Those Aren't Muskets! are your port in a storm, your hot cup of tea on a cold winter's day, your daily dose of laughter-induced vomiting. Their dynamic new paradigm first synergized in 2007, when then-Heavyweight Champion of the World Abe "Ape" Epperson laid down his gloves in the ring, refusing to fight opponent Michael Swaim on the grounds that he "didn't want to hurt anyone anymore." The two embraced, the people of Mexico wept, and Those Aren't Muskets! was born.

Influences: Kids in the Hall, Mr. Show, Monty Python, Preston Sturges, Arrested Development, Futurama and The Simpsons, too many stand-up and film comedians to name.