Coach Mc Guirk funniest speech about prison

[jacklazzell]

mcguirk has the right idea... it's a blast playing head games with adolescents.

[gomile1000]

DOES THAT SAY FREAKEN CARTOON NETWORK IN THE BOTTOM CORNER!?!?!?!?

[mcp33pants]

@gomile1000 Maybe in the UK it ran as a regular late nite thing?

[rab236]

@gomile1000 Adult Swim is owned by Cartoon Network and is on the same channel.

[gomile1000]

@rab236 but they have the symbol adult swim when they show adult swim shows

[MultiMar16]

I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

I DON'T THINK SO!!!!

[jadius]

This gave me the urge to make my own shiv.

[TheJeremyHenson]

I killed a man with contacts.

[offthahook8]

@TheJeremyHenson In the can?

[TerraAcox]

who disliked this???? wth

[CthulhuDarkLord]

They're still called cans.

[jjtheslayer69]

i miss this show

[shmuck444]

No Man NOO!!

[l3054]

i love how alot of it is improv

[TylerMcNamerRULES]

Coach McGuri can gut a man using contacts.

[2dtv0]

and this was played on cartoon network? i dont remember this kind of things when i was younger

[Cyanistic]

@2dtv0 Adult Swim, not Cartoon network.

[Evilmonkey66699]

@2dtv0 Actually this was on Adult Swim back when it was still part of Cartoon Network(there now considered two separate networks) but sometimes it would air during that time between the transition from the Adult Swim block and Cartoon Network around 4 am to 5 am.

[Dj0Bear]

What do you call cans in prison?

[Sam5726]

@Dj0Bear You mean actual cans? Like cans of food? Those are still cans.

[immaderp]

Jon Benjamin is awesome!

[Hamhark98]

@immaderp I heard he has a van.

[immaderp]

@Hamhark98 I heard he is great at jewing people up too.

[RP08FootSoldier]

I wish I had a coach like McGuirk in school

[ilackedtheheart]

I fucking love Jon Benjamin.

[WKUKPython]

@ilackedtheheart i knowww!! he should do an audio book

[SimoMcGauneo]

I been trying to get my pals into this for months honestly, so far I got nothing,,,,WHAT'S GOINGGGGGG OOONNNNNNNNNNN MANNNNNNN?????????????????????­??????

[thepheoniix]

3 teardrops......Noone will touch you LOL

[SuperMutherfacker]

"I killed a man with contacts."

[maysteve24]

yea it is the guy from bobs burgers. and archer

[SRR023]

old cartoon network rocks. see? remember the black and white logo? now its like... idk.

[nniuqed]

I have been to jail and prison and mcgirk actually isnt that far from the truth.....that " no man !" stuff and the stuff about the "shiv" is kinda true.....

[Farcry223]

Archer wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[gregory18000]

This is ARCHER.

[mcJoeRobs]

that show's lame

[CobeMan1221]

Brendon: how do you do?

McGuirk: NO! NO MAN! NO MAN! NOOOOO! I DONT THINK SO! I DONT THINK SO! ALRIGHT?!

Brendon: alright

McGuirk: IS IT?!

Brendon: yes

McGuirk: IS IT?! see what i mean?

Brendon: that was good

lol :3

[Trakheed]

@CobeMan1221 the deaf community appreciates your comment, but no one else does.

[CobeMan1221]

@Trakheed whats the point of this reply? i dont see the point

[PepeLeWunderkind]

@CobeMan1221 The point is deaf people can't hear, so your comment in which you typed out half the dialogue of this clip is beneficial to them, but for those of us blessed with the sense of hearing, it's not.

[CobeMan1221]

@Trakheed You do realize that a BUNCH of other people did the exact thing i did and out of all of those people you just SO HAPPEN to choose me thats why i asked whats the point of the reply :T soooo.... seriously don't reply

[Trakheed]

@CobeMan1221 You do realize that PepeLeWunderkind was the one who told you the reason of the reply and you SO HAPPEN to think it was me and you made yourself look stupid. sooooo...... seriously don't reply before you read :T

[CobeMan1221]

@Trakheed Ikr BUT! you know what i used you because i dont want to speak to him sooooo.... yep sorry i wasnt speaking to you. ( i know dumb reason) but yeah

[Horrormoviesplatters]

this is the epsiode "it's time to pay the price."

[ZIXIM50]

this sounds like the dude from bobs burgers lol

[BennyBallbreaker]

@ZIXIM50 It's the same guy lol

[evange03]

@ZIXIM50 It is the dude from bob's burgers.

[JIPALIG]

3 tear drops, no one will touch you!

[thunderstruck665]

Jon Benjamin has the most awesome deadpan voice and delivery! So much of the current success of Bob's Burgers is driven by Jon's voice alone!

[mattfoley99]

@thunderstruck665 I'd say it's the only redeeming quality! But yeah H. Jon Benjamin is the shit.

[Letter10music]

@thunderstruck665 I dont know man. As much as I like him, Bob's wife is damn funny. So are the kids.

[DrClay999]

It's funny seeing the Cartoon Network logo on a show like this.

[iscream22]

@cantwin52 Nice :-)

[trailofdeadpeople]

"Make a knife out of contacts"

[colloredbrothers]

That dude can shiv a guy in prison with his NOSE.

[PinguUncensored]

0:49



[cantwin52]

me and my brother got my 3 year old nephew to repeat that "no man! no man! no! I dont think so! i dont think so. alright? is it? is it?"

[DarkTravesty03]

make a knife out of contacts i killed a man with contacts

[sweatpants1212]

@DarkTravesty03

on the can?

[ikggooo]

"Scared straight your already straight." I can't belive they put that on CartoonNetwork!!

[BrandonC3]

@ikggooo It was leading in to the AdultSwim block.

[SmashLiXs]

how do you kill someone with contacts?

[DarkProphet94]

my brother was stabbed to death by contacts, u bastard

[adamsd86]

I don't know, you find you stuff, you make it.

[Smeltsmith]

The episode is called; It's time to pay the price. It was in the third season which overall was absolutely hilarious.

[redryan20000]

his funniest speech about prison?

so he has multiple speeches about prison?

[cloud344]

what episode is this

[Smeltsmith]

@cloud344 The episode is called; It's time to pay the price. It was in the third season which overall was absolutely hilarious.

[angeltosome]

If you don't like this show, then fuck you.  Seriously.

[MrPizzaslice]

@angeltosome its impossible to hate this show

[BrendonSmall456]

best incompetent father(ish) figure ever

we all should have a coach mcguirk

[Laughoholic146]

I killed a man with contacts!!

[judernate]

I had a teacher just like that best teach ever

[saulhudson420]

NO! NO, MAN!, NO! I DON'T THINK SO! I DON'T THINK SO! ALRIGHT? IS IT? IS IT?

[philliesruleurschool]

scared straight? your already straight

[phoenix88049]

@philliesruleurschool im already scared

[haseso88]

I love that music so much!

[MrBeerify]

as a con myself the teardrops are really just a stereotype not everyone who has a murder rap has a drop, there are other symbols such as spiderwebs and every layer of the web is a five year term

[unclestaco]

I would have cared more about school if he was my teacher.

[greenmist35]

@unclestaco same here. but im still in school

[jasperisneat]

IS IT!

[Chrisrebellion16]

Why it say Cartoon Network instead of Adult Swim

[johndy103]

Funny show, great one-liners (especially from McGuirk) except I never really enjoyed the dialogue delivery. To much mumbling, overlapping and sotto voce for my palette...

[Jeebaah]

@johndy103 That's because home movies utilizes a technique called "retroscripting", meaning most of the script's dialogue is intentionally left vague, and filled in with improvisation. The first episode was entirely improv. Towards the end of the series, the used it a bit less, but for the most part, that's what's going on.

[sweetzxx]

what's the name of this show...i forgot

[BarzOnTheWindow1]

@sweetzxx Home Movies

[JQXJQ]

Make a knife out of contacts.

[elchololo]

thats what we call it, the can

[Eternalsummersong]

This has got to be the funnest episode in home movies!

[12mastersam]

eaach tear drop repreasents someone u killed

or someone you know whos been killed

[thedirewolf45]

@12mastersam

No man, a tear drop means you have done 5 years, a lot of dumbasses believe that it is a death notch but it's not.

[BarzOnTheWindow1]

@thedirewolf45 and there I was hoping to NEVER know that sort of nonsense! Oh well!?

[ILLESTwhiteNI66A911]

fail

[emjee]

@thedirewolf45 Actually, I have heard both. You are the second person who I have heard say it means five yrs, but "back in the day" it used to mean you killed someone.Weird.

[The0neaND0NLYAndrew]

I DONT THINK SO I DONT THINK SO ALRIGHT!?!?!??!?!

[Sadman012]

That is fricken funny.

[tehBabby]

haha tags from tshirts

[Robstailey]

i know home movies will never come back but the voice actors should get together and do a radio play kind of podcast thing. i could listen to mcguirk talk endlessly.

[foolofaguyinlove]

@Robstailey I literally agree the fuck out of you on that one dude.

[tutsiwitchking]

scared straight, you're already straight lol

[TheJokerofblades]

when was this show on cartoon network..?

[lozjs]

@TheJokerofblades I saw it on Cartoon Network, here in England, in like 2005 I think.

[jrack13]

@TheJokerofblades 430 am central time on cartoon network

[shinfan2]

@jrack13 5:30 now

[96fadetoblack96]

i killed a man with contacts

in a can?

yeah xD

[invalidcookie]

Life leson : You can stab someone with anything

[S0N0FLIBERTY]

"Three Tear Drops. No One Will Touch You."

[cjcool91]

i love home movies their humor doesnt relie on gag humor its humor is simply in their conversation and charactors

[xMadFaceProductionsx]

Three teardrops...Noone will touch you L...M...F...A...O

[IAmMonsterDog]

I DON'T THINK SO! HUH!?! HUH!?! I DON'T THINK SO! XD

[Xcelegamers]

"NO! NO MAN! NO MAN, NO! I DONT THINK SO! I DONT THINK SO, RITE?!"

[binarystar300]

@Xcelegamers IS IT?! IS IT?!

[dandamaniac848]

Brendon: He's making us do a "Scared Straight" program.

Coach: Scared Straight? You're already straight.

Brendon: I'm already scared.

XD

[GeekStop1]

rofl. was this really on cartoon network???? ive seen all the series and some of it is pretty 'adult' (not sex or anything. like the themes of the programme, and the stuff they say)

[dandamaniac848]

@GeekStop1 Yeah it was... i remember staying up till 5:30 AM a couple of times and this was on.

[calcatchem]

@GeekStop1 yeah they used to play it at 1:30's on Sunday nights/Monday mornings. Now they sometimes play it 5:30am EST but its only at that time and not a roundabout (recast of the 10:00p-2:00a shows)

[zzzbrianxxx]

haha this really cheered me up.

[MrPaper11]

what season is this episode on??

[angeltosome]

Coach McGuirk > God

[jaxblade07]

the conversations in this show are genius

[zjaypo]

Make a shiv

how?

I don't know, you find stuff and you make it! HAHAHA!!!!

[TheMantisBoxer]

So Badass!!! hahahahaha

[NinjaBoy641]

No! No man! No man! NO! I DONT THINK SO! I DONT THINK SO! ALRIGHT?! IS IT?! IS IT?! IS IT?! LOLWHUT!

[12mastersam]

RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[janelane64]

lol well then the documentary LIIIIIED to meeee!! But thanks for the information anyway ;)

[Tiffatron9000]

I killed a man with contacts. lol!

[janelane64]

Lmao three tear drops in prison means you do butt sex (at least I think so, I saw it on one of those prison documentaries lol)

[flimdfff]

a tear drop means you killed someone

[14alexjb]

1:04 haha make a shiv

[TheGingerlocks]

no no no man no... (cracking up)

[3796saintkiller]

H.Jon Benjamin is F'n hilarious!

[SwirlyJune]

cannot stop laughing..

[Hamzahm]

0:50 - 1:01 is the best

[MicrowaveThief]

Did anyone else notice the CN logo? WTF?

[Ozzywozzy]

I think the show started on UPN and after it got canceled cartoon network/adult swim picked it up for a good while, in fact it's still on there late at night sometimes.

[MicrowaveThief]

Yeah, but It is suppose to air on [as] only. I mean, it's pretty PG-13 most the time. But still.

[BigOlBagOfWhatsNew]

I gave this exact speech to some drunk kid about 2 hours ago

[Ranaldo20]

NO! NO MAN!

[SeasickPirate]

How about a nice Kermit the Frog?

[CrystalHunter1989]

No, I want a skull...

[BlackChaos405]

Ok, well im gonna go ahead and give you Kermit the frog.

[PRAGMATICIST]

i know wat u means, thats pretty fucking irnoic and funny

[friskycurtain]

I can just imagine walking up to someone and saying, "I once killed a man with contacts in the can."

[lthobbes1]

"three teardrops, noone will touch you" hahahahahahahaha McGuirk is hilarious... Just FYI

I was a correction officer, only the total idiots had teardrop tattoos, it's like tattooing "never give me a job" on your forehead. Guys with "thug life" tattooed across their fingers were the ones begging their mommies on the phone to bail them out, claiming they have changed and have a job interview next week at Waffle House...

[CrystalHunter1989]

You could write some really funny stories with that experience.

[Zombiewalker33]

Damn...you burned them turds. If what you say is true, the exact people you're talking about had to hear the oldschool voice from Mortal Kombat saying "BRUTALITY" the second you posted that comment.

[tkhushrenada]

@lthobbes1

Sam from England here. What do the tear drops mean then? Is it a gang marking?

[Jonnybravo1089]

@tkhushrenada

i think it has something to do with killing someone on the inside? not sure

[kardinalboogey89]

@lthobbes1 Rick Ross?

[sheistshotti]

@lthobbes1 COs are douches

[StanleyBradshaw]

@lthobbes1 What about the whole making a shiv out of contacts thing?

[ThingxHulk]

@lthobbes1

ehh. theres a few people I know of who work in hospitals, as janitors or other maintenance people who have the tear drops.

its not all what people thinks it means, as you may know. theres like, 4 different definitions of the tear drop.

[pele6922]

@lthobbes1 : don't forget the ever popular "Only God can judge me" tattoo.

Apparently, the forgot about the jury of their peers which sent them to the.........CAN.

[other6people]

when he was trying to get out of the car in bye bye greasy that was the funniest for me

[CerpinTaxt37]

@other6people

Possibly my favourite episode of the series

[TheBasicAnyway1991]

@other6people How does this have any votes?

[other6people]

@TheBasicAnyway1991 Haha whoa i dont know. But that was so funny he was like singing and they couldnt hear him

[TikiShootah]

oh man the teardrop thing had me in tears. Im think woah mcguirk is hardcore lol

[maiasm]

0:50- 1:01

I was dying laughing. Everytime I see it, I'm in tears!! McGuirk is hilarious!!

[annettecls]

The sound of Bendon hitting the ground was especially funny.

[Booginns]

knife out of contacts

[jjws]

IS IT!? IS IT?!

[199iluvmookie]

every time i see this i laugh till i damn near cry.. this is one of the funniest cartoons ever.. too bad it's on at odd ball ass hours..

[rejectofsoul24]

thats why i bought a ps3

[emarskineel]

why?

[crissdudeman777]

No! NO MAN! I DONT THINK SO! NO! ALRIGHT!?

[goldcatt88]

mcguirk is the MAN!!! WOOOOOO

[diget]

i dunno, you find stuff, you make it.

hahahahahahahaha

[rmf86]

"I killed a man with contacts."

[IwillKillYourCereal]

NO!! I DON'T THINK SO!!

LMAO!!! Coach mcguirk is the best character ever XD

[JesseUrbin]

Lol Brandon got three dot's under his eye.Lmao!

[JesseUrbin]

Lol dont call it "The Prison" you call it the Can.

Oh,and what do you call Can's in The Can?

Oh,like food can's?No those are still food you call them can's.

[frequentflyer12]

I killed a man with contacts...

In the can?

Yeah.

[soragarza]

what eepisod number is this

[shocktrooper42]

IS IT?! IS IT?!?!?

[SGGreenman]

best show ever

Lol!!!