Just wanted to let you know you're not alone with your feelings! I had lived near Munich for a year and everyday in the first months I felt alone (especially with the language)! Honestly, living there you learn so fast! Why not study abroad or become an au pair? Germany's really great and I can tell you see that! Plus, you have an advantage because you know people there already. I also made some blogs in German but made most private haha! Best of luck to you and your German!
I'm a little confused. Were you planning on being there longer? Don't get down on yourself kiddo! You're still very cute and I know you'll keep growing mentally. Just don't start abusing food, alcohol etc. Well at least try not to. The RNC is on today! Ooops, maybe that won't cheer you up but it might be good for a few laughs! Best! At least that latest hurricane wasn't so bad.
I very much liked this post: very brave and honest. Perhaps you need some time away from you tube, but I hope you stick with it. IMHO you are being far too hard on yourself for feeling language-adrift in Germany. It's notoriously hard to become fluent in another language in just a few years!
I think you (and the other people from outside Germany on 888) were so brave to come to that gathering! You have my full respect and admiration for that, because it was really scary enough to meet all these people even with German as mother tongue. And I think you should not worry a bit about not understanding everything of the German stuff there. There were so many dialects from all over the country involved and everything was happening so fast, it was crazy and completly overwhelming.
I hope you keep going with your videos, because that is the sort of realworld-hero inspiration that people like me need, to maybe learn and use(!) other new languages, too. Thanks for that! :)
I totally know how you feel as far as the language thing. I've also felt the whole "Wow, my German sucks because I can't understand what anyone is saying" but I think it also depends on the accent and the person who is speaking, not just the listener. Don't be hard on yourself. You've been studying, what, two years? I've been studying almost 6 years and mine is still super bad.
You're great.
If you wanna MSN, message me your e-mail and I'll add you!
Hey! Yes, the gathering was very overwhelming for all of us. I really hope that you will be better soon. I just got to know you and I'd love to see more of your videos. It is a strange time right now. We have to go through it. Hope to see you again someday <3
take a break if you need but don't quit like niner i just sub'd not long ago.Meeting new ppl is allways hard cause you want to make a good impression and atleast your not me i make terrible ones IRL i think thats cause i get introduced to ppl most when im drinking:PIt takes alot of courage to go halfway around the world by yourself and meet ppl you only know from a website so i think you're doing allrighat and i hope you stay.
I hope you'll start to feel better soon, you will return to Germany (next year?) and then you'll know more German and you'll know what to expect from the people.
I'm really glad you were there at 888 (I had breakdowns during the trip too, the whole language thing can get overwhelming).
I'm sure your German isn't as bad as you say, it takes more than a year to learn a language, and it takes courage to actually use it.
I totally understand what you mean. I was feeling sad for you, because at some point during the gathering you really looked depressed. It was just a LOT new people to meet at once and so many things to see that the human brain has too much after some time and wants it's time off.
It also took me a while to get back to normal after coming home from Australia after 7 months.
You can't stop now. I just subscribed recently. :D Give yourself sometime. The fall will soon be here and moods will change. Don't be so hard on yourself.
don't you know you are already perfect? like the rest of us, you are a jewel, but not one of those manmade gems that sparkle dimmly, you're a godmade jewel, a polished stone with bended woven colors and brilliant variations. and life will hit us hard, but it only polishes off our rough corners and makes all the more better. being hurt teaches us to have more mercy for others and that's a good thing, right? my best wishes to you sweetie
First of all, it's good to see you vlogging again!
Regarding what you said and reading Kerstins comment, it seems to be quite common for 'us' to constantly reflect what exactly we're doing here and why. Sometimes I edit a video and then I ask myself why I should upload it, or where that whole yt-thing should lead me...
But then again, it was great for me to meet you all at 888, made it all worth and I want to provide you with some (hopefully) entertaining videos.
I was totally overstrained at the first day by the amount of people. It got better the next two days, cause we already knew each other a little bit. But I would've loved to talk to everybody a bit more. It all was just overwhelming. Must have been even more for you.
Hope you feel better soon! And I hope you won't give up vlogging...
Thanks so much for your comment. It helps to know that everyone else was totally overwhelmed there too. But it was still great to meet you and everyone else there, so it's not like I regret it or anything. :)
(((Cayla))) Good to see you again! But it's sad that you're so depressed. I know telling you to cheer up won't really help, but you should know that we miss you over here!
Oh, and your German is not bad, the first day of the gathering was a little too much for me, too :)
Yeah, I'm in one of those thinking-about-quitting-video-making phases, too. I feel like I don't contribute that much to the communnity atm...
Well, I hope you manage to come back to germany next year. I wanna try to make it there next year too. I hope it's in Hamburg next year. That's only a 2 hour drive away :)
My friend's been home for his birthday over the weekend but is going back to Berlin tomorrow. He definitely isn't looking forward to it because last week he got drunk and woke up at 9am in an all night gay bar, and when he asked someone to help him get a taxi some random man led him into a 'sex cinema' and took his junk out. Go Germany!
Sorry you feel down about being home, but I hope you keep up the vlogging!
Good to see a vlog from you. As a new subscriber & friend, I'm only now getting to learn more about you.
The thing about our own personal angsty moments at 888 are that they are all within ourselves. All anyone remembers is how awesome, open and friendly you were.
It was great to have another native English speaker there. My German is non-existent, so it was great that there was enough non-Germans to make me not feel I was forcing people to speak English just for me.
It was clearly very hard for all of us to leave Munich (as you can see from other people's vlogs) simply because the people there were beyond amazing, but for the three of us that had to back that up with actually leaving the country (all on the same day I think) it was doubly hard. We had to walk away from special things & return to 'normal life' where people expect us just to slot back in like nothing ever happened. Depth of pain at the loss is proportional to the heights of happiness we felt.
Thank you so much for your comments. It helps to know that you understand how I feel. :) And I was also soooo glad you and Ally were there for the same reason! It was really super awesome to meet everyone and truly a unique experience.
Actually, I was very impressed (and slightly humbled) at how much of the ambient conversation was in English. OK, it's one thing for group instructions to be given in both languages, but for two or more Germans to speak another language just because I was in earshot was amazing. I will always be grateful to them, and they may never realise.
My problem now is that I'm actually thinking of moving there. A quirky lack of German skills in a visitor isn't so endearing if I live there...
There were a lot of people there that willingly spoke English, which I think is cool, and I know that they wanted the chance to practice too. But on the first day, I think I made the mistake of spending too much time where there was a lot of German being spoken and thus lost my confidence. Plus I am shy. But hey, whatever, it all turned out great. :)
Moving to Deutschland!? Cool! I wanna too!
But seriously, if you make an effort with the language, that is also endearing. :)
Do you have a lisp? Or is that your camera?
xxOblonglyricxx 3 years ago
Hi there,
Just wanted to let you know you're not alone with your feelings! I had lived near Munich for a year and everyday in the first months I felt alone (especially with the language)! Honestly, living there you learn so fast! Why not study abroad or become an au pair? Germany's really great and I can tell you see that! Plus, you have an advantage because you know people there already. I also made some blogs in German but made most private haha! Best of luck to you and your German!
kaitfaery 3 years ago
I'm a little confused. Were you planning on being there longer? Don't get down on yourself kiddo! You're still very cute and I know you'll keep growing mentally. Just don't start abusing food, alcohol etc. Well at least try not to. The RNC is on today! Ooops, maybe that won't cheer you up but it might be good for a few laughs! Best! At least that latest hurricane wasn't so bad.
Larrymcphereson 3 years ago
I very much liked this post: very brave and honest. Perhaps you need some time away from you tube, but I hope you stick with it. IMHO you are being far too hard on yourself for feeling language-adrift in Germany. It's notoriously hard to become fluent in another language in just a few years!
enossified 3 years ago
it was so strange to see your space. strange but good.
stephenashley74 3 years ago
I had one of those weekends on monday. Mainly because I didn't get the job I've been working toward for a month.
whitefloweret 3 years ago
I think you (and the other people from outside Germany on 888) were so brave to come to that gathering! You have my full respect and admiration for that, because it was really scary enough to meet all these people even with German as mother tongue. And I think you should not worry a bit about not understanding everything of the German stuff there. There were so many dialects from all over the country involved and everything was happening so fast, it was crazy and completly overwhelming.
revilomat 3 years ago
I hope you keep going with your videos, because that is the sort of realworld-hero inspiration that people like me need, to maybe learn and use(!) other new languages, too. Thanks for that! :)
revilomat 3 years ago
Wow, that is a really nice comment. Thank you so much for your kind words and thanks for the support.:)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
I totally know how you feel as far as the language thing. I've also felt the whole "Wow, my German sucks because I can't understand what anyone is saying" but I think it also depends on the accent and the person who is speaking, not just the listener. Don't be hard on yourself. You've been studying, what, two years? I've been studying almost 6 years and mine is still super bad.
You're great.
If you wanna MSN, message me your e-mail and I'll add you!
JamieDanger 3 years ago
Aw, thanks Jamie! :) Your comment means a lot because I know you have done this whole study abroad thing before.
paisleyduck 3 years ago
Hey! Yes, the gathering was very overwhelming for all of us. I really hope that you will be better soon. I just got to know you and I'd love to see more of your videos. It is a strange time right now. We have to go through it. Hope to see you again someday <3
stromguitar 3 years ago
Aww, thanks for your comment! I am going to try to hang in there! :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
take a break if you need but don't quit like niner i just sub'd not long ago.Meeting new ppl is allways hard cause you want to make a good impression and atleast your not me i make terrible ones IRL i think thats cause i get introduced to ppl most when im drinking:PIt takes alot of courage to go halfway around the world by yourself and meet ppl you only know from a website so i think you're doing allrighat and i hope you stay.
bearchay889 3 years ago
Thanks! :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
oh wow! it's been a week already! o_O
I miss Germany too.
I hope you'll start to feel better soon, you will return to Germany (next year?) and then you'll know more German and you'll know what to expect from the people.
I'm really glad you were there at 888 (I had breakdowns during the trip too, the whole language thing can get overwhelming).
I'm sure your German isn't as bad as you say, it takes more than a year to learn a language, and it takes courage to actually use it.
<3
Dinzla 3 years ago
Thanks, girl. I really am glad you were there too. And you are right about the language stuff... :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
I totally understand what you mean. I was feeling sad for you, because at some point during the gathering you really looked depressed. It was just a LOT new people to meet at once and so many things to see that the human brain has too much after some time and wants it's time off.
It also took me a while to get back to normal after coming home from Australia after 7 months.
As long as you stay here on YouTube im happy. :)
gembay 3 years ago
You can't stop now. I just subscribed recently. :D Give yourself sometime. The fall will soon be here and moods will change. Don't be so hard on yourself.
CallMeNiner 3 years ago
Thanks for your nice comment. I will try to hang in there. :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
don't you know you are already perfect? like the rest of us, you are a jewel, but not one of those manmade gems that sparkle dimmly, you're a godmade jewel, a polished stone with bended woven colors and brilliant variations. and life will hit us hard, but it only polishes off our rough corners and makes all the more better. being hurt teaches us to have more mercy for others and that's a good thing, right? my best wishes to you sweetie
Nyhee7 3 years ago
Wow, thanks. Very nice things to say. :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
First of all, it's good to see you vlogging again!
Regarding what you said and reading Kerstins comment, it seems to be quite common for 'us' to constantly reflect what exactly we're doing here and why. Sometimes I edit a video and then I ask myself why I should upload it, or where that whole yt-thing should lead me...
But then again, it was great for me to meet you all at 888, made it all worth and I want to provide you with some (hopefully) entertaining videos.
NarsinhaTube 3 years ago
888 itself was a trip. ^^
I was totally overstrained at the first day by the amount of people. It got better the next two days, cause we already knew each other a little bit. But I would've loved to talk to everybody a bit more. It all was just overwhelming. Must have been even more for you.
Hope you feel better soon! And I hope you won't give up vlogging...
NarsinhaTube 3 years ago
Thanks so much for your comment. It helps to know that everyone else was totally overwhelmed there too. But it was still great to meet you and everyone else there, so it's not like I regret it or anything. :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
(((Cayla))) Good to see you again! But it's sad that you're so depressed. I know telling you to cheer up won't really help, but you should know that we miss you over here!
Oh, and your German is not bad, the first day of the gathering was a little too much for me, too :)
Yeah, I'm in one of those thinking-about-quitting-video-making phases, too. I feel like I don't contribute that much to the communnity atm...
Hope to see you asap! <3
muserine 3 years ago
Please don't stop. It doesn't matter how much you contribute. We enjoy watching you!
EddyBergman 3 years ago 2
stop thinking about that, if you really whould, you'd never get that money back ;)
tavin15 3 years ago
Thanks, your point of view means a lot to me, but, yeah...everything is different now, I just can't explain it.
paisleyduck 3 years ago
Well, I hope you manage to come back to germany next year. I wanna try to make it there next year too. I hope it's in Hamburg next year. That's only a 2 hour drive away :)
EddyBergman 3 years ago
Yeah, it would be great to meet you there! :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
My friend's been home for his birthday over the weekend but is going back to Berlin tomorrow. He definitely isn't looking forward to it because last week he got drunk and woke up at 9am in an all night gay bar, and when he asked someone to help him get a taxi some random man led him into a 'sex cinema' and took his junk out. Go Germany!
Sorry you feel down about being home, but I hope you keep up the vlogging!
BaubleRob 3 years ago
Hey great little anencdote! Sounds like Berlin AND Chicago, except for maybe the 'sex cinema' part. ;)
paisleyduck 3 years ago
It's great for me cos it happened to someone else. :)
BaubleRob 3 years ago
Oh yes of course. I am very sorry that happened to your friend. :/
paisleyduck 3 years ago
Even he was laughing, though he stopped when I suggested what might have happened during the 6 hours he was unconscious in that bar. Silly boy.
BaubleRob 3 years ago
Good to see a vlog from you. As a new subscriber & friend, I'm only now getting to learn more about you.
The thing about our own personal angsty moments at 888 are that they are all within ourselves. All anyone remembers is how awesome, open and friendly you were.
It was great to have another native English speaker there. My German is non-existent, so it was great that there was enough non-Germans to make me not feel I was forcing people to speak English just for me.
cont'd...
zebidee55 3 years ago
It was clearly very hard for all of us to leave Munich (as you can see from other people's vlogs) simply because the people there were beyond amazing, but for the three of us that had to back that up with actually leaving the country (all on the same day I think) it was doubly hard. We had to walk away from special things & return to 'normal life' where people expect us just to slot back in like nothing ever happened. Depth of pain at the loss is proportional to the heights of happiness we felt.
zebidee55 3 years ago
Thank you so much for your comments. It helps to know that you understand how I feel. :) And I was also soooo glad you and Ally were there for the same reason! It was really super awesome to meet everyone and truly a unique experience.
paisleyduck 3 years ago
Actually, I was very impressed (and slightly humbled) at how much of the ambient conversation was in English. OK, it's one thing for group instructions to be given in both languages, but for two or more Germans to speak another language just because I was in earshot was amazing. I will always be grateful to them, and they may never realise.
My problem now is that I'm actually thinking of moving there. A quirky lack of German skills in a visitor isn't so endearing if I live there...
zebidee55 3 years ago
There were a lot of people there that willingly spoke English, which I think is cool, and I know that they wanted the chance to practice too. But on the first day, I think I made the mistake of spending too much time where there was a lot of German being spoken and thus lost my confidence. Plus I am shy. But hey, whatever, it all turned out great. :)
Moving to Deutschland!? Cool! I wanna too!
But seriously, if you make an effort with the language, that is also endearing. :)
paisleyduck 3 years ago