My hourly rate is $65.00 after the initial 2 hour minimum.
Since you worked on it first I charge double since I not only have to fix the original problem but I now have to un-f*** your screw-up.
After I am done figuring out what your REAL problem is you need to find some kid that understands Windows or Linux or whatever-the-hell you are using and can explain it all to you in elementary terms(my next-door neighbor's 12-year-old son is really good at this).
b) While you're doing that, I'll submit a trouble-ticket to the Mumbai call center.
c) Just because these pig-fucker clients think they can get away with nickle-and-diming you to death due to the economy, that's no reason to let them actually get away with it.
d) While we're waiting to hear back from Mumbai, I'm gonna go ahead and de-frag the Buckminsterfullerenes in the shallow part of the com-link...
e) You tell these penny-pinching, I-don't-know-a-packet-from-my-pud, cork-soaking clients that if they want to pay $37.50 a fracking hour, they can go fracking hire Joe Incompetent from the frigging Geek Squad, or better yet, pay themselves to fix the com-link, 'cause they're gonna be thoroughly fucking HOSED either way, which is what they deserve!
f) Meanwhile, I'll drop Adobe Rototiller down the deep com-link and make sure it clears out any trace elements of the disassembler-editor.
g) Make them understand that you don't give a flying fuck about the alleged fracking economy, and their only real choice is that they can pay you a flat rate of no less than $500 per day plus expenses and have their stupid little problems solved before they become problems, or they can pay you $500 per day plus expenses after they've spent four or five weeks paying Jose Clueless $37.50 an hour to thoroughly HOSE their com-link from top to bottom.
My hourly rate is $65.00 after the initial 2 hour minimum.
Since you worked on it first I charge double since I not only have to fix the original problem but I now have to un-f*** your screw-up.
After I am done figuring out what your REAL problem is you need to find some kid that understands Windows or Linux or whatever-the-hell you are using and can explain it all to you in elementary terms(my next-door neighbor's 12-year-old son is really good at this).
paktc 2 years ago
never make a video again
ShaktipatSage 2 years ago
why does this exist?
josiahse 2 years ago
NO, that's fucking crazy!
a) You need to compile your kernel.
b) While you're doing that, I'll submit a trouble-ticket to the Mumbai call center.
c) Just because these pig-fucker clients think they can get away with nickle-and-diming you to death due to the economy, that's no reason to let them actually get away with it.
d) While we're waiting to hear back from Mumbai, I'm gonna go ahead and de-frag the Buckminsterfullerenes in the shallow part of the com-link...
FormerlyFlightsuit 2 years ago
e) You tell these penny-pinching, I-don't-know-a-packet-from-my-pud, cork-soaking clients that if they want to pay $37.50 a fracking hour, they can go fracking hire Joe Incompetent from the frigging Geek Squad, or better yet, pay themselves to fix the com-link, 'cause they're gonna be thoroughly fucking HOSED either way, which is what they deserve!
f) Meanwhile, I'll drop Adobe Rototiller down the deep com-link and make sure it clears out any trace elements of the disassembler-editor.
FormerlyFlightsuit 2 years ago
g) Make them understand that you don't give a flying fuck about the alleged fracking economy, and their only real choice is that they can pay you a flat rate of no less than $500 per day plus expenses and have their stupid little problems solved before they become problems, or they can pay you $500 per day plus expenses after they've spent four or five weeks paying Jose Clueless $37.50 an hour to thoroughly HOSE their com-link from top to bottom.
FormerlyFlightsuit 2 years ago