By popular demand, a little ditty 'bout the Swine Flu

Yo, this swine flu panic is just plain crazy
If you dont learn the facts, man youre just bein lazy
Dont let the morons and the media fool you
Yo, Im not a doctor, but Ill be glad to school you

Its not caused by sausage, pork or bacon
If you think that it is, well youre sorely mistaken
Being a human pig is way more deadly than this virus
Youre more likely to get killed by Miley Cyrus

CHORUS (2X)
Youre not gonna catch the mother $#@*ing swine flu (I SAID)
Youre not gonna catch the mother $#@*ing swine flu (WHAT)
Youre not gonna catch the mother $#@*ing swine flu (I SAID)
And even if you did, its not gonna kill you

You dont need to wash your hands til theyre raw
Just stay out of dirty places like Arkansas
Youre not gonna catch it just because its called a pandemic
Just adopt some habits that are reasonably hygienic (LIKE)

Dont lick the handle on a public toilet (AND)
Dont leave your food out in the sun, cause youll spoil it (LIKE)
Dont try to catch someones sneeze with your face (AND)
Dont wipe your runny nose all over the place

CHORUS (2X)

Just because someones Mexican doesnt mean theyre sick
Youre just making an excuse for being a racist prick
Dont panic on the subway just because someone coughs
And if I see you with a mask Im gonna KNOCK IT $#@*ING OFF

Just a handful of people have died from it, man
Why dont we pay this much attention to the dying in Sudan
H to the 1 to the N to the 1
Is just a fancy $#@*ing flu now get over it, son

CHORUS (2X)

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Love in the time of recession....

Remember when we started out, we didnt have very much
Just our dreams, our hopes and your tender touch
We couldnt pay our bills, or even afford our rent
But in the 90 we soared, our relationship grew
We traded mutual funds and stocks and bonds, and ETFs too
Just like Oprahs ass each year you grew by 40 percent

I guess I shouldnt have stayed in the market so long
I thought it was strong, but I guess I was wrong
Now instead of mine, its your time of the month that I dread
And babe, its not my fault that I got laid off
At least we didnt give all our money to Madoff
But I guess it wasnt better than buying Citi stock instead

CHORUS
Oh my portfolio, where did you go?
You have gone so far down, Ive never felt so low
Please tell me youll come back, please tell me that its not the end
Oh my portfolio, where did you go?
Exactly what went wrong, I dont think Ill ever know
I cant stand to think that Ill have to start again

Now Im doing anything that I can to save a dime
Im even using toilet paper one sheet at a time
Its a dirty game, but you do whatcha gotta do
Now there may be an unpleasant odor on my finger
But the scent of savings will truly linger
If I just make this last roll last until 2022

The recessions even making our love life less romantic
Cant afford pay per-view, now we use National Geographic
Cant bear to open my legs, when all my favorite stores have closed
You always loved me before, but do you still think Im a winner
Now we eat Mickey Ds for breakfast, lunch and dinner
And its not my body, but my nest egg thats been exposed

CHORUS

Why cant we try again, lets get back in the dance
We can take it slow, lets give it one more chance
Lets try to make it up a little bit at a time
Just like Grandma said bout Grandpa, that night in the car
It might take twice as long to get it up half as far
I really wish we could end this song with a better rhyme

CHORUS

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A hip-hop tribute to Mother Nature's perfect food....

Get the t-shirt at http://skreened.com/blukoi/gim me-a-slice

The world today is so complicated
I got so much to do, it gets me so frustrated
One problem that we share whether fat or thinner
With so little time, what do you do for dinner?

You need something quick, and something hot
Something delicious and nutritious that will hit the spot
So if youre really hungry, you can eat a lot
Or you can just eat a little if youre really not

I dont know how to cook, but I gotta make a rhyme
Even if I could cook, I dont have the time
And you cant eat out or order in every night
You need something tasty that will treat your wallet right.

Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I didnt like Bo Bice what? I like Jerry Rice what?
What about Mike Tice what? Gimme a slice!
Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I crack jokes like Dice what? I dont have head lice what?
I roll like Miami Vice what? Gimme a slice!

Its Mother Natures perfect food
It always puts me in a good mood
Its got all six food groups in the pyramid
You dont think so? Yo, lemme school ya, kid!

Ya got crust for your grain, cheese for your dairy
Tomato sauce is fruit yo, thats kinda scary!
Your toppings take care of your veggies and your meat
And the whole things phat yo, your pyramids complete!

So dont let em tell you different
Just down a slice and then pop a breath mint
So what if it gives you a little bit of gas?
You can take your health food and shove it up your.

Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I didnt like Bo Bice what? I like Jerry Rice what?
What about Mike Tice what? Gimme a slice!
Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I crack jokes like Dice what? I dont have head lice what?
I roll like Miami Vice what? Gimme a slice!

No, its not just for dinner, either.
Need a nice hot lunch? GIMME A SLICE!
Got an afternoon pang? GIMME A SLICE!
Need a midnight snack? GIMME A SLICE!
Need a hangover helper? GIMME A SLICE!
What kinda slice you like? Plain cheese
What kinda slice you like? I like mushroom
My heart belongs to pepperoni

The perfect slice is a privilege to munch
With the first bite, the crust greets your teeth with a crunch
And then you taste the sauce, and then you feel the cheese
Its enough to make a man go wobbly in the knees

Its a pleasure that they treasure all around the globe
Everyones got pizza on their frontal lobe
In Brazil, they like their slices topped with green peas
In Pakistan, its curry. Seriously? Please.

In Russia they like seafood on their slices
Tuna, salmon man, I wonder what the price is
In Japan, they put eel on it thats too much
But they get it right in Holland with the Double Dutch
(Thats double meat, double cheese, and double onion nice)

Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I didnt like Bo Bice what? I like Jerry Rice what?
What about Mike Tice what? Gimme a slice!
Gimme a slice! Gimme a slice!
A slice would be nice! Gimme a slice!
I crack jokes like Dice what? I dont have head lice what?
I roll like Miami Vice what? Gimme a slice!

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Metallica's "Enter Sandman" performed by Mister Tim www.mistertimdotcom.com

Thanks for all the votes and song suggestions... I'm now finally working on two follow-up videos: one the runaway lead vote-getter, and the other one that was never mentioned but I'm going to do anyway.


****mp3 now available at mistertimdotcom.com****

Filmed and recorded at The Batcave, Las Vegas, NV.

FAQ:
- Yes, all four are the same guy (Mister Tim).
- Yes, the guy on the bottom left is angry (heartburn).
- Yes, the hat says "Canada" (tribute to Corey Vidal and Phil Hartman).
- The Kazoo is being held aloft by a custom-crafted KH200 or "Kazanger" (made from a wire coat hanger).
- Lars Ulrich is the alias I use at hotels to hide from crazy groupies.
- The doll is a genuine Donny Osmond doll, purchased 15 years ago at a garage sale from the Osmond family. For reals.
- the the pony is a toy pony. Angry Tim holds onto her to lower both blood pressure and innocent bystander deaths.

For more music - including free mp3 downloads! - check out http://www.mistertimdotcom.com

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Season 13 EP.08 featuring Anjelah Johnson as Bon Qui Qui

All rights reserved to Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

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Justin Timberlake's Dick In A Box is a holiday favorite.

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"Oh, if you become VP, oh it's Canada for me..."

The now viral video has hit our home in a big way. Our four year-old is currently constantly chiming in with the chorus (which is about all she's allowed to listen to, given the language in the 'original')...

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Honoring Howie & Julie for their wonderful singing & writing, I created this tribute/remix to compliment them and their song "hey Sarah Palin". If you like it, please vote on it and pass it on! To all those who voted for bush but recently voted for OBAMA... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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This was originally written by VengaProdctions and the song is by the Plain white tees...this is just my version

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