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  • I'm pretty sure Hubbard created a religion just to prove that he could, and that people would be dumb enough to follow it.

  • Fool! While you were still learning how to SPELL YOUR NAME!!! I was being trained...TO CONQUER GALAXIES!!

  • check out john travolta's accent. and so in the year 3000 the irish gave up their whisky and advanced to taking over the world!

  • Oh, nevermind. I see it.

  • What did he shoot?

  • "It's become a Noel Coward play!"

    xD

  • I know this makes me completely insane, but for my 25th birthday I arranged a showing of this with my friends and it was a hoot. I mean, it's completely and utterly awful (make no mistake), but you get some chums and some booze together and it's a good time had by all.

  • @JamesOhGoodie If you played a drinking game to where you had to drink some beer every time there was a dutch angle in this movie, you'd be faded pretty quick.

  • @lasoogneypubes You think that's bad? Look closely at any scene where the Psychlos are watching stuff on a monitor.  Even the stuff on the monitors is at a dutch angle.

    So let's recap: a shot that's alright at a dutch angle is watching stuff on a monitor that's ALSO at a dutch angle. That breaks so many rules of cinematography it's not even funny.

  • @JamesOhGoodie Hahaha I never noticed that. Dutch angles really aren't that cool and I remember about halfway through the movie I was actually starting to get a little pissed off because I was getting really tired of looking at everything sideways lol. Sounds like your birthday kicked ass btw.

  • @lasoogneypubes Oh you haven't heard the rest: We watched "Battlefield Earth" as part of a double feature with Mariah Carey's "Glitter" (my friends hate me so much now).

    The funny part? "Glitter" was the more painful movie to sit through. Oh it starts off hilariously bad ("Sylke, I didn't know you could blow like that"), but in the last third it becomes achingly sincere and you realize "Oh crap, Mariah Carey actually believes in this schlock".

  • @JamesOhGoodie Nice. I heard that movie was awful too. I'll have to check it out sometime lol.

  • @lasoogneypubes Fair warning: the first half is absolutely hilarious. The second half onward is REALLY hard to get through, so stand tough. Friends and booze will help.

  • Yikes you guys. refrencing a pulp fiction quote inthis piece of shit just doesn't fit. It's like a bad taste in my mouth.

  • This movie is so fucking bad that they couldn't even make any good jokes.

  • no one took this script willingly. it is DM's vision, despite lies that the CO$ wasn't involved. he was on set everyday, and everyone who knows anything about DM, knows people do what he says. no questions asked.

  • this movie is a Scientologist wetdream... and it suck.

  • I've sat through some really awful movies, Manos: Hands of Fate, Plan 9, Robot Monster, the Star Wars prequels just to name a few, but this is the only movie that I have ever actually regretted watching. The Rifftrax was the only way I got through it.

  • What is this, I don't even...

  • Leave it up to L. Ron Hubbard to come up with the dumbest alien race ever.

  • @limbdarkening ...and leave it to Roger Christian and John Travolta to make it even dumber!

  • LET'S CALL GRANDMA!!!

  • this movie makes batman and robin look like oscar material

  • in tew owarzzzzz

  • What the hell did I just watch?

  • Back in 2000 when i was 18/19 i paid to see this piece of garbage in a theater as i was and still am a person obsessed with Sci-fi was expecting a great epic despite teh bad reviews, i remembered there was a scratch and win ticket for anyone who sees this and got nothing but i was suffering, squirming and wanting to get out of the theater but i paid good money to see this shit-feast then i felt dizzy after it was over, for i have never suffered through a movie like this in my life.

  • The book starts out pretty damn good. By the time your halfway through there is a thousand plots you have to keep up with, and the story changes so much it's like another book was given to me. Originaly hubbard wanted the story to be a series of books He only signed a contract to get ONE book published, he gummbled all his stories together because he was afraid they wouldn't publish anymore of his books. If you read this book, stop after humanity wins and it will be an ok read!

  • @ginko27  But still if Travolta hadnt ruined the original script and hired corey mendell the film could have been better, seince its basicly based on that first half of the novel... ... I havent read it yet, it was only 35 cents..

  • Would the movie get any better if you could fix the dutch angle. Like, a special television stand rocks your tv so everything on screen is horizontal...

  • Why do Pysclonians look like stuffed dreadlocked Klingons with 7 fingers?

  • Thank god for this riff, this movie is so bad it makes Leonard part 6 look like an oscar winner. I saw this turd in theaters when i was 19 and it sucked balls as i was suffering, i couldn't believe i wasted 8 bucks to see this.

  • @Johnlindsey289 I don't know. This and Leonard part 6 pretty much break even for me as the worst movies ever made. lol.

  • @TheAltair4

    This is Sci-fi's answer to Showgirls ain't that right? in fact like Cosby, Travolta did talk show skits where he told audiences to stay away from this movie, but some people didn't listened and it was a HUGE flop as i felt this movie was hurting me inside watching it and such a physically ugly stinker and to think Siskel and Ebert. Besides the book is a pale rip-off of Dune and nothing but scientology propaganda.

  • @Johnlindsey289 Travolta has NEVER said anything bad about the movie, and has tried to get a sequel made with funding from his own company. He did say that the movie was unfairly edited to remove Scientology undertones that he says weren't there.Also, in '09 he tried to strike a deal with the Syfy network to remake the movie into a 24 part series with the understanding that the series would be insured and backed by himself and The Church of Scientology so the network wouldn't loose money.

  • @ginko27

    Battlefield Earth is a terrible book anyway, Dune is way better as Herbert is way better and didn't had to throw some propaganda crap.

  • WORST MOVIE EVER.

  • did they release a Blu-ray version?

  • Ah, just HAD to reference Pulp Fiction. Awesome. :)

  • I love how when you read and investigate LRH people will dick ride and say he wrote Hollywood Blockbuster Hits that are the best on the big the big screen when if you look at the rankings in some places it is ranked as the #2 worse movie ever made AND it has a cast of fellow Scientologist.

  • ROFL at the end! a royale with cheese, coincidence?

  • i recently bought this rifftrax, but the netflix version of the movie was edited and nothing lined up! ARG!

  • "I know just the perfect way to celebrate." (Let's call Grandma!)

    "Our friendly bartender!" (Who kindly lend me a plaster cast of his face.)

    (gunshot) (My beloved sock puppet!)

    Those are brilliant jokes!

  • lmao "and give me a royale with cheese!"

  • I guess Zenu was on vacation

  • I Hear this is the worst movie of the Decade

  • @Cluebert The script writer recently told the New York Post that he regrets it.

  • Lol This movie is the equivalent of Action 52 on the NES.

  • When I attempted to read that 1,050 page piece of crap I didn't imagine the villain guy sounding nearly that gay.

  • @negrosaurus If your talking about the book, It;s only about 800 pages long. and its actually a good book, The movie ruined it.

  • How was the second half? I gave up around page 400. It really should have been a series of books.

  • @mst3k4evur The second half is quite good.

  • I don't think there was much that could have saved this movie. The novel itself was riddled with not-so-subtle messages on L. Ron's views, particularly the evil aliens being called Psychlos and the leaders of their race were a class known as Catrists. That's right. Psychlo Catrists. Say it together. Even the novel was a mess of self-induldged propaganda. But then again I could just be saying that because Xenu is my lord and master. Hail Xenu!

  • @TheBratKingJareth HAIL XENU

  • I swear if they took a competent director the film could have been pretty solid, give it a chance people that director ruined a film which had potential, if they plan a sequel it will be better I know it.

  • Tarvolta seems to act better when he is in drag and voicing a animated dog. Then again, those films (Hairspray and Bolt) had better material.

  • Yep, it all comes down to the script

  • "Fats Marely..."

  • "And give me a royal with cheese!" hahaha

  • lol from pulp fiction... good stuff

  • Along with being a charlatan, L. Ron Hubbard is a fucking hack.

  • @MrHorrorFan Charlatan? What the fucking fuck? Were you born in 1750!?

  • @Phelan666 Switzerland, 1790.

  • @MrHorrorFan

    Frank Herbert is better.

  • when i saw this as a kid, i liked it -.-

  • I LlKED WATERWORLD.. :(

    THEN AGAIN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD..

    MAYBE I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON..

  • YEA THATS TRUE

    SCHUMACHER DlD APOLOGIZE

    BUT HE ALMOST FUCKING KILLED BATMAN LIKE BANE WHEN HE BROKE HIS BACK

    IN THE SAME FUCKING 'ANTHOLOGY' THAT REVIVED HIM TO THE MASSES IN 1989

    ALTHO THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS REALLY BROUGHT HIM BACK BEFORE THAT

    IF IT WASNT FOR BATMAN'S LARGE LOYAL FANBASE HE'D BE GONE

  • The movie by itself already does a pretty good job of reminding you how bad it is.

  • Not only do his books transfer horribly to the big screen, but Hubbard was a horrible writer as well. His plots were very devoid of any emotion other than hate of psycologists(probably spelt that wrong) and cliche... but more than that he was a motherfucking douche bag who made teenage girls wait on him with his Sea Org.... should be called Sea Pedophile Orgy.

    And his writing sucks ass. Seventh grade level at best...

  • Plenty of great books have been made into shit movies. Moore's 'Watchmen', Bradbury's 'A Sound of Thunder', the Spielberg version of 'War of the Worlds' (HG Wells obviously), the recent 'Journey to the Center of the Earth' (Verne), all of these were great written works and subsequently moronic, pointless movies.

    The good thing about Hubbard is, his books are retarded trash to begin with, so the inevitably terrible movie is much easier to adapt.

  • That's not all true. Look at Lord of The Rings and The first War of the Worlds. Those were great films. Plus some of those films you named aren't bad. Watchmen was good but tried to be 2 much of a work of art & Journy to The Center of the Earth was fun. In fact if wasn't for The JttCotE movie, my cousin (who is about 13) would have never read the book. But I agree on your last phase.

  • I didn't say there weren't great films based on great books, there plenty of those as well, and I remember far more of them because I don't deliberately dwell on things I hated for whatever reason. I love the Bakshi animated version of 'Lord of the Rings', but I am not at all fond of the Jackson trilogy. Maybe you and I are on different plains, but 'Watchmen' was the most worthless and redundant MTV styled waste of time I have seen in ages. It was aggressively stupid and dumbed down.

  • @rckrockz  Not even 7th grade level. There is no grade level you can put on his books because they are so horribly written that nobody of any age would get through reading it.

  • @rckrockz= Scientology is a joke.

  • This movie made my head fall to my shoulder.

  • This movie is DUMB!

  • All the better for riffing.

  • I like John Travolta a lot I don't care if he's into that church or cult or whatever he's good actor. This was a p.o.s. movie though.

  • I agree. This movie is awful, and were it not for Rifftrax, it would stand forever as a scar on Travolta's film career.

  • Yes, and no other of his films would be considered humiliating to be in, NO OTHER OF THEM!

  • Barbarino came off like 2 metric tons of gay ham in this one.

  • I remember seeing this as a kid, like 8 or so, still doesn't make sense, just looks ridiculous even without riffs. WTF was JT thinking, i used to like him as an actor till i found out he was a scientologist. and if anyone supports scientology, get screwed. L Ron Hubbard was a C*nt

  • if you were 8 when you saw this you still are a kid...

  • is forest whitaker drinking mathadone just to get through the filming.

  • WE have to drink mathadone just to sit through this movie.

  • The terribleness of this movie makes me cry

    Thank you rifftrax for doing this. You make me proud.

  • Their site is great. They lampoon tons of awful movies, but it's much better than the MST3K stuff they used to do.

  • That depends on which season your talking about.

    rifftrax > most MST3K seasons

    last MST3K season > all things in existance

  • I'll have to check it out. thx

  • You rat brains don't know a good movie when you see one. I thought this is one of the best movies in entertainment history. Campy and nonsensical just like Bruce Cambell's The Evil Dead Series. This is a stage 3 alert, begin the Gastrodome termination sequence and happy hunting.

  • Let's call grandma!

    My beloved sock puppet!

  • they should only do this to bad films

  • lol the way how john says in two hours

  • lol in twohours

  • So you're here just to be a pain in the ass, then. Okay, good for you. Hope virginity and self-loathing works out for you.

  • Battlefield Earth may be a piece of shit film but Sci-Fi fanboys aided in its failure, out of fear that a film might compete for a share of the Sci-Fi market over their beloved Star Wars franchise. BWAH-HA-HA-HA! Eat a dick fanboys!!!

  • or it could just be the fact the John Travolta is a shitty director

  • John Travolta is a shitty actor and shitty producer. Roger Christian is the shitty director here. I'm glad we both agree that Revolta is shitty, though.

  • "sir, I made a mistake, please done shoot off my sock puppet"

  • Wow those stupid comments in the background were annoying.

  • LOL...

    So, what exactly did you think Rifftrax meant? Numbnuts...

  • I never implied that I didn't know what it meant bitch.

  • Watching this, you would NEVER guess that Forest Whitaker would go on to win an Oscar. And a Golden Globe. And however many other millions of shiny awards he also got for 'The Last King of Scotland'.

  • He must have been making up his career for being in this movie.

  • The Book is an important read. Hubbard was trying to convey what the Intl. Bankers are doing to enslave us in debt. At this juncture, I think it would be good to read the book in its entirety and realize who's actually enslaving us and particularly our (US) country right now!!

  • I'm glad that somebody else is awake and sees the truth!!! Just like Micheal Moore's movies..Take the truth and leave the rest.. Thanks, cmdreno

  • Do I have to submit myself to such bad acting, crummy diologue, and horrible cinematography and directing to figure that out for myself!

  • "Bankers are doing to enslave us in debt."

    Oh yeah -- because we are all forced at gunpoint to go into debt. Got it.

    And as for "enslavement" -- have you joined the Church of Scientology's "Sea Org" branch, where you have to sign a "Billion-year contract" and work your ass off for $24 a week? Have you had to work in the Sea Org's Rehabilitation Project Force, where you literally slave for 12 hours a day, eat scraps and sleep in filth? THERE is your "enslavement", courtesy of L. Ron Hubbard.

  • Reality is just to heavy for you, consciousness is so far from you has freedom from the people of this world, including americans.

    "Those who trade freedom for security do not have nor deserve either" Thomas Jefferson

  • "Those who trade freedom for security do not have nor deserve either" Thomas Jefferson"

    Oh enlightened one -- the actual quote is "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety", and it was written by Benjamin Franklin, NOT Thomas Jefferson.

    "Reality is just to heavy for you, consciousness is so far from you has freedom from the people of this world, including americans."

    Would you mind translating this into English for us?

  • No... the federal reserve is going to put us into dept and default as nation...

  • "No... the federal reserve is going to put us into dept and default as nation..."

    Strangely enough, none of this has affected my life one whit -- probably because I didn't get suckered into putting myself hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt.

  • Actually, it is right now! The god-damn recession! Got a clue much, smart-ass?

    I'm not talking about credit cards, I'm talking about the fact that the federal reserve charges interest on every dollar it prints. The treasury never did that when we printed our own money. It was basically why we declared independence from england, to have an interest-free currency. Ever since the FED was broaught in, it became impossible to escape it since every dollar printed has debt attatched to it.

  • We can't pay off the interest because in order to get the money... we have to get it from the FED!!!!!!!!!!!! It's an endless cycle. A simple google search will educate you. Jesus, calm down.

    Anyway, that's probably what that guy's banker complaint was about and it's valid.

  • worst film I ever watched.

  • you know theyre actually talkinof doing a sequal to this.

  • I hope not. Though I read there was suppose to be a second part to this movie. The one we know and hate is part one. If they do a second "Battlefield Earth" it will have more tilted camera angles and and weird color settings than the first film.

  • well, if John Travolta has the money to make another one. For the same reason Mel Gibson did the passion of the Christ, to raise money for the catholic church, John Travolta did thispiece of crap to raise money for scientology. So not only did L Ron Hubbard make up a crappy cooky religion, but he was also a shitty science fiction writer

  • God help us. Scientology must be stopped!

  • I dont know, the fats marley thing was pretty damn funny

  • haha im naked!!!

    can you two pls stop arguing?? Thanks! AX

  • the director of this movie was fucking horrible. eeeeuggggh. its hard to watch. jeeze. its like watching kids acting. we all know that these actors (maybe not travolta) have way higher standards than this.

  • "Get me a royale with cheese"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Xenu eats it

  • This movie is so bad that it's only mildly entertaining as a farce. Actually, one of the most unbelievable aspects of the film is the human technology that still works fine after 1000 years. Believe me, you can take almost any 2008 electronic device and it wouldn't work if you kept it in a hermetically sealed room for 20 years.

  • Travolta sounds like comic book guy in his movie!

  • This was an AWFUL movie, which made it even more awesome to see it riffed!

  • "...and I'm hot for teacher!" LMAO.

  • Message to Xenu: FUCK YOU.

  • Shame that Mr. Schumacher and Andrew Lloyd Webber didn't apologize for making their version of "The Phantom of the Opera" and ruining it. Now I'd love to see RiffTrax rip that movie.

  • I agree!

  • Seconded!

  • I could say something, but it's way too easy.

  • it's like watching welcome back kotter in the year 3000!

  • It's when a movie like battlefield earth comes out that I think, why was this ever made?

  • Yeah, but that will never happen seeing as Battlefield Earth was to John Travolta what Passion of the Christ was to Mel Gibson, a religious experience... You know, L. Ron Hubbard, Xenu and all that... BTW, couldn't agree more about Staying Alive!

  • "Two-hours!"

  • "Royale with Cheese??"

    ...How did public opinion on Travolta and L. Jackson get soooo different?

    Ahh, never mind.

  • because Travolta is a stupid fuck and a scifag

  • In touuwwauars!

  • "To think that the star of Perfect sank this low..."

  • "My beloved sock-puppet!" LMAO!

  • Why the hell is there a religious debate going on here? Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show--I should really just relax!"

  • lol cult

  • ladies and gentlemen, academy award winner "forest whitaker"

  • Wow.... there's a whole mess of crazy leaking out the tubes today.

    Wow!

  • right, and when u reach OT level they tell you that all your bad emotions are caused by alien spirits.. you also get the ability to move objects with your mind and when you get higher in ranks you can even kill people with only a thought!

    Really, if you decide to believe this crap it's fine. But don't irritate us non believers and act all high and mighty just because you believe in something that simply isn't true.

    No offense, but scientologists should get a quick course in common sense

  • And what religion are u.

  • I'm an atheist. I think that science can give an answer to most questions, it's just a matter of time before we get the answer.

    science gives you objective truth that is based on facts, and all religion can give you is truth based on wishful thinking.

  • props. I believe the same thing... but that doesn't mean I'm an athiest

  • I don't think you are stupid when you believe in a god, it's completely understandable.. I just don't believe in it..

    I'm sorry if I offended you, i didn't mean to.

  • Sorry was that a pro or anti-religion comment? It was so garbled that I couldn't tell. If people want to worship clouds then they should do so, but trying to enforce your choices upon others is unforgivable.

  • God speed to do and heavens gate...hail xenu...

  • Fantastic.

  • it could even be A FRIENDLY BARTENEDER

    WHO KINDLY LENT ME A PLASTERCAST OF HIS FACE!!

  • Sounds like something the Crypt Keeper would say

  • My lord, this movie looks like a fresh green log.

  • It's nto really fresh.

    it's 8 years old.

  • "And get me a Royale with cheese!"

    Awesome.

  • 2.10.2008

    Expect us...

  • This movie was so bad i somehow strangely found it entertaining

  • "Who kindly lent me a plastercast of his face" haha

  • I LOVE hating this stupid movie! I'm glad the RiffTrax are on the case and I MUST get the RT to go along with this almighty stinker. Xenu will punish you all! Bwah ha!

  • sure the production company when out of business after this film was made

  • The camera work on this movie makes my head hurt.

  • Lol. My beloved sock puppet. This is awesome... much better than the film. It wasn't as horrible as its made out to be... if it weren't for Scientology it would just be another movie. That crap gave it the negative aura.

  • John Travolta as the fat English Predator and Forest Whitaker as the ever loving blue eyed Thing.

  • These are funny lol my beloved sock puppet!

  • This was a great book but the movie is seriously the worste movie I have every seen in my life.

  • L Ron Hubbard has scarred the very planet with his insanity

  • Yeah well psychology is bad... (really what the hell is that about?!?!) Electroshocks for all! Remove those thetans or meta-chlurians - OH wait! That's a Lucas Star Wars tie in 'cause the hairless Ewok sure as hell didn't think of meta-chlurians in '75...

  • superb satire on the stupidity of scientology, the idiocy of popular depiction of alien species...brilliant, convincing work...truly awesome in the way that it masquerades as a hammy piece of execrable dog shit, while at its core preserving true intelligence...

    Oh wait. John Travolta was being serious.

  • John Travolta IS Cinnamon J. Scudworth!

  • "Oh my lord! Even with the jokes this movie is still one of the most unwatchable pieces of crap ever known to man! It'll actually harm your unborn children!" Worse than Manos Hands of Fate for those in the know.