You enjoy the attention, as shown in your third person voice rants. No doubt, you have been sexually abused as a child. Asexuality is often a side effect. You hate to undress around people, even in a public locker room. You avoid examinations by doctors including dental visits because it brings back repressed memories of your abuse. You are a cronic liar with BS stories to tell. You like to hear yourself talk. You are also hiding self mutilations/cut/burns as a way to cope. C A Doctor soon!
OKCupid is a great dating site because it doesn't try to be just a dating site. If anything it's a social-networking site with a focus on relationships. Mutual interests are the basis of friendships, and our overly sexual society seems to forget this sometimes. I once met a girl I found very attractive, found out she was asexual or at least approximately so, and we became great friends anyway. Our mutual interest were what made the friendship.
@Raptanax Yeah, exactly. It recognizes that we're whole people and that not every "compatibility" comparison has to be in the realm of romantic or sexual compatibility. I have tons of friends that I met through the site, and we hang out in person.
I'm asexual, but I adore dressing up and looking pretty. After watching this video I'm asking myself "if I am not looking for sex then why do I put so much effort into my appearance?" I can't figure myself out!
@puchigoth Just because you want to look nice or have an interest in fashion or care about your appearance doesn't mean you're trying to attract sex. We all feel good when we look how we want to look. Looking nice in public is sort of an art form and a performance art. It has nothing (necessarily) to do with sex and everything to do with personal interests and other forms of positive reinforcement. You're not a contradiction. :)
I've always been of the opinion that I just won't give attention to things I don't like, so I'm totally in the group of people wondering why you'd devote so much time to something you dislike. It WOULD offend me, a little, if someone put as much effort into expressing dislike for something as I put into expressing love for it, but I can understand your reasoning for doing it. Also, you're FAST at replying. One to the next! - Divalady
@MusicLoverGurl I think in this case saying I'm giving attention to "things I dislike" is oversimplifying the situation, since it's very important to me to raise awareness about the existence of people who aren't interested in sex and aren't broken. Expressing an opinion against something you think is wrong isn't the same as just crapping on it for fun. I dislike racism too, for instance, and I don't think not paying attention to it will help end it. Hope that makes sense!
Hi there, i'm not sure if i'm asexual or not,i think i'm not interested in sex mainly for emotional reasons. I feel happier if i'm not involved in that sort of relationship or trying to pursue women for sex (as a male, social norms tell me to mindlessly pursue women for sex), but as i said i'm happier without it, i'm not entirely sure why, i have difficulty explaining it people, i often won't be honest about it for that reason.I'm still figuring it out. People assume there is...(continued)
@RayDandy Yeah, you don't have to pick whether the label suits you, of course. All you have to do is understand that lack of sexual attraction to other people does not necessarily mean there's something wrong with you, so just live your life and respond to attraction if it pops up . . . but don't try to force it if it doesn't happen (or believe others if they say you're broken). As long as you know you can still be healthy without sexual attraction, you're good!
Somehow you are so smart that it beaks my brain but it also makes perfect sence for some reason... it probbly makes no sence to me now because it's waaayyy past time I was asleep but I know ill dream about this tonight and probbly all of tomorrow....(falls asleep on iPod) and thank you.
@FlyinSpaghettiMnstr7 Great idea! Since I'm not attracted to sexual things and have never been turned on in the least by anything pornographic, clearly the answer is to inundate myself with more porn. Eventually, repeatedly showing myself stuff that doesn't interest me will flip the switch! Heh, this is like those guys who think lesbians, who aren't attracted to maleness, won't be able to RESIST *their* manliness, and insist on displaying it, somehow still being shocked when it doesn't work.
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why do all asexuals have that boring look and monotone voice tone? You can say whatever you want against society being oversexed but without sex drive you deprive yourselves of some important vital energy and it REALLY shows.
i get that you wear what you like because you like to look nice, but what i dont understand is why some girls enjoy looking sexy and going out of their way to look that way if they are not interestied in attracting anybody else's attention. looking sexy at home where you can look at yourself in a mirror is one thing, but why continue it into the public eye where you are bound to attract attention that you may not want?
Probably because "sexy" and "aesthetically pleasing" are so tied together by society's perceptions. I would absolutely maintain that beauty is not a signal for sex. If you use that logic, everyone who wants to avoid attraction they don't want needs to cover themselves or damage their features to avoid it. It's not too much to ask that people use some courtesy before assuming an attractive person is actively trying to attract them. Being pretty isn't false advertising.
i didnt say that girls do it to try to get sex. and i think there is a difference between looking nice and looking sexy. for example wearing a short nice skirt and wearing a skirt that is cut so short you can see half the girl's butt (not saying you do, just an example). i think it is entirely possible for a girl to make herself look good and pretty and aesthetically pleasing w/o being overly sexy
I would agree with you that some people dress sexier than they "should" compared to the reactions they want. But what I was saying above is that there is some overlap between sexy and attractive, especially for women. Overall society just views it as normal for our clothes to tailor themselves to our figures and make us look sexy. There is a line that some folks cross, but many people who are attracted to women can and will take any beauty as if it is a "come get me" signal.
thats true. though it realy probably isnt a good thing that many men see women in such a simple way. girls are not just for having sex with! and i think that clothing companies should make some clothing that does not show off every single curve a girl has. not everything has to be so form fitting and could still look nice. this may help to clear up some of those crossed signals
Yes. Though the female body is quite an aesthetically pleasing thing, and it's unfortunate that some people always react to it as a sex object. I think if we as a society can move toward interpreting the whole person--words, body language, AND looks--instead of just responding to one aspect, we might have better communication.
i definitly agree. except when some girls like dress as sexy as they possibly can and then their body language makes it abundantly clear that they arent just playing hard to get. i guess some guys could be like that too, to be fair. but unfortunately almost nothing in life is as simple and clear cut as it should be
What you said about dressing nicely actually can be said for sexual people, too. Just because I like wearing tight pants, tops and bikinis doesn't mean I want people leering at me--it's just because I like it, not because I want anyone else to like it. I'm not sure how true it is for other people but I know it's true for myself. As you can see I'm liking your videos, haha. :]
That's very true too. What about married people who still dress nicely? I always thought it was weird that people "let themselves go" deliberately sometimes, like "Well, I caught one; don't need to try anymore" and just become a slob. Wanting to look nice is part of feeling good about yourself. It doesn't mean you're TRYING TO GET SEX with your body if you make it look nice, even in cases (like yours) where sex is sometimes a possibility.
I'm really not sure whether to call it assumptive or Freudian. On one hand, someone can suggest that you're dressing nicely to attract people for sex because they're jerks who just like looking at boobs and think the world revolves around their penis, but on the other hand they could just be trying to be psuedo-psychological about it and go back to that whole "live to breed" type of psychology. I personally think people just like to decorate themselves to create a personal identity.
Yes. Little children who have no sexual urges yet still want to look cool. It's a very socially ingrained thing to want to look nice. It just so happens that looking attractive automatically means some will be attracted to you, whether you were trying to get SEXUAL attraction or not.
I find it's very common for people to assume everyone has the same motivations they do. They dress nice to get sex = everyone who dresses nice is trying to get sex. Forget variation or different personalities.
Yeah that always puzzled the shit out of me. I remember one time at work a co-worker commented on how freakishly strong I was, then another co-worker chimed in and said "He's only like that because he doesn't get any." . I'm thinking to myself "Yeah, why don't you learn to kick into a free handstand press then come talk to me you fat slob.".
What? You're strong because you don't have sex? That doesn't make sense. Not even a little bit.
It's absurd to think we do the things we do as some kind of sad, pitiable substitute for what others get from sexual relationships. I know a lot of sexual people who nevertheless have time and drive for hobbies and aspirations. Ours aren't a substitute. Wow.
I know it's the most fucked up logic i've ever heard, I mean I got better things to do then troll for booty(like reading comics or going to concerts).
Ah, well--I'm not a big fan of saying I have "better things to do," because I'll respect it if finding a mate is one of someone's goals, and I don't like to pretend that what I'm doing with my life is higher or more worthy of spending time on.
The important point, I think, is that people spend their time on what THEY think is valuable. Why should we have to pretend to value "trolling for booty" just because some others do? Others should respect that we have different goals; to each his own.
Well I only say that to people who annoy me with such comments as "Maybe you wouldn't be so uptight if you got laid once in awhile.". Though I do actually care when when one of my friends tell me how they found "The One".
Heh, sometimes people suggest I'm "uptight" even though I'm not at all. You know, when they find out I don't like to drink and whatnot as well . . . they're like "wow, if we could just get you LAID once in a while, you'd be more fun!" Erm, in other words, "if WE could make YOU enjoy things you DON'T enjoy, you'd be more fun to US!" Yeah, changing my tastes and practices is a great formula for my happiness (especially since said happiness is not lacking).
That's the thing about humans. Sometimes there is no why. There just is!
I've reached a point in my life... in reasoning, where I accept what I am and am comfortable with how I am, it's my business, I don't feel the need to explain it to anyone else. Past experience has shown that most don't believe and turn to attack or try to catch me out where there's nothing to catch me out on.
Live and let live. Live your own life. Make yourself proud and don't feel the need to justify yourself to anyone.
I don't have to come to the same conclusion about life and how to live it as you did in order to be at peace with it. My purpose in explaining this stuff to other people is to try to get them to process the idea of more than one happiness equation. You probably have no idea how often I receive criticism about my lifestyle out of the blue, and while I don't really care what they think for my own sake, I want them to understand--for THEIR sake and the sake of other asexuals who want understanding.
I have had myriad communications from both asexuals and people who want to understand them thanking me profusely for putting this into words for them. Sometimes a concept or phenomenon needs a spokesperson in order to offer a perspective for others who are searching. So many have thanked me for showing them they're not alone, helping them realize they're not crazy, assisting in legitimizing their lives when they couldn't do it alone. To say I should just be quiet is to deny these voices.
I am not going to just sit back and say "well, if they don't understand it, who cares, let 'em think what they want." That's just not my way. I know I don't "have to" justify or explain anything. But I want the truth to be known and I want to be honest. The more I talk about it now, the more the subject will be in the public sphere of attention, and the less we'll have to talk about it in the future. It's not just about me here. It's about everyone who cares about awareness.
Defending doesn't necessarily mean "defensive," just like denying doesn't necessarily mean "in denial."
I wouldn't say I "feel a need" so much as I really want others to understand what I am thinking and why. I am so used to talking to people who can't explain the "why" of what they think, and it really irritates me when they say "well this is how thing are, because . . . well, BECAUSE! END OF STORY!" (after which they attack me for wanting more justification). I'm the opposite of that.
Glad you like! I don't know that I'd use terminology like "experiencing asexuality but not always"--sounds like if anything you're describing a low or selective sex drive, not the asexual "orientation" which is what goes on when you don't react to people with sexual attraction.
Could be you're somewhere in the middle, but just like a guy who is attracted to men (but only very occasionally) can't be purely heterosexual, a person who has sexual attraction isn't asexual. Am I being too picky?
Yeah, a lot of people have really very specialized situations where they can get interested in sex, but ordinarily they just aren't "on" all the time. There are some people who call themselves "gray-A" (or gray asexual, like a gray area), like in most cases they have no sexual interest but in very sporadic or unusual situations it sometimes happens for them. It's not up to me what anyone wants to call themselves, though. I just try to help figure out the best words to describe it.
Yes, even among people who consider their sexuality to be the same, they all have different takes on it and different tastes. Not sure what "considering myself a free person" is a reference to, but if it has to do with lifestyle, I'm also glad that I'm free to pursue (or not pursue) whatever I wish. You said you "don't quite understand," so if it happens that you WANT to, I do have my whole informative series on asexuality, starting with the introduction, in my channel. You might check it out.
Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy, though many asexuals decide to be celibate because that lifestyle matches their desires. Occasionally someone might be asexual only part of their lives, but I imagine that only happens about as often as someone who is heterosexual most of their lives has an honest-to-goodness gay period which isn't just experimentation. It's an orientation. It doesn't have anything to do with purity or integrity, because you can't choose not to have attraction.
i dont think there needs to be so much talk about asexuality. who really cares? so what -i think it should be more normal for people to not be so sex crazed. we need smarter and more people with integrity in this day in age. that should just be normal-not ASEXUAL.
Yes, people not being sex-crazed would be nice, but that doesn't have anything to do with asexuality. It's being talked about by me and a few others in order to try to introduce the idea into mainstream thought that asexuality is one of many healthy ways to be. From what you posted here, it kinda sounds like you might not even know what asexuality is, but correct me if I'm wrong. Asexuals aren't against sex. They just aren't interested in having it and want that to be all right.
Come on! Besides storing volumes upon volumes of information, the Internet is also a media dumpster. YouTube is a damn good example. So much stinky crap piled around.
Oh, and no one can tell you what to write about. That power is yours alone.
I watched that video when it showed up. It's actually kinda relevant. Someone claiming to be asexual writes in to a show and says now that they're on some kinda hormones they're fantasizing about BDSM. . . . Kinda weird.
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For every dumbass out there you lecture there is going to be ten more, with more misconceptions and ludicrous ideas. You are hopelessly outnumbered.
I hope once you realize that you'll make interesting videos. Like hmmmm.. "trolling as an art form", "mathematics", "psychology 101 for trolling" or perhaps more of your songs.
Yes, there is no dumbass shortage, but that doesn't concern me. If my goal was "wipe out dumbasses" maybe it would be a problem. But my goal is to help people understand if they want to understand. Theoretically, those who watch the videos are interested in being educated on the subject for whatever reason. I'm using dumbasses and people with misconceptions to help address my points and to show that there really are people making these arguments (so it's not just hearsay).
As for what you think I should be doing with my videos, I think I'll leave the trolling arts to you if you feel you have secrets to share with the world, but my next video will probably involve poetry!
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Now that's more like it. What goes on in your panties, or in your case what not goes on there is not really interesting. What people believe goes on in there or in your head is even more uninteresting.
It's fun to laugh at idiots and ignorant people, but at some point in time it gets boring.
By the way why don't you appreciate the fine art that is trolling? I consider a lot of your rants trolling, so you are guilty of it yourself.
::shrug:: Consider them what you like. I have always thought trolling was the practice of deliberately engaging other people in order to try to piss them off or irritate them. I've never gone into a single conversation just to bother someone or ruin their day/week/life. If someone comes after me for cybersex, for example, I might pretend not to understand or do things to try to goad them into behaving decently or giving up, but that's because they initiated something I consider inappropriate.
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Yeah, the cybersex people are perhaps approaching you totally wrong. Here's how I'd go about it:
"Hi I think you're very cute in a very unsexy way. I'd not have sex with you anytime, so what do you say. Could we go out on a unromantic date sometime?"
But jokes aside, those people are hilarious. I still can't stop laughing from the "stay away from my cat" type responses...
For you I'd have to conjure up something more sinister. Like hang out with you and drop some sex-drive enabling chemicals in your soda. Then when you were all ready for it, practically begging for it, just zip up and dump you. Of course the drug would wear out, but for the period it lasted you would probably go nuts and shag a tree or a park bench. Then maybe you'd go on with your life thinking you have repressed feelings for park utilities.
Ah. Yeah, that might be a rather intense way of trolling. Don't know if THAT would work either since it'd dependent on the theory that I don't want sex because I just don't have enough hormones, but this is all rather theoretical anyway. . . .
It sounds like an awful lot of work to try to ruin someone's day/week/life, but if that sort of thing is important to you I suppose some people might say "just admire the determination!"
Well I certainly couldn't go through with it because there is the possibility that I would get raped. You seem stubborn enough to not take no for an answer and combined with the euphoria of a sudden sex-drive, I'd say I would have to make a quick escape.
It's a so awesome troll that you can't even begin to imagine how it would be like.
Yes, trolling is in fact an art form. It requires creativity, intelligence and very often an in-depth analysis of the victim to achieve success.
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Don't worry I'm expendable.
Besides irritating you or trying to is a noble and just cause.
You seem extremely focused on this whole Asexuality thing, which is quite frankly kind of boring for those of us who have transcended such petty things as discussing or trying to create awareness of sexual orientations or lacks thereof.
It's kind of funny that a few idiots has caused you to devote time to this thing. It just makes me wonder how much of your time I could waste if I devoted myself to it.
Nah. I'm not "extremely focused" on it--it's just something I'm interested in helping others understand. I've always been fine with it--and would have been even if there weren't any others--but after I wrote an essay about it I got so many e-mails about "thanks SO much for doing this" and "I'm so glad I'm not the only one!" that I figured it was long overdue. YouTube's just another place where I can deliver the message to people who'd rather listen than read.
It's also not a response to a few idiots. My essay and video series are made to address points and clarify understanding. I don't really care about idiots understanding--I can't make someone learn if they don't want to and won't listen. I do hope to help other asexual people and those in their lives get a clearer picture of what normal is for these folks, and help them understand themselves/their loved ones. I don't think it's a waste of time to spread info on subjects I care about.
I'm sure this hypothetical guy(person?) will find you, and when he does he'll stay away from your cat and you'll live even happier than you are now. Something you maybe are too stubborn to hope for.
(And I don't have a cat. Not a real one anyway. Perhaps a couple stuffed animals.)
Why would I be "stubborn" if I don't hope for something I'm not interested in and can't imagine wanting? Am I stubborn because I don't aspire to one day love onions, or because I don't particularly wish I was tall?
How about wishing one day I could know the beauty of having orange as a favorite color?
Yup, sounds absurd and meaningless no matter how I slice it.
Sure it could exist, in fact I'm like that myself. I want to live alone, but if I met someone I really really really really really loved I wouldn't hesitate to change that.
It's practical to have a person you can't stay away from close by.
I think what you are dealing with is that you have not yet met someone special enough to you to want such a thing. Don't get me wrong, you probably share strong connections to people, but maybe equally distributed; There is no clear "winner"(to word it badly). So if you live with one, then you'd feel inlclined to live with all the other people you valued equally much or at least let them live with you.
Don't know that I'd call that "dealing with" anything. This isn't a struggle or some issue I'm going through. It's how I feel about relationships and living with other people. If "not interested" can only look like "not interested . . . YET!" to you, I don't think I can talk you out of it, but I suggest you think about what a person who hasn't wanted, doesn't want, and never will want a life partner/roommate would look like. Couldn't it happen? Couldn't it exist?
I describe myself as aromantic because I cannot conceive of wanting such a thing. I don't want sex and I don't want companionship of any life-partner-like sort. This is a logical dead end to keep suggesting that I imagine someone I can't imagine. I can't imagine wanting that, so how could I dream up a conception of a person who'd make me want it? The only reason I say "It could happen" is that I'm describing how I feel and have always felt, not what I will always feel (which I can't know).
So if someone want's to live with you and you love that person you can't because then you fear that it won't be possible to live the way you want? I think that's a bit strange, why should it not be achievable?
This is a hypothetical situation. If I met someone I wanted to live with, my feelings on living alone would change. I've never met someone I want to live with, but I can assure you that if something were to change so I wanted to cohabitate with that person, I wouldn't say "Oh but we can't because then I can't live the way I wanted to before I met you." Meeting that person changes how I want to live. Unless I meet that person, it's pointless to ask how I'll feel without knowing that person.
Neither do I. I'm not socially inept and do prefer to some times hang out with friends.
Oh and of course you should do your own dish washing and such. I was just talking about sharing love and companionship when it is wanted, and solitude when that is wanted.
With a big enough house that sould be perfectly possible.
I don't have to share a house with someone--big or small--to invite "love and companionship"--on my terms--when I want to. I don't know what it is about living together that seems so attractive to you that you keep trying to tell me it's possible for me to have it and still have everything I like about living alone. If I live with someone else, at all, I don't live alone. I like living alone. Isn't that all I need to say, really? That this is how I want it?
If you had no added responsibilities then? I don't see why that would be a problem achieving.
Actually I to live a life in solitude and most of my time i want to do my uni. work in peace alone. I'm also a introvert, but that does not mean I would dislike living with someone.
Nonono. I want all the responsibility to be MINE. I don't WANT someone else washing my dishes or buying food for me or sharing cleaning duties. One thing I really value is having my own place which is always how I left it and how I want it.
As for being an introvert, :shrug:--it manifests differently for different people. I'm an introvert because when given a choice I choose activities to do alone, but I'm not shy and don't have a PROBLEM interacting with others. It's fun within reason.
Haha. Well people living together are not constantly interacting or even together. You'd probably get your "alone" time if you asked too. Really it's nothing weird about that
I'm aware of that. I've lived alone since 2000, and I'm 30, so you do the math--I've lived with other people most of my life. However, when folks who are traveling to visit me stay for a couple days, they often know I want to have some alone time and like to leave me to it. It's better than nothing, but it's not the same as having the house to yourself. I don't want to share responsibilities and living space with anyone.
Just like it that way. Same reason I can't have music on while I'm writing a book--it's how my brain is built. I love interacting with other people and to some extent I like hanging out with wonderful people. I have more friends than (literally) anyone I know who's not famous--I get kidded about it by some friends who wish they had more people in their lives. I have an active social life. But ultimately I'm an introvert--which is not the same thing as shy.
Nope. Not "sure" about anything of the sort. Saying I was sure would make it a belief. I consider it a description, not a belief or a decision. I think I can expect to continue to feel the way I've always felt and continue to NOT feel something that sounds like it'd be foreign to me, but obviously insisting that I'll NEVER NEVER NEVER change my mind would turn it into dogma. No dice.
I think you would actually quite like to live together with the right person. Since you say you don't, could it perhaps be that you just haven't met a person interesting enough? I have in many occasions been wrong on such things. Like made claims that I was sure held for me, but in fact after a while it turned out to be wrong.
Don't get me wrong, asexuality is something that you clearly feel, but living together with a soulmate is out of the quest?
Life partners doesn't = roommates; it's a give and take that's mutual. I seem to be most comfortable as a soloist, not a duet, you know?
I know that's how I feel the same way a lot of people know they want a partner despite never having had one (or having had the right one). I'm not saying it's impossible that I'll meet someone who'd change how I feel, but I *am* saying it isn't a pre-existing desire I have (and therefore not something I'm searching to fill).
No matter how much I like someone, I want to be alone after a little while. I just start to crave solitude after too much social interaction. Another person in my house is noise. Sometimes noise is okay and sometimes noise is great. But normally I feel most comfortable and most myself in the quiet.
It's only in the quiet that I can do my creative works and have the mental silence I need not to go crazy, I think. I treasure living alone. I never want to go back to having a roommate.
Hey, maybe I should not troll and ask a serious question... hmm.
Oh yeah. Do you think you could love a person and be a couple in all ways that "normal" couples share love without the sex part? You know, sex and love are not the same thing.
Many asexuals do couple up and fall in love, either with other asexuals or sexual people with whom they have some arrangement or compromise. There are as many different ways of achieving the compromise as there are for sexual couples who don't want the exact same thing.
But me personally? I am an aromantic asexual, and I don't want a partner. I have quite a few people in my life I truly love, but I don't have a life partnership with them and don't want to.
So I've seen all your videos now, or at least some and I think they all made me just a little bit more stupid.
Now that's quite an achievement! Congratulations, if only I could doom you with my permanent presence. That would be suitable punishment for making me even more stupid.
Damn woman, now I will have to train hard to reach the same amount of awesomeness that I once possessed.
Quoting you: "...made me just a little bit more stupid."
I have news for you buddy, you've been stupid for a long time, and nobody helped you. Take responsibility for your own actions! You could start getting smarter if you want.
...and hey, nice new channel! Joined: January 06, 2009)
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This asexual woman is clearly not having a hormonal imbalance resulting in reduced cock cravings. Neither do I think she is deluded. I just think she is most likely too tight and just not suited for sex, therefore she just does not like it. Rather obvious that people like that don't like the whole sex thing. Heck, If I was a dwarf I'd be asexual too. I saw some dwarf porn once and if I was a dwarf I'd just loose any desire and burst into a laughter every time. That's probably what she does too.
Or, wait, are you calling me a dwarf? It's not an insult, but it's not an accurate term for me. I'm actually a couple inches too tall to even be a little person. But dwarfs are a specific kind of little person with a distinctive skeleton. You know that right?
Not to mention sexual desires aren't lessened by being a dwarf if you are one. Available partners might be lessened due to fewer people finding them attractive, but sex drive? Still there.
Who said it was an insult? What's insulting about being a dwarf? I just think Dwarfs doing the naughty stuff is hilarious.
See you are trying to create a false statement by assuming a false premise.
Neither did I call you a dwarf. As you say, you don't quite fit that awesome description. However I do note that you may share some similarities with them in the sex department.
You seem like a very tight woman. By that I mean weird.
I wonder why this guy was questioning your motives for using OkCupid when you had already explained them so thoroughly on your page. Maybe he thinks OkCupid should only be for seeking mates and booty-calls, not platonic relationships.
BTW, what was it that you were drinking in the video?
Hey, just a note to say that you should post a transcript for these because you talk really fast which makes it hard to grasp or to let things sink in.
Sorry--I had to re-record the video five different times because it kept getting too long, so talking fast was necessary to keep it short enough to fit with the time restrictions on YouTube. Not everything I said was scripted, either, so that makes it difficult.
Yeah. It's difficult to get it crammed into a ten-minute video if I have a lot to say, so I compensate by going fast. I can talk pretty fast if I have to! But most of my videos do run close to the ten-minute mark, so I'd have to either split them up or say less if I wanted to talk slower. Sorry it's so tough to understand. Some of my videos link to transcripts but this one I don't have listed anywhere because I didn't think he was a jerk. :)
I do think it's possible to say what you say using less words though a lot of that's to do with a persons personality, personaly i'm a nutshell talker.
Anyway you remind me of somone mainly because she's asexual, a writer, is opinonated and talks a lot :) I find that quite intresting :)
I think a lot of woman would feel the same as you do about not wanting men to just be attracted to their appearance. They would also want to be liked because of their personality as well :-)
Interesting that u mentioned Eragon, because just the other day I went by the bookshop to have a browse and I saw the new Eragon books on display - with posters and boards set up around them - and I wondered if u had read it or written an essay about it yet.
Yup! Though a lot of them are probably a little more flattered than disappointed if someone thinks they're sexy. For me it's like "God, now I have to deal with this crap."
And as for Eragon, you can find the essay I wrote on my site in the essays section. :)
Ah, I checked your website again. I meant the new Paolini book with the golden dragon on the cover... can't remember the title of it off-hand. I've reread your essays on the first two books quite a few times, but I was wondering if you had read the third one yet. I haven't and don't particularly want to - except to see how bad it is. But i'd prefer to get it from a library so I don't have to waste money on it!
Ahh yes, Brisingr. (Who remembers a title like that except a fan or a book nerd, right?) I am in the process of reading the third one. I read the first two when I worked at a bookstore--the first because I was a kids' dept. head and wanted to know whether to recommend it, and the second because people who liked the 1st essay kept asking me to. I didn't intend to read Brisingr 'cause I wasn't going to buy it, but then a fan of the essays gave me a free copy and asked me to review it. :)
haha very "nice" of them to do so... seeing as you explicitly said at the end of the second essay that you would beat up whoever gave you "Eldest" as a presentv(and gave photo evidence of you doing so)! lol
LOL--well to be honest it was a digital version of the book, and it was definitely given to me not with the suggestion that I'd enjoy it but with the implication that I'm to entertain the world with another evil essay. :D
I have begun to read it and have already amassed a series of observations, and on this one I'm making a list of anytime I come across a hackneyed simile or metaphor. The thing is infected with them. Does a fire really have to be "glowing LIKE RUBIES!"? Can't it just glow?
That's one of my major problems with Paolini's writing; his similes and metaphors are not only full of unnecessary decorations, but they often actually make no sense. Like that one he had in a previous book: "Black as a forgotten pool." Huh? Since when does something being forgotten make it black? If you went to observe how black it was, wouldn't that make it not forgotten? NO SENSE! He also has this trend in this book of making most of his metaphors relate to precious stones or metals.
Hi Swankivy, Very well said. It's funny 'cause yesterday I's watching one of your videos, I just picked one- Asexuality Top 10: Honorable Mentions, 'cause I'm already familiar w/you. I wanted to leave a general comment starting with "I know this is out of the blue considering this video is 6 mos. old...".
Anyways, I's going to say that you're a great voice for asexuality. I'm heterosexual, & don't share your experience, but I've great respect for you. Great stuff. Thanks for being real.
People still comment on six-month-old videos every day. :) Comment anytime.
And thanks for saying I'm a good voice for the subject. I'm not trying to be the poster child or anything--it's nowhere near as big a part of my life as some people seem to think it is--but I do think it's important that people like me learn that it's okay to feel disinterested in sex and that it isn't necessarily a PROBLEM, so . . . like anything I care about, I discuss it in detail. :) Thanks for the props!
Your welcome! Yes, I unnertstand that you are not claiming to be a represident of anyone but yourself, but once in a while a person comes along who puts it into words in a way that few are able. Reluctant gurus are the best!
I agree, some things need to be discussed in detail. That way there is less excuse for misunderstanding; it wakes and shakes up the lazy thinkers and narrow minds. Time well spent!
It's great that this is only one faucet of you, and that you cover it Thoreauly.
The letter almost sounds like a guy I know named "Raven".
As far as the book thing goes, I'm really getting tired of people talking about Twilight. Twilight is not a good book.
I have a feeling that you would enjoy a site called Vloggerheads. It 1) doesn't have a time limit just a file size limit 2) has people that talk about pretty much anything.
Interesting; I've never read Twilight, but have heard TONS about how bad it is (in many of the same ways I consider Eragon bad) from too many people I trust to think I'd enjoy it. I'd better just not pick it up.
Vloggerheads sounds interesting. I'm on YouTube mainly for exposure, though--get my ideas out--so it's important to me to make my videos viewable on YouTube too.
This has been flagged as spam show
You enjoy the attention, as shown in your third person voice rants. No doubt, you have been sexually abused as a child. Asexuality is often a side effect. You hate to undress around people, even in a public locker room. You avoid examinations by doctors including dental visits because it brings back repressed memories of your abuse. You are a cronic liar with BS stories to tell. You like to hear yourself talk. You are also hiding self mutilations/cut/burns as a way to cope. C A Doctor soon!
goodkarma33 1 day ago
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goodkarma33 1 day ago
OKCupid is a great dating site because it doesn't try to be just a dating site. If anything it's a social-networking site with a focus on relationships. Mutual interests are the basis of friendships, and our overly sexual society seems to forget this sometimes. I once met a girl I found very attractive, found out she was asexual or at least approximately so, and we became great friends anyway. Our mutual interest were what made the friendship.
Raptanax 2 months ago
@Raptanax Yeah, exactly. It recognizes that we're whole people and that not every "compatibility" comparison has to be in the realm of romantic or sexual compatibility. I have tons of friends that I met through the site, and we hang out in person.
swankivy 2 months ago
I'm asexual, but I adore dressing up and looking pretty. After watching this video I'm asking myself "if I am not looking for sex then why do I put so much effort into my appearance?" I can't figure myself out!
puchigoth 3 months ago
@puchigoth Just because you want to look nice or have an interest in fashion or care about your appearance doesn't mean you're trying to attract sex. We all feel good when we look how we want to look. Looking nice in public is sort of an art form and a performance art. It has nothing (necessarily) to do with sex and everything to do with personal interests and other forms of positive reinforcement. You're not a contradiction. :)
swankivy 3 months ago
Ahhh OKCupid. Have had some interesting conversations on there. . .
Duriretlan 4 months ago
This is completely off topic. But are you a small person or is that a big can? :P
MrSeemby 5 months ago
@MrSeemby It's an ordinary size can. I am a very small person.
swankivy 5 months ago
I've always been of the opinion that I just won't give attention to things I don't like, so I'm totally in the group of people wondering why you'd devote so much time to something you dislike. It WOULD offend me, a little, if someone put as much effort into expressing dislike for something as I put into expressing love for it, but I can understand your reasoning for doing it. Also, you're FAST at replying. One to the next! - Divalady
MusicLoverGurl 1 year ago
@MusicLoverGurl I think in this case saying I'm giving attention to "things I dislike" is oversimplifying the situation, since it's very important to me to raise awareness about the existence of people who aren't interested in sex and aren't broken. Expressing an opinion against something you think is wrong isn't the same as just crapping on it for fun. I dislike racism too, for instance, and I don't think not paying attention to it will help end it. Hope that makes sense!
swankivy 1 year ago
Hi there, i'm not sure if i'm asexual or not,i think i'm not interested in sex mainly for emotional reasons. I feel happier if i'm not involved in that sort of relationship or trying to pursue women for sex (as a male, social norms tell me to mindlessly pursue women for sex), but as i said i'm happier without it, i'm not entirely sure why, i have difficulty explaining it people, i often won't be honest about it for that reason.I'm still figuring it out. People assume there is...(continued)
RayDandy 1 year ago
@RayDandy (continued) something wrong with me. I really don't think there is.I
like your videos, thanks.
RayDandy 1 year ago
@RayDandy Yeah, you don't have to pick whether the label suits you, of course. All you have to do is understand that lack of sexual attraction to other people does not necessarily mean there's something wrong with you, so just live your life and respond to attraction if it pops up . . . but don't try to force it if it doesn't happen (or believe others if they say you're broken). As long as you know you can still be healthy without sexual attraction, you're good!
swankivy 1 year ago
@swankivy thanks for the reply
RayDandy 1 year ago
Somehow you are so smart that it beaks my brain but it also makes perfect sence for some reason... it probbly makes no sence to me now because it's waaayyy past time I was asleep but I know ill dream about this tonight and probbly all of tomorrow....(falls asleep on iPod) and thank you.
gircupcakeful 1 year ago
@gircupcakeful Well, thanks for watching. I'm not trying to break anyone's brain, but I'm picturing it being in a good way. . . .
swankivy 1 year ago
watch some porn and see if you still don't want it. then have sex with me.
FlyinSpaghettiMnstr7 1 year ago
@FlyinSpaghettiMnstr7 Great idea! Since I'm not attracted to sexual things and have never been turned on in the least by anything pornographic, clearly the answer is to inundate myself with more porn. Eventually, repeatedly showing myself stuff that doesn't interest me will flip the switch! Heh, this is like those guys who think lesbians, who aren't attracted to maleness, won't be able to RESIST *their* manliness, and insist on displaying it, somehow still being shocked when it doesn't work.
swankivy 1 year ago
@swankivy it's like trying new food, you have to try it....with me.
FlyinSpaghettiMnstr7 1 year ago
@FlyinSpaghettiMnstr7 Of course! The sex spice, which coats only your genitals amongst all others, is sure to convert me.
Believe you me, I shall be dreaming of you tonight, sexy! ^___^
swankivy 1 year ago 6
@swankivy sex spice? new favorite!
recklesstenacity 1 year ago
At about 2:21, how the heck are you holding that can when you put it down?! It's mind boggling.
MLFreese 1 year ago
@MLFreese Uh . . . classified.
swankivy 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
why do all asexuals have that boring look and monotone voice tone? You can say whatever you want against society being oversexed but without sex drive you deprive yourselves of some important vital energy and it REALLY shows.
AndresApolo 1 year ago
LOL. Yeah, my voice is ever so monotone and my look is ever so boring.
You want to know what's monotonous and boring?
Trolls.
swankivy 1 year ago 3
You're such a tease - provoking men with those bare arms, black and gray shirt and blue jeans.
gastronomist 2 years ago 3
I know, right? I'm so shamelessly taunting them.
swankivy 2 years ago
@gastronomist shut up and go play Monster Hunter :D
Go Swankivy!
IconoclastPrince 2 years ago
i get that you wear what you like because you like to look nice, but what i dont understand is why some girls enjoy looking sexy and going out of their way to look that way if they are not interestied in attracting anybody else's attention. looking sexy at home where you can look at yourself in a mirror is one thing, but why continue it into the public eye where you are bound to attract attention that you may not want?
shadowsa2b 2 years ago
Probably because "sexy" and "aesthetically pleasing" are so tied together by society's perceptions. I would absolutely maintain that beauty is not a signal for sex. If you use that logic, everyone who wants to avoid attraction they don't want needs to cover themselves or damage their features to avoid it. It's not too much to ask that people use some courtesy before assuming an attractive person is actively trying to attract them. Being pretty isn't false advertising.
swankivy 2 years ago
i didnt say that girls do it to try to get sex. and i think there is a difference between looking nice and looking sexy. for example wearing a short nice skirt and wearing a skirt that is cut so short you can see half the girl's butt (not saying you do, just an example). i think it is entirely possible for a girl to make herself look good and pretty and aesthetically pleasing w/o being overly sexy
shadowsa2b 2 years ago
I would agree with you that some people dress sexier than they "should" compared to the reactions they want. But what I was saying above is that there is some overlap between sexy and attractive, especially for women. Overall society just views it as normal for our clothes to tailor themselves to our figures and make us look sexy. There is a line that some folks cross, but many people who are attracted to women can and will take any beauty as if it is a "come get me" signal.
swankivy 2 years ago
thats true. though it realy probably isnt a good thing that many men see women in such a simple way. girls are not just for having sex with! and i think that clothing companies should make some clothing that does not show off every single curve a girl has. not everything has to be so form fitting and could still look nice. this may help to clear up some of those crossed signals
shadowsa2b 2 years ago 3
Yes. Though the female body is quite an aesthetically pleasing thing, and it's unfortunate that some people always react to it as a sex object. I think if we as a society can move toward interpreting the whole person--words, body language, AND looks--instead of just responding to one aspect, we might have better communication.
swankivy 2 years ago
i definitly agree. except when some girls like dress as sexy as they possibly can and then their body language makes it abundantly clear that they arent just playing hard to get. i guess some guys could be like that too, to be fair. but unfortunately almost nothing in life is as simple and clear cut as it should be
shadowsa2b 2 years ago
What you said about dressing nicely actually can be said for sexual people, too. Just because I like wearing tight pants, tops and bikinis doesn't mean I want people leering at me--it's just because I like it, not because I want anyone else to like it. I'm not sure how true it is for other people but I know it's true for myself. As you can see I'm liking your videos, haha. :]
FoxyPope 2 years ago
That's very true too. What about married people who still dress nicely? I always thought it was weird that people "let themselves go" deliberately sometimes, like "Well, I caught one; don't need to try anymore" and just become a slob. Wanting to look nice is part of feeling good about yourself. It doesn't mean you're TRYING TO GET SEX with your body if you make it look nice, even in cases (like yours) where sex is sometimes a possibility.
swankivy 2 years ago
I'm really not sure whether to call it assumptive or Freudian. On one hand, someone can suggest that you're dressing nicely to attract people for sex because they're jerks who just like looking at boobs and think the world revolves around their penis, but on the other hand they could just be trying to be psuedo-psychological about it and go back to that whole "live to breed" type of psychology. I personally think people just like to decorate themselves to create a personal identity.
FoxyPope 2 years ago
Yes. Little children who have no sexual urges yet still want to look cool. It's a very socially ingrained thing to want to look nice. It just so happens that looking attractive automatically means some will be attracted to you, whether you were trying to get SEXUAL attraction or not.
I find it's very common for people to assume everyone has the same motivations they do. They dress nice to get sex = everyone who dresses nice is trying to get sex. Forget variation or different personalities.
swankivy 2 years ago
Yeah that always puzzled the shit out of me. I remember one time at work a co-worker commented on how freakishly strong I was, then another co-worker chimed in and said "He's only like that because he doesn't get any." . I'm thinking to myself "Yeah, why don't you learn to kick into a free handstand press then come talk to me you fat slob.".
Hardmanferdead 2 years ago
What? You're strong because you don't have sex? That doesn't make sense. Not even a little bit.
It's absurd to think we do the things we do as some kind of sad, pitiable substitute for what others get from sexual relationships. I know a lot of sexual people who nevertheless have time and drive for hobbies and aspirations. Ours aren't a substitute. Wow.
swankivy 2 years ago
I know it's the most fucked up logic i've ever heard, I mean I got better things to do then troll for booty(like reading comics or going to concerts).
P.S.
It's been a year since I found out I was Asexual.
Hardmanferdead 2 years ago
Ah, well--I'm not a big fan of saying I have "better things to do," because I'll respect it if finding a mate is one of someone's goals, and I don't like to pretend that what I'm doing with my life is higher or more worthy of spending time on.
The important point, I think, is that people spend their time on what THEY think is valuable. Why should we have to pretend to value "trolling for booty" just because some others do? Others should respect that we have different goals; to each his own.
swankivy 2 years ago
Well I only say that to people who annoy me with such comments as "Maybe you wouldn't be so uptight if you got laid once in awhile.". Though I do actually care when when one of my friends tell me how they found "The One".
Hardmanferdead 2 years ago
Heh, sometimes people suggest I'm "uptight" even though I'm not at all. You know, when they find out I don't like to drink and whatnot as well . . . they're like "wow, if we could just get you LAID once in a while, you'd be more fun!" Erm, in other words, "if WE could make YOU enjoy things you DON'T enjoy, you'd be more fun to US!" Yeah, changing my tastes and practices is a great formula for my happiness (especially since said happiness is not lacking).
swankivy 2 years ago
That's the thing about humans. Sometimes there is no why. There just is!
I've reached a point in my life... in reasoning, where I accept what I am and am comfortable with how I am, it's my business, I don't feel the need to explain it to anyone else. Past experience has shown that most don't believe and turn to attack or try to catch me out where there's nothing to catch me out on.
Live and let live. Live your own life. Make yourself proud and don't feel the need to justify yourself to anyone.
TheYouuTubeRipper 2 years ago
I don't have to come to the same conclusion about life and how to live it as you did in order to be at peace with it. My purpose in explaining this stuff to other people is to try to get them to process the idea of more than one happiness equation. You probably have no idea how often I receive criticism about my lifestyle out of the blue, and while I don't really care what they think for my own sake, I want them to understand--for THEIR sake and the sake of other asexuals who want understanding.
swankivy 2 years ago
I have had myriad communications from both asexuals and people who want to understand them thanking me profusely for putting this into words for them. Sometimes a concept or phenomenon needs a spokesperson in order to offer a perspective for others who are searching. So many have thanked me for showing them they're not alone, helping them realize they're not crazy, assisting in legitimizing their lives when they couldn't do it alone. To say I should just be quiet is to deny these voices.
swankivy 2 years ago
I am not going to just sit back and say "well, if they don't understand it, who cares, let 'em think what they want." That's just not my way. I know I don't "have to" justify or explain anything. But I want the truth to be known and I want to be honest. The more I talk about it now, the more the subject will be in the public sphere of attention, and the less we'll have to talk about it in the future. It's not just about me here. It's about everyone who cares about awareness.
swankivy 2 years ago
...and before you reply, I bet you're also defensive!
Do you feel the need to explain yourself to others?
TheYouuTubeRipper 2 years ago
Defending doesn't necessarily mean "defensive," just like denying doesn't necessarily mean "in denial."
I wouldn't say I "feel a need" so much as I really want others to understand what I am thinking and why. I am so used to talking to people who can't explain the "why" of what they think, and it really irritates me when they say "well this is how thing are, because . . . well, BECAUSE! END OF STORY!" (after which they attack me for wanting more justification). I'm the opposite of that.
swankivy 2 years ago
I enjoyed this!
I experience asexuality alot of the tme but not always
its something i like to learn about and maybe need to learn about because its a part of me
thank you!
*subscribed*
Estilum 2 years ago
Glad you like! I don't know that I'd use terminology like "experiencing asexuality but not always"--sounds like if anything you're describing a low or selective sex drive, not the asexual "orientation" which is what goes on when you don't react to people with sexual attraction.
Could be you're somewhere in the middle, but just like a guy who is attracted to men (but only very occasionally) can't be purely heterosexual, a person who has sexual attraction isn't asexual. Am I being too picky?
swankivy 2 years ago
Oh! that makes more sense! "selective sex drive" is a good way to put it, that seems to feel right
never thought of that but Im glad you said that!
thanks!
love, Kelly
Estilum 2 years ago
Yeah, a lot of people have really very specialized situations where they can get interested in sex, but ordinarily they just aren't "on" all the time. There are some people who call themselves "gray-A" (or gray asexual, like a gray area), like in most cases they have no sexual interest but in very sporadic or unusual situations it sometimes happens for them. It's not up to me what anyone wants to call themselves, though. I just try to help figure out the best words to describe it.
swankivy 2 years ago
...you're drinking Diet Coke?! Ahhh
AnarchBushey 2 years ago
Hmm, can't figure out the context of this comment. Sounds like dismay. Problem?
It's actually Diet Coke Plus. Vitamins!
My friend says it tastes weird. I like it.
swankivy 2 years ago
ok i guess i just don't quite understand. but its interesting. and i totally believe that it is different for everyone.
I m glad you consider yourself a free person.
rgeky203 2 years ago
Yes, even among people who consider their sexuality to be the same, they all have different takes on it and different tastes. Not sure what "considering myself a free person" is a reference to, but if it has to do with lifestyle, I'm also glad that I'm free to pursue (or not pursue) whatever I wish. You said you "don't quite understand," so if it happens that you WANT to, I do have my whole informative series on asexuality, starting with the introduction, in my channel. You might check it out.
swankivy 2 years ago
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rgeky203 2 years ago
Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy, though many asexuals decide to be celibate because that lifestyle matches their desires. Occasionally someone might be asexual only part of their lives, but I imagine that only happens about as often as someone who is heterosexual most of their lives has an honest-to-goodness gay period which isn't just experimentation. It's an orientation. It doesn't have anything to do with purity or integrity, because you can't choose not to have attraction.
swankivy 2 years ago
i dont think there needs to be so much talk about asexuality. who really cares? so what -i think it should be more normal for people to not be so sex crazed. we need smarter and more people with integrity in this day in age. that should just be normal-not ASEXUAL.
rgeky203 2 years ago
Yes, people not being sex-crazed would be nice, but that doesn't have anything to do with asexuality. It's being talked about by me and a few others in order to try to introduce the idea into mainstream thought that asexuality is one of many healthy ways to be. From what you posted here, it kinda sounds like you might not even know what asexuality is, but correct me if I'm wrong. Asexuals aren't against sex. They just aren't interested in having it and want that to be all right.
swankivy 2 years ago
Come on! Besides storing volumes upon volumes of information, the Internet is also a media dumpster. YouTube is a damn good example. So much stinky crap piled around.
Oh, and no one can tell you what to write about. That power is yours alone.
Evigool 2 years ago
Ya gotta love YouTube and how they lump videos together: "Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex" *LOL*
Akira625 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Swankivy is probably really into that.
some guy - "Wanna have sex?"
swankivy -"No I told you, I'm asexual, now go away or .... do you want a beating?"
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I watched that video when it showed up. It's actually kinda relevant. Someone claiming to be asexual writes in to a show and says now that they're on some kinda hormones they're fantasizing about BDSM. . . . Kinda weird.
swankivy 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
For every dumbass out there you lecture there is going to be ten more, with more misconceptions and ludicrous ideas. You are hopelessly outnumbered.
I hope once you realize that you'll make interesting videos. Like hmmmm.. "trolling as an art form", "mathematics", "psychology 101 for trolling" or perhaps more of your songs.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Yes, there is no dumbass shortage, but that doesn't concern me. If my goal was "wipe out dumbasses" maybe it would be a problem. But my goal is to help people understand if they want to understand. Theoretically, those who watch the videos are interested in being educated on the subject for whatever reason. I'm using dumbasses and people with misconceptions to help address my points and to show that there really are people making these arguments (so it's not just hearsay).
swankivy 3 years ago
As for what you think I should be doing with my videos, I think I'll leave the trolling arts to you if you feel you have secrets to share with the world, but my next video will probably involve poetry!
swankivy 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Now that's more like it. What goes on in your panties, or in your case what not goes on there is not really interesting. What people believe goes on in there or in your head is even more uninteresting.
It's fun to laugh at idiots and ignorant people, but at some point in time it gets boring.
By the way why don't you appreciate the fine art that is trolling? I consider a lot of your rants trolling, so you are guilty of it yourself.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
::shrug:: Consider them what you like. I have always thought trolling was the practice of deliberately engaging other people in order to try to piss them off or irritate them. I've never gone into a single conversation just to bother someone or ruin their day/week/life. If someone comes after me for cybersex, for example, I might pretend not to understand or do things to try to goad them into behaving decently or giving up, but that's because they initiated something I consider inappropriate.
swankivy 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Yeah, the cybersex people are perhaps approaching you totally wrong. Here's how I'd go about it:
"Hi I think you're very cute in a very unsexy way. I'd not have sex with you anytime, so what do you say. Could we go out on a unromantic date sometime?"
But jokes aside, those people are hilarious. I still can't stop laughing from the "stay away from my cat" type responses...
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I like the one where I pretend to be my own little brother.
swankivy 3 years ago
Fascinating, the old saying "all attack is a cry for help", seems to ring true as I analyze his comments.
Akira625 3 years ago
Not exactly. Talking to her was just more fun than trolling her. It seems I'd have to put a lot of effort into trolling her for it to be effective.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
LOL! I found a troll vaccine?
swankivy 3 years ago
It's just that ordinary troll tactics won't work.
For you I'd have to conjure up something more sinister. Like hang out with you and drop some sex-drive enabling chemicals in your soda. Then when you were all ready for it, practically begging for it, just zip up and dump you. Of course the drug would wear out, but for the period it lasted you would probably go nuts and shag a tree or a park bench. Then maybe you'd go on with your life thinking you have repressed feelings for park utilities.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Ah. Yeah, that might be a rather intense way of trolling. Don't know if THAT would work either since it'd dependent on the theory that I don't want sex because I just don't have enough hormones, but this is all rather theoretical anyway. . . .
It sounds like an awful lot of work to try to ruin someone's day/week/life, but if that sort of thing is important to you I suppose some people might say "just admire the determination!"
For some, trolling is a serious art. . . .
swankivy 3 years ago
Well I certainly couldn't go through with it because there is the possibility that I would get raped. You seem stubborn enough to not take no for an answer and combined with the euphoria of a sudden sex-drive, I'd say I would have to make a quick escape.
It's a so awesome troll that you can't even begin to imagine how it would be like.
Yes, trolling is in fact an art form. It requires creativity, intelligence and very often an in-depth analysis of the victim to achieve success.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
And such a good cause and worthy use of time and resources, too!
swankivy 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Don't worry I'm expendable.
Besides irritating you or trying to is a noble and just cause.
You seem extremely focused on this whole Asexuality thing, which is quite frankly kind of boring for those of us who have transcended such petty things as discussing or trying to create awareness of sexual orientations or lacks thereof.
It's kind of funny that a few idiots has caused you to devote time to this thing. It just makes me wonder how much of your time I could waste if I devoted myself to it.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Nah. I'm not "extremely focused" on it--it's just something I'm interested in helping others understand. I've always been fine with it--and would have been even if there weren't any others--but after I wrote an essay about it I got so many e-mails about "thanks SO much for doing this" and "I'm so glad I'm not the only one!" that I figured it was long overdue. YouTube's just another place where I can deliver the message to people who'd rather listen than read.
swankivy 3 years ago
It's also not a response to a few idiots. My essay and video series are made to address points and clarify understanding. I don't really care about idiots understanding--I can't make someone learn if they don't want to and won't listen. I do hope to help other asexual people and those in their lives get a clearer picture of what normal is for these folks, and help them understand themselves/their loved ones. I don't think it's a waste of time to spread info on subjects I care about.
swankivy 3 years ago
Your IM logs are hilarous btw.
I'm sure this hypothetical guy(person?) will find you, and when he does he'll stay away from your cat and you'll live even happier than you are now. Something you maybe are too stubborn to hope for.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Ha.
(And I don't have a cat. Not a real one anyway. Perhaps a couple stuffed animals.)
Why would I be "stubborn" if I don't hope for something I'm not interested in and can't imagine wanting? Am I stubborn because I don't aspire to one day love onions, or because I don't particularly wish I was tall?
How about wishing one day I could know the beauty of having orange as a favorite color?
Yup, sounds absurd and meaningless no matter how I slice it.
swankivy 3 years ago
Sure it could exist, in fact I'm like that myself. I want to live alone, but if I met someone I really really really really really loved I wouldn't hesitate to change that.
It's practical to have a person you can't stay away from close by.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Yup. The hypothetical person.
I don't have some unbreakable policy on file that I've signed by which I've promised to live alone for the rest of my life. I just expect to want to.
If I met someone who changed my wish to do so, I don't have anything holding me back.
It's not very complicated. . . .
swankivy 3 years ago
Maybe you could make a video about that topic, and call me a jerk. That would be interesting.
Oh I would like it if you called me at least a bastard, I don't like the whole jerk thing.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I think what you are dealing with is that you have not yet met someone special enough to you to want such a thing. Don't get me wrong, you probably share strong connections to people, but maybe equally distributed; There is no clear "winner"(to word it badly). So if you live with one, then you'd feel inlclined to live with all the other people you valued equally much or at least let them live with you.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Don't know that I'd call that "dealing with" anything. This isn't a struggle or some issue I'm going through. It's how I feel about relationships and living with other people. If "not interested" can only look like "not interested . . . YET!" to you, I don't think I can talk you out of it, but I suggest you think about what a person who hasn't wanted, doesn't want, and never will want a life partner/roommate would look like. Couldn't it happen? Couldn't it exist?
swankivy 3 years ago
So what do you think such a person would be like? If you have to imagine one?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I describe myself as aromantic because I cannot conceive of wanting such a thing. I don't want sex and I don't want companionship of any life-partner-like sort. This is a logical dead end to keep suggesting that I imagine someone I can't imagine. I can't imagine wanting that, so how could I dream up a conception of a person who'd make me want it? The only reason I say "It could happen" is that I'm describing how I feel and have always felt, not what I will always feel (which I can't know).
swankivy 3 years ago
So if someone want's to live with you and you love that person you can't because then you fear that it won't be possible to live the way you want? I think that's a bit strange, why should it not be achievable?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
This is a hypothetical situation. If I met someone I wanted to live with, my feelings on living alone would change. I've never met someone I want to live with, but I can assure you that if something were to change so I wanted to cohabitate with that person, I wouldn't say "Oh but we can't because then I can't live the way I wanted to before I met you." Meeting that person changes how I want to live. Unless I meet that person, it's pointless to ask how I'll feel without knowing that person.
swankivy 3 years ago
Neither do I. I'm not socially inept and do prefer to some times hang out with friends.
Oh and of course you should do your own dish washing and such. I was just talking about sharing love and companionship when it is wanted, and solitude when that is wanted.
With a big enough house that sould be perfectly possible.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I don't have to share a house with someone--big or small--to invite "love and companionship"--on my terms--when I want to. I don't know what it is about living together that seems so attractive to you that you keep trying to tell me it's possible for me to have it and still have everything I like about living alone. If I live with someone else, at all, I don't live alone. I like living alone. Isn't that all I need to say, really? That this is how I want it?
swankivy 3 years ago
If you had no added responsibilities then? I don't see why that would be a problem achieving.
Actually I to live a life in solitude and most of my time i want to do my uni. work in peace alone. I'm also a introvert, but that does not mean I would dislike living with someone.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Nonono. I want all the responsibility to be MINE. I don't WANT someone else washing my dishes or buying food for me or sharing cleaning duties. One thing I really value is having my own place which is always how I left it and how I want it.
As for being an introvert, :shrug:--it manifests differently for different people. I'm an introvert because when given a choice I choose activities to do alone, but I'm not shy and don't have a PROBLEM interacting with others. It's fun within reason.
swankivy 3 years ago
Haha. Well people living together are not constantly interacting or even together. You'd probably get your "alone" time if you asked too. Really it's nothing weird about that
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I'm aware of that. I've lived alone since 2000, and I'm 30, so you do the math--I've lived with other people most of my life. However, when folks who are traveling to visit me stay for a couple days, they often know I want to have some alone time and like to leave me to it. It's better than nothing, but it's not the same as having the house to yourself. I don't want to share responsibilities and living space with anyone.
swankivy 3 years ago
May I ask why you are most comfortable alone?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Just like it that way. Same reason I can't have music on while I'm writing a book--it's how my brain is built. I love interacting with other people and to some extent I like hanging out with wonderful people. I have more friends than (literally) anyone I know who's not famous--I get kidded about it by some friends who wish they had more people in their lives. I have an active social life. But ultimately I'm an introvert--which is not the same thing as shy.
swankivy 3 years ago
Many people don't want a partner, they end up with one. Not all people is searching for a partner.
Sure this won't happen with you?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Nope. Not "sure" about anything of the sort. Saying I was sure would make it a belief. I consider it a description, not a belief or a decision. I think I can expect to continue to feel the way I've always felt and continue to NOT feel something that sounds like it'd be foreign to me, but obviously insisting that I'll NEVER NEVER NEVER change my mind would turn it into dogma. No dice.
swankivy 3 years ago
What is a life partnership? Living together?
I think you would actually quite like to live together with the right person. Since you say you don't, could it perhaps be that you just haven't met a person interesting enough? I have in many occasions been wrong on such things. Like made claims that I was sure held for me, but in fact after a while it turned out to be wrong.
Don't get me wrong, asexuality is something that you clearly feel, but living together with a soulmate is out of the quest?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Life partners doesn't = roommates; it's a give and take that's mutual. I seem to be most comfortable as a soloist, not a duet, you know?
I know that's how I feel the same way a lot of people know they want a partner despite never having had one (or having had the right one). I'm not saying it's impossible that I'll meet someone who'd change how I feel, but I *am* saying it isn't a pre-existing desire I have (and therefore not something I'm searching to fill).
swankivy 3 years ago
No matter how much I like someone, I want to be alone after a little while. I just start to crave solitude after too much social interaction. Another person in my house is noise. Sometimes noise is okay and sometimes noise is great. But normally I feel most comfortable and most myself in the quiet.
It's only in the quiet that I can do my creative works and have the mental silence I need not to go crazy, I think. I treasure living alone. I never want to go back to having a roommate.
swankivy 3 years ago
Hey, maybe I should not troll and ask a serious question... hmm.
Oh yeah. Do you think you could love a person and be a couple in all ways that "normal" couples share love without the sex part? You know, sex and love are not the same thing.
If so, where do I sign up?
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Many asexuals do couple up and fall in love, either with other asexuals or sexual people with whom they have some arrangement or compromise. There are as many different ways of achieving the compromise as there are for sexual couples who don't want the exact same thing.
But me personally? I am an aromantic asexual, and I don't want a partner. I have quite a few people in my life I truly love, but I don't have a life partnership with them and don't want to.
Sign up at AVEN!
swankivy 3 years ago
So I've seen all your videos now, or at least some and I think they all made me just a little bit more stupid.
Now that's quite an achievement! Congratulations, if only I could doom you with my permanent presence. That would be suitable punishment for making me even more stupid.
Damn woman, now I will have to train hard to reach the same amount of awesomeness that I once possessed.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Enjoy, trollie.
swankivy 3 years ago
spaceapeshit,
Quoting you: "...made me just a little bit more stupid."
I have news for you buddy, you've been stupid for a long time, and nobody helped you. Take responsibility for your own actions! You could start getting smarter if you want.
...and hey, nice new channel! Joined: January 06, 2009)
What's the occasion?
TroopsPostTrauma 3 years ago 9
This comment has received too many negative votes show
This asexual woman is clearly not having a hormonal imbalance resulting in reduced cock cravings. Neither do I think she is deluded. I just think she is most likely too tight and just not suited for sex, therefore she just does not like it. Rather obvious that people like that don't like the whole sex thing. Heck, If I was a dwarf I'd be asexual too. I saw some dwarf porn once and if I was a dwarf I'd just loose any desire and burst into a laughter every time. That's probably what she does too.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
What dwarf are you talking about?
Or, wait, are you calling me a dwarf? It's not an insult, but it's not an accurate term for me. I'm actually a couple inches too tall to even be a little person. But dwarfs are a specific kind of little person with a distinctive skeleton. You know that right?
Not to mention sexual desires aren't lessened by being a dwarf if you are one. Available partners might be lessened due to fewer people finding them attractive, but sex drive? Still there.
swankivy 3 years ago
Who said it was an insult? What's insulting about being a dwarf? I just think Dwarfs doing the naughty stuff is hilarious.
See you are trying to create a false statement by assuming a false premise.
Neither did I call you a dwarf. As you say, you don't quite fit that awesome description. However I do note that you may share some similarities with them in the sex department.
You seem like a very tight woman. By that I mean weird.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
Shit I made that classical mistake of writing loose when I meant lose. Man what has the world come to.
I will have to repent for that.
spaceapeshit 3 years ago
I noticed that. Forty lashes.
swankivy 3 years ago
I wonder why this guy was questioning your motives for using OkCupid when you had already explained them so thoroughly on your page. Maybe he thinks OkCupid should only be for seeking mates and booty-calls, not platonic relationships.
BTW, what was it that you were drinking in the video?
Akira625 3 years ago
Uh, a can of soda! :)
swankivy 3 years ago
For some weird reason the can resembled a beer can to me, though I doubt you're the beer-chugging type. :)
Akira625 3 years ago
Yeah, no beer. I don't have a use for the stuff.
swankivy 3 years ago
Hey, just a note to say that you should post a transcript for these because you talk really fast which makes it hard to grasp or to let things sink in.
greenelf12 3 years ago
Sorry--I had to re-record the video five different times because it kept getting too long, so talking fast was necessary to keep it short enough to fit with the time restrictions on YouTube. Not everything I said was scripted, either, so that makes it difficult.
swankivy 3 years ago
Aye, (sorry that's my scotishness coming through here :) )
but you always sound fast also I just mean the back and forth convosations via email.
greenelf12 3 years ago
Yeah. It's difficult to get it crammed into a ten-minute video if I have a lot to say, so I compensate by going fast. I can talk pretty fast if I have to! But most of my videos do run close to the ten-minute mark, so I'd have to either split them up or say less if I wanted to talk slower. Sorry it's so tough to understand. Some of my videos link to transcripts but this one I don't have listed anywhere because I didn't think he was a jerk. :)
swankivy 3 years ago
I do think it's possible to say what you say using less words though a lot of that's to do with a persons personality, personaly i'm a nutshell talker.
Anyway you remind me of somone mainly because she's asexual, a writer, is opinonated and talks a lot :) I find that quite intresting :)
greenelf12 3 years ago
Hey! Glad to see you back. Yet another great response and explanation. Thanks again for doing this.
bURRkEEF 3 years ago
I'm glad you decided to post another video. It is always good to watch them. Your looking good kid!
Lonergoat 3 years ago
I think a lot of woman would feel the same as you do about not wanting men to just be attracted to their appearance. They would also want to be liked because of their personality as well :-)
Interesting that u mentioned Eragon, because just the other day I went by the bookshop to have a browse and I saw the new Eragon books on display - with posters and boards set up around them - and I wondered if u had read it or written an essay about it yet.
Sikosm 3 years ago
Yup! Though a lot of them are probably a little more flattered than disappointed if someone thinks they're sexy. For me it's like "God, now I have to deal with this crap."
And as for Eragon, you can find the essay I wrote on my site in the essays section. :)
swankivy 3 years ago
Ah, I checked your website again. I meant the new Paolini book with the golden dragon on the cover... can't remember the title of it off-hand. I've reread your essays on the first two books quite a few times, but I was wondering if you had read the third one yet. I haven't and don't particularly want to - except to see how bad it is. But i'd prefer to get it from a library so I don't have to waste money on it!
Sikosm 3 years ago
Ahh yes, Brisingr. (Who remembers a title like that except a fan or a book nerd, right?) I am in the process of reading the third one. I read the first two when I worked at a bookstore--the first because I was a kids' dept. head and wanted to know whether to recommend it, and the second because people who liked the 1st essay kept asking me to. I didn't intend to read Brisingr 'cause I wasn't going to buy it, but then a fan of the essays gave me a free copy and asked me to review it. :)
swankivy 3 years ago
haha very "nice" of them to do so... seeing as you explicitly said at the end of the second essay that you would beat up whoever gave you "Eldest" as a presentv(and gave photo evidence of you doing so)! lol
Sikosm 3 years ago
LOL--well to be honest it was a digital version of the book, and it was definitely given to me not with the suggestion that I'd enjoy it but with the implication that I'm to entertain the world with another evil essay. :D
I have begun to read it and have already amassed a series of observations, and on this one I'm making a list of anytime I come across a hackneyed simile or metaphor. The thing is infected with them. Does a fire really have to be "glowing LIKE RUBIES!"? Can't it just glow?
swankivy 3 years ago
since when do rubies even glow? I am so looking forward to the essay, but no pressure to rush it lol
Sikosm 3 years ago
That's one of my major problems with Paolini's writing; his similes and metaphors are not only full of unnecessary decorations, but they often actually make no sense. Like that one he had in a previous book: "Black as a forgotten pool." Huh? Since when does something being forgotten make it black? If you went to observe how black it was, wouldn't that make it not forgotten? NO SENSE! He also has this trend in this book of making most of his metaphors relate to precious stones or metals.
swankivy 3 years ago
hmmm we can only hope that his writing gets better with time, i guess.
Sikosm 3 years ago
YAYYY YOUR BACK! :)
invaderbones 3 years ago
Hi Swankivy, Very well said. It's funny 'cause yesterday I's watching one of your videos, I just picked one- Asexuality Top 10: Honorable Mentions, 'cause I'm already familiar w/you. I wanted to leave a general comment starting with "I know this is out of the blue considering this video is 6 mos. old...".
Anyways, I's going to say that you're a great voice for asexuality. I'm heterosexual, & don't share your experience, but I've great respect for you. Great stuff. Thanks for being real.
woodessence 3 years ago
People still comment on six-month-old videos every day. :) Comment anytime.
And thanks for saying I'm a good voice for the subject. I'm not trying to be the poster child or anything--it's nowhere near as big a part of my life as some people seem to think it is--but I do think it's important that people like me learn that it's okay to feel disinterested in sex and that it isn't necessarily a PROBLEM, so . . . like anything I care about, I discuss it in detail. :) Thanks for the props!
swankivy 3 years ago
Your welcome! Yes, I unnertstand that you are not claiming to be a represident of anyone but yourself, but once in a while a person comes along who puts it into words in a way that few are able. Reluctant gurus are the best!
I agree, some things need to be discussed in detail. That way there is less excuse for misunderstanding; it wakes and shakes up the lazy thinkers and narrow minds. Time well spent!
It's great that this is only one faucet of you, and that you cover it Thoreauly.
woodessence 3 years ago
The letter almost sounds like a guy I know named "Raven".
As far as the book thing goes, I'm really getting tired of people talking about Twilight. Twilight is not a good book.
I have a feeling that you would enjoy a site called Vloggerheads. It 1) doesn't have a time limit just a file size limit 2) has people that talk about pretty much anything.
Zed2six 3 years ago
Interesting; I've never read Twilight, but have heard TONS about how bad it is (in many of the same ways I consider Eragon bad) from too many people I trust to think I'd enjoy it. I'd better just not pick it up.
Vloggerheads sounds interesting. I'm on YouTube mainly for exposure, though--get my ideas out--so it's important to me to make my videos viewable on YouTube too.
swankivy 3 years ago