Added: 5 years ago
From: Hiragana2
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  • I found this speech hilarious. Also, I see that Michael326 or how ever it's spelt is a mouthy little "minor niner" who would not speak in such a manner with anybody from school; because mr. Iamafuckinggenius probably was not gifted with a dick, or a muscular body to fend people off from beating his sorry ass.

  • 7:05, the lady is like just " ohh sweet child, stop embarassing yourself"

  • Oh god, can I just go home!

  • dude youre our valedictorian? sounds like that bully from halloween town. ~woah hollywood!~

  • @christolena43

    Lol that was Hocus Pocus

  • AMEN BROTHER

  • he did plagarize, but he did an excellent job performing in front of a crowd like that

  • @BeepimajeepBeep try giving out a speech like that

  • What an egotistical maniac.

  • This dullard is the best that this class has to offer? You are all doomed.

  • Only WAY TO GO! lmfao

  • greatest speech was at my graduation man it was freakin hilarious

  • plagarism, plus his delivery was awful. Total trash.

  • unfunny

  •  Poor dork is gonna be a virgin for ever.

  • @emaculate Oh, not at all. Eventually, he'll succumb to some dullard skank after too many beers one evening.

  • @cosg9531 And thats why i am proud to be an American !!! hahahahaha .There will always be some willing skank!!

  • This is stupid. And there shouldn't be a comma in the title.

  • i like how the stuck up honer students didn't stand

  • @cheetawakeboarder u cant spell.....

  • @gocubs99 i kno its k spellin nazi

  • How did this guy rip-off Conan... there is no possible way for him to have viewed the video of Conan doing his speech... Youtube wasn't even in existence when he made this speech or at least it was only coming into existence.

  • PLAGIARISM 

  • @azndude3600 either way he did an amazing job giving the speech to the crowd

  • @borrock1 Bottom line: You should never steal someone else's intellectual property. This person literally stole the entire speech. This just really irks me. I find it extremely disrespectful to his own high school and to Conan O' Brien. And trust me, it's not hard to kill with stolen comedic gold.

  • im glad he didnt give that speech at my graduation, what a fucking embarrassment

  • i made it to 2 minutes into this clip. do i get a reward for that?

  • If this Shithead is the best we can do the Chinese are going to bury us.

  • I hate this kid. a lot.

  • Sweet! I like plagiarism. Check out my med school graduation speech (click on my username to see my channel) for an example of plagiarism that at least steals from multiple sources!

  • way to copy from conan o'brien's harvard commencement speech...

  • the teachers in da bacl ar probably wtf who let dis idiot on stage

  • Whos the fag tapin this vid, stfu at the beginning sounds so lame. That your bf on stage?

  • Wow.... thats sad when he trys making a joke at 6:46-6:56 and yet nobody laughs... Sad... But the rest was pretty good enough if it was "shameful" So yeahh...

  • this is rude, vulgar and offensive. I love this guy.

  • lolol the valedictorian segment in the beginning is very true though!

    the adult film star part was funny

    that speech wasn't bad

  • I'd be ashamed if i was a teacher there...didnt n e one check his speech first? I would have tackled him off the stage if i was there.... ^_^

  • Aw... this was so good... funny, but meaningful.

  • this speech is very annoying and insulting and the crowd thinks its funny ,,,,,, that tells something about the people in your community

  • wtf,,,,,,,,, this is what you called valedictorian ,,,damn only in west virginia ,,,,,,,,,, this guy is awful ,,,, absolutely rubbish , i cant believe this guy even finished high school with this type of mentality

  • Hahaha...I wish I was able to get away with this in my school. They'd have probably kicked me off the stage 2min into it.

  • I actually stood up and joined the standing ovation at the end. that was a GENIUS speech! :)

  • Haha!!! "I gotta make up for lost time."

    Found myself clapping along at the end :)

  • what a jerk.. I gained respect for him for having the balls to admit he was a virgin.. but lost it somewhere within the other 400 things he jerkishly spouted.

  • Did anyone notice chuck norris at 4:34?

  • LOLOL "amen brother!"

    AW, haha.

  • "share the message" love it

  • Can anyone highlight the times of when he "rips of conan". I only got him copying the virgin joke and the adult industry joke...

  • he had a lot of good material of his own. he did definitely rip off conan though.

  • The douche meter is going crazy!!!!

  • oh god what a douche.. lol @ amerifags

  • Exactly a damned rip-off of Conan. The kid probably thought he was being brilliant when he set up his graduating-virgin jokes and educated-but-stupid self-satires that none of the faculty cared enough to check on. But his fellow graduates will sooner or later find out that their valedictorian was a shameful, wannabe plagiarist.

  • someone sounds alittle spiteful

  • @danninemx  dude this kids a fuckin punk. future politician, rippin off so blatantly

  • @danninemx You got a purty mouth...

  • @danninemx quit trolllliiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnn

  • lol "ONLY WAY TO GO"

  • I live in WV fucking dick :D

  • not cool to steal material my man

  • that fucking sucked

  • ripoff. stole stuff from conan o'brien.

  • Ripped Off Conan Speech in Harvard! FAIL!

  • I know right.

  • This was just a Conan speech ripoff... Just watch the 2000 Harvard graduation speech and see.

  • This guy stole his "and this guy's our valedictorian?" line from Conan. Bad form.

  • I dont know anything about this guy, I stumbled Upon this... and i already know you are (mnnicholas304) an asshole because you cant spell "Douche"...

    Dumb Ass.

  • lmao! I didn't even know what he meant by "dush" until you pointed that out.

  • this kid is an asshole. what a freekin dush.

  • i do believe you mean "douche", you dush.

  • stuff like this gets me bored fast... to think im going to go through this next june... =S

  • Lol, no. The world is not a lot like High School XD When you can't pay your mortgage, it's completely on you, and there's no one to nag you into doing it; add to that the consequences are much more dire than a simple grade demotion, or an "incomplete" on an assignment. You lose your home >=) That's reality.

  • i guess being a valedictorian does not mean you aren't ignorant.

    stay out of west virginia, your ethnocentric comments are not smart, or funny

  • Right around 2:54 some girl says "he has a big cock". Thanks for that info..

  • Wow at my school everyhtings so stupid and ghetto all speeches must be approved there is no freedom of speech!!!

  • love this speech!

  • I'm from West Virginia >_>

  • just sayin it like it is eh!! LMAOO.

    NICEEE!!!

  • Sweet

  • kid seems like an asshole, but all in all helped me in my speech nigga

  • GAAAAYYYYY

  • awkward jokes that only got laughs because every is going crazy just be because of the occassion. nothing particularly sincere or poetic to be said. cliched lines of '..teachers ensure the success of our livelihoods!'

  • He was a bit of an ass, but you have to admire his balls. Takes guts to do something like that.

  • this kid is an ass. it's fags like this that make highschool suck.

  • nice, fun speech. the teachers werent happy.

  • Most of the lines were ripped directly from Conan O'Brien's commencement speech. Pathetic and unfunny. Go die.

  • Unorganized and still never found a purpose for his speech...

  • lol, jokes =D

  • small as hell class.

    my sister's was around 1200

  • mad funny man best speach ive ever heard lol what state is this in

  • Alaska

  • this sucked

  • Your face sucked.

  • im actually giving my in two days n urs was god damn hilarious

  • shit gotta turn mines in tomorrow. same here thanks for the inspiration

  • I bet he got some action that night!

  • haha that was phenomenal. I just started writing mine...gotta turn it in monday. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • Haha me too.

  • That speech was fantastic!! I admire your enthusiam and humor!! I have to come up with a speech for the grad celebration as well and I diffinately learned a thing or two from watching this video! Thanks for posting:)

  • lol. that was nice. i have my middle school grad speech i have to write and i dont know what to write...

  • LOL "middle school"?

  • The school after elementary and after high school retard. What's wrong with middle school? Do you think that whatever grade you're in automatically determines your smartness or maturity? I'm willing to bet that there are about a million middle schoolers out there that are smarter and/or more mature than you, including me. So fuck off and die.

  • Way to be mature with your last sentence. "...fuck off and die." How mature.

  • Note how I said and/or more mature. And if you were smart you would have noticed that I put "after Elementary and after High School" when I should of put before High School. So do everyone a favor and please, remove yourself from the gene pool.

  • You're basically admitting an error on your part, and you're telling ME to "remove" myself from the gene pool? Your argument is basically ad hominem and you're putting yourself out there as a pretentious, pseudo-intellectual douchebag. Now if YOU were smart, you would've noticed that I only commented about your "mature" remarks at the end of the sentence, and not the rest of your shitty remark. So please, "Darren", take your own advice for once instead of preaching what you don't practice.

  • I'm not "basically" admitting an error, I am admitting an error. If Thomas Edison never admitted his errors, YOU would be forced to read YOUR dictionary in the dark. Now if YOU were smart, you would've noticed that I never once said that you didn't comment about my "advice"at the end of the sentence. So please, "Michael", take my advice for once.

  • What does any of that have to do with being "mature"? "Fuck off and die..." is what you said, and I was just pointing out about how pathetic and immature it sounded. And then out of nowhere, you try to justify this by claiming that MILLIONS of middle schoolers are geniuses? But then again, you ARE just a middle schooler, so why should anyone expect to take your ass seriously? Any argument that a middle schooler makes usually ends in "your mom", "asshole", or "fuck off and die".Its all ad nauseam

  • I said millions of middle schoolers are SMARTER than the inbred whom i was replying to. Your pathetic comments amuse me, do you really think your mom is ad nausem? That's not very nice, ASSHOLE! FUCK OFF AND DIE!

  • Comment removed

  • Aww look at the angry pre-pubescent middle school, all riled up that he got scammed on Neopets and is deciding to troll internet videos because his mommy didn't buy him that SUPER COOL NEW...thing he wanted. Please kid, you're not tough shit. Your fucking profile has "your mom" as an interest. Honestly, why did your parents even decide to breed? The world could have been spared your idiocy. At least parents now have a classical "supremist middle school bigot" to learn from. Dumbfuck.

  • I don't think middle schools can be angry or prepubescent due to the fact that they are inanimate objects.

  • I'm not angry. I find your pathetic attempts at humor are rather amusing.

  • I find it amusing that you think the words "anger" and "pre-pubescent" are things you can hold in your hand, which you imply by saying they are "inanimate objects". Yes, your arguments are ad nauseam, and I find it even more amusing that you think I am trying to "humor" you.

  • I was implying that "middle schools" are inanimate objects (Which, by the way, does not mean "to be able to be held in the hand", if it did, a kitten and a puppy would be inanimate objects, too) not "anger" and "prepubescent" ( Which, contrary to idiot belief, does not have a hyphen) I was not asking if my comments were "ad nauseam", I was asking if you thought your mother was "ad nausem." While you may not be "trying" to "humor" me, you certainly are.

  • I really don't know how my mother being "ad nauseam" is related to anything. But, judging by your half assed comments, "your mother", "yo momma", "joe momma" is all you really seemed to be interested. You never once asked me if my mother was "ad nauseam" (which, contrary to your idiot logic, is spelt with an "a" near the end). Quite frankly, what you said doesn't make sense. Now please, do US all a favor and: *starts listing* "Fuck off and die", "asshole", "your momma", ...anything else kid?

  • List of grammatical errors in your previous comment: *clears throat, nearly shits self when notices how long list is, and starts listing* Near the beginning of your dumbass comment you made a list of things you looked up off the internet that contained maternal references. In said list you left out a crucial "and" after "yo momma". If I did not know the correct spelling of "ad nauseam" then I obiousy wouldn't of spelt it correctly previously. You also left out an "and" in the last list.

  • Now that's over with, I can now prove that I am smater than you. The fact that you called my comments "half assed" really shows your true stupidity. If anything, my comments were just shy of sheer genius. Just the right amount of smart remarks mixed with facts to back them up. I never even once said "yo momma" or "joe momma". If you had even paid attention to my brilliant comments, you would have seen that I asked you if you really thought your mom was ad nauseam. To be continued...

  • I don't think its possible to "asshole" and "your momma" which you implied I should do at the end of your half quarter-witted comment. And if you even say one thing about me "forgetting to put the 'r' in 'smarter'" or " forgetting the 'v' and 'l' in obviously" then you really have no soul. I could only afford a second-hand computer because I have recently been giving all my spare money to the desperate people in Haiti. So my keyboard isn't really "top of the line".

  • And now you are calling your "fuck off and die" comments sheer genius?! You should know, having a sharp tongue does not mean you posses a keen mind. You have proved to me, time in and time out, that perhaps your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. It's unfortunate how you're in middle school, though. Surely I would've heard more obscenities, but I have to give you credit, I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you, and that's saying A LOT. Now shoo.

  • I stopped reading after "Now...", only because I know that I have already been bombarded by a missile of stupid the past 8 billion times that you've commented. Yes, you're comments are nothing short of douchebaggery. You're profile is what gave me the clues. It seems that all of your interests include my mother. That's okay. Incest is probably legal in Sandy Valley. And yes, I understand the innuendo with that as well. To be continued...

  • I think it's pretty sad that you pose yourself as the better person, when YOU were the one that instigated. You attacked "ThatFoolishBoy's" comment, even though, clearly, he was being sarcastic. To add insult to injury, you type what any typical MIDDLE SCHOOLER would type when they're trying to show off their e-penis: "Fuck off and die". Ha, I can't get enough of that, and it's pretty sad how I constantly see it. You are THE BEST example of a low-class human who has absolutely no self-respect.

  • You have no idea how annoying you are, do you? Sandy Valley is located in Northern Ohio, not West Virginia, so incest is not legal. I know you had your hopes up, so I found you something that might cheer you up. 330-452-7694. Give them a call, they might be able to help with your mental handicaps. I only put "fuck off and die" for comedic reasons. I like to add a little humor to all my comments. I'm sensing that your trying to show off your e-pussyby picking on people to make yourself feel

  • better. Saying that I instigated was almost as dumb as whatever you accidently typed three weeks ago that youhad to remove. "ThatFoolishBoy's" comment was a disgrace to any nineteen-year-old who has a shred of decency, so I felt as if I needed to teach him a lesson.

  • You can't, and never will, "teach" people over the internet. Not only can't people ever detect sarcasm over the sound of typing fingers, but you can't obviously EXPECT people to take "fuck off and die" as a joke. You're an idiot if you think that. I don't know your twisted and diluted pre-conceived notions of "how to act on the internet", but I can tell you flat out that in a real conversation, you would probably get the shit kicked out of you for being such an arrogant asshole. Now again...shoo

  • And another thing. You're in middle school. You don't "teach" anybody, because NOBODY is going to listen to you. Learn to control that e-penis of yours, and learn that if you start acting like tough shit in real life, you'd get the shit kicked out of you. Learn your place, and maybe the school bullies will stop forcing you to suck their dicks after football practice.

  • Actually, the kids that I tutor seem to be learning a lot. They have all improved their grades by at least 15%. Now, time for a grammar lesson. Never, ever, ever, start a sentence with "and." Poor grammar is increasing like an epidemic, and I intend to make the world a little less completely idiotic with every comment. I don' think I'll be teaching them with my "e-penis" (which sounds like a name for an electronic dildo) though.

    P.S. I don't play football

  • Man, I seriously hope the kids that you tutor don't grow up to become misanthropic assholes like you. For one, I don't need to be "grammatically correct" on the internet. For somebody like me who has scored perfect 800's on the SAT's critical reading and writing sections, along with the literature SAT II, I really don't need to hear how I don't have to start sentences with "and". Also, I don't give a crap if you don't play football. In most cases, you'll just make for an easy target.

  • Нет целей в футболе, но есть цели в стрельбе из лука и стрелках.

  • No hay objetivos en el futbol, pero hay objetivos en el tiro al arco y dardos.

  • Non ci sono dei bersagli nel football, ma ci sono dei bersagli nel tiro con l'arco e le freccette.

  • Es gibt nicht Ziele in Fußball, aber es gibt Ziele in Bogenschießen und Wurfpfeilen.

  • אין יעדים הכדורגל, אבל יש יעדים', מתכת.

  • Usually, in an argument, you try to refrain from speaking different languages using Google translator. However, since you have lost all maturity and ability to post a coherent response, I will assume that you are just a trolling son of a bitch, and that any attempt to communicate using an ounce of rational thought has been lost. I will move forward with blocking you, knowing full well that I won this. Please keep trolling videos, because there wouldn't be an internet without assholes like you.

  • Aww, did the little baby go tell on me to his mommy?

    Michael: Mommy, I'm a pussy and can't win an argument!

    Mom: Hmm, you could either man up and not be a pussy, or block him.

    Michael: I'll take the easy way out and block him, because I'm a pussy!

    Mom: I don't give a shit what you do, just buy me some smokes and whiskey while your at it!

  • Ha! It speaks! Who knew that a troll could actually learn to make a retort, despite making childish comments earlier. Oh wait, he still is! Do you have no friends? Are you that desperate enough to play out your own idiot dialogue with yourself? That's what I'm reading. I'm not sure what this "man up" thing you're talking about. You haven't proved anything that would make me think for one second that you're "tough". Unfortunately, I DID block you, but I still saw this comment.

  • Seriously, resulting to petty insults only shows that I did win. What is there to "man up" to when YOU YOURSELF are acting like an asshole? You're in middle school, so of course you need to flex your hubris, but like I said; in the real world, you'd get your ass kicked. No wonder you feel completely safe behind that keyboard. I'll leave you back to fantasizing about me and my mother while you play out your own dialogue with yourself.

  • @Michael326 I don't give a shit who won. The important thing is that I was able to keep you commenting for two months! Anybody with 1/8 of a brain would have stopped after the first few comments, but no, you just had to go on and on about shit no one cares about. The last few comments were an attempt to get you to shut the hell up!

    P.S. I'm in High School now, and blocking someone just makes me unable to comment on your channel.

  • @brackattack14 ROFL. You're still alive? I only comment back when I get those damn inboxes on the homepage. The best way to get me to "shut the hell up" is if you SHUT THE FUCK UP. But you don't, for some odd reason. I'll keep replying, so long as you keep spewing garbage out of your mouth. I mean, it only takes me a minute to think up and type out my responses, so I'm not really wasting a lot of time. Yet you, you take upwards of 3 months to finally come back with a retort. Hilarious!

  • @Michael326 I was deleting comments in my inbox and came across one of your shitty replies, which brought back many memories of writing comments with the specific intent of annoyning you, and for the most part, it worked. So I decided to start again. Now where were we... oh yes I remember, I was just remembering how idiotic you are. The only time you can comment back is when you get "one of those damn inboxes on the homepage"

  • @brackattack14 It does make sense, actually. On the homepage, you know that you've received a comment when the word "comments" has a 1 next to it. This is under your INBOX. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out. And honestly, your comments really don't annoy me, only because I'm not childish to bitch and moan about how much you "buurn" me. You don't, so get the fuck over it. And I know that 8th graders like you care more about "free time" than anything, so I'm just gonna reply now to waste it

  • @Michael326 (Which doesn't make any sense because there is no inbox on the homepage) because if you don't get a comment, you obviously can't reply. By the way, I'm the one replying to you, since you replied to my first comment.

  • @brackattack14 After all, you'll keep coming back to shithole that this video, and taking upwards of one to two months to figure out what kind of stupidity I should be exposed to. And because you seem to think that you "won", I'll always take a 180 and come back when you least expect it. And because you are so extremely attracted to my comments like porn is to community college dropouts, you will have no choice to to reply. Therefore, I win.

  • @brackattack14 And look, you can try to disprove my charade by using "logic", or your definition of logic, all you want. But in order to do that, you need to come back HERE and reply, which ultimately means that I succeed in getting you to waste time. The only way to have it end, is if you stop replying. But you can't, because in your own mind, you feel the NEED to reply in order to "burn" me and get me to shutup, but you can't because I will ALWAYS come back. Stop trying kid. You'll fail.

  • @brackattack14 So in all, I hope you realize that you are just a sackless piece of shit that has no other purpose in life. You only exist to annoy, to pester, to aggravate any given situation. Perhaps this is for attention? Maybe you have a mental disorder? Either way, kid, if I had the chance, I would have beaten the crap out of you a long time ago. But unfortunately, I do not have this opportunity. I'll keep using my brain when I retort. You just stick to thinking with your dick, okay?

  • @Michael326

    Hey, usually I don't jump in on this stuff, but if this "brackattack14" guy is really an immature troll like you say he is, then why were you arguing with him back and forth over a period of 7 months on a YouTube Comments page? Just think about it for a bit...

  • @awesome20133

    I thank nature for giving me the ability to look down far enough to see all the small brained insects such as yourself.

    I thank my parents for gifting me with the sense of humor necessary to laugh at instead of cry for you.

    And I assure you, if I am truly as bad as brackattack, our similarities are not coincidental. They're nonexistent. It would take a hundred thousand years of careful eugenics to produce something like me, given a race of people like him.

  • @Michael326 You know I don't give a shit about you, right? I just did all that for fun. By the way, what the hell is a "sackless piece of shit"? Aren't all pieces of shit "sackless"? I've never seen a piece of shit with a sack.

  • @brackattack14

    lol. You actually got a few words out without stumbling over your ineptitude with the English language. Who'd you have write it for you? :)

    Resignation accepted. Feel free to have the last word. lol.

  • @Michael326 u mad bro?

  • @brackattack14 Keep raging. :)

  • @Michael326 I can't have the last word if you keep replying :)

  • @brackattack14 If you had any self-esteem, you would cease replying. But at the same time, when you let me have the last word, you're effectively saying that I was right about you all along. Either way, I win, but at least you get to choose how. :)

    Resignation accepted. Thank you for forfeiting. :)

  • @Michael326 I don't recall ever resigning. I seem to recall you resigning when you said "Feel free to have the last word. lol." You never won either. You defeated the whole purpose of your argument by calling me names such as "dumbfuck, sackless piece of shit, low-class human, and douchebag"

  • @brackattack14

    Keep going. But just remember, each and every time you reply...you are further proving my point. I love it when people resign, even when they "say" that they don't.

    :)

  • @Michael326 If I had resigned I would not be replying :)

  • @brackattack14

    Trust me, you're done. Far past it.

    Resignation accepted again. :)

  • @Michael326 It appears as if I have gone from being the troll, to being the troll-ee.

  • @brackattack14 Feel free to have the last word, then.

    But just know that your resignation is (for a third time) accepted after you've had your last word. :)

    *adds to block, then chuckles and walks away*

  • @Michael326 You've tried blocking me before, and it failed. What makes you think it will work now?

  • @Michael326 Ah, the old "Not reply so he thinks the block actually worked" trick, used to near perfection. Except I know for a fact that even when you're blocked you can still reply to their comments. So I take it your giving up? Unless you can point out to me where exactly I said my "resignation" I guess I win this argument.

  • Good speech but not all that orginal, he definately ripped off some material fom Conan O'brien's Harvard commencement speech in 2000.

  • I am graduating a virgin also!

  • WOW! that was hilarious... i can't imagine anyone in my school having the guts to speak like that...

  • And you will remain a virgin ;)