Eddie Izzard's Noah's Ark

[mrtheblr]

The Bible's not a fukin history book! Christians need to learn that. Unfortunately, most Christians are complete retards about the Bible. This is coming from a theology student. There are historical elements, but most of the old testament has theological significance. When you read it like a history book, you miss out on all the theological meaning behind the stories! Dig deeper, there's truth outside of historical truth.

[HBOGART99]

For sake of argument let's say he could get 50 million tons of animals in a boat and they survived. Each pair of animals would have to have a male and female child , they would have to interbreed etc etc. The problem with the bible is that it is filled with very old fairy tales. People that still believe things like that are part of the uneducated masses that will be ever deminishing from the earth just like the ones that believed in the gods

[sew19852004]

By human means, no the story is impossible. By God's means, nothing is impossible. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I do believe that God allowed only the people and animals on the Ark to survive. Though his points are rather amusing.

[khazal12]

@sew19852004 So when the two penguins who made the trip to the Middle East from Antarctica, got off in Ararat and decided, "Hey instead of going to the Arctic, which is perfectly habitable for us, let's make a trip more than twice as long back to Antarctica, somehow". Just looking at the species variation in Australia alone clearly shows that those animals never went to the Middle East. And how about all the other people who had boats at the time... did their boats just stop working?

[khazal12]

@sew19852004 If Noah and his family are Arab and where the last surviving people, where the hell do black, white and oriental people come from? It's not simply about, could God do it? It's a matter of, even if he DID do it, that doesn't follow with what we see now. And you can't say nothing is impossible, if I ask you "Can God make himself not exist?" what would be the reply. The whole, 'God can do anything' thing is as impossible as the claim that nothing is impossible.

[firemaninheaven]

@karezza6 go fuck your self, I am sorry you have no sense of humor, but don't blame other people you BASTERD PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!

[nationalistactivist]

This man supports Labour. But the Labour25 has a bad name for itself after beasting all those children. find the true story on w w w . Labour25.com Iam not a troll, go see for yourself.

[AMuseSingWorld]

Oh come on, read the book, it hadn't rained yet silly people. That's why everyone thought Noah was nuts for building a big boat in the middle of no where.

[davenathan2002]

"We found a child..."

Spent the rest of the video laughing.

[bgreen97]

I did not enjoy the video but I am going to like it because i just masturbated and i am in a good mood

[herpderpmonkey]

Questions I asked as a child (as well as any other kid):

1. How did animals get placed back into multiple regions the world afterward?

2. How did animals survive for 40 days without food & not eat each other?

3. How did ants and other matriarchal species (& 300,000+ insect species) survive?

4. How did the plants survive?

5. How did antarctic animals like penguins get there?

6. Elephants eat 600 lb a day...

7. TONS more questions that noone answered when I asked AS A CHILD.

[cw71017]

@herpderpmonkey Actually, you always seemed to get the same answer: God works in mysterious ways.

[MrBuch169169]

"So did God tell him to make a boat, or did Noah just use his common sense?"

How.... how in all the years I've been alive has that very obvious, brilliant point never occured to me?!

[52Hangfire]

Its a joke for gods sake ...

[freemovies411]

Lol at how the squirell refers to the tigers as "them stripe-y bastards". XD

4:59 Wait a minute... The Owl and the Pussy-Cat Poem?! OH MY GOSH. XD

[FreeeeS]

"The World" was pretty small in Noah's days... :P

[TheHornedOne81]

40 days and 40 nights is used as a poetic way of saying "A damned long time". Just FYI.

[tjones590]

@dsrtdawg1 Well, maybe not their mother, but they most likely got into some brother-sister incest.

[Absolution913]

I can't stop staring at his bulge. xD

[TomVodkaCollins]

@Absolution913 HAA! Me, too! X^D

[dsrtdawg1]

Let me save you all a lot of speculation...if you believe the bible ...you're an idiot that believes Cain and Able screwed their Mom (Eve) to create children...or you believe the bible is speculation and not factual word of god.

[mrnf4life]

ricky gervais stealing other comedians material. well played..............

[2085418171514]

Before Darwin it was not understood that nature is a constant battlefield. If you see a picture or painting of animals that look like they live in perfect harmony, it was probably created before darwin or by some creationist. So, that's where the idea that eddie is making fun of came from. This is in combination of course with it undoubtedly being passed on as a story, and so being influenced by the opinions of every person who told it. (which is mainly why the bible contradicts itself so much)

[HearMySinging]

I didn't recognize him in men's clothing... It was all the funny that tipped me off.

[TomVodkaCollins]

@HearMySinging I prefer him in a skirt. He's got great legs.

[HearMySinging]

@TomVodkaCollins Agreed

[BushidoWarriorr1]

impossible to eat the Himalayas challenge accepted

[DarkWolf958]

i don't get that the squirl wife the cat and owl part

[fryxcd7v]

@DarkWolf958

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea in beautiful pea-green boat.

An old English children's poem

[skywize]

'Why do you think it's impossible?' 'Try it!' ROFL

[Brandon10Sieber]

Well I live in Washington and I still haven't built a boat! Or wooden shoes for that matter!

[OldScarsNewHate]

There's nothing there, man, it's all dead!

[eteledevil]

we find a child :))

[Farsight20]

nine dislikes. Although I enjoy the video. Just not the disrespectful arrogant comments.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@Farsight20 YouTube allows you to dislike comments if you want. Either way, glad you liked it.

[TheAndiePerson]

Eddie Izzard is like a 1 man play with invisible props.

[rachelisinsane]

FISH ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!!

[eltotoX]

Why would fish need to be rescued from a friggin flood? Maybe for when the giant toilet gets flushed?

[ilikezappa]

@eltotoX Yes ,fish seem to do rather well in a flood . By the way , where did Noah get the Kangaroos from? FedEx?

[eteledevil]

we find a chield :))

[purvicide]

Yeah, in the event of a biblical flood, one needs to put aquatic life in an ark.

[fluffyzhangfei]

p2 to eat two spoonfuls of the himilayas(god i hope that's spelled right) everyday. i'm pretty faithful in the diea that we, as a human race, can band together to eat the himilayas and any other chain of mountainous geological features that dare oppose our authority.

[fluffyzhangfei]

pt1While i support Mr. izzards theory that noah did not have 2 of every animal on his boat. because i mean you need some good technology to take care of lizards and penguins on the same boat that's a lot of different environments. and like seals and squids and things ehy would you put them in the boat? put some leashes on those things and let them run alongside it. oh and you cant put a lion and a deer ina boat and get off the boat with a lion and a deer. anyway if you get everyone in the world

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@fluffyzhangfei Haha. I'm with you there brother/sister!

[Babek79]

@fluffyzhangfei

Mr Noah had 7 of every kind of clean animal(according to the novel)

[proud2bpagan]

@fluffyzhangfei Christians would tell you that fish didn't need to go,bc it specifies that it was only required that everything with lungs went..well..that leaves whales and dolphins on the boat,doesn't it?And the lowered salinity would kill all the animals that stayed in the water..not to mention the animals that happened to be over a dry area when the water receeded that should've returned to the ocean..can you imagine smell?

[hotheadpaisen]

@fluffyzhangfei Not to mention keeping 4000 species of termites, 200 species of woodpeckers and several species of beavers, of and carpenter ants alive for a year ON A WOODEN BOAT!

Funny stuff!

[susanshelit]

WARNING! Don't eat or drink ANYTHING while watching this!! XD

[chicarbiomed]

@susanshelit lmao, I ALMOST made that mistake, had to turn sideways to avoid not spraying water.

[creaturefthenight2]

i went to see that on sunday it was funny as heck, i've never laughed so much in my life :)

[Hayri2011]

An Owl and the Pussycat reference? Never thought I'd hear that!

[DeadshotDivinity]

That better description is taking a while.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@DeadshotDivinity Hahaha. Updated just for you :)

[SirGrowalott]

I think Noah fucked animals and loved it.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@SirGrowalott ROFL! That made me laugh!

[SirGrowalott]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim Cool, glad to be of service good Sir. :-)

[superwout]

@SirGrowalott THAT MAKES HIM A FAUNAPHILE

[FlameFeathers]

Students and cake-mix lol

[tonyduuh]

wasnt he a tranny?

[superclaydude]

@tonyduuh Transvestism ≠ transsexualism. Eddie is proof.

[tonyduuh]

@superclaydude

yesh,i know its not the same, but how's so that he stopped dressing as a woman :O i didnt even recognize him o.o

[narlycat]

YOU know Noah would have only had to put on board land animals after all the sea creatures could bloody swim for themselves now couldn't they?

[trekgeek1]

@narlycat

If you flooded the world with salt or fresh water, it would either kill all fresh water animals or salt water animals. You can't mix all the water in the world and have radically different animals survive. Given that the majority of the water in the world is salt, and presuming that this rain would be fresh water, it's safe to assume that every aquatic animal would have been screwed. One more reason this is just another story of creation from a species that loves narrative.

[beerfairy]

@trekgeek1 Bullsharks would survive either

[trekgeek1]

@beerfairy

They wouldn't survive when all their prey was dead. They'd starve.

[beerfairy]

@trekgeek1 they can eat manatees?

[trekgeek1]

@beerfairy

Ha ha, yes, I suppose they could. Manatees also live in rivers during the winter. There would be no rivers if the Earth was flooded completely. Yes, some species of animal would survive changes in salinity, but most would not. Far fewer than we see today. Several thousand years isn't enough for evolution to create the diversity we see today. Manatees and Bull Sharks wouldn't become whales and tropical fish. :)

[beerfairy]

@trekgeek1 haha yes, well seeing how not ll sea life has died in recent tsunamis, I think it is safe to say that whatever tsunami struck back then was just that... a tsunami! with the little they knew about the massive proportions of the earth it would seem to them as if the whole world, which is flat, was flooded...

[ujustgotpwned2008]

I wish I could put "multi-lingual marathon-running transvestite" on my resumé. Izzard is awesome.

[TotallyBlueBerry]

Lol!

[retteretter]

The tigers... ate the blue things... :'(

[ozskipper]

If god is real why did he make so many atheists?



[lisamobro]

@ozskipper the devil makes athiests

[ozskipper]

@lisamobro... And Cults make religions. The only difference between a cult and religion is the mass of followers. Also, I don't think you know what an ashiest is. Based on christian religious dogma, a person created by or follower of your fictional character, Satan, is not an atheist, rather a Satanist. Where as an Atheist believes in neither. sigh!

[reaperdead]

@lisamobro And who made the devil, oh right, the omnipotent god. hur hur dumbass.

[beerfairy]

@lisamobro HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :'-D

[pophits]

I ADORE his tailcoat!!!

[ysha1123]

That's very finny

[Spjungen]

Somehow he loses his vibe when he's not crossdressing...may be just me but I dunno...

[xander7ful]

@Spjungen No, it's not just you. He's still funny, but lost that extra vibe.

[zeldafreak71]

o.o he's not very transvestity in this bit...

[TigersPrettyBunny]

:( He sounds like he's lost some of his British accent and gained more of an american accent

[Tunis16]

*at the ending* 'It's no poetry, man!'

[LibertarianINT]

He has some insanely funny hits, and some deathly unfunny misses. Not a bad comic IMO though

[phucklogins]

What show is this from?

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@phucklogins It's from "Stripped". Someone asked that before and I had to check the comments to find out myself. It's really funny and if you haven't seen it you are in for a treat at some point!

[simbad909]

i'd like to help out.. call the kid.. splashy :) and...again, cute .

[MadeinHell2]

And "Better Description" never came around

[labaret93]

Two llamas....two blue things....two zebras

[DirectInjected]

"...I will eat them later"

LMFAO. Tone is hilarious!

[cenodus]

We FOUUUND and CHIIIILD ! HAHA - cannot get enough...

[27thlegion]

"So a kitty cat and an owl went out in a pea green boat with, spoons, a toy helicopter and a Gatling gun?"

[Samura1gamer]

wow eddie looking like a normal male homo Sapiens! never seen that before

[kamwrites]

@Samura1gamer well...there's the eyeliner. ;)

[CobehRaptor]

Can't eat the Himalaya's?

Challenge Accepted.

[deathifacation]

@CobehRaptor a redditor i see

[KevsterJester42]

@RodHullOnceWasHim more than storage well you have to know that in order to survive marine life need to be in their proper enviroment, i.e. you can't put a goldfish in a fishtank full of saltwater for it will surely drown. Thnx for the upload btw!

[ptanyuh]

Decent quality dude, thanks for the upload.  I can't stand watching terrible bootlegs with horrible sound that you can barely hear, but this is a nice clip. Thanks :)

[labaret93]

theres no towels...

[MrY0ufail]

@labaret93 "Everything a bit damp, must inform trip adviser." :P First time he said There's no towels, I almost spit water all over my monitor.

[labaret93]

@MrY0ufail Is she there? No towels....

Me too! cept it was coffee...

I love how mad he looks when he says "Can't find Horace, think he's lashed to the roof."

[ChristopherDone]

Now I've seen everything?

Ever seen a man eat his own head?

No…

So then, you haven't seen everything.

[jibberjabberman]

@LycaonsBane most?

[chapin2914]

If there's a flood......why is Noah taking fish?

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@chapin2914 :) You have obviously never owned fish. The problem as ever is really one of storage :)

[kryp10yt]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim .....FLOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD!!!!­! Hope that helped.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@kryp10yt If your comment was suposed to make me think of extremely fast moving fish then yes, it did help.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim Sorry I meant "supposed". Not sure I needed to correct my spelling though given how badly you spelt the word flood? :)

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim "I" spelt the word? I never said anything of the sort! I spelt flood correctly only moments ago.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

"This is quite an extreme way to pretend you didn't just reply to yourself 2 comments ago isn't it?"

"I find that opinion intrusive."

[EyeHawk777]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim

you're an idiot

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@EyeHawk777 and you're a cunt! What's your point?

[EyeHawk777]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim

what youve done there is iscolated yourself as uneducated. I know, from your comments that you are in fact, an idiot. you do not know that I am a "cunt" so your very argument is redundant.

your comments prove that you are an idiot, that is all.

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@EyeHawk777 You pompous little man. Not done this before. Blocked! Get the fuck off my channel.

[NicolaMacLeod]

@chapin2914 that much fresh water added to the salt water of the oceans would make the water toxic to all fish, however it is a fairy tale so it really doesn't matter

[chapin2914]

@NicolaMacLeod You know, it's not much my busyness, but you should be careful about what you say about popular organized religion, there's a good chance you may be attacked by a lot of people just for saying it's a fairy tale.

[jerico641]

@chapin2914

Yeah, that's part of the problem. But, anyway, RELIGION IS A FAIRY TALE!!!!!!!

[sf49ersrule]

@chapin2914 well, freshwater mixed with salt water... would poison the fish

[Iopipimps]

@chapin2914 well fish are sensitive to fresh and sea water mixing. They can die if they aren't used to it. Somebody must have saved the fish cause they are still with us.

[Glad1kun]

@chapin2914 because in case of such flood almost all fish would die. Fish likes certain stuff in the water. Like salts. Certain amounts of salt. If you dilute the sea water with distilled water most of the stuff that live there will just die. People don't drink distilled water. Even if it is easy to get in most conditions.

[RasputinTheWerewolf]

@chapin2914 because he was a believer in God and did whatever the fuck God told him to do regardless of how utterly stupid it is.

[sf49ersrule]

@chapin2914 well, if freshwater mixed with salt, it would kill all the fish. but i get what you're saying

[jacksawild]

Rodhulloncewashim?... TMWRNJ fan I take it. AAAAHHHHHHH

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@jacksawild No not AAAHHHH. This is not an AAAHHHH situation :)

[labaret93]

I think he would have made a great Cheshire Cat

[SilentArtist269]

I'm going to build a hairdressers!

I'm going to build a monkey emporium!

I'm going to build a large pair of wooden shoes, that would fit a giant!

[jacobtribiani]

Why would the fish be brought on a boat during a flood? Makes no sense, Eddie :P

[YinsShadow]

@jacobtribiani he goes over that. It's kind of the point of his joke on saying it being gods will to wipe out the earth, is flawed in so many ways.

[YinsShadow]

@jacobtribiani oh sorry, look into the Glorious version of noah's ark. He talks about there, and Glorious is my favorite stand up act of his, at least of the american performed ones. Definite article is a side splitting 2 hour-fest though.

[Hojoky96]

lol, saw this live, it was awesome.

[Lotto15719]

"I'm gonna make a bloody boat."

[RusStudios928]

omfg thats the one show i went to in phx AZ! i loved him!

[GMMReviews]

Why is he taking fish? on a boat? during a flood? Surly they would be fine in WATER ? No ? :S

[havwulfkikboot]

@GMMReviews Except remember that saltwater fish can't survive in freshwater because they take in too much water and blow up, while freshwater fish can't survive in saltwater because they dehydrate

[Conspiracyknowledge]

"there's no towels. is she there? theres no towels" hahahahaha

[LoveMoodyBlues88]

"Cats, dogs, squirrels-" o_o "I'll eat them later."

[NeuroticN3rd]

But if you really wanted to, couldn't you eat the Himalayas? If you had enough time on your hands?

[BelligerentSwami]

Eddie is the man! .... or woman, depending on the day.

[MrAnywhatever]

YES TO AV!

[wannabedesi]

I...I...I hid in a collander.



[lushiousification]

which show is this from and is it out on DVD to buy?

[RodHullIOnceWasHim]

@lushiousification It's from "Stripped" and yep, it's from a while ago so is available on DVD. I was spoilt for choice of good clips to upload. The rapter in the car bit is sooo funny.

[ErnieBlackle]

Two tigers, two cats, two dogs, two fish, two rabbits, two squirrils, two llamas, two blue things....

[windwalker1313]

EPIC!

[Eavalinc]

we call him stumpy, or thumper... lmmfao

[sialababamak537]

OMFG. This is too much for one clip.

[Conspiracyknowledge]

"we found a child" HAHAHAHHAHAHA

[buttermilch1989]

Why would they put sea creatures on a boat during a flood?

[1Kurgan1]

@buttermilch1989 It's a joke, he's telling for entertainment, not historical value.

[buttermilch1989]

@1Kurgan1 Of course it is ;) But are you trying to tell us that the story of Noha's Ark has historical value?

[1Kurgan1]

@buttermilch1989 Matters what your beliefs are. But no matter what they are, he is also telling a joke, I don't go to movies and say "thats not possible!"

[cousinbelladonna]

Eddie looks mighty fine in them jeans, wow.

[FlatheadHarvey]

@RodHullIOnceWasHim Great video, but I just wanted to say you have an epic youtube username :P

[justxforxcommentsx]

why isn't he an actor?

[Snubbeniskrubben]

@justxforxcommentsx

He is already in several movies :S

Oceans Twelve for example.

[extremetea]

friggin eddie rocks. im sitting here watchin it rain laughin my ass of. shit . shit shit, maybe id better get off here and get busy on my ark.

[seeker430]

We found a child lol

Gotta love Eddie!

[chloelikeshaircuts]

His jeans are sexy.

[islandsylph]

Oh new shows. Splendid. Thank you

[borofreak]

The HORROR, man!!! They ate everyone, man!!

[zombieporn99]

lol @ squirrel hiding in collander.