Added: 2 years ago
From: vlogbrothers
Views: 150,828
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:
see all

All Comments (2,409)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • I'm Finnish, and I can't get over the way you say Tea Makipaa (or Mäkipää here in Finland). It sounds so, so weird to my Finnish ears.

  • i am allergic to red meat and can only eat birds and some fish so chicken T.V is a good idea :) (and no im not kidding about being allergic to red meat)

  • Oh he mentioned Finalnd! Oh! That is so cool!

  • Neither John... you forgot that people used to farm chickens... you know in the day light? and you know... if fields? I'm a vegetarian but if I ever were to eat meat again it would be meat that was locally produced and the animals were farmed how they were suppose to be! In the fields, running freely, and eating organic.

  • "Sweetie, you know I love you, but you're just not a two buttons kind of guy."- Sarah the Yeti

  • That is sooooo funny! I just love laughing. Thanks.

  • Nothing quite like cross stitching My Little Pony:FiM while listening to the Vlogbrothers

  • Chicken cannibalism is also really common, according to Food, Inc.

  • 1:45 . . . Genius.

  • 94 people are giant squids of anger.

  • WHY ARENT WE DISCUSSING HOW THE FACT THAT CHICKENS LIKE TV FOR CHICKENS CONTRADICTS THE MESSAGE OF THE ANGLERFISH SONG?

  • Oh, The Yeti was so right. Also, I vote for option three: free range chickens.

  • 1. TV for chickens to avoid homicidal psychosis - NOT.

    2. No chickens at all - DOUBLE not!

    I go for option 3: Chickens being raised on grass, doing things chickens do, eating things chickens eat (like bugs and grass and stuff), living the sweet life of chickeny bliss. Like how Joel Salatin at Polyface Farms raises HIS chickens. - CHECK!

  • The 94 dislikes are all the farmers that are like "Dang you, John Green for exposing the way that we farmers keep our chickens!" And then the 2,980 are the chickens going "Cluckcluckcluck cluck cluckitycluckcluck! ( We love chicken TV! )"

  • Ahahah xD

  • @Vlogbrothers Is Ginger Nebula a good band name? What about Nerd Nebula?

  • If only we can somehow un-domesticate chickens...

  • @AlexNuchiha the "Red Junglefowl" looks ridiculously close, and doesn't sound very domestic :)

  • @AlexNuchiha

    It may not be possible to un-domesticate chickens per-se, but gradually exposing them to increasing environmental stress will cause them to evolve new survival mechanisms, or awaken the old suppressed ones.

    I was going to say that this would be unfortunately result in a lot of dead chickens, but then I remembered what we do with chickens. And that they are delicious.

  • I want to keep chickens in my backyard, but my city gov't says I can't... ...so I'm gonna break the law.

  • I have chickens of my own and before that I would only buy free range eggs for this reason, we dont need to give these chickens such a hard life they want to kill them selfs and other sad chickens around them, just buy free range eggs

  • This is my favorite vlogbrothers video, not sure why

  • NO CHICKENS

  • I get more eggs than I can use from the ones in my backyard. Hidden third option = solution.

  • Comment removed

  • If we don't have chickens, how will we know what everything else tastes like? All things that taste like it will now be indescribable... We'll have a human race doomed to say "It tastes like... I don't know. What does it taste like?"

  • Instead of having pet dogs and cats, why not pigs and chickens? They aren't as high matience as many of the pets we own, pets chickens instead of guinea pigs or house rabbits bred to eat, chickens make fantastic cute pets <3

  • Well considering the fact that chickens' meat and eggs are like really high in demand, i think tv for chickens is a pretty good idea. It decreases chicken life suck

  • It's like Plato's cave...for chickens

  • 1. Mr Green can reveal two buttons worth of chest in good taste. Sexy without looking douche-y.

    2. Notwithstanding, you present a completely false dichotomy: There are several subspecies of chickens that live without any human intervention. They can fly (a little), find food, and they have sharp beaks and talons for defense.

    We are not restricted to a no-wild-chicken world if people are willing to have roosters crowing next to their bedroom windows at 4 am.

  • I think that a world with chickens would be better, and not just for food and eggs and such. Aren't chickens a big part of making flu vaccines or something? We don't need another pandemic like in 1918. Also, since chickens don't live in the wild anymore, it wouldn't screw up the food chain or anything, right?

  • Anyone else feel bad that we got rid of wild chickens and that they all live to just be eaten? I feel like we fucked with nature. Then again taking a look outside of a window is, in effect, fucking with nature, as windows aren't natural, and neither is the house that it's mounted in, or the neighborhood it's overlooking.

  • @TheVerybored777 thats depressingly true :/  but i thank you for being aware of something that so many others dont seem to be :)

  • I would choose a world without chickens. Unless there is another use for them besides human consumption (which is unnecessary anyway since protein is actually quite abundant in plants).

  • @Dbkit I think returnign them to dark after having been out in the open would cause them more stress than not having sunlight at all. ???

  • A world without chickens would suck for more reasons than the lack of yummy, yummy chicken.

    Four words: No. More. Flu. Vaccines.

    Chickens are kinda, very, extremely important in the manufacturing of flu vaccines. And I think we can all agree that influenza is a major source of worldsuck. 1918, anyone? Major suckage.

    So I'm pro-Tv for Chickens if it makes their dismal lives a little better.

  • Free range chickens. Simple.

  • I think a pretty good solution would be the same conclusion Hank came to in the video where he eats meatless corndogs with mayonnaise. You can still eat eggs, just eat less... Less chickens, less eggs, less homicide, more awesome.

  • @Dbkit would make them very stressed when in the cages.

  • I CANT SAY THIS! Keep saying TV for Children instead of TV for Chickens.

  • GNFAB!

  • @no4macaroni The answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg is Velociraptor.

  • everyone who is able to because of adequate space and allowed to by law ought to own a few chickens if they eat eggs frequently. i have 9 and they get to run free and eat grass in my yard, and when they start laying I'll get 9 eggs a day!!!! every family could more than cover their egg needs with that. it is an investment but chickens are beautiful and interesting and make wonderful pets if you hold them and spend time with them.

  • The commerical egg farms are kept dark to induce puberty and laying in the chickens, not necessarily to keep them calm.

  • it's chicken reality TV; showing them the things they think that they could be doing if they weren't in front of the TV getting fat so the food industry can feed off of their resources.

  • I have pet chickens :) I'd love to take them inside and get them to watch Doctor Who tomorrow, but I'm not sure my parents will agree :/

  • Someday I will grow up and have some chickens in my backyard and thereby help fix the world a little bit.

  • this makes me feel bad about eating chickens now. I mean, I feel bad about eating pigs and cows, but now I feel bad about eating chickens too! I may yet become a vegitarian

  • *licks toes*

  • Chickens will rule the world one day!

  • Two buttons!!!!!!!!

  • Like most things - grow yer own!

  • OMG to John's pronounciation of Mäkipää :D

    Greetings from Finland!

  • haha! chickens who love chickens

  • Allegory of the Cave much?

  • here's a question. who's gonna go extinct first? chickens or humans. and yes, this could potentially be identically as puzzling as "what came first? the chicken or the egg?" which i would also like to see answered

  • @no4macaroni because there ARE more chickens in the world than humans

  • No chickens. It's better to have no chickens then chickens who will have misersable lives. Unless they invent chicken counselling... DFTBA

  • I thought this was a video about chickens watching tv or something, not some 30 year old dude talking into a camera by himself in his basement

  • People should maybe eat a little less livestock and poultry in general. More humane practices could be instituted if we consumed less of very energy-costly meat. Then we could pursue mrcameradude69's "Secret Hidden Option 3".

  • A, chickens are yummy.

  • @CrackenX

    Don't patronise me, my comments stand.

    You can't wash your hands of social responsibility by donating to charity.

    If Vlog brothers want to make a difference to society then start a public awareness campaign.

    Encourage restaurant and cafe patrons to ASK "Where do there eggs come from, Are they from caged Birds?"

    If they are caged eggs, pay for the food and send it back to the kitchen. I don't think Vlog brothers have the strength of character to make a real difference

  • @Harryandleo Go away.

  • i really want to punch him

  • You had an opportunity to stand up against corporate greed, animal abuse and animal cruelty and you took the weakest option ... attempted cheap laughs.

    Have some back bone and stand up for integrity and compassion.

    You are a gutless joke.

  • @Harryandleo You clearly missed his message. He's stimulating discussion about the ethicality of modern poultry farming. And he's succeeded. Just because he made a few jokes while discussing the issue doesn't mean he's not treating it with integrity. You see, 'truth resists simplicity'. While humour can be used for cruel purposes, it can also serve to enlighten.

    Also, this year alone the vlogbrothers raised over $100,000 for charity. What was that you said about compassion?

  • It wouldn't be homicide... I'd be, like, poultracide.

  • That's what they need to do for the Evil Baby Orphanage; just make 'em watch hours and hours of old sitcoms.

  • I disagree with the Yeti! You are a two buttons kind of guy. :D Can we get one day a week of two button guy?  DFTBA

  • I choose B. Better no chickens than miserable chickens.

    And c'mon how many species go extinct EVERY FRIGGN DAY because we pollute the earth so much? We haven't even explored most of them before they die out. [Sad, isn't it?]

  • ive actually made a band ( imaginary) thanks 2 you ( in a good way) called t.v for chikens

  • Free the chickens. Let them live on a protected reserve to live peaceful lives!

  • Chickens need T.V. because, of course, they are delicious. And I want to eat them.

  • In my own opinion, chickens should not be in the world cos A) They scare the frick out of me. Seriously, I have a massive phobia of them. I sound like a wuss but whatever. B) Erm, my second point is the same as the first. They are scary :/

  • amazing

    what about free range?

  • Comment removed

  • Are those really our only two options? If those are the only two options than I think it's better to keep the chickens and let them watch their TV. But I would like more chickens (and other food animals for that matter) to not just have to settle for watching their dreams on TV, like most humans do in my opinion, but to have a chance to live those dreams themselves. I wish this for humans and chickens alike. I guess in some ways humans and chickens aren't so different.

  • i'd take chicken tv over no chickens anyday. whatever it takes to make the chickens happy and in the end i still get to eat them (i know that sounds mean, but i don't eat many vaegatables... i'd be very hungry and sad with no chickens)

  • in watching this video, it occurred to me that the word homicidal, when broken down to its latin roots, means the killing of man. so, using my slight knowledge of latin, i came up with gallicide from gallus- the latin word for rooster. it turns out that i was only slightly off: the term for the killing of chickens or turkeys is gallinicide. gallicide is also a real word, though meaning the killing of fowls.

  • This made me laugh ssoooo much :')

  • I was just reading about chickens in a bird book today!

    Anyone who owns chickens and knows anything about them knows that chickens are smart and each one is its own individual. They need to be treated well. First of all, humans need to learn to eat less meat. Especially in America, we eat too much. It's not healthy and not environmental (Or often ethical considering the way meat animals are treated). But those animals that we do eat need to live the best possible lives while they're around.

  • Homicidal Chickens would be a great name for a band.

  • ahhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhHHHHHHh­hhhhhh lol that totally got my attention :D

  • Here's another question to follow up on that last one.

    No more "Why did the chicken cross the road jokes" -'cause y'know no kid will know what a chicken is unless they take biology/anatomy of historical creatures-

    or

    A world in which chickens turkeys and any other breed animal that has a tendency to commit homicide / accidental homicide (which I find hilarious) are brainwashed and trained (for lack of a better word) to be... Awesome to one another.

    Your Choice.

  • i agree with the answer at 2:36

    the one were we would have chickens

  • This makes me a very, very sad nerdfighter. :( I'm a vegetarian, and this is why. Chicken farms. Cow farms. Aminal farms. (yes, aminal) It's cruel. Absolutly cruel.

  • Umm, yeah. Chickens roam free in Kawai where they have gon feral because they have no natural enemies, there.

  • Curious, has KFC set up a nation's worth of branches there?

  • chickens are too tastey to give up 

  • a world with less chickens, all of which are free range. And I wonder if the woman showed them other tv shows to test if they are responding to seeing chickens or just to watching tv in general.

  • mmm...i love these turkeynuggets... beefnuggets... porknuggets... lambnuggets... vealnuggets... ostrichnuggets... buffalonuggets... same reason why americans won't eat cats or dogs...chickens will be the next pet craze *_*

  • Do you ever shut your mouth?

  • Whoa whoa whoa! How dare you over simplify Van Gough's Starry Starry Night! Dude, the hell.

  • no chickens. definitely.

  • Ummm... the Red Junglefowl, a South East Asian species of pheasant that includes all varieties of domesticated chicken, still thrives in the wild. So, no need to worry about the species, just possibly some of the boring, bloated, in-bred varieties we raise for food.

  • So there I was, on the brink of vegetarianism, and now I've listened to you, and o.O.

    Actually, I'm still confused. I thought I wasn't anymore, but that was a lie. It seems like we're still pretty ridiculously mean to chickens. So putting myself in the place of the chickens, would I prefer a world in which all of humanity was being tormented or a world in which humanity was extinct?  I think the tormented one. But we should watch out for a chicken uprising. It could happen. Maybe. >.>

  • @BeeHermione911 [ Hey! You're going to be a vegetarian! Vegan or vegetarian.(vegans don't eat any dairy products) I am just a vegetarian but we get are eggs from people that own a few chickens and have extra eggs. I get my milk from a local dairy farm. Oh, and we can easly inbreed the chickens to get them back to their wild state.

  • @supervegetariangeek thanks for the info =] 

  • My, a bit past the question of the "chicken or the egg," aren't we?

  • In a world without chickens, what will all our video game characters kick?

  • Chickens are my very favourite animals, so I want them to exist, and I want them to be happy!

  • Stop creating evil chickens, battery farmers of the world. I beg of you.

    Get selectively breeding some 'survival characteristics' back into the species. Chickens are awesome and we are driving them from the planet.

    Damn commercial demands.

  • Wouldn't chickens killing other chickens be poultricide, not homicide? Just wondrin'

    BTW aww, cramped chickens are cramped!

  • We should breed the chickens to have natural defenses again, then stop driving them to murder.

  • its better to be then not to be

  • you said "and etcetera". The original and is unnecissary.

  • i vote we just aught to have homicidal chickens

  • you are a two-buttons-kind-of-guy :D

  • I thought you were talking about some Japanese lady because the name sounded all goofy and silly. Then you said "Finnish" and I thought: "Hmm.. I'm Finnish. Should I be getting something?" And then I got it. You speaking Finnish is a hoot!

  • You could argue that the questions raised about tv for chickens could also be asked about tv for humanity. And wild chickens still do exist you know.

  • I'm in a band called TV for Chickens!

  • @skatenotwar So am I! Oh wait... Same band sorry.

  • willies>willies>willies>willie­s>willies>willies>willies>will­ies>willies>willies>willies>wi­llies>willies>willies>willies>­willies>willies>willies>willie­s>willies>willies>willies>will­ies>willies>willies>willies>wi­llies>willies>willies>willies>­willies>willies>willies>willie­s>willies>willies>willies>will­ies>willies>willies>willies>wi­llies>willies>willies>willies>­willies>willies>willies>willie­s>willies>willies>willies>will­ies>willies>willies>willies>wi­llies>willies>willies>willies>­willies>willies>

  • 2 buttons ftw

  • Comment removed

  • I say a world where chickens run free is the best! :)

  • 1) TV for chickens should have a laughtrack

    2) homicidal chickens just save you the job of killing them.. they should teach them how to deep-fry their victims

    3) I love chicken, but I wouldn't mind if they went extinct. although if we can breed all their natural defense mechanisms out of them, we could also breed their ability to feel pain or anger or anything bad.. if they're just on a cage, why do they need such a complex brain?

  • For the first time in our one sided relationship, we are in a giant fight.

    This answer is so easy, and one in which I feel that any kind, human, intelligent nerd fighter would agree with.

    A world without cruelty trumps all. Id rather there be no chicken than a tortured one.

  • Instead of tv for chickens they should actually let those poor chickens experience the world outside for themselves. They would still give us eggs and meat it just would be more healthier that is all. They deserve to live a good life in the sunshine after all they will be sacrificing their lives for us so the least we can do is let them enjoy the 4 years they get to live. My 2 chickens are going on 8 yrs.

  • By sourcing your chickens from a farm where they're well cared for you can boycott large intensive chicken farms where they're mistreated.

  • what if we let chickens walk around and peck at the ground and do chicken stuff

  • I say Secret Hidden Option 3 - organic eggs and organically reared chickens, with no TV and access to chicken activities such as pecking the ground and seeing the sunlight.

    I know -  gasp! - surely there's no such thing?! There is. Trust me. It only costs a little more and you get to feel good about the non-murderous nature of the animal you're eating.

  • @mrcameradude69 It's worth noting that the photographs I showed were taken at cage-free, organic egg farms.

    If you let chickens peck at the ground and see sunlight, you cannot grow as many eggs in America as people in America want to eat. The size of our egg appetite NECESSITATES inhuman farming practices.

    Unless you are growing your own chickens and eating their eggs (or buying eggs from someone you know), they live in conditions like what you see in this video. -John

  • @vlogbrothers John--As newly minted backyard chicken owners ourselves, we wouldn't discount the "unless you are growing your own chickens and eating their eggs" option so quickly. It's definitely doable, even in suburbia. So far the five of them are less maintenance per animal than a dog, a bit more than a cat. :) Just sayin'.

  • @vlogbrothers but they wont go extinct! you silly... = )

    just for the record:

    I like having cheap chicken in the store. And do not care if the chicken species are destroyed to keep it that way (It would be really hard for that to happen).

  • @vlogbrothers

    I disagree. We vote with every purchase we make in a supermarket, or farmer's market, or by paying a neighbour with naturally reared outdoor chickens for their eggs. If enough people demand organic eggs, and the term 'organic' demands high welfare standards to be used, more chicken farms using organic methods will by neccessity be created to supply this demand.

    Are you telling me there's seriously not enough land in USA to support this?? They really don't require that much space.

  • @mrcameradude69 actually its not about land. Growing things ungenetically engineered/organic doesn't create a large enough output to sustain neither the farmer nor the consumer. The ratio of farmer to ppl is ridiculous, and the number of farms is shrinking. As Hank has mentioned, making 1 pound of beef takes a lot of resources, adding hormones and stuff which have no effect on the final product, actually decreases the amount of resources for that pound of beef, i assume the same is for chickens

  • @vlogbrothers That is why I have my own chickens. They eat dirt and bugs and can see the sky and they poop, everywhere! Chickens just don't care who is watching. When it's time to go, they go.

  • @vlogbrothers John, Which is why to the non-rhetorical question I can only answer- a world with no chickens at all. I *think* the FDA has "cage free" at 11 sq. inches per chicken. I am stopping right now as this is my soapbox issue and could turn radically ugly in a flash. Thanks for this vid, hits a major spot for me. DFTBA (and vegan too!)!

  • sounds lame but isn't

    big-fan

  • Comment removed

  • @bumby15 - And I would like to appologize to you for accidently disliking your comment because it is above the other guy's. Whoops.

  • TV for chickens.

    Sorry, I'm kind of Human centric and dig the whole maintaining a healthy food crop.

  • @trapjohnson - I would like to appologize for disliking your comment a little too quickly. While I feel rather strongly about saving the chickens from their horribal chicken hell, I must acknowledge that it is not a bad thing to be more concerned about people than chickens.

  • -is Finnish- I'm not gonna go into the wrongful pronunciation of Tea "Makipaa" but you might wanna correct the spelling of her last name, it's Mäkipää.

    LOL xD I'm so sorry for knit picking!

  • there are homisidle chickans I did not know that(sorry I cant spell)

  • "You're just not a two-button kinda guy."

    HAHA!!

    That's classic.

  • The answer is fairly obvious: buy freerange eggs and chicken meat. This means vastly improved lives for the chickens and far fewer ethical issues.

  • 1:23 OH, SNAP. John, did you just make a snarky comment toward my one true love Vincent van Gogh? If so, PREPARE TO BE SHUNNED.

  • we may breed chickens because they taste good, but we also inject them all sorts of stuff (just like all other farmed meats). We as humans will give ourselves cancer from all this chemical modification.

  • but it taste soooo good

  • Did you say 'frackin'?

    Hahaha...Do you watch Battlestar Galactica, or was that a coincidence?

  • I agree with you in the "chickens-would-go-extinct-if-­we-didn't-need-them" part. Same goes with sheep. An animal which jumps off the nearest cliff when startled (and sheep tend to get startled often) wouldn't outsmart natural selection if men didn't invent fences. In fact, eating meat saves animals. Vegans, you are sick murderers.

  • I wonder how muc time you would do for killing chickens? Like if you went to a chicken farm with a machine gun and shot a bunch of chickens, how much trouble would you be in?

  • Well, at a chicken farm it would be like destryoing someone means of living. That farmer gets income from selling chickens so you would have to pay a bunch of money in damages but I'm not sure if you would get charged with animal cruelty because they are menat to be killed and eaten and already have "crap lives"...

  • Like I always say something worth doing is worth doing badly and I consider living something worth doing.

  • Surely a homiciidal chicken is one that kills humans? What would it be to kill chickens... umm... hen-icidal maybe?

  • i could not live in a world witth no chickens! good god!

  • For a second I was disappointed at not seeing a clip from TV for Chickens until I realized it would just be chickens running around doing chicken stuff.

  • I was still a bit disappointed, cause I wanted to see the chickens watching the chickens on tv, very cute and funny!

  • homicidal aggression is what make a man stand for what he beleives.

  • i prefer the third, unspoken option, a world where people ate free-range chickens and associated egg products. it's less intensive, better for the chickens and better for your egg-related cholesterol levels as the higher prices will encourage reduced consumption of eggs/chicken meat. i also promise that organic, free-range chicken is much more awesome tasting than homicidal intensively-reared chicken.

  • THINK OF THE CHICKENS!!!

  • a world with no chickens at all

  • hahaha homicidal chickens

  • Haha, it's so funny when you try to pronounce Tea Mäkipää :D. I'm Finnish by the way - if not obvious ;).

  • Uh, chicken TV! duh! What else would I eat if murderous chickens were gone? pssh, stupid...

  • Pimp My Coop. MTV Chicken coops.

  • Ahahaha, you are so hilarious John. Giant squids of anger!

    I'd rather chickens be free-ranging. And I'm not convinced that they would become extinct if we stopped breeding them for food. I definitely don't want them to be extinct!

  • Uhh.... The first one? Can I has cookie now?

  • Did he say chicken's for tv dinners?

  • Has anyone read Plato's A Allegory of the Cave? This is like the creepy variation of the story... but... with...chickens...

  • As a small time chicken famer (meat and egg), I have to disagree that they would go extinct. There are breeds that are less reliant on extinct but most are quite capable of dealing with life outdoors and all it entails like most birds.

  • I agree, plus there are too many chicken hobbyists who keep chickens for show or for eggs/meat or even as pets.

  • ...she was right.

  • aw world with tv for chickens.......

  • Chickens are really good. I'd rather have TV for chickens where chickens...yada yada yada.

    Anyone can be a two button guy, John. I think you can pull it off.

  • We must have chicken. It is like all I eat. I dont eat red meat, so please do not take my chicken away from me. :(

  • CHICKENZ RULE....

  • Sounds like chickes of the Allegory of the Cave.

  • The real question is: are the chickens evolving into humans? I mean... they're on the path. No natural light, addicted to television, kept in enclosed areas until they turn homicidal. What is the world coming to when we brainwash the chickens to be us?!

  • A world with no chickens at all, definitely. The wild chicken is already dead, if there ever was such a thing, or else lives on in grouse and quail and the like. We have to let go. Change is a part of the natural order of the Earth; it's when we try to hold on to things by, for example, stifling wildfires until California became an annual tinderbox, that we really screw them up.

    And I love it when you tell us Stories of the Yeti. :)

  • haha the yeti's comment

  • it is then ironic that today's television makes me want to kill someone.

  • LOL on the Yeti's comment!! LOL

  • T