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haha Good old Chuck Norris below !

Archaeologists in India recently uncovered a new dinosaur. It's actually many dinosaurs but one is in the middle of all the others. The one in the middle is believed to have killed the others with a single roundhouse kick to the face. The archaeologists wanted to call it ChuckNorrisaurs but the Indian government changed the name to Himotosaurous because it's simply not possible for Mr. Norris to be killed.

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Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection... There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.

There is no Theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condem.

Chuck Norris doesn't own a house. He walks into random houses and people move out.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31 to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.

And that's just a few from my arsenal. I got thousands more. You better hope Chuck Norris doesn't go looking for you...