best episode

[P2daG11]

@jolowiTV sumotori



[MasterCheif117Halo]

@jolowiTV it is called sumotori

[xXhanson900Xx]

taste knowledge you illiterate douche bag lol so funny

[sromero139]

you forgot in worst gun on black ops "as you just saw right there i planted that big fucking robot on the ground ,its pretty damn useless just draws a nice green circle thats what it do teaches you geometry."

[callofdutykiller123]

what is the name of the game at 3:06

[superionoptimus]

@callofdutykiller123 sumotori



[TaxingCab]

If i'm not mistaken you have forgot to include one of Cr1tikals most monumental names for mw2 "modern yoda shit 2"

[iSmashLamps]

i lost it when he says, "this is my typical sniper class, a intervention with bling, and then I like to put on the silencer and nothing else, becuase i dont really need the other attachment" HAHAHA this guy is classic!!

[SiicKzTV]

what in the shit stains in the asshole marked with nipple milk!!! haha so funny

[regiroiseel]

I piss myself whenever i hear the "The worst game in the history of games*Shatter*And yup,i just broke that.."

[fadetoblack404]

part 3 should be the best with all the new quotes from facade, snowboard kids, and all of his other amazing videos

[hippothefrog]

how does this have dislikes????!!!!!!

[RyansAmusments]

Best quotes? For his best quotes watch all of his videos.

[legendaryrurouni]

Whats the episode at minute six?

[myminicityguy]

What is the video that is the first quote?

[orangepan13]

@ikissbabies1234 wow i must have been failing at video games FAR too much when i was tryping meant to ask the game but its amnesia the dark descent i now now.

[rhutwikm]

ty for posting this man..

[RyanShredZ]

One small step for mankind one giant step for my nipples

[srhdel14]

wow 5 dislikes with 299 likes those 5 people have never hurd Cr1TiKal's talk b4

[ikissbabies1234]

@orangepan13 taste knowledge you elliterate douch bag.

[fremaster139]

You cannot fit enough in these videos. He has too many amazing quotations hahaha

[orangepan13]

what was the comment at 5:40

[White4401]

this comment is the best comment of all time

[masterchiefcool]

Im not really sure what I was doing, I was probably slapping my nipples trying to get them to talk to me.

[iFaeZwuNi]

you forgot everything else he's ever said. ever

[8423MusicGenius]

"are fisting an armadillo's asshole The? how did you get cholera i dont even know what that is, and you got it... oh what the fuck, unbeleivable, were down to the lone ranger, Shit's on a mission now" xD

[8423MusicGenius]

"alright there he goes, and im coming too yeah flying nipples! aw shit"

"holy shit i should solving rubix cubes for fucking money i am the smartest man alive"

"i lost a wagon axel wagon tongue brave oxen took a fall is drowned oms gone NO! NIPPLE! nipples drowned! the journeys over we cant go on"

[theduosevennick]

youre welcome for your 17,000th view

[WhatxAxCoolxName]

Modern (insert noun here) S*** 2. Definitely

[Madsker823]

they should make a cr1tikal soundboard for your ipod or iphone

[imsoepic48]

you for got to put in the modern yodashit 2

[CorneliusTheQuilava]

Which game is the one in the thumbnail?

[brandonpvideos]

no quotes from the dead rising video? haha good video though

[GamingsecretsTV]

Don take a drink of your root bear while watching a Cr1TiKaL Video, I learned that the hard way.



[crazymusicalgoof7]

"and you have got to be shitting down my penis hole"

[mmartinez19971]

you forgot the one from black ops zombies "what in the shit stain in the asshole marked with nipple milk"!!!

[froebdorks]

transcribe audio is 97% right. WTF

[ripgordie22]

rub my nipples with sand paper and beat my dick with nitro glicerin

[kxlover26]

fuckin bitch.. bitch bitch over here HAHA that twas perty funnay

[TheNick2222]

HOW DOES HE SAY THIS FUNNY ASS STUFF WITHOUT LAUPHING?

[dragonkane43]

6:14 hahaha

[MrDwtime70]

my favorite was gun game high roller the jimmie johnson at the begining and also at the begining the part where he dolphin dives to his death "he most haved popped a stiffy and impaled himself"

[TheGreatEzio]

what game is that @ 3:48

[pinoysushi1000]

@TheGreatEzio amnesia the dark descent

[lsumme21]

Taste knowledge u illiterate douche bag!!

[TheNick2222]

please do more@!!

[aznflipboi51]

That was my iPhones spell check I meant cr1tikal

[aznflipboi51]

Gotta love critical

[numbuh745]

the 3 people who disliked this video had their nipples removed by Cr1TiKaL.

[SolenmSerpent]

"Well, rub my nipples with sandpaper and beat my wiener with nitroglycerin - somehow that bitch got me."

//dies of laughter

[EPiCMEiSTERx404]

"looks like that wierd fucker from the goonies" XD

[xDudek13lx]

hahah the beginnng is fucking hilarious :O, its illegal not to sub

[UliTheBulli]

puttin this shit on my ipod xD

[Tataru5117]

@UliTheBulli i doin that as we speak! XD

[Jeorjful]

"very last enemy, I'm about to kill him, and you have gotta be shitting down my penishole" vintage

[MatrixMasta2009]

3:14 whaqt gaME?

[cOriticAl]

@MatrixMasta2009 Sumotori

[Deadlocked1228]

eat  knowledge you illiterate bastard!!!

[TheKingOfCarmel]

Keep it tight - too much of Cr1TiKaL just talking about what he's doing (describing his sniper class, etc) amidst the uncomprehensable epicness of the real best Cr1T quotes. Still, a master work of art by any measure.

[SquareKiteGaming]

@TheKingOfCarmel Another reason why Part 2 was better.

[TheKingOfCarmel]

@SquareKiteGaming Aye. 

[MassHero]

I commend you, sir

[ForgotTheReciept]

i want to know what the song is hes talking about

[sk8in4metal]

the spy plane goes up and so does my penis

[l102297]

pt 2 was way better

[SquareKiteGaming]

@l102297 I have to agree, since much more of the footage was from his more recent videos in Part 2, and because on multiple occasions the editing got screwed up in this one when I split it into two pieces for Youtube.

[MrZappy101]

Why doesn't this have more views?

[Masta4663]

you forgot the famous gun game quote "what in the robotic of a prostitutes harry asshole is this?"

[sonnikku5]

this needs way more views this is the best video ive ever seen EVER

[ricardorochaharo]

nice. lol

[SeriphiaValosx]

Fucking beautiful.