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It all started when our (former porn) star, Jesse, woke up in a disease-infested jungle. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling very concerned, Jesse slapped a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he realized that his beloved Magic Shoes was missing! Immediately he called his favorite rape victim, Gregg. Jesse had known Gregg for (plus or minus) 61 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Gregg was unique. She was intelligent though sometimes a little... insensitive. Jesse called her anyway, for the situation was urgent. Gregg picked up to a very sad Jesse. Gregg calmly assured him that most albino cats shudder before mating, yet spotted wolf hamsters usually sassily turn red *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Jesse. Why was Gregg trying to distract Jesse? Because she had snuck out from Jesse's with the Magic Shoes only nine days prior. It was a enticing little Magic Shoes... how could she resist? It didn't take long before Jesse got back to the subject at hand: his Magic Shoes. Gregg yawned. Relunctantly, Gregg invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Magic Shoes. Jesse grabbed his George Foreman grill and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Gregg realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Magic Shoes and she had to do it carefully. She figured that if Jesse took the pimp fresh, candy-painted 'Lac, she had take at least eight minutes before Jesse would get there. But if he took the Legs? Then Gregg would be abnormally screwed. Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Gregg was interrupted by six selfish MY Little Ponys that were lured by her Magic Shoes. Gregg yawned; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling exasperated, she thoughtfully reached for her ninja star and thoughtfully deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Legs rolling up. It was Jesse.

----o0o---- As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Wal-Mart to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so he knew he was running late. With a mighty leap, Jesse was out of the Legs and went indiscriminately jaunting toward Gregg's front door. Meanwhile inside, Gregg was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Magic Shoes into a box of potatos and then slid the box behind her hammock. Gregg was worried but at least the Magic Shoes was concealed. The doorbell rang.