As the "sick, sick mind behind 669," Craig Callander helms the most scatological show on the Cleveland airwaves. Otherwise known as Dr. Lance Underpants and Sweet Ass Sassafras, Callander comes with a nonstop barrage of oddball in-studio guests (everyone from the Insane Clown Posse to Cleveland furniture czar Marc Brown) and humor as black and sticky as an oil spill. In between blasting everything from vintage punk to Tiny Tim, Callander fields calls from naked Puerto Rican chicks, cops, and dudes pretending to be robots named Zeldar. During a recent show (his program airs Saturday mornings from 1 to 4 a.m.), Callander attempted to encapsulate the mirth and misanthropy that is 669. "Let's sum it up with a few adjectives," he began. "Obviously, it's musky. It's helpful, inflammatory, swollen, subliminal, special - like short-bus special. It's Dee Sniderish and Judas Priestly. Understandable? Not so much."