Added: 3 years ago
From: swimmerdude91
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  • GENIUS.

  • don't be afraid to laugh AT yourself now and again. Humour heals us, you know.

    i have never been to scotland in my life. if i went, i would love to see glasgow first, so i would. i wouldn't mind but scotland is All Ireland's nearest neighbour!!!

    now, i have been THREATENING to go there one day. so behave yourselves in case i do!!

  • We're still pishin' in their Bovril.!

  • Clearly the supporter in the wrong end was a rangers fan, because they were winning also its protestant not prodestant and I don't know any one who is religious who supports either rangers or Celtic so they can't blame anything on that shit excuse...

  • @nomnomnom421 You don't know many supporters then. Most Rangers/Celtic supports support those teams out of religious influence.

  • prodestant? Prodestant?? Does that religion involve a lot of cows???

  • (very good son eas no bad)" as my dad would have said ".....F****IN BRILLL if you asked me.

  • Comment removed

  • @junior1873 ...and you can't even spell you're supposed faith properly? good one pal... mon the hoops!

  • Bovril--beef tea

  • Isn't bovril a spread a bit like marmite

  • 1:00 the last mistake of his life?

  • bloody priceless...could just as well a been about Hearts-Hibs too eh...

  • @craigpei who?

  • @F12Y14N25 The Edinburgh version of Glasgow's Old Firm rivalry,,,

  • @craigpei I know I was messin' wit' ya

  • @F12Y14N25 lol thought maybe you were someone from the west side of the pond who wasn't up on Scottish football...

  • @craigpei no I don't I am english but I know the spl teams I want someone other than glasgow to win one day...

  • @F12Y14N25 I still haven't gotten over 85 season for the Jamtarts-- 27 match unbeaten streak, Hearts have 5 starters sick with flu for final match, lose 0-2 to flippin' Dundee while St Mirren take a 5 goal dive to give Celtic the title on the last day of the season...have won a couple of Cups since then but they'll never get over the gazillion quid payrolls at Ibrox and Celtic Park eh...

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ffs lol at 1:58, i saw one of them in jurassic park

  • 21 people had their bovril pissed in.

  • Rangers forever WATP Hail King Billy ;)

  • brilliant

  • here's cheers to you Billy .

  • Hail Hail

  • Comment removed

  • This guy is such a legend. Love him!

  • All these years I never knew why my da had bovril in the cupboard, never knew what it was. Now I know

  • @kevcarspray as opposed to listening to your shite this is all we have mate. cheers

  • He looks like god in the thumbnail.

  • i'm so bored with this Scottish English arguing bollocks, it's fucking boring.  Who cares what part of the fucking rock you were born on, YOU DIDNT HAVE ANY SAY IN THE MATTER.

  • @DayDreamAscent

    Exactly!

    We're all becoming the same people anyway, and it's a good thing. I don't want to start one of the famous YouTube arguments with anyone, I'm just saying; nationalism is an idea that will only drive us further apart. We're brought up with stories on how to hate each other for whatever reason, and none of it matters. We're different because of accidents of geography and nothing more. We're divided enough in the so-called United Kingdom! Anyway, take care of yourselves!

  • @DayDreamAscent well said

  • GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Pure quality

  • awesome punch line, rofl

  • pish heads like you annoy me,why post a series of photos on a VIDEO site???????

  • @misterwibbles obviously because he had the audio for the routine and not the video, why else you brainless oik

  • @urtube2k9 Just because you can't understand a word he says.

  • Pot-Head....

  • Comment removed

  • Pretty much the same has happened to me...I went to see a tv-match in a bar. Brazil national team was playing and the bar was in Minas Gerais, in the heart of Brazil. I had put on the colours of my homecountry (white n blue), but I forgot that they are also the colours of Argentina...

  • @Sutemi haha shit dude

  • greatest punch line ever.

    saw Billy live last year and he really is incredible live.

    long live the king of comedy

  • @bigmickeyb I envy you :(

  • ON YA GO BILLY BOY!!!!!!! :)

  • ROFLMAO Not heard this for a while Still makes me laugh

  • I remember when i first heard this years ago when i was wee and i couldn't stop laughing for hours. Pure Genius!!!

  • My favourite joke. Heard it when i was much younger. Brilliant. :)

  • Allways good to hear that one again. Absolutely brilliant

  • and there was a big jobby in it... ROFL!

  • OMG IS THIS HUMOR? WHERE FROM? I GOT A LAUGH ANYHOW, I DID MY OWN THING HAHAHAHAHAHA.

  • 19 people need to punch themselves in the dick.

  • celtic x

  • VERY GOOD!!!!

    

  • oh i get it he pissed in their bovril

  • @jamiewilden it's the way he tells it. Ive heard people tell this story in the office where i work. Its not very funny. Most of his jokes arn't hilarious, but billy connolly is an amazing story teller and can make a lot of stuff funny. Its what makes him an amazing comedian.

  • Celtic fans are way better than Rangers fans

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 I take it that'll be the same Celtic fans that sing anti-English songs and celebrate an organisation that murders women and children?

  • @Jermyn78 I'm not either.... I just remember my dad was was at the Falkirk v Celtic game, (he's a Falkirk fan) and for some reason he got told to sit with the Celtic fans. The final score was Falkirk 5 - 4 Celtic. Every time Falkirk scored he was jumping up and down like an daft idiot and the Celtic fans just had a good laugh with him. I've never been told something like that about a Rangers fan.

  • @Jermyn78 and tbh... who gives a fuck if they sing anti-English songs? It's fucking Scotland!!! We all sing anti-English songs

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 I suppose it helps with the pain at having never progressed further than Round 2 of an International Tournament eh?;) Only kidding! I don't mind the Scottish, I just hate Celtic fans.

  • @Jermyn78 i don't care if we can't progress to even the group stages of the world/euro cup.... at least my country is realistic about what'll happen, unlike the English who think every time they enter a cup, it's their year to win it. If they can't get to host the 2018 WC, it's a conspiracy. Why do you people have to make such a big deal about everything that happens to you? 1966 was 45 yrs ago, but you's can't stop talking about it.

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 No-one actually expects England to win a major tournament, just the media who keep hyping the (Overpaid and underskilled) team to ridiculous levels and unfortunately, a few knuckleheads get swept along with it. But apart from that, no-one is under any illusions. I agree about the fiasco surrounding the 2018 World Cup, to show a documentry beforehand that proclaims FIFA to be bent was stupid and did us more harm than good.

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 Ever thought of getting the fuck off your high horse? Probably not. Keep up with your anti-English agenda, because we all have the same mind-set, we all care so much about football, obviously.. and it's called being optimistic, we know we aren't going to win a major tournament but it's fun to pretend we might possibly win it.

    Gotta love how I click on a video for comedy and find some twat hating on the English as per usual :')

  • @NewAccountFFS Sure it's fun to pretend you might win, but win England don't, it's all over the news on how they were cheated out of it. If they didn't make such a huge fucking fuss about it, maybe then I might cut them some fucking slack

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 WE didn't make a big fuss about anything. WE as the English never do, it's the media who hype it up and seeing as we don't control the media WE didn't do anything. Just as WE didn't put little St. Georges on Marsbars, because WE don't control what marsbar as a company do.

  • @NewAccountFFS The news, which is English put it all over the news. Mars bar is made in Berkshire, which is ENGLAND. You personally, didn't do it, but every one who had the chance to did. Did you see the Bruzil advert?

  • @NewAccountFFS So true.

  • @Chrissyyyyyo9 you spend more time crying about 1966 than any englishman would ever spend talking about it!

  • funny :L

  • Even though I could see the punch line comming it's still funny. Billy Connolly could make the weather funny though.

  • Absolutley brilliant! Another reason why the Bill-meister is the funniest comedian in the world!

  • Fucking awesome joke, love the build up.

  • that joke's sponsored by BOVRIL(tm)

  • @MichaelMartinDavey Isn't that the point of the LIKE button for the video?

    you bloody approval whore

  • @Hysteria98 hahahahahaha

  • @Hysteria98 - Yay ......

  • @Hysteria98 Thumbs down. No - the like button is for the video itself and relates more to the uploader than the content of said video.

  • @nCrazed Thanks! Though still having a hard time understanding that phrase...

  • Okay, I'm not British so I quiet don't understand what he says ar 5:40 which was supposed to be the punch line. Someone tell me.

  • @yobrotherofut The whole joke is that the guy who had his shoes taken ended pissing into the rival supporters bovril. The guys drank piss.

  • It was a taxi driver who brought peace to Ireland.

  • for the love of god, i thought it was john cleese until i heard his name. they look so similar.

  • @mattybock No but they have something in common, both were once very funny but now they are sad old men who only amuse imbiciles.

  • @widlad7 then clearly i'm an imbecile because i still find billy hilarious, even his older stuff that i've watched so many times

  • Felixq78

    i don't know if you ever stop by this vid, but can u please keep your brown-noser's in line, i don't know why they feel so passionately about an innocuous comment not even aimed at them, i assume they must be internet associates of yours....but the fact that they feel so "touched" about my opinion on ppl who don't like sport speaks volumes about the type of ppl they are....they're giving you a bad name...

  • Reminds me of the time I took a scouse mate to see Liverpool v West Ham at Upton Park back in 81. Liverpool scored and he jumped up and punched the air wildly, shouting "YES" as he did so. The words were scarcely out of his mouth when he realised that the entire ground was silent except for him. If looks could kill...

    We ended up having to sneak out before the end of the match because he genuinely feared for his safety.

  • wow...he has to tell us when the punchline comes?

    what is that? comedy for retards?

  • I'll never understand the Old Firm, so don't try to explain it to me. I don't see the point in begrudging yer fellow countrymen just cos he supports the other team. Fucking stupid, I'm glad I got out when I did, otherwise I would be like one of those brainless thugs punching fuck out of people who show the slightest sign of being the opposite of them.

  • @sayonarashadow21 hey! i am a rangers supporter ( protestant, mainly) my wife is a celtic supporter (catholic, mainly) i have four children, two baptised catholic, one baptised church of scotland and one baptised congregationalist. i have six grandchildren, five baptised catholic and one just about to be baptised baptist. my two sons shared a room with rangers colours on one side and celtic colours on the other. when the teams meet we all get together, as a family and have a great time. no probs

  • @MrJimmyboy1972 jesus christ ure family sounds mental lol :-)

  • @scotland1989able during the game! after its all cuddles

  • @MrJimmyboy1972 haha qaulity! every1 in my family is celtic and partick thistle lol

  • @scotland1989able thats the gemme

  • Respond to this video...  slightly!

  • @MrJimmyboy1972 need more people like u n ur family in the world!!! 

  • @MrJimmyboy1972 yeah, but your all related. you can get along fine. it's the nutters who are complete strangers thinking it's alright to punch fuck out of each other. I wasn't calling you one of those, the comment was directed at the ones who are

  • @sayonarashadow21 cheers! didnt take the comment that way, just thought that i would show, that, amongst the nutters there are some sane people just like you and me

  • @sayonarashadow21 I'd say about 99% of Old Firm supporters are not what you have described.

  • Stand up at it's best!

  • Orange is The Colour

  • @AlexCottrell I'm happy another Dutchman watched this video.

  • @GBXS Im not a Dutchman Im a Unionist and Believe in the Orange Order etc. im guessing you are though?

  • Put Et On!!!!!!. (Scottish Accent)

  • Yes Mr Conolly You Said It Rangers!!!!!!! and Cetic.

  • I think the rivalry is less about religion than it is about ethnicity... It's Irish versus English... The Celtic fans see the Ranger fans as being English like those who brutally oppressed their ancestors, while the Ranger fans see the Celtic Fans as beneath them, as Irish peasants

  • @Wamz1978 Wrong.

  • @fionndan ok, so its entirely about religion then? that makes it incredibly stupid... I could understand if it was a deep seated Irish resentment of Anglican and Scot oppression... but Catholic vs. Protestant? that's dumb

  • @Wamz1978 Wamz 1978you are correct to an extent the rivalry is more an Irish Immigrant thing than it is about the Catholic vs Protestant thing.

  • @CoplandNutter thats kind of what I figured... Im of 100% Irish ancestry but Im from America, so I've only heard the Ireland-based viewpoint from older relatives... so I was merely guessing that similar issues are involved with the Glascgow situation, like Northern Ireland... apparantley fionndan disagrees, but Id like to hear his perspective as I get the impression he's from up there

  • @Wamz1978 I was born and raised in central Scotland about 20 miles from Glasgow. I was raised a Catholic and attended Catholic schools although my family is mixed Presbyterian (Church of Scotland) and Catholic. Catholicism is largely, although not exclusively, associated with Irish identity in central Scotland, especially in the Strathclyde area.

    The 'Celtic-Rangers' problem is a mixture of a violent historical context, sectarianism and social deprivation leading to tribal football loyalties.

  • Comment removed

  • @Wamz1978 Like many things in life it is not simple. It most certainly is not about theological convictions. It is about politics, identity, tribalism. I said you were wrong as you seem to be using the wrong terms. It is not about Irish vs English. The stereotypical Rangers fan in Central West Scotland does not see himself as English - perhaps you meant British. But its more complicated than that. Sectarianism in Glasgow was largely imported from Ulster (and wider Ireland) in the 19th century.

  • @fionndan I meant british and I meant Loyalist... basically what you said is what I was getting at... It sounds to me like a sort of micrchasm of "The Troubles" played out in a football game, which is all I was saying... I'm an American of 100% Irish descent. all my grandparents were Irish, specifically from Sligo, Kerry, Monaghan and Longford... so I speak as someone passionately sympathetic to the Irish people, I meant no offense

  • @Wamz1978 I really didn't take any offence, not at all. So we're grand. I too have Irish ancestry - Donegal, Mayo, Galway. The point is that only by a deep understanding of the problems posed by politics in Ulster and central west Scotland can we as a society hope to progress forward. I do not want any children I have growing up exposed to Glasgow's sectarianism, even if it has historically given Celtic Rangers games a lot of extra spice !

  • @Wamz1978 I don't know if you've been to Glasgow or to Belfast before but if not, it would be a good idea for a trip. It not going to be like Disneyland but it'll give you some perspective and folk are really friendly !. You could use the trip to go and see Celtic play Rangers - I take it you'd be green ! good man ! You could also visit (again?) the places your ancestors came from further south.

    Back to Billy Connolly - he was just given the 'Freedom of the city of Glasgow'. Legend.

  • @fionndan I definitely plan to take a trip over there one of these days, its very important to me. And yes I'm green! Thanks for the informative response too, i appreciate it! and yes, Billy Connolly is a hilarious man

  • a legend of a man :D

    best experience in the world is an old firm match theres no greater rivalry

  • WHO ARE THE THIRTEEN HUMORLESS PRICKS WHO RATED THIS DOWN?

  • @TheRis81 probably 13 rangers fans

  • Hilarious! wonderful joke Billy :)

  • I bloody love this.

  • rangers mean queens park rangers ??

  • @lironlww No. Glasgow Rangers from the Scottish Premier League. Queens Park Rangers are from London and play in the English Championship League (old second division.)

  • @Wiser72 yes you right i was wrong

  • he looks like my brother at 1:42

  • He looks like a pirate in his picture on the youtube video thing. d(:

  • <3 Big Yin. Funniest person the world shall ever know.

  • well worth the wait

  • What show is this from?

  • Excellent the best comedian ever

  • Do we really live on a planet where "Football Violence" has become a multi-Billion Euro business? Films like "The Football Factory", "Away Days" & "The Damned United" have all hinted, spoke and shown us, but do we believe it? Sounds a little "Conspiracy Theory" to me, but to you it is the very structure of news media coverage of "Soccer Violence" that leads everyone to the fact which in itself is the question. Football Hooligan is in the dictionary, for fucks sake!

  • "Team sports are an evil distraction to society. If the ignorant masses used the energy they waste on football, cricket, baseball etc etc to explore the political and social ills that oppress them we'd have a better world. Grown men dressing up in ridiculous team colours blowing whistles and clacking clackers yelling abuse at their fellow man over a stupid ball game, how pathetic, what a joke."

    Have you read the Brothers Karamazov by any chance?

  • @FatherWarhol And then there's Elias Canetti: Crowds and Power

  • @FatherWarhol did you get abused as a child by any chance? Your bitterness suggest it is so...

  • @FatherWarhol u sound like teetotalling bore of a man. an unfit, child molesting, sermon bothering, bible bashing, preaching wanker. in fact u dont wank, cos u believe this to be a sin. what about child fucking? is that not a sin? or is that accepted now in catholic culture? its seems to be pretty ubiqitous now. for your information, teamsports are good for the community, encourage fitness and social life, brings happiness to poverty stricken africans and south americans and nations as a whole

  • @FatherWarhol ~ It's not our fault you can get a bird...stop passing your insecurities off on the rest of the world : )

  • piss off ya toffee nosed egg chaser.rugby's for posh private school pricks

  • @Lennon1874 Little bit harse. and untrue. i go to a public school but still play for my club. what team sports have you ever played? wait, world of warcraft doesn't count.

  • @felixq78. Could i just point out that rugby is the best spectator sport in the world. In football, if a fan sat with opposite team's supporters he'd be heckled and abused for the whole match however, from personal expericence i can tell you, You could sit anywhere in the whole stadium and you could even have a conversation with the other team. This is true at an international level.

  • @LittleRedGuitar .......I heard something once that is simple but true......Rugby is a game played by men and watched by men......Football is played by boys, and watched by boys. Can't say any football fan has done anything to ever disprove that fact!

  • @LazyScott99 No, Rugby is a thugs game played by gentlemen. Football is a gentlemen's game played by thugs.

  • @LazyScott99

    I heard a slightly different version....

    it was, "rugby is a shit game played by thicko's, while football is a wonderful game played by everyone"...or something like that...

  • Team sports are an evil distraction to society. If the ignorant masses used the energy they waste on football, cricket, baseball etc etc to explore the political and social ills that oppress them we'd have a better world. Grown men dressing up in ridiculous team colours blowing whistles and clacking clackers yelling abuse at their fellow man over a stupid ball game, how pathetic, what a joke.

  • @felixq78 Calm it janet, if the world was your way we'd all be dull grey basterds with nae joy and a fucking boring lifestyle, if someone has a passion for something let them and stop being a fucking dour-faced buzz kill.

  • @felixq78 team sports give people the chance to be part of something you prick. Your just bitter because you were shite at them you pansy. Pathetic, your not far off!

  • @felixq78 i agree with 'djtee2k7' and 'JoeC2208'...

    You're probably just a bitter dude who failed at sport, so you became "mr conspiracy guy" in a desperate attempt to make yourself relevant to something....

    I've seen your types before...

  • @supahdupahguy81 I've seen your types as well, using words like "Dude" and you're probably from Kil-fucking-marnock, you pretentious little wanker.

  • @JanineRobin

    "using words like "Dude"

    so what i said dude? you're trying too hard...

    tyou have no idea what "type" of person i am you fucking idiot....go do some exercize you fat bastard...

  • @supahdupahguy81 lol read your own message again "you have no idea what type of person i am". Then you follow it by typing "go do some exercize (sic) you fat bastard"

    What a wanker. Go say "hey" to your dudes.

  • @JanineRobin

    Well done, you tried very hard to be witty, but you failed......8/10 for effort tho.....it should be obvoius why i called you a fat bastard, given the context of your initial reply...perhaps time you re-evaluated your role in life, tubby.....?

  • @supahdupahguy81 ok enlighten me and the entire world. How did you assess my weight from a text reply on YouTube.

    This I have GOT to read lol.

  • @JanineRobin

    I said "given the context of your initial reply\', you know, you felt compelled to tell me that i was wrong for telling some conspiracy theory lunatic that he came across bitter for hating sport...im guessing he's probably fat, & im guessing you are too for defending him....i clearly must have over-estimated your ability to draw that logical conclusion, as you needed it to be explained to you in detail, stop bothering me now....

  • @supahdupahguy81 just shut up supadupahguy81, you sound like a total prick. watch billy connolly, he's funny, you're not.

  • @AlexisCapri

    Who the flying fuck are you? have i upset all of 'felixq78's' rabid sycophants or something? this is a youtube comments page, get over yourselves u fucking no-marks....

  • amazing

  • What's the name of the drink he pisses in? I don't know how to spell it.

  • BOVRIL, now go an get me one.

  • Thanks. And I'll leave the shoe.

  • @MythMiles Bovril. Oh so Tasty beef-flavoured hot drink. also can be used to make gravy. Yech, right?

  • That is my favourite punchline ever.

  • I very funny album

    My name is fritz these are not real tits and I'm with the C.I.A.

    THe Vaseline salesman must be one of the funniest things ever

  • 5:40.... I laughed sooooooo hard!!!! hahaha

    Billy Connolly is by FAR the best!!

  • i got this on cassette legendary

  • HAHAH!! Friggin worth the wait to that punch line hah!

  • Great kicker!!!!

  • that punch line was fantastic

  • hillarious.....can anyone tell me what show this is....i'm also looking for the bit where he had a medical check up....